9 to 5 Grind

[reimars]

If you get where the strangler plot is heftily borrowed from, I will totally fangirl your taste in manga. Not so much if you get Kiba's joke, though that still earns obscure series points.


"Hinata, seriously," Sakura said as she gazed into the refrigerator, "I know you don't want to be ungrateful to your clients, but it's time to throw these Christmas cakes out. You already took pictures of all the pretty ones, anyway, right?"

"Christmas cake?" Kiba called from the main room. "Chikuwaaaaa!"

"It was only funny the first eight times," Sakura called back, and he laughed.

"I know," Hinata agreed, moving around the table and coming up beside Sakura. She toyed with the edge of her sleeve. "I just couldn't bring myself to eat the rest. . . ."

Sakura made an unsurprised noise. "Given how many johns must have wanted you to eat at least a little with them, I don't think anyone is going to blame you. I'm impressed you could still look at them."

Hinata chuckled slightly. "Okay. . . . Should I freeze them, or. . . ?"

"It's pretty cold," Sakura replied. "I don't think they'll attract anything before Tuesday's pickup."

"Okay," Hinata repeated.

Sakura reached out and broke off one of the marzipan trees on the nearest cake before popping it into her mouth. She made a face a moment later. "Ick, stale."

Hinata nodded. "I'll throw them out."

"Nah, just ask Sasuke to do it. It's not like he's going to have anything else to do tonight," Sakura added, looking over at her as she pulled out the carton of eggs, "and you need to eat and get ready."

"That's the last of it," Kiba said, tossing the wreath into the box beside him. He jumped off the stepstool and moved to get the duct tape.

"Finally," Sasuke muttered, hefting the other two boxes that he'd already taped.

"And I am outta here!" Kiba continued cheerfully when he was done, before dropping the tape on top of the box and stretching. "See you tomorrow."

Sasuke shifted his grip on the boxes and looked over at him. "You're off today?"

"It's New Year's Eve," Kiba replied. "Nobody's gonna be in the house tonight. Even Gaara's working at a club. You just have to be around to beat up any drunks that loiter on our premises."

"Really?"

Kiba gave him a mildly disturbed look over his shoulder. "No, they might be customers other days. Just look threatening. Maybe yell a lot." He paused to consider. "Unless they break anything. You can probably manhandle them away if that happens."

"Duly noted," Sasuke said, before shifting his grip on the boxes again and heading to the storage room.

Naruto hooked a finger through the collar of his tie and tugged on it, earning his hand another smack from Sakura. "Stop that."

"I don't liiiiike ties," he whined. "They make me think of Gaara's asphyxiation kink."

"Could've gone my whole life not knowing that," Sakura replied dryly, brushing down the back his suit jacket. "Just wear it long enough to convince Jiraiya you're a responsible adult and we're running things just fine."

"I'm gonna have to spike his drink if I want him to think I'm a responsible adult," Naruto pointed out.

"I would actually advocate that if I didn't think he'd sic his yakuza friends on you."

"Nah, he likes me more than that," he replied, tugging on the lapels of the suit irritably. "But I'd feel bad for the guy I bought the mickey from."

Sakura took a couple steps back and scrutinized him. ". . . Well, you look your age, at least. Maybe if you used the whole bottle of gel. . . ."

"No more!" he retorted, covering his hair with both hands and causing Sakura to squawk at him for messing it up.

"Thank you for this, Neji-san," Hinata said, glancing over her shoulder.

He tucked the edge of the obi's fabric under the drum knot and straightened it. "You're welcome."

Hinata adjusted her breasts over the top of the sash, and then pulled at the collar lightly to guarantee that it was low enough on her neck.

Neji eyed the knot disapprovingly. "You should use at least a little padding," he told her. "The cotton will hold longer than silk, but it'll flatten after you retie it a few times."

"I'd just mess it up," she murmured, turning around. "It's better if I keep it as simple as possible."

"Mm," he replied, eying her front. After a few more moments, he nodded once.

Hinata wanted to adjust the collar of his own kimono, just as a return gesture, but Neji was meticulous and she was worried that he might take it as an insult.

"You're wearing them too high," Ino said, glancing at Sakura's legs.

She made a face. "I don't like having the edges show. It looks cheap."

Ino gave her a disbelieving look. "Sakura. We're whores."

"Men pay today for a pretty girl to show off as well as sex," she replied. "If you're too obvious, they're going to go for someone else."

"You and your demure act," Ino retorted under her breath, tugging down on her stocking slightly so that the black lace was just at the edge of her short, loose skirt.

"Are you sure that's enough?" Naruto asked, giving the small duffle bag Gaara had over his shoulder a dubious look.

"Yeah," he replied. "They've got some good equipment there."

"Okay," Naruto replied. "--Just don't break anything this time."

Gaara gave him a vaguely frustrated look. "I won't."

"Seriously, how did you manage to bust a swing?"

"I can show you," he replied.

Naruto pursed his mouth for a moment, considering. Then he shrugged and said, "Okay. Sounds like it'll be memorable."

Gaara smirked faintly.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, and then patted him on the shoulder. "Be careful, alright?"

"I am."

"Especially with any blood stuff," he added. "I heard bloodplay's starting to be the most dangerous aspect."

Gaara nodded. "I am," he repeated.


Sasuke had nothing better to do than watch TV that evening--leaving the curtain pulled and keeping the sound down so he could hear if anyone knocked--so when the news broke, he was the second to learn about it.

The first was Sai, who'd been working in the area and had hung around when the police and ambulance arrived.

Sakura's phone was muted by her purse, but it was still audible in the café. She gave the john a sheepish look. "One second, sorry. . . ."

He nodded. "That's fine!"

She had to move over to the window a few tables from the booth before the reception kicked in, and after that, she had to pull the phone away slightly because Naruto was yelling her name.

"What?!" she replied. "I'm here, I'm here, sorry, but I had to--"

"Are you in the love hotel district?" he interrupted.

She frowned slightly. "No, I'm in down in--"

"Get back to the house. Is Ino with you?"

"No," she answered, starting to shift uncomfortably. "What's happened?"

"A prostitute was killed a little while ago in a hotel," he replied, and Sakura gasped and clenched the back of the booth nearest her. She noticed the john start to stand and come over.

"What? How?!"

"I don't know the details, I'm heading back. Call Ino and get home, okay? Immediately."

"Okay," she said, "okay, I'll--okay."

"I'm glad you're safe," Naruto added, quieter, before hanging up.

Sakura closed the phone and then opened it again, cycling through the addresses for Ino's number. She tilted slightly to face Lee, who'd stopped a little distance away. "I'm sorry, something's happened. . . . I'll give you back your money in a second, just let me finish this."

He shook his head. "Keep it. Is everything okay?"

"I hope so," she mumbled, listening as Ino's phone rang a third time. She caught a hold of herself a moment later and looked up at the clock on the side wall. "Are you sure? You had another half-hour left. . . ."

He nodded. "It's okay."

The phone went to voice message, so Sakura hung up and hit redial. She kissed him briefly as she slid past towards the door. "Thank you, then!"

He still looked concerned, and he'd seemed like a nice guy, so she felt a little bad about just walking--okay, jogging--out the door like that; but mostly she felt increasingly freaked about the fact that Ino wasn't picking up.

I don't know the details.

The third time she called, Ino picked up on the second ring.

"I'm busy," she hissed quietly.

"Thank god," Sakura exhaled, and then, "finish him and go home. Naruto's orders."

"What?"

"A prostitute's been killed in the hotel district," she said, and heard Ino suck a breath through her teeth. "Head back as soon as possi--where are you? I'll wait for you."

Ino gave her the address, said she'd be out in five minutes, and hung up. Sakura decided she'd make Naruto count the expense as a business expenditure and immediately flagged a taxi.


It wasn't one of Jiraiya's girls, as it turned out. It wasn't even a rival's, outside of their territory--it was a nineteen-year-old who belonged to a small phone group.

She was the first.

When the second woman was killed, again in the hotel district, Ino came back with the news that the city's organized gang was involved.

"Apparently she was one of the members' girlfriend," she said, clutching the juice can tightly. Naruto was crouched on the floor in front of the couch where she was sitting, watching her. "I just told them pretty much what the news had . . . but one guy's phone went off while they were asking, and then they left."

"Did you get a good look at them?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, nodding slightly. "The other guy even gave me his name. They were really upfront about it--he said they were gonna make sure we could do our work without having to be afraid of perverts."

"I heard she was the girlfriend of a friend of the gang leader," Sai said from where he was leaning against the other side of the couch.

"Same thing in the end," Naruto replied, rocking back onto his feet and dragging a hand through his hair. "And better them than the yakuza. Don't mention this unless I tell you or one of Jiraiya's asks, okay?"

Ino nodded.

By the time the third woman was strangled to death, the city's government was arranging an emergency meeting to change the prostitution regulations.

Naruto didn't get much sleep after that.


One day after the new regulations were voted on, Sasuke came downstairs to find papers strewn over the table. Naruto was in a chair, sleeping with his arms folded on top of them.

He made coffee, set one cup of it on the counter so that it wouldn't spill on any of the papers, and then took another back upstairs.

He couldn't remember if Sakura and Ino were still sleeping in separate rooms or not, or which one was Sakura kept as hers if they were, so finally he just knocked on Neji's door.

Neji didn't even bother with harsh comments when he opened the door. He just gave Sasuke an irritated look.

"Naruto's sleeping on the table with a bunch of papers," Sasuke told him.

"So?" Neji replied.

He shrugged and headed back to his room. Once he'd shut the door behind him, Neji exhaled and went to put on his shoes.

"Wake up," Neji said, before pushing some of the papers to the side and setting the coffee cup down.

"Huh?" Naruto mumbled, lifting his head.

"And don't set important documents on the table," Neji added. "It wasn't wiped down yesterday. Or the day before."

"Shit. What time is it?"

"A little after eleven."

Naruto swore under his breath. "Overslept. . . ."

"It's not even noon."

"Gotta get on a normal schedule," Naruto replied. "Hearings tomorrow about reversing these." He made a sweeping gesture at the sheaf of paper.

Neji gave the documents a skeptical look. "These are all the changes to prostitution regulations they made in two meetings?"

"Yeah," Naruto muttered, shoving his hair back from his face and reaching for the coffee.

"There's no hope, then," Neji replied, opening one of the cabinets and pulling out a cup for himself. "Whoever introduced the bulk of those was likely planning to change regulations for a while." He started to pour himself a cup of coffee. "They're probably the one who hired the killer when their other attempts to change it failed. Even the yakuza have to acknowledge public opinion on a serial killer."

Naruto stared at him over the rim of his cup.

". . . You know," he said after a few moments, "if I thought like you, I would wake up every morning and then kill myself."

Neji raised an eyebrow as he pulled out a chair. "Is that a hint?"

Naruto shook his head. "I'm just saying, man, that dark cloud's supposed to have a silver lining somewhere."

Neji snorted and picked up the nearest set of papers. "Has Sakura seen these yet?"

"Nah, I gotta talk to her later," Naruto replied, draining the last of his coffee and grimacing when he realized he'd been asleep long enough to need to brush his teeth. "I'll give them to her then."


"Are you sure you're okay?" Sakura asked, combing her fingers through her hair as they headed down the hall. She'd barely had the time to shove her feet into slippers after Naruto knocked on her door and asked her to come to his room.

"Yeah, yeah, I just--gotta stay awake long enough to go to sleep tonight, so I can be up at five tomorrow."

"Five?"

"We're going to meet an 'old friend' of his," Naruto said, opening his door with a half-smirk. "Apparently I need an hour long lesson in manners first."

". . . Wow," she said quietly. "The yakuza are involved?"

"Not yet," he replied. "I mean, I don't think so. Maybe."

Sakura exhaled through her teeth. "Are the changes that bad? I hadn't followed anything past the papers yesterday. . . ."

"It got worse," Naruto replied, picking the newly collated papers up off the edge of his desk. "They've basically outlawed the industry. They didn't make practicing prostitution illegal, but pretty much everything else . . . 'soliciting for purposes of prostitution, procuring a person for prostitution, coercing a person into prostitution,' uh. . . ." He flipped through the papers, then gave up and handed them to her. When she took them, he rested his hand on the desk. "The really bad stuff is that furnishing a place for prostitution, or putting up funds for it, or being a pimp are all also illegal now."

Sakura looked back up at him. "What?"

"Set retroactively," he added.

Sakura's fingers tightened slightly on the paper. ". . . But. . . ."

"Yeah," Naruto replied, looking down at the plain manila folder beside his hand. "We're all going tomorrow to lobby for the definition to be changed to just . . . dammit, the word for vaginal sex, um--"

"Coitus," Sakura supplied, skimming the papers now.

"Yeah, so that'll muck things up long enough to cover ourselves, but." Naruto started to reach for the folder, then hesitated. "Both Jiraiya and I could be arrested in the meantime."

"Shit," Sakura whispered, turning another page harshly, "there's got to be an out somewhere in here. . . ."

He shook his head. "That's. . . . Okay. Okay, this is the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

When she looked over at him, Naruto drew a breath, and then picked up the folder and held it out. When she took it, he reached past her and pushed the door shut.

"This is the document for you to have my power of attorney," Naruto said before she could open it completely; and then he watched her face as he continued. "It's the durable version, so that's supposed to let you use it immediately, and it can't be revoked until I'm dead or I say so, so if the cops--you just need to sign it, and then even if they show up today, you can handle things for me. And I don't think you can be charged since you're only doing it in my stead and not really running anything, but I didn't make sure, so--"

"Naruto," she finally interrupted. "Did Jiraiya agree to this?"

"Jiraiya can suck me," he said firmly. "Look, Sakura, I don't have anyone else to trust this with, not if he's under the same pressure. We're still too small."

He gave the door another glance before looking back to her. "And I'm gonna explain to Neji that I couldn't risk anyone coming down on us if I gave him that much authority. And I can't afford to make it dual power, because I can't be sure you two will agree on stuff."

Sakura glanced away.

Naruto hesitated at that. ". . . So just. . . ."

Finally, he reached out and rested a hand on her forearm. "I'll make Jiraiya accept that this was the only option. He knows you run my accounts already, this isn't a much bigger step. And once this is over, we can show him how well you handled it and then . . . make some kind of arrangement." He let his hand drop. "If you're willing not to go too far and to work for me afterward, I can find a way to get you a college education. Okay?"

Sakura stared at him.

"This. . . ." She looked down at the papers in the folder and shook her head. "Were you planning this?"

". . . Yeah, kinda," he confessed with a small grin. "Didn't really expect the murderer and whole potential jail thing, though."

Sakura laughed once, more from surprise than genuine amusement, and bit her bottom lip.

"Jiraiya'll kill you . . . and everyone else. . . ."

"We'll make it work," he said. "I'll think of how later. But, c'mon, you need to sign it. If Sasuke's cousin walked in here right now, we're fucked."

"Okay, okay. . . ." She shook her head one last time, and then looked over at the desk. "Where's a pen?"