Bring on the Jury! ...again!

[kainasilverbane]

Yeah, I know, I just submitted one, but since I dunno when I'll next be able to do ANYTHING CCS wise, I thought I'd binge you guys a bit and do two. You're gonna hate me though, for this chapter, and it's successor...whenever I get that one up. Maybe tonight, maybe not.

Title: Shards
Author/Penname: Kainasilversbane
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: Chapter

Comments

Not going to let LJ eat my comment again x.x

[claire_chan]

Typo ridden but that's why we're here to help. xD Perhaps giving it a second read before posting will help this as well.

Is bring your loved ones into a conflict that they are not apart of, simply because they insisted, worth it? Is bringing, a part of.

They made it to the next cavern with little difficulty, but regretted leaving the comforting light of The Glow and into the dimly lit cave. Parallel sentence structure will make it flow better. "regretted leaving the comforting light of The Glow and [entering, walking, any -ing moving verb here] into the dimly lit cave.

Inside, they found it covered in vertical rock spires and pillars, seemingly placed in a random order around the glowing crystal, that against was stationed at the ceiling of the cave. Argh, I don't like this sentence. For some reason the 'inside' really jars with 'they found it covered' to me. Perhaps.. "They found the inside of the new cavern covered.."

And then, again, not against. XD

She looked back when she heard a muffled banging sound behind her and found

[claire_chan]

It's not typo ridden. XD Sorry. I don't know what I was typing.

[kainasilverbane]

rofl! I'm seriously just reading this now! See how long it's been since I've been on here? And I've missed all the community challenges. Makes me sad, but at least, now that I have time, I'll be able to play around in the place again!

*Pops open chapter in Word and fixes*