Sirius Black's Guide to Being Not Gay - 3/4
Title: Sirius Black's Guide to Being Not Gay
Summary: Sirius Black is not gay, damn it.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: I lurves me some sneaky!Remus. :D
Never bottom.
It was several satisfying weeks later when Remus approached him with a request.
“What?” Sirius asked blankly.
Remus took a deep breath and glanced around the half-full common room. “I said, next time I want to be the one, er, topping.”
“But…,” Sirius said, trying to comprehend what Remus was asking. “You know I don’t like that.”
“I know,” Remus said quickly. “But I think it might be different with me.”
Sirius frowned. “How could it be different when I’ve never let anybody-,”
“You tried it yourself, right?” Remus reminded him.
“Yeah,” Sirius answered uncomfortably. “But-,”
“Do you trust me?” Remus asked him.
“Of course,” Sirius answered immediately. “I’m just not sure-,”
“Sirius, please,” Remus said pleadingly. “I would never hurt you, you know that. And I promise-I swear-that if you truly, honestly don’t like it once I’ve started then I’ll stop immediately.”
Sirius hesitated. “I’m not gay, Remus.”
“I know that,” Remus said. “I’m not trying to make you be, or whatever, I just wanted to try and give you more pleasure than what I have been.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Remus grinned. “You never know unless you try. Will you at least think about it?”
Sirius bit his lip and nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
Remus beamed. “Brilliant. Just…just let me know what you decide, alright?”
“Alright,” Sirius said.
Remus nodded. “Good. Great. I have rounds now.”
“Right,” Sirius said.
He watched Remus walk out of the common room and then sighed heavily, turning his gaze to the low, crackling fire. Remus hadn’t told him how long to take to think about it, but the sooner he got it over with the better. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine having Remus inside of him, but the picture just didn’t want to form.
So instead he thought about the technicalities of it. Remus wanted to take his prick and shove it up Sirius’s arse. Sirius fought back the initial fear and forced himself to really think about it. He was shocked to discover that it didn’t seem nearly as horrible as having one of those other boys from before do the same.
He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about that. Remus really enjoyed having Sirius inside of him, and what made his arsehole different from Sirius’s? Aside from the fact that it was Remus’s, of course, but was a gay boy’s built different from a not gay boy’s? Sirius very much doubted it, no matter his declarations otherwise.
So if Remus’s wasn’t technically any different than his own, and Remus enjoyed having a cock in his, then logically Sirius should be able to enjoy it as well. Right? And he knew Remus would never actually hurt him. He had promised to stop if Sirius wanted to, and Remus always kept the important promises. Sirius knew he wouldn’t break that one.
Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. He would give Remus a chance to prove to him that it could be enjoyable. Fear knotted itself into a heavy ball in his stomach, but he wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing. He trusted Remus, and it was really only fair, wasn’t it? It couldn’t be physically good for the other boy to always bottom.
Now all Sirius had to do was wait for Remus to get back from rounds. It would have to happen tonight before he lost his nerve. Unfortunately, Remus was doing the late rounds, and by the time he got back at midnight Sirius was a nervous wreck. He was still sitting on the couch, debating on running upstairs and pretending to sleep, when Remus climbed through the Portrait hole.
“You’re still up?” Remus asked in surprise.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, jumping up and nervously running a hand through his hair. “Yes-I’m-yes.”
Remus gave him an odd look. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” Sirius answered. “No. I mean yes.”
“Ok,” Remus said slowly.
“You can,” Sirius said before he could change his mind.
Remus blinked. “I can?”
Sirius nodded. “What you asked earlier. You can.”
Remus’s eyes widened. “Really? I didn’t expect-really?”
“Yes,” Sirius said firmly. “But it has to be tonight, right now, before I can talk myself out of it.”
Remus immediately grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the stairs to the dorm. Sirius allowed himself to be dragged, knowing it might be the only way he went upstairs at all. His heart was pounding out a frightened rhythm, and he swallowed hard to keep himself from being sick. Remus was not going to hurt him, it would be ok.
When they reached the dorm Remus paused, and Sirius knew he was making sure the other two were asleep. And then he was pulling Sirius over to his bed, pushing him onto it and climbing in afterward. One flick of his wand and the curtains closed around them; a second flick and the two of them were completely naked.
Sirius squeaked in surprise and not a little bit of fear. Remus smiled reassuringly at him and tossed his wand next to his pillow before leaning in and capturing Sirius lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Sirius felt himself relax as he tangled his tongue with Remus’s. This was familiar territory; there was nothing to be scared of.
After a while Remus broke the kiss and placed a hand on Sirius’s chest, gently pushing him back. “Lie down.”
Sirius swallowed hard but did as requested, lying on his back and staring up at Remus. The other boy was devouring his body with his eyes, absently running his tongue over his lips. The sight was incredibly hot, and Sirius felt his hard cock twitch in anticipation, despite his nerves. Remus noticed, and grinned wickedly at him.
Sirius watched as he leaned over and opened the top drawer of his bedside table, pulling out a bottle of something clear. “What’s that?”
Remus chuckled slightly. “This, Sirius, is a little something called lubrication.”
“Lubrication?” Sirius asked weakly.
“Yes,” Remus answered. “It helps the process along and makes it much less painful.”
Sirius stared at him. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me this before? All this time I’ve been-and you didn’t say one word!”
Remus shrugged. “I used a spell. It didn’t really matter, you didn’t hurt me.”
Sirius sighed; Remus would never admit to a bit of pain that wasn’t his transformation. “So why don’t you use a spell now?”
Remus shook his head. “I think the Muggle way would be better this time.”
“The Muggle way?” Sirius asked cautiously.
Remus grinned and set the bottle beside him on the bed before taking both Sirius’s legs in his hands and moving them up and apart, kneeling between them. Sirius flushed at being in this position, but Remus seemed to be enjoying the view. He picked up the bottle and poured some of the clear liquid on his fingers.
“Ready?” he asked.
Sirius closed his eyes tightly and nodded. His breath caught when he felt Remus spread his cheeks, and braced himself for the pain. It never came. He definitely felt one of Remus’s fingers slip inside of him, and Merlin it felt weird, but it didn’t hurt. He blinked his eyes open and stared at Remus in surprise. Remus chuckled at his expression.
“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said.
Sirius just stared at him as Remus started moving his finger inside of him, slowly pumping it in and out. He relaxed a bit, and after a while it started to feel less weird.
“I’m going to add a second now,” Remus said, sounding slightly breathless.
Sirius nodded again, this time more surely. The second finger was slightly more uncomfortable, but Remus went slowly and soon Sirius was really starting to enjoy the feeling. Remus smiled at him, and Sirius got the familiar feeling that the other boy knew what he was thinking.
“Alright?” Remus asked.
“Yeah,” Sirius said. “It’s not so bad.”
Remus grinned mischievously. “You’ll really enjoy this, then.”
Sirius didn’t get a chance to ask what before Remus’s fingers were twisting and touching something inside of him. Pleasure shot straight up his spine and he couldn’t help but arch his back as he cried out.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped, staring at Remus with wide eyes.
Remus laughed breathlessly. “My thoughts exactly. Three now.”
Sirius didn’t bother to answer; Remus was already adding a third finger, and this time it did hurt. He made a noise, and Remus glanced up at him with an apologetic look.
“I know,” he said. “I know, just-it’s only for a bit, it’ll get better.”
Sirius bit his lip, determined to give Remus the chance he wanted so badly-but if this hurt, what would Remus’s cock feel like? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. The pain started to recede, and Remus moved his fingers inside of him. Sirius suddenly moaned as that spot was touched again, and bucked his hips upward.
“Ok,” Remus said, his voice a bit strained. “Do you think you’re ready for the next part?”
Sirius wasn’t really sure if he was, but there was only one way to find out. “Yeah. Just…go slow, alright?”
“Of course I will,” Remus said. “I promised to stop if you really wanted me to, remember?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, unable to stop from smiling at the reminder.
Remus removed his fingers and Sirius felt oddly empty. He watched as the other boy reached for the bottle of lube again and coated his hardness with a generous amount. Remus leaned down and kissed him, hard, and Sirius felt his cock press against his entrance. He returned the kiss, hoping to distract himself from what was about to happen.
It worked-until Remus actually pushed inside. Sirius broke the kiss, gasping at the pain and automatically tensing.
“Relax,” Remus murmured into his ear. “Please, I’m sorry, I know it hurts, but if you can relax it won’t be so bad, please please relax, Sirius, please.”
Sirius clutched at Remus’s arms and closed his eyes, breathing hard and willing his body to do as Remus wanted.
Remus pushed further in. “Oh my fucking hell you’re tight.”
“Fuck,” Sirius whimpered in response.
“I know, I know,” Remus gasped out, sounding slightly desperate and pushing a little more in. “Sorry, I’m sorry, love you, I promise it’ll feel good soon, don’t give up now, please don’t stop me.”
Sirius was very much considering asking Remus to stop, and only the pleading in his voice made him hesitate. He’d only heard about half of what the other boy had said, but it was enough to get him to focus on his lower body and try to relax the muscles. It seemed to work; Remus slid the rest of the way in with a loud groan.
To Sirius’s surprise, Remus didn’t move. He could feel the other boy’s muscles quivering in an effort to keep himself still, and Sirius was grateful. It still hurt, but he was starting to adjust to the feel of a cock-Remus’s cock-filling him there. He opened his eyes and turned his head enough to look at Remus’s face beside his.
He smiled at the mixed look of utter bliss and tightly held control, and realized that the pain was beginning to fade. “I think-,” he started.
Remus opened his eyes, and Sirius’s breath caught at the look there. A warm feeling that had nothing to do with what they were doing bloomed in his chest. “I think,” he tried again with some effort, “that it would be ok if you tried to move now.”
“Oh, thank Merlin,” Remus breathed, making Sirius grin.
Remus slowly pulled half-way out and then carefully pushed back in. It was still a bit uncomfortable, but Sirius was more than happy to discover that it didn’t hurt nearly as bad. Remus continued his slow thrusting, and soon Sirius was starting to enjoy it. This surprised him immensely, but there was really no point in denying it.
“A little bit….a little bit harder,” he said.
Remus’s rhythm faltered and he looked at Sirius in surprise. “Really?”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. I mean, not too hard, but a little more would be ok. Actually-,”
“Actually?” Remus inquired after a brief pause.
Sirius flushed. “Do you think you could, er, hit that spot you did with your fingers?”
Remus grinned. He started thrusting again, harder now, and Sirius moaned happily. Remus kissed him again, and as their tongues tangled together he shifted inside of Sirius. The shift caused him to hit that wonderful spot, and Sirius cried out, the sound muffled by Remus’s mouth. He dug his fingers into the other boy’s shoulders, urging him on.
Remus pumped into him, hitting that spot again and then again, making Sirius writhe and buck with pleasure. He threw his head back and felt Remus’s hot mouth on his neck, gasping at the brush of teeth in combination with the thrust of cock inside him. When Remus wrapped a long-fingered hand around his hard prick he had to clench his teeth together to hold back a shout.
“Fuck, Remus,” he ground out. “I’m gonna-,”
Sirius came, harder than he believed possible, and for a very long moment the only things that existed in the world were Remus, above him and inside of him, and the pleasure crashing over him. And then Remus was bucking into him frantically, burying his face in Sirius’s neck. He thrust one last time, deep and hard, and Sirius could feel his cock pulsing as he came.
Remus collapsed fully on top of him, pulling out as he did so, and they lay like that for a long time. Neither spoke; Sirius was a bit in shock over what had just happened, and he would bet his leather jacket that Remus was, too. He could hardly believe that not only had he just been fucked up the arse, but he had enjoyed it.
Which made him think of something important.
“I’m still not gay.”
Remus was silent for three seconds longer, and then Sirius felt him shake with laughter, his breath hot against his neck.
“Of course not, Sirius. Of course not.”
~*~*~*~
Never get involved in a relationship.
Two months later Sirius was happier than he’d ever been. When he wasn’t in class, detention, or planning another prank with James he was with Remus. A lot of that time was spent shagging, but more and more was just the two of them talking, joking around, and just having fun in general. Technically those were things they already did, but now they felt different.
Sirius didn’t really like to think about why-and he refused to. He and Remus were having fun together, that was all. A mutual-often mind blowing-shagging, and nothing more. So it came as a complete surprise to him that Remus apparently felt differently. The two of them had just finished a very nice buggering when this was discovered.
“There’s a Hogsmeade trip this weekend,” Remus commented from beside Sirius.
“Mmmm,” Sirius agreed absently. “Yeah. I need to get some more dungbombs and vanishing ink.”
Remus chuckled. “For that prank, right? Anyway, I was thinking-hoping, maybe-that we could go on an actual date, too.”
Sirius blinked. “A date?”
Remus looked amused. “Yes, a date. You know, that thing where two people go out in public and spend time together?”
Sirius blinked again. “But…why?”
“Why not?” Remus asked him, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not like anybody else has to know it’s a date. We’ve been together for, what? Three or four months now?”
“Together?” Sirius repeated weakly.
Remus sat up. “Yes, Sirius, together. As in, we’re in a relationship together.”
Sirius stared at him for a minute, trying to comprehend what the other boy was saying. “Relationship?”
“Yes,” Remus said slowly. “You and me. Together. In a relationship.”
Sirius blinked again and then jumped out of bed, scrambling around for his clothes and throwing them on.
“Sirius?” Remus said, wary confusion in his voice.
“We’re not in a relationship,” Sirius said, keeping his eyes focused on his shirt buttons.
Remus was silent for a long moment. “We’re not?”
“No,” Sirius answered. “This isn’t a relationship. This is just something fun that we’re doing. Like-like your other fuck-mates you told me about.”
“Oh,” Remus said flatly. “I see.”
Sirius chanced glancing up at him, his stomach twisting at the blank look on Remus’s face. “We’re ok, right? I mean…I didn’t mean for there to be a misunderstanding, or whatever. We’re still friends, right?”
Remus got out of bed, grabbing his own clothes and dressing quicker than Sirius had ever seen him.
“Remus?” Sirius asked unsurely.
Remus finished tying his trainers and then stood, looking at Sirius coldly. “Yes, Sirius, we’re just friends. And since there is apparently no relationship at all between us, I’m sure you’ll be ok with me ending this…whatever the fuck it was.”
“Ending-,” Sirius began, not understanding. “What?”
Remus glared at him. “Let me make this very clear, so there won’t be any more misunderstandings between us. There shall be no more shagging that involves the two of us. No kissing, no touching, no cocks up arses, nothing. Do you understand that?”
“Is that really necessary?” Sirius asked, hating how desperate he sounded.
“Yes,” Remus said shortly. “It is.”
Sirius watched, numb with shock, as the other boy stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He stood like that for several minutes, denial prominent in his mind. When the truth finally slammed into him he had to take a deep, shuddering breath and sink down onto the bed behind him. Remus wasn’t his anymore.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asked the empty room.
The answer resounded loudly within his head: he had fucked up something important, and he wasn’t sure if he could fix it.
Part 4/4
Part 1/4
Part 2/4
Summary: Sirius Black is not gay, damn it.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: I lurves me some sneaky!Remus. :D
Never bottom.
It was several satisfying weeks later when Remus approached him with a request.
“What?” Sirius asked blankly.
Remus took a deep breath and glanced around the half-full common room. “I said, next time I want to be the one, er, topping.”
“But…,” Sirius said, trying to comprehend what Remus was asking. “You know I don’t like that.”
“I know,” Remus said quickly. “But I think it might be different with me.”
Sirius frowned. “How could it be different when I’ve never let anybody-,”
“You tried it yourself, right?” Remus reminded him.
“Yeah,” Sirius answered uncomfortably. “But-,”
“Do you trust me?” Remus asked him.
“Of course,” Sirius answered immediately. “I’m just not sure-,”
“Sirius, please,” Remus said pleadingly. “I would never hurt you, you know that. And I promise-I swear-that if you truly, honestly don’t like it once I’ve started then I’ll stop immediately.”
Sirius hesitated. “I’m not gay, Remus.”
“I know that,” Remus said. “I’m not trying to make you be, or whatever, I just wanted to try and give you more pleasure than what I have been.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Remus grinned. “You never know unless you try. Will you at least think about it?”
Sirius bit his lip and nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
Remus beamed. “Brilliant. Just…just let me know what you decide, alright?”
“Alright,” Sirius said.
Remus nodded. “Good. Great. I have rounds now.”
“Right,” Sirius said.
He watched Remus walk out of the common room and then sighed heavily, turning his gaze to the low, crackling fire. Remus hadn’t told him how long to take to think about it, but the sooner he got it over with the better. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine having Remus inside of him, but the picture just didn’t want to form.
So instead he thought about the technicalities of it. Remus wanted to take his prick and shove it up Sirius’s arse. Sirius fought back the initial fear and forced himself to really think about it. He was shocked to discover that it didn’t seem nearly as horrible as having one of those other boys from before do the same.
He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about that. Remus really enjoyed having Sirius inside of him, and what made his arsehole different from Sirius’s? Aside from the fact that it was Remus’s, of course, but was a gay boy’s built different from a not gay boy’s? Sirius very much doubted it, no matter his declarations otherwise.
So if Remus’s wasn’t technically any different than his own, and Remus enjoyed having a cock in his, then logically Sirius should be able to enjoy it as well. Right? And he knew Remus would never actually hurt him. He had promised to stop if Sirius wanted to, and Remus always kept the important promises. Sirius knew he wouldn’t break that one.
Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. He would give Remus a chance to prove to him that it could be enjoyable. Fear knotted itself into a heavy ball in his stomach, but he wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing. He trusted Remus, and it was really only fair, wasn’t it? It couldn’t be physically good for the other boy to always bottom.
Now all Sirius had to do was wait for Remus to get back from rounds. It would have to happen tonight before he lost his nerve. Unfortunately, Remus was doing the late rounds, and by the time he got back at midnight Sirius was a nervous wreck. He was still sitting on the couch, debating on running upstairs and pretending to sleep, when Remus climbed through the Portrait hole.
“You’re still up?” Remus asked in surprise.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, jumping up and nervously running a hand through his hair. “Yes-I’m-yes.”
Remus gave him an odd look. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” Sirius answered. “No. I mean yes.”
“Ok,” Remus said slowly.
“You can,” Sirius said before he could change his mind.
Remus blinked. “I can?”
Sirius nodded. “What you asked earlier. You can.”
Remus’s eyes widened. “Really? I didn’t expect-really?”
“Yes,” Sirius said firmly. “But it has to be tonight, right now, before I can talk myself out of it.”
Remus immediately grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the stairs to the dorm. Sirius allowed himself to be dragged, knowing it might be the only way he went upstairs at all. His heart was pounding out a frightened rhythm, and he swallowed hard to keep himself from being sick. Remus was not going to hurt him, it would be ok.
When they reached the dorm Remus paused, and Sirius knew he was making sure the other two were asleep. And then he was pulling Sirius over to his bed, pushing him onto it and climbing in afterward. One flick of his wand and the curtains closed around them; a second flick and the two of them were completely naked.
Sirius squeaked in surprise and not a little bit of fear. Remus smiled reassuringly at him and tossed his wand next to his pillow before leaning in and capturing Sirius lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Sirius felt himself relax as he tangled his tongue with Remus’s. This was familiar territory; there was nothing to be scared of.
After a while Remus broke the kiss and placed a hand on Sirius’s chest, gently pushing him back. “Lie down.”
Sirius swallowed hard but did as requested, lying on his back and staring up at Remus. The other boy was devouring his body with his eyes, absently running his tongue over his lips. The sight was incredibly hot, and Sirius felt his hard cock twitch in anticipation, despite his nerves. Remus noticed, and grinned wickedly at him.
Sirius watched as he leaned over and opened the top drawer of his bedside table, pulling out a bottle of something clear. “What’s that?”
Remus chuckled slightly. “This, Sirius, is a little something called lubrication.”
“Lubrication?” Sirius asked weakly.
“Yes,” Remus answered. “It helps the process along and makes it much less painful.”
Sirius stared at him. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me this before? All this time I’ve been-and you didn’t say one word!”
Remus shrugged. “I used a spell. It didn’t really matter, you didn’t hurt me.”
Sirius sighed; Remus would never admit to a bit of pain that wasn’t his transformation. “So why don’t you use a spell now?”
Remus shook his head. “I think the Muggle way would be better this time.”
“The Muggle way?” Sirius asked cautiously.
Remus grinned and set the bottle beside him on the bed before taking both Sirius’s legs in his hands and moving them up and apart, kneeling between them. Sirius flushed at being in this position, but Remus seemed to be enjoying the view. He picked up the bottle and poured some of the clear liquid on his fingers.
“Ready?” he asked.
Sirius closed his eyes tightly and nodded. His breath caught when he felt Remus spread his cheeks, and braced himself for the pain. It never came. He definitely felt one of Remus’s fingers slip inside of him, and Merlin it felt weird, but it didn’t hurt. He blinked his eyes open and stared at Remus in surprise. Remus chuckled at his expression.
“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said.
Sirius just stared at him as Remus started moving his finger inside of him, slowly pumping it in and out. He relaxed a bit, and after a while it started to feel less weird.
“I’m going to add a second now,” Remus said, sounding slightly breathless.
Sirius nodded again, this time more surely. The second finger was slightly more uncomfortable, but Remus went slowly and soon Sirius was really starting to enjoy the feeling. Remus smiled at him, and Sirius got the familiar feeling that the other boy knew what he was thinking.
“Alright?” Remus asked.
“Yeah,” Sirius said. “It’s not so bad.”
Remus grinned mischievously. “You’ll really enjoy this, then.”
Sirius didn’t get a chance to ask what before Remus’s fingers were twisting and touching something inside of him. Pleasure shot straight up his spine and he couldn’t help but arch his back as he cried out.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped, staring at Remus with wide eyes.
Remus laughed breathlessly. “My thoughts exactly. Three now.”
Sirius didn’t bother to answer; Remus was already adding a third finger, and this time it did hurt. He made a noise, and Remus glanced up at him with an apologetic look.
“I know,” he said. “I know, just-it’s only for a bit, it’ll get better.”
Sirius bit his lip, determined to give Remus the chance he wanted so badly-but if this hurt, what would Remus’s cock feel like? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. The pain started to recede, and Remus moved his fingers inside of him. Sirius suddenly moaned as that spot was touched again, and bucked his hips upward.
“Ok,” Remus said, his voice a bit strained. “Do you think you’re ready for the next part?”
Sirius wasn’t really sure if he was, but there was only one way to find out. “Yeah. Just…go slow, alright?”
“Of course I will,” Remus said. “I promised to stop if you really wanted me to, remember?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, unable to stop from smiling at the reminder.
Remus removed his fingers and Sirius felt oddly empty. He watched as the other boy reached for the bottle of lube again and coated his hardness with a generous amount. Remus leaned down and kissed him, hard, and Sirius felt his cock press against his entrance. He returned the kiss, hoping to distract himself from what was about to happen.
It worked-until Remus actually pushed inside. Sirius broke the kiss, gasping at the pain and automatically tensing.
“Relax,” Remus murmured into his ear. “Please, I’m sorry, I know it hurts, but if you can relax it won’t be so bad, please please relax, Sirius, please.”
Sirius clutched at Remus’s arms and closed his eyes, breathing hard and willing his body to do as Remus wanted.
Remus pushed further in. “Oh my fucking hell you’re tight.”
“Fuck,” Sirius whimpered in response.
“I know, I know,” Remus gasped out, sounding slightly desperate and pushing a little more in. “Sorry, I’m sorry, love you, I promise it’ll feel good soon, don’t give up now, please don’t stop me.”
Sirius was very much considering asking Remus to stop, and only the pleading in his voice made him hesitate. He’d only heard about half of what the other boy had said, but it was enough to get him to focus on his lower body and try to relax the muscles. It seemed to work; Remus slid the rest of the way in with a loud groan.
To Sirius’s surprise, Remus didn’t move. He could feel the other boy’s muscles quivering in an effort to keep himself still, and Sirius was grateful. It still hurt, but he was starting to adjust to the feel of a cock-Remus’s cock-filling him there. He opened his eyes and turned his head enough to look at Remus’s face beside his.
He smiled at the mixed look of utter bliss and tightly held control, and realized that the pain was beginning to fade. “I think-,” he started.
Remus opened his eyes, and Sirius’s breath caught at the look there. A warm feeling that had nothing to do with what they were doing bloomed in his chest. “I think,” he tried again with some effort, “that it would be ok if you tried to move now.”
“Oh, thank Merlin,” Remus breathed, making Sirius grin.
Remus slowly pulled half-way out and then carefully pushed back in. It was still a bit uncomfortable, but Sirius was more than happy to discover that it didn’t hurt nearly as bad. Remus continued his slow thrusting, and soon Sirius was starting to enjoy it. This surprised him immensely, but there was really no point in denying it.
“A little bit….a little bit harder,” he said.
Remus’s rhythm faltered and he looked at Sirius in surprise. “Really?”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah. I mean, not too hard, but a little more would be ok. Actually-,”
“Actually?” Remus inquired after a brief pause.
Sirius flushed. “Do you think you could, er, hit that spot you did with your fingers?”
Remus grinned. He started thrusting again, harder now, and Sirius moaned happily. Remus kissed him again, and as their tongues tangled together he shifted inside of Sirius. The shift caused him to hit that wonderful spot, and Sirius cried out, the sound muffled by Remus’s mouth. He dug his fingers into the other boy’s shoulders, urging him on.
Remus pumped into him, hitting that spot again and then again, making Sirius writhe and buck with pleasure. He threw his head back and felt Remus’s hot mouth on his neck, gasping at the brush of teeth in combination with the thrust of cock inside him. When Remus wrapped a long-fingered hand around his hard prick he had to clench his teeth together to hold back a shout.
“Fuck, Remus,” he ground out. “I’m gonna-,”
Sirius came, harder than he believed possible, and for a very long moment the only things that existed in the world were Remus, above him and inside of him, and the pleasure crashing over him. And then Remus was bucking into him frantically, burying his face in Sirius’s neck. He thrust one last time, deep and hard, and Sirius could feel his cock pulsing as he came.
Remus collapsed fully on top of him, pulling out as he did so, and they lay like that for a long time. Neither spoke; Sirius was a bit in shock over what had just happened, and he would bet his leather jacket that Remus was, too. He could hardly believe that not only had he just been fucked up the arse, but he had enjoyed it.
Which made him think of something important.
“I’m still not gay.”
Remus was silent for three seconds longer, and then Sirius felt him shake with laughter, his breath hot against his neck.
“Of course not, Sirius. Of course not.”
~*~*~*~
Never get involved in a relationship.
Two months later Sirius was happier than he’d ever been. When he wasn’t in class, detention, or planning another prank with James he was with Remus. A lot of that time was spent shagging, but more and more was just the two of them talking, joking around, and just having fun in general. Technically those were things they already did, but now they felt different.
Sirius didn’t really like to think about why-and he refused to. He and Remus were having fun together, that was all. A mutual-often mind blowing-shagging, and nothing more. So it came as a complete surprise to him that Remus apparently felt differently. The two of them had just finished a very nice buggering when this was discovered.
“There’s a Hogsmeade trip this weekend,” Remus commented from beside Sirius.
“Mmmm,” Sirius agreed absently. “Yeah. I need to get some more dungbombs and vanishing ink.”
Remus chuckled. “For that prank, right? Anyway, I was thinking-hoping, maybe-that we could go on an actual date, too.”
Sirius blinked. “A date?”
Remus looked amused. “Yes, a date. You know, that thing where two people go out in public and spend time together?”
Sirius blinked again. “But…why?”
“Why not?” Remus asked him, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not like anybody else has to know it’s a date. We’ve been together for, what? Three or four months now?”
“Together?” Sirius repeated weakly.
Remus sat up. “Yes, Sirius, together. As in, we’re in a relationship together.”
Sirius stared at him for a minute, trying to comprehend what the other boy was saying. “Relationship?”
“Yes,” Remus said slowly. “You and me. Together. In a relationship.”
Sirius blinked again and then jumped out of bed, scrambling around for his clothes and throwing them on.
“Sirius?” Remus said, wary confusion in his voice.
“We’re not in a relationship,” Sirius said, keeping his eyes focused on his shirt buttons.
Remus was silent for a long moment. “We’re not?”
“No,” Sirius answered. “This isn’t a relationship. This is just something fun that we’re doing. Like-like your other fuck-mates you told me about.”
“Oh,” Remus said flatly. “I see.”
Sirius chanced glancing up at him, his stomach twisting at the blank look on Remus’s face. “We’re ok, right? I mean…I didn’t mean for there to be a misunderstanding, or whatever. We’re still friends, right?”
Remus got out of bed, grabbing his own clothes and dressing quicker than Sirius had ever seen him.
“Remus?” Sirius asked unsurely.
Remus finished tying his trainers and then stood, looking at Sirius coldly. “Yes, Sirius, we’re just friends. And since there is apparently no relationship at all between us, I’m sure you’ll be ok with me ending this…whatever the fuck it was.”
“Ending-,” Sirius began, not understanding. “What?”
Remus glared at him. “Let me make this very clear, so there won’t be any more misunderstandings between us. There shall be no more shagging that involves the two of us. No kissing, no touching, no cocks up arses, nothing. Do you understand that?”
“Is that really necessary?” Sirius asked, hating how desperate he sounded.
“Yes,” Remus said shortly. “It is.”
Sirius watched, numb with shock, as the other boy stalked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He stood like that for several minutes, denial prominent in his mind. When the truth finally slammed into him he had to take a deep, shuddering breath and sink down onto the bed behind him. Remus wasn’t his anymore.
“What the fuck just happened?” he asked the empty room.
The answer resounded loudly within his head: he had fucked up something important, and he wasn’t sure if he could fix it.
Part 4/4
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