IC Contact

[refrigeratormom]

Hi, this is Mary Winchester. I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you just as soon as I can. Thanks!

[Pause.]

...Beep.

[Yes, she said the word "beep." Don't sass.]

Comments

Call;

[wearinandtearin]

[Hey Mary, here's your son calling. The older and more attractive one, of course.]

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[He takes a couple steps inside.]

Seriously? The first time I get a copy of keys to a woman's apartment, and it's my Mom's. Now that's just sad.

[He's trying hard to make light conversation.]

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

[She walks with him into the kitchen, returning to her bowl of batter and yeah, two pancakes already cooking. There's a tell-tale box of batter mix on the counter and an open bottle of wine on the table.] Hey, parents don't count. [looking up from checking under one with a teasing smile.] You're just another latchkey kid.

[Time to flip the pancake, then the other. She presses down on the pancake with the spatula while reaching for her wine glass by the stove.]

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[He follows her over to the kitchen and leans against one of the counters out of the way to watch her with crossed arms and a bit of an amused look on his face.] That may have been true over ten years ago. I'm pretty far from being a kid now.

[He gets a bit more serious when he notices her reaching for the wine glass and decides to address it casually. He knows that he's a hypocrite for this, but still.] It's a bit early for that, isn't it?

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

[Her hand closes around it just as he asks. There's only a second's pause before she picks it up and takes a sip.]

No. [N o p e.] I just got off a long night at work.

[Ignore that it's a new habit, or that, even now, it takes hard effort to hide her disapproval of Dean's drinking that reminds her so of John. Mary fusses with the pancake a little, grip tightening on the glass.]

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[The tension washes over him and he lets a moment pass before letting out a breath and gearing in a bit of a more direct route.]

Is everything okay? [His voice is a bit gruff but the concern is there.] I mean between the wine and the lack of sleep, I'd think you were working a case. But those don't just pop up on this island.

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

[Mary stops and turns a little to look at him. Telling him the truth isn't an option; how or why would the boys possibly know about this Adam person? Just dropping the bomb that they have a half-brother, that the latest source of stress that pushed her to this point was about her husband and another woman. It isn't right.]

Dean... in all honesty, everything hasn't been okay since I got here.

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[He pushes off of the counter when she confesses that. He knew it already, of course, but... He comes over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder blade closest to him.]

Yeah. Ending up in H.R. Geiger's version of wonderland in your nightgown and meeting me and Sam all grown up wouldn't be my idea of a good time, either. [He's not the brightest, not like Sam or Ash, but he's been doing detective work since he was a kid. So he's pretty confident in what he's observing.] But it's more than that. Especially recently.

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

[She wants to tense up, but instinctively leans into his touch just a little. It's been too long. Her life used to be filled with a happy, grabby baby, an attention-hungry little boy who climbed all over her with little arms around her neck, and a husband. Simple contact seems suddenly enormously important.]

It's everything. It's you, and Sam, and Tom- it's. I know things aren't okay with you, Dean, no matter how hard you try to pretend. [Her look gets a little sharper, a little more raw.] I had two children and a husband, and I- [softly:] I don't have them anymore. They're gone, and- I'll never see them again.

[It's just about everything on her mind except the John thing. But hell, it's still enough. It's still so much of what she couldn't get off her chest.]

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[He can't help but tense, his breath catching and something painful in his chest jolting at the mention of Tom. But he continues to listen, even if it's hard to concentrate. He swallows hard when she finishes and though he wants to pull away due to the shame, he stays where he is and rubs a bit of an uncertain circle into her back briefly.]

I... [He clears his throat and removes his hand from her back, placing it on the counter.] I'm sorry. [And he really is. More than anything. He can't help the heaviness in his voice and the raw guilt in his face. It consumes him so much, he almost wishes he could just die. But he's here for his Mom, he can't feel like that. He struggles to think of something more to say.] ... What can I do?

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

I don't know. [Quietly, she reaches back to move the pancakes off the burner and shut it off. Seeing the guilt on his face hurts, but it's hard to reach out and tell him it'll be okay. She wants to, so badly, but she doesn't know if the kind-hearted person in front of her will let her in. Neither of them do. It's hard to know how much to let them in.] It isn't your fault. I just feel so helpless.

[Her hand moves over his, just as some simple show that she's still here.]

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[He looks down at her hand over his and his skin prickles uncomfortably at the show of affection he doesn't deserve, but he doesn't move away. Instead, his other hand grips the side of the counter tightly and a pained look crosses his face as he starts to shake his head in disagreement. It is his fault, very much his fault. Then he settles his gaze on her shoulder.]

I'd do anything to make you not feel that way. [His expression is earnest and resolved as he finally looks back up at her. Because he knows that feeling too well.]

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

[Her thumb strokes the back of his hand slowly, gently. Just a little touch. Oh, Dean- he looks the way he used to peer up at her, so determined and serious-faced and small. It hurts to see.]

Dean... doesn't it hurt to be so alone? You don't have to be.

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[The stroking on his hand is distracting and wears away at something fragile and painful inside him. He forces a wry grin, but there's no real feeling behind it.]

What makes you say that? I've got Sam and you.

Offline;

[refrigeratormom]

You close yourself off. [There's no illusion of happiness on her face- just concern.] You both do, but you especially.

[Softly:]

I know where you've been, Dean. I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but you don't have to pretend that everything's fine.

Offline;

[wearinandtearin]

[Where he's been... He draws himself up when he realizes what she's talking about and just looks at her shoulder again. Then he pulls his hand out from under hers without really thinking about it.]

... Who told you?