elephants in the living room can't always be ignored

[researchgrrrl]

For me, as an archaeologist, context is everything. Even when not excavating, you'll find I offer to the best of my ability a context for everything from meta about a fanmix to my cheerfully geeky take on random fannish things, and even in my cracked-out entries on science and history. I make this point and provide these links at the outset of

Comments

[namastenancy]

I am an incest survivor and I back you up all the way. To this day, I can't read or watch stories about incest or rape and I find the taste for violence around those things truly disturbing.

namaste!

[researchgrrrl]

You're absolutely amazing. Thank you for this and for being my friend.

[tiferet]

As someone who has written a fair amount of dubious consent and incest fic (my current OTP is fraternal incest), I back her up, but I back her up because of the real person aspect, not because of any feeling that it is wrong to write dub-con or incest fic, but because of the involvement of real people.

It is my experience that many survivors feel as you do. But it is also my experience, and I've been writing this type of fic for a very long time, that there are a great many survivors who love non-con or 'cest fic, and write and read and enjoy it--for a wide variety of reasons ranging from personal catharsis to the fact that these fantasies are wholly unlike their experiences and various other statements all over the map. I personally feel that the OP is drawing a line between fiction and fantasy that I can agree with. Your response doesn't seem to be acknowledging that line.

[namastenancy]

I draw the line for myself for who else can I speak for? Since you don't know me, why should my ideas or opinions matter to you or why should you expect me to understand and approve your fiction? Frankly, I find all the careful reasons for rape/torture/violence in fiction and fic in both fandom and real life to be a bit disingenious. Write whatever you please - as of course you have every right to -- but don't expect me to find it sexy, read it or find it anything other than just another expression of some pretty disturbing ideas around sexuality.

[slodwick]

I am bowled over by not only your strength in the aftermath of something so unbelievably horrible, but also by your bravery at putting yourself out there like this, taking this risk. I admire you and respect your point of view, and even if I didn't agree with you ONE HUNDRED PERCENT (I do), I think you presented your case fairly, intelligently and honestly, and there's nothing more anyone can ask of you. Well-said and well-done.

[researchgrrrl]

Thank you. I know this sort of subject is a sensitive spot in so many ways for so many people -- and not just me and not just for the reasons I happen to have. I don't expect to change anyone's mind -- that's not the point. I had to write this because my conscience has been riding me and because I can't go back in time to save the person I had been from that rape. All I can do is not let what I went through be for nothing.

Crap. Okay. Now I'm getting all teary and stuff. Heh. Anyway. Thank you for the kind words and the support. Just...thank you. :)

[ngaio]

Basically just here to say 'yes', and that I created/posted about my own reaction to a published rape story today so that's a freaky coincidence!

Also my reaction to RPF is that I like it as unrealistic as possible! OK, not that bad, but, for a while there was a trend in LotRips to show Dom Monaghan (sp?) as lost in Hollywood, ditto Orlando Bloom, and in popslash to show (mainly Chris') depressive reactions to the group going on hiatus, or Lance's reaction to not going into space ... and while they are valid, and possibly close to the truth, interpretations, it feels intrusive and unpleasant.

So yeah, basically, just here to say 'I agree'!

[researchgrrrl]

I just read your review. You left fantastic feedback and thought things through just beautifully.

Thank you so much popping by to offer a supportive shout-out. I appreciate it so much.

[brynwulf]

Wow, this has been posted for at least 30 minutes and no one has commented yet. I actually hope it is because everyone is thinking about their replies rather than just shooting from the hip. But, I do hope to see something here

[researchgrrrl]

Thank you. I made peace with the fact that some people will agree, some won't, and some will be indifferent. I have no intention of making this any sort of personal crusade or whatever. This just happens to be one particular point that matters a hell of a lot to me

[dotfic]

Wow, you did that so articulately. You're a brave, smart amazing woman.

This isn't about RPS or RPF. This is about rape and attitudes towards it.

[researchgrrrl]

This started out as a reply to you. Without your note this morning, I don't know that I would have had the catalyst I needed for my thoughts on this to finally pull together. Thank you for that. Having help with finding the words I need to say is always a gift.

I'll drop you a line later tonight. I'm still a little wobbly from this. :)

[dotfic]

*wibbles at you*