I'm not going to think about him

[reogulus]

title: I'm not going to think about him
pairing: Mark/Eduardo
author: reogulus 
rating: G, with homosexual undertones
wordcount:  ~600
disclaimer: Not mine, not true, not used for profit.
notes: Inspired by I'm not going to think about her from Tales of Mere Existence created by Levni Yilmaz. (One of the few YouTube videos that made me cry, ever.)





I’m not going to think about his frayed GAP hoodies and his worn fuck-you flip-flops.

I’m not going to think about how his voice became hoarse from dehydration and fatigue after a coding tear.

I’m not going to think about the way his sweaty curls clung to his cheeks after fencing practices.

I’m not going to think about the fish tank he kept in Kirkland that only had one fish.

I’m not going to think about how he never cleaned up the scattered beer bottle caps on the floor.

I’m not going to think about how he always wore mismatched socks because there wasn’t time to find the missing one.

I’m not going to think about how I had to share my bed with him from time to time because my dorm was closer to the CS lab.

I’m not going to think about how he owned only one dress shirt, but it was ill-fitting and he treated it like sleepwear.

I’m not going to think about the time when he was drunk and slow-danced with me at an AEPi party.

I’m not going to think about the time when he told me I was the first person in his life who he could call his best friend.

I’m not going to think about the wall of thick theory books on computer programming that he hoarded from the Internet.

I’m not going to think about how he was really good at making s’mores.

I’m not going to think about how we had an inside joke that we’ll get married at The Memorial Church at Harvard if, by the time gay marriage is legalized in every state of America, we’re still single.

I’m not going to think about how I liked to hang out at Kirkland because I genuinely felt bad for how much he sucked at taking care of himself.

I’m not going to think about how he smirked at my cuff links.

I’m not going to think about how his eyelids folded into three layers when he was really tired.

I’m not going to think about the time when I had a really bad cold he bought NyQuil for me.

I’m not going to think about how I once mapped out the callus on his hands in my head.

I’m not going to think about the way he licked powdered sugar off his fingers when he ate crumb cake.

I’m not going to think about how I started to like classic literature because of him.

I’m not going to think about how he believed me when I said I would be a better man than my father.

I’m not going to think about how I bought him Halo for his birthday but Dustin ended up playing it most of the time.

I’m not going to think about when Facebook went live, it felt like we were going to change the world together.

I’m not going to think about the way he looked me in the eyes every time he said I need you.

I’m not going to think about the day my assistant gave me a UPS package with my NorthFace jacket in it.

I’m not going to think about the 8000 miles I put between me and him by moving to Singapore.

I’m not going to think about how at Harvard I was the one who bought him dinner most of the time and now that we both have enough money to buy fancy meals for a lifetime the last time we sat at the same table was when I sued him for what I'll never get back.