I did not just watch that...
I have just watched the slashiest episode of television I have ever seen. It may be the slashiest episode ever made.
We have been watching a reshowing of a 2007 series called Moonight. It is a vampire show (oh stop groaning, no one sparkles) about (surprise, surprise) a vampire detective. Mick was turned in the 50's. I know, no way did he have hair that long in that era, even if he was a musician. The show is...kinda bad. The acting is all over the place and in the earliest episodes the writing is just awful.
Mick watches over Beth, and has this big booming epic love thing. He saved her as a child and kept watch over her (from afar) as she grew up. I know, the ick, it burns. The show is all about the, 'oh noes, we cannot consummate' because see, Mick has a tendency to bite when he...er..cough...finishes. (this is canon - see, guy vampires discuss these things with each other)
Mick's best friend is the very old (but ever eternally young) Josef. (I am almost sure he spells it that way-but don't quote me) Josef likes pretty women, preferably those that share his blood type and the show parades them around, scantily dressed, all the time.
Which makes this episode (Fated to Pretend) even more slashy.
Mick is human (super long story) and Josef has to bite him to turn him back into a vampire so Mick can save Beth from the evil plastic surgeon vampire (oh please, like I could make this up).
The entire sequence is...Josef is supposed to stare at Mick's neck as if just realizing, 'Hey, Mick smells like lunch'. Instead the look is...'whoa, Mick smells like sex and why have I not noticed this before'. Then of course Mick talks Josef into biting him and er...I have no idea how the following scenes made it on tv. See, the vampires don't have to bite on the neck...but of course Josef does and someone needs to tell the actors their 'biting, getting bit' faces look more like 'this is the best sex I've had in ages faces.'
Then Mick sucks on Josef's arm (lots of touching and sucking in this scene) and even my husband is looking a little wild eyed at this point. (poor dear, he doesn't like to watch the boykissing)
After this they both seem really high and go rescue Beth. Remember Beth?
Seriously, this was the slashiest thing I have ever seen on TV and I really wanna go watch it again.