The Afterlife Bar and Grille - Scarecrow
Yes… thank you Doctor… I’m sure you’ll find a new post around here to pick up with your therapies right where you left off… good luck to you!
Now, next we have - ah, we have two people. #5945 and 5946… the Jorgensons, folks!
Hello, my name is Harley and this is my wife, Stacey.
Hello.
We used to live in the nicest little town called Burkitsville. It was known for its apples, you see. Every year we had the best harvest for miles around - I’m willing to bet it was the best anywhere. It all has to do with hard work, care for community, and of course the Vanir.
Yes, the Vanir has smiled down on us every year with a bountiful harvest. And, all he asks in return is a simple sacrifice.
One man and one woman.
Yes, that’s right. Just one couple a year and the Vanir blesses us with abundance.
And, we have never had a problem fulfilling our part of the bargain before. It seems that, every year, a nice young couple happens upon the town.
We treat them like royalty - because, to us, they are. These two people are giving their lives so that all of the townsfolk can thrive. We even feed them with the food of our god - apples.
And, then, we just make certain that their car will stop near the orchard.
But, this year we hit a bit of a snag.
Yes, some young punk came into town. We tried to get rid of him. The sheriff even ran him out of town.
But he came back. And worse, he stole the Vanir’s sacrifice!
Lucky for us, the kid was careless. While trying to find out information about the Vanir, he spoke with one of our local professors. The sheriff was tipped off and managed to get the upper hand on this interloper.
Well, we were halfway to our salvation - this young man would be the perfect candidate for our sacrifice. The only problem was that all of the women in town seemed to have attachments. Many were married or had a significant other. And the ladies who had lost their husbands still had children to care for.
Our time was running out. We had to make a decision. It was difficult, but we realized that there was only one young woman that fit the bill. Our niece, Emily. She was unattached and had no one depending on her. We tried to raise her as our own when her parents died, but sometimes the good of the town outweighs the good of the one. The decision was made.
That night, we took them to the orchard. Knowing that they wouldn’t stay willingly, we bound them so they couldn’t escape. Still, we were not sure how the young man was able to elude the Vanir the first time, so some of us stayed around to guard the borders of the orchard.
And it was a good thing we did! Another young man came out of nowhere and released them! We were able to stop them from leaving, but…
You know, it didn’t occur to me until I saw the hook shoot through Harley’s chest just where we had gone wrong. You see, the thing about these Norse gods - they are very specific about their sacrifices. Our couple became a trio… and the rest of the guards were all men.
Ohhh… {slaps his forehead} I get it now! I had been wondering about that since we got here - we were the only man-woman couple left in the orchard!
Yep.
Well, I can’t say that I am happy about the way things turned out, but at least the town is safe… What? Emily did what?
Well that little…
The Jorgensons, everyone! Great story - hey, why don’t you both help yourselves to a slice of pie? I suggest the blueberry…