Science Fiction, Double Feature
Title: Science Fiction, Double Feature
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, Gwen, Owen
Summary: Jack takes Ianto to the theatre.A/N: Yes I know Jack doesn’t drink but even he’d make an exception for this! Once again beta'd by the ever-amazing mrs_cj_harkness
"What are they up to in there?” Gwen asked, as a strangled yelp came from Jack’s suspiciously closed and shuttered office.
“I don’t know,” Tosh replied, busily tapping away at her keyboard, “but they’ve disabled the CCTV again.”
“Only one way to find out then.” Gwen grinned as she moved across to Jack’s door and beckoned Tosh to join her.
Tosh pressed her ear to the door next to Gwen and both were soon wearing puzzled expressions as they tried to make sense of what they were hearing.
“I thought you said tight, Sir!” There was more than a hint of amusement in Ianto’s voice.
“Not that tight! I rather like being able to breathe thank-you.”
Gwen looked over at Tosh, “What…” she began, but was quickly shushed as they heard Ianto speak again.
“Are you sure you can walk in those, Jack?”
“Yes,” came the exasperated reply, “believe it or not I’ve had a lot of practice. How do I look?”
“Do you really need me to tell you?”
“Not when you’re doing such a good job of showing me, no.” Jack chuckled.
“I think we should go now.” Tosh whispered. Gwen nodded but neither moved.
There was a groan, then, “Why did I ever let you talk me into this?”
“Because it’ll be fun and you know it. Now have we got everything? I don’t want to be late and miss my chance to show you off.”
“I think that’s it, yes.” There was a pause, “Shit, I left my coat in the SUV.”
“We can pick it up on the way, come on.”
“Jack, I’m not walking through the Hub like this, what if they’re still here?”
“Alright, alright, you can wear mine; it won’t hide your hair though.”
“You’re sure this stuff will wash out?”
“For the last time, yes! Now move it.”
They sprang back as the door was pulled open and stared in shock at the sight of their boss in a corset, fishnet stockings and very little else.
“What’s the matter?” Jack drawled, “Never seen a man in drag before?” He grinned at the two girls, who blinked at him in stunned silence, before turning back into the office, “You coming?”
Ianto appeared at his shoulder, Jack’s great-coat pulled tightly around himself and nodded briefly at the girls before being dragged towards the exit by an impatient Jack.
“See you in the morning, ladies!” Jack called over his shoulder as they stepped through the cog door.
It took Gwen a moment to find her voice. “Was he…?”
“Yes.”
“I thought he said they were going to the theatre?” Gwen mused.
“Oh!” Tosh’s hands flew to her mouth as she gasped in sudden realisation and began to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Gwen asked, thoroughly bemused by her colleague’s behaviour.
Tosh moved back over to her workstation and beckoned Gwen closer, “I think I know what’s going on.” She typed a quick search and pulled a monitor round to give Gwen a better view. “I knew it! They have gone to the theatre, look!”
“The Rocky Horror Show!?” Gwen exclaimed, “Jack’s taking Ianto to The Rocky Horror Show?”
“Well,” Tosh mused with a smile, “they do say it’s always the quiet ones.” Both girls dissolved into giggles.
----------
Tosh almost collided with Owen as he stopped dead just inside the door of the tourist office.
“What the bloody hell went on here last night?”
He stepped forwards, giving Tosh a chance to get out of the early morning chill, and gingerly picked up something that had been draped across the desk. Stepping to one side Tosh couldn’t help but grin as she took in both the horrified expression on his face and the incredibly pink feather boa between his thumb and forefinger.
It wasn’t the only thing out of place in the usually immaculate room: there were leaflets scattered across the floor where someone had obviously collided with a display and a sparkly top hat lay on the floor by the secret door into the main Hub.
Once through the door a trail of multicoloured feathers led them down to the cog door in front of which lay an oversized high-heel and a corset Tosh instantly recognised from the night before.
“Oh God,” Owen groaned, “they’d better not be…” But as they moved into the main room there was no-one to be seen, just more feathers scattered along the path to Jack’s office and a suspicious looking collection of bottles on the small table by the sofa.
“Hey!” Owen huffed, moving over to inspect the labels. “This is that stuff that came through the rift! You remember? That stuff Jack told us was in no way intended for human consumption, cheeky beggar was keeping it all to himself!”
Tosh’s laugh drew him across to Jack’s firmly shut and shuttered office where a sheet of scrawl-covered paper was tacked to the door.
Dearest Tosh, Owen, Gwen
By the time you read this we will probably be dead horribly hung-over.
If the world attempts to end please persuade it to do so quietly.
Coffee and painkillers will be much appreciated.
Yours
Frank and Rocky.
Owen stared at the note for a moment before turning to Tosh with a glint in his eyes.
"What's the betting they forgot to delete the CCTV?"
[fin]