so this teacher is talking to her class about whales and this smartalic little kid rasies her hand and asks 'can whales eat people?' The teacher says 'no, there necks are to small.' The kid says 'but i read in the bible that a whale ate jonah.' The teacher says 'no, there necks are to small and that`s just a story in a book.' the girl says 'well when i die and heaven I`ll ask Jonah.' The teacher says 'how do you know hw didn`t go to hell, then you can`t ask him!?' The kid says 'well than you ask him.'
Here is my joke~frostyfaucetJanuary 13 2010, 03:29:24 UTC
A British, Frenchman and Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden:
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They`re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and they are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the
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so this teacher is talking to her class about whales and this smartalic little kid rasies her hand and asks 'can whales eat people?'
The teacher says 'no, there necks are to small.' The kid says 'but i read in the bible that a whale ate jonah.' The teacher says 'no, there necks are to small and that`s just a story in a book.' the girl says 'well when i die and heaven I`ll ask Jonah.' The teacher says 'how do you know hw didn`t go to hell, then you can`t ask him!?'
The kid says 'well than you ask him.'
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I’m wondering is it them or me.
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He sustained serious head and neck injuries and a severe concussion.
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"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They`re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and they are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
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http://www.funnyjunkz.com/funny-jokes/polish-divorce/
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What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the
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