We know Jesus is alive because he is registered to vote in Nebraska. Naysayers who say his address there doesn't exist are foolishly ignorant of the current reality of unlisted numbers and witness protection programs!
The jesus body was used as a vector for the tranmission of The Dominion Factor (or Adelphia-X Virus as it's come to be known today.) It's a little known historical fact that the roman guard who administered the vinegar'd sponge to Jesus's lips during his crucifiction actually was intentionally administering the virus. Exactly 3 days later, the final stage of the virus gestated and Jesus rose from the dead, an unliving creature bent on the consumption of human flesh
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Yes. Of course he rose from the dead. We know this from a selection of writings by the apostle Paul, who grew up in Greece and killed Christians for around 20 years before suddenly becoming one.
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