The ones we love always hurt us

[restless_jedi]

Okay, my sister in law came over (and later my brother) and we watched stupid tv and movies and had pizza and brownies. It helped I think.

Um. I am not sure I can talk about what happened without rambling on and getting repetitive, so I'm just gonna put it behind a

Comments

[escherzo]

Being over the internet always just feels useless. Because in the end, all I can really do is say I'm sorry you had to go through this, any of this, give an e-hug for good measure maybe. And that's not much.

But it's all I can do, so. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this shit. *hugs*

I'd say things can't get worse, but the last time that was said, well. So I'll just say I hope they get better, and hope that doesn't jinx it.

[restless_jedi]

*snort* How can things get worse? I get fired? Mom gets fired? A physical fire? Guns? Mikeyway dying suddenly and tragically? There are fucking few ways it can get worse.

Yeah. One reason I cried is everyone I know who would comfort me physically, hold me while I cry or whatever, is an internetfriend. It's not the same.

[escherzo]

There are. But if there are still ways it can, well.

It's not. That is the downside to doing most interaction online. No one to hug.

[amethystshard]

I'm so sorry that happened. *big hugs* I'm glad that someone was able to come over and sit with you.

Sounds very similar to what we went through when my brother was on drugs. You mentioned that her friends eyes were red, possibly from drugs? Do you know if your sister is taking any?

If she is having violent mood swings, as much as it hurts (because I know how much it hurts, going through it with my brother), try to avoid any situation where you might be alone with her. And never feel badly for not fighting back. She's your sister, of course you're not going to want to fight her. You're the better person for it. And, anyway, engaging her would just escalate things.

Also know that whatever is really going on, has nothing to do with you. I don't know what her history is (or yours, really), but of this I'm sure. She's acting out, because she's angry about something (and I mean something deeper than you calling her on her shit).

Has she had counseling? Sounds like she really needs it (though she'd probably only go kicking and

[restless_jedi]

I know she does pot. I hear her best friend does ecstasy. I did think my sister acted like she was on something. My brother went through her room tonight, threw out some paraphernalia: a pipe, an ash tray, some kind of drug he found - said it didn't smell like any marijuana he knows. I know they know people who do opium, I know they don't do heroin.

I know this now. I can remind myself now. But when I was younger... I just wanted to kill myself more for being such a coward, for being cowed by someone half my size. Even now, I worry I'd hurt her, nevermind that she does seem plenty strong.

I know she's acting out, has been for a long time and it just gets worse because our parents do nothing. That's what it is - abandonment/neglect by them, feeling they don't love her because they pay attention only to themselves.

She hasn't but she does and she won't go. She needs it so much. I hate that she has such an unhealthy coping mechanism for her issues.

[amethystshard]

I wish that I could offer some good advice. Unfortunately, with my brother, after he started getting violent, my parents finally had to cut him loose. Told him that they loved him, that when he was ready to get help they would be there, get him into a clinic, but until then he couldn't live at home. We we're lucky, eventually he hit bottom, realized that wasn't what he wanted for himself, and got himself straight. As much as we tried to reach him before then, you just can't force help on someone who doesn't want it.

[restless_jedi]

I know. We're about at that point. Maybe something else, mom's gonna try a couple other things first, but she's also changing the locks on my sister, not giving her a key.

[chebonne]

You already know my feelings on the matter. *hugs* I'm so sorry, sweetie.

[restless_jedi]

Yeah... *hugs*

[samazon13]

Hey darlin, I'm so sorry to hear this, to hear you hurt like this. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but the problems in my family always run in the opposite direction - we are more for icy silences than acting out

[restless_jedi]

Today I was more angry than sad. Progress, I think. We used to be the silent type. Silent escapists. She had to break trend.

I do doubt she'll go - she's said no several times. I'm not sure I can afford to go though. As long as I remember what I know about my own strength, I'll be fine.

I worry even defense like that, she'd turn against me. But you'd know better than I would.

Thanks.

[samazon13]

Peaceful warrior is not an oxymoron. And I'm a firm believer that everyone, especially women, should know the basics of how to defend themselves. But that's my soapbox, so only listen if it sounds like truth to you and for you.

Hugs,
Samazon