Lost, "Liars", Jack/Juliet

[renna_esprit]

Title: Liars
Author: Renna, renna_esprit
Fandom: Lost
Rating: PG
Characters: Jack/Juliet
Spoilers: after “Every Man for Himself”
Disclaimer: not mine
Word count: about 1740
Special thanks to Toestastegood for beta :)

Lie is the greatest invention of the humanity

Comments

[msspell]

Uh, hi! ^^

OK, first of all: I really love what you did here. The images you created were really beautiful, pungent. The tone is great, too. It's Jack and it's Juliet right there.

But (this is constructive criticism!) it could use some revision. There are some problems with grammar and orthography that end up messing with the flow of your text. I'm not saying this to put you down or something, it's because I really liked your story and I'd like to help you improving it. :)

I suggest you get a beta-reader to proof-read the story, I could do that if you wanted (though I myself am not a native English speaker; prepositions hate me XD).

And keep up! The more we write, the better it gets. :D

[renna_esprit]

Oh, thank you so much :) I'll be really glad if you beta it!

And thank you for the feedback *smile*