Chair Chronicles - Juno

[snoozing_kitten]

Title: Chair Chronicles
Movie: Juno
Author: sashjun
Characters: Ryo, Shige, Jin, Tackey, Tsubasa, random cameos of other Johnnys’
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shige is the good boy; he does all his homework, wins Track & Field meets, doesn’t rebel and plays guitar. Ryo thinks that he has nice legs and smells good. After Tic-Tacs. Things happen.
Warning: Mpreg, high school AU, 10 825 words
Notes: This exchange was my excuse to write Mpreg and high school AU-two things I would usually probably never consider. The casting might be a little wonky. If you think a dialogue is cool, there is a 99% chance I stole it from the original, which I did a lot. Also Juno is a really great movie, and I apologize if I unintentionally ruined it for anyone. And since I really am a copycat this time, no profit is being earned by this ;D. Lastly thanks to tatoeba for being so helpful, for cheering me on and for betaing and to snoozing_kitten for not giving up on me ♥


It started with a chair. It was the one that Shige's mother bought in some yard sale, deep, soft and slightly molt where the previous owner liked to rub his cheek against the backrest. It was magnificent.

Shige will always remember the taste of his orange Tic-Tac-those two magic calories in a tiny capsule, the soundtrack of his teeth breaking through the hard candy, the smell of fabricated oranges and the feel of the old armchair against his bare back as Ryo slips out of his bright yellow boxers, eyes boring into Shige, and sits down onto Shige's lap. Shige didn't know Ryo cared about being a school patriot; he didn't even know you could get boxers in the school colors. But the yellow is exactly like the one of his running shorts, and the dark red inside of the waistband, visible as the boxers lie crumbled on Shige's carpet, is unmistakable. That night is kind of perfect.

“I’ve wanted this for a really long time,” Shige mutters while Ryo nibbles at his ear. Even that cheesy line, that stupid admission doesn’t really make things any less perfect.

“I know,” Ryo says. Of course he does. But his voice is quiet and excited, and Shige loves him. That night Shige thinks that Ryo is his.

*

On second thought, taking three pregnancy tests in a local convenience store, where the cashier knows your first name and you learn that nipples turn dark brown when someone is pregnant, probably wasn’t the best idea. But Ryo has just drunk three SunnyDs, so he told the cashier to just shut it and hand over the keys to the lavatory. He did.

“That little pink plus sign is so unholy,” Ryo mutters to himself. Unfortunately he doesn’t miss the cashier almost breaking his neck as he tries to see.

“Now, that is something,” the cashier whistles.

Ryo feels like the long string of twizzlers will make things better, so he buys them. In the end, he doesn’t really open the package until he is in front of his house. It’s not like he actually wants to hang himself or that he thinks the twizzlers could hold him up, but trying it anyway makes him feel better. Surprisingly, he also feels a little less choked once he bites the loop he created through with his teeth.

“This is captain Jin speaking,” Jin says into the phone.

“I’m at a suicide risk here,” Ryo says for the effect. Well he kind of was when he tried to hang himself from the tree on his front yard with the aid of some not so tasty twizzlers.

“Ryo?”

“No, Kimura Takuya speaking. Do you need to order a perfect Beyonce impersonation?

“No, I can do that perfectly fine by myself,” Jin laughs carelessly, and Ryo can imagine him petting his little bunny, stupidly called Kame for some reason, as he chills, carefree, not having a worry in his life.

“I’m pregnant,” Ryo announces.

“Are you for real?” Jin is still laughing.

“Yeah, it’s Shige’s.”

“It’s probably just a food baby,” Jin says, though the smile in his voice is starting to fade.

“No it is not a food baby. I took like three pregnancy tests, and the symbol looked always different. Why the hell can’t they unify anyway? But it always meant the same thing.”

“How did you even generate enough urine for three pregnancy tests?” Jin asks, genuinely intrigued.

“I freaking drank my way through several SunnyDs. Jin, for god’s sake, concentrate! I’m telling you I am pregnant, and you are acting like I tell you this every other day?”

“Oh my god? You’re serious!” Jin squeaks, and Ryo feels justified to roll his eyes and flop down on his bed, a picture of him and Shige playing guitars viciously looking back at him.

“Now this is the reaction I was looking for,” Ryo says.

Jin is surprisingly practical after that; thank god they both know what Ryo is going to do next.

“But I need your help with something else. So get your lazy ass in the gear and meet me outside.”

“So were you bored?” Jin asks as they move heavy furniture around. Jin has helpfully pointed out how that can only help in current situation.

“No, the act was completely premeditated,” Ryo smirks. He does not deflower virgins out of boredom. Though that would be much better hobby than carrying a child; he must admit.

“You wanted to get pregnant with Kato’s baby?” Jin asks, incredulously.

“No, I meant the sex, idiot.”

“Hmm . . .” Jin sits into the trunk of the van next to Ryo. “So when did you decide you were going to let Kato Shigeaki do you?” Jin asks.

“I don’t know . . .” Ryo trails off, thinking of Shige’s note and premade homework for their Spanish II. Jin gives him a skeptical look. “Okay, fine, about a year ago in Spanish class.”

“You love him,” Jin says, feigning shock. Ryo thinks Jin really doesn’t have to always say what he thinks even if maybe he knows Ryo a bit too well.

“No, it’s complicated . . .” Ryo stammers out.

Jin looks him up and down and swings his legs the same way Ryo does.

“So how was it? Bouncing up and down in Shige’s squishy lap?” he asks at the end, grinning conspicuously.

“Magnificent!” Ryo almost shouts. He doesn’t really regret it.

The living room set is as awesome and flashy as it should be-very appropriate for the situation, Ryo thinks and sinks deeper into the huge armchair. Shige’s shorts are flashy too, is Ryo’s first thought when Shige comes out of the front door of his house.

“I stole it from Joushima’s front yard,” Ryo informs him nonchalantly, and Shige smiles. Ryo smiles too. It is advisable to stay positive in situations like these.

“Your shorts are super shiny today,” he comments, and Shige looks down self-consciously, pulls the shorts a bit more down and starts circling and shaking his legs to loosen his ankles. His thighs are amazingly pale and kind of enticing.

Ryo gets distracted when he hears the Track & Field team approaching, and he turns his head to watch. He observes in fascination as fifteen boys in sparkly yellow shorts and claret hoodies jog down the street, their step in synch, their bodies raising and falling in the rhythm. When Ryo sees them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, he always pictures them naked, even if he doesn't want to. All he sees is pork swords.

They pass, and he turns to face Shige again.

“I’m supposed to be running,” Shige mutters, finishing his breakfast bun, his wrist band blinding white as his arm falls to his side. Ryo refuses to bite his lip, instead puffs out another miniature smoke cloud out of his fake pipe.

“So guess what?” Ryo asks, keeping his voice steady, his composure cool.

“I . . .” Shige stammers, looking in the direction of his team leaving him behind. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

*

That day, Shige woke up, heated up his bun, pulled on his shorts, straightened his socks and didn’t spend too much time on untangling his shoelaces. When he found out his mom had washed his wristbands, he smiled. He thought this would be a good day. Then he found Nishikido Ryo sitting on his front lawn. And he learned that he would become a father.

It’s not unheard of. Not the becoming a father part, teachers and parents and old people do that old the time. The men becoming pregnant part is the less frequent one. Not impossible as biology proved, just not really common. Now, sixteen year old man who Shige had his first sex with approximately two months and four days ago, that is . . . quite shocking really.

Ryo looks like he might actually not be so cool about this as he watches Shige from his armchair, suddenly so big, eating the not so suddenly small Ryo up. Shige has, of course, never really been cool to begin with. So now he’s turned speechless. But Ryo keeps quiet too, so in the end, he asks the one question on his mind.

“What should we do?”

Ryo opens his mouth, but Shige thinks this isn’t really the Ryo he knows, quick to tell him off, to find a way out of any hot spot, to be silly but confident.

“Well, I was thinking . . . I should prevent it from getting any worse, you know?” Ryo gets out at the end, still looking at Shige like maybe he knows the answer. But this is not a chem lab. Ryo’s forehead wrinkles. “Because you know how they were talking in our health class how pregnancy, it can often lead to an infant.”

“Yeah, typically, that’s what happens when our mums and teachers get pregnant.” Shige mentally kicks himself in the ass for that comment.

“So you are cool with that?” And now Ryo’s voice is clipped, and Shige almost makes a step and goes to hug him, but then he doesn’t. He tries to be cool just like Ryo is trying. For him.

“Yeah. You know. Just do whatever you think you should do.” Shige knows he can’t really be a father. He owns an armchair, a guitar and a box of Tic-Tac.

By the time he can think more about it, Ryo has stood up. “Well, sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn’t, like, your idea,” Ryo says and mounts his bike.

“Wait, what? Whose idea was it?” Shige manages to ask.

“I’ll see you at school,” Ryo shouts over his shoulder.

Should he even be biking now? But then “Whose idea was it?” Shige whispers, looking at the armchair where Ryo sat just moments ago.

Chem lab really is the only class Shige and Ryo have together this year. It is a little surreal how everything is so normal, so like any other day. He catches that Kamenashi guy eyeing Ryo’s ass in the hallway while Ryo picks up his fallen books. It still is a fine ass, but Kamenashi has no right staring like that.

Shige knows that guys like him-wanna-bees, popular, captains of one team or another, always want people like Ryo-dorks, with weird clothes and unusual hobbies, wearing glasses or Goth make up or wanting to become librarians, or musicians in Ryo’s case. Even though they should be into other perfect people. Like cheerleaders and stuff. Like Jin. Well he is a guy, but he is a cheerleader, he looks good in blond drag and cheerleader skirt and is just typically pretty. But Jin, coincidently, is into teachers. More precisely, today he is ogling Domoto Koichi, despite the fact that Mr. Domoto is short, has mustache and is bolding. He is old.

All in all, everything is just like always, including the arguing Nino and Jun, their lab partners who are apparently dating. Or not because Jun is on his kind of period and Nino went off fishing with his BFF Ohno.

“Well, there’s nothing like experimenting?” Ryo says, joining Shige at lab the table.

Shige’s teeth clash painfully as a Tic-Tac slips from between them. “I did prep questions for this last night, so you can just copy my answers,” he says to Ryo while learning details about other people’s love lives that he never needed to know.

“I could never copy your work,” Ryo says back.

“You always copy my answers,” Shige replies. Out of all things he wishes this one would go as usual.

“That’s true. I’m kind of a shitty lab partner, aren’t I?” Ryo asks.

Shige wonders if this is hormones speaking. Already? “No, that is not true,” he says just in case. “You definitely bring something to the table.”

“Charisma,” Ryo nods gleefully.

Shige doesn’t really manage to speak to Ryo after that anymore.

*

Ryo doesn’t really need the extra encouragement to make an appointment for an abortion, but transferring the freshly drunk blue slushie into his step mom’s decorative urn and then having to deny it over the suddenly weird smelling dinner only helps. However, he smells trouble and knows it is not just his pregnant stomach rebelling when he sees Koyama standing in front of the clinic, waiving a board and chanting “All babies want to get born.”

What it all comes down to is too much details; Koyama off pills, chanting “All babies want to get born,” in Ryo’s head, Koyama telling him that the baby inside him has fingernails, the receptionist offering him weirdly flavored condoms that her boyfriend always uses, all the little sounds, scratching, thrumming of the waiting room, the smell so similar to the one his step mother always baths in because she fixes nails for living, more nails everywhere, and isn’t it soon for the baby to have fingers? Let alone fingernails. Ryo is running out of the clinic before he even knows it.

“God appreciates your miracle!” Koyama shouts after him.

Ryo tries to remember that when he tells Jin he could not do it, he tries to remember that when it is Shige’s mother who picks up when he calls to tell Shige he is going to gave birth to this child and he tries to remember that as he leafs through The Penny-saver with Jin and reads through the ads of people who want to adopt his unborn child. He tries to remember when he can’t finish another slushie without his stomach doing several summersaults.

It’s kind of ironic that putting the baby for adoption was Jin’s ideas. Who even advertises things like that in The Penny-saver. Right next to exotic birds and such. But according to Jin, it’s “totally legit,” so Ryo just doesn’t look that way.

“So what do you have in mind?” Jin asks after none of them “feel” right to Ryo.

“Oh you know, a cool band guitarist with a long legged wife with blond hair and pretty nails who does flower arranging for a hobby,” Ryo says in reply. “But I don’t want to be too specific.”

Secretly he just wants someone who, on top of having a wry sense of humor just like the kid will surely have, will love the baby and take better care of it than he could for the next ten years or so. He hopes this is a right thing to do. He wants to ask Shige because Shige probably knows better, but he doesn’t want to be weak. Shige said he could do whatever he wanted.

“What about these two?” Jin asks in an excited voice. “They look classy, and they might just be perfect for the occasion,” he adds. Ryo’s face splits into a grin as he reads the ad.

“Dude, I think it’s best to just tell them,” Jin says from where he is currently stuck between two bars of the staircase handrail in Ryo’s house when Ryo’s parents have already guessed every disaster but pregnancy in response to Ryo’s “I need to talk to you.”

“It would just be really great if no one hit me,” Ryo breaths out. He is thinking of the baby and its perfect parents and maybe just a little of how his already big nose might not looks so good swollen or broken.

“What did you do?” his father asks wearily, gripping the armrest of his chair, the chair he always sits in when in the living room.

“I’m pregnant.”

Ryo sees the disappointment and shock in his father’s eyes, and he thinks he might throw up again. “But I am going to give the baby for adoption, and I have already picked the perfect parents, and I am meeting them tomorrow, and you know in eight odd months we can pretend like this never happened.”

“I didn’t even know you were sexually active,” Ryo’s step mother says, and Ryo is kind of sick of hearing the word for the past couple of days. What does it even mean?

“Who is the kid?” his father asks.

Well, that is random. “The baby? I don’t really know that much about it. I mean it has fingernails,” Ryo tries.

“Fingernails?” His step mom didn’t know either.

“Yeah-”

“No! I mean who is the father, Ryo!” His dad raises his voice, and Ryo flinches.

“It’s Kato Shigeaki,” he answers.

“Kato Shigeaki?” Suddenly his father seems more unbelieving than shocked.

“What?”

“I didn’t think he had it in him,” his father says more to the room in general.

“I know right,” Jin laughs from behind Ryo.

“This is no laughing matter,” his father shuts Jin up. Ryo’s dad is right. Shige glares.

“Yeah, and you know what, Kato is actually great . . . in . . . in chair,” Ryo finishes. This is a second time the reaction to his pregnancy isn’t really what he was counting on. Well Shige kind of made up for that. Shige, who by the way got off easy; clearly his parents too think that he was not the one who initiated it.

[“Next time I see that Shige kid, I’m going to punch him in the wiener.”

“Darling, you know it wasn’t his idea.”

“Yeah . . .”]

Before he knows it, Ryo has a doctor’s appointment, his father is going with him to see the future parents and he is taking so much vitamins he can’t keep track of it, but apparently some of them are good for his nails. He knows he let his father down. He is actually surprised by how much faith his dad had in him and his judgment. But right now, Ryo doesn’t even know who he is, let alone what is right and wrong. It’s all a blur of baby nails, possible huge jeans and too uncomfortable chairs that are not good enough for his aching back, and Tic-Tac.

*

They were Tackey and Tsubasa, as Shige learned when he bribed Jin with some movies that Koichi considered crucial for someone’s proper cultural horizons. If he had waited for Ryo to tell him, he’d go nuts. It is so Ryo to have chosen a gay couple when Shige thinks about it. But Shige prefers thinking of chairs and yellow underwear that smell like Ryo and that are currently hiding under his bed where he safely stored them after his mother almost caught him with them in hand. At the time she came to tell him that Ryo had called. She gave him that look and shook her head when he refused to eat dinner. His mother doesn’t really like Ryo. Maybe, somewhere deep down, she knows that Ryo likes to compare her to a short hobbit at times.

Shige wonders what everything that one missed phone call means. How much it changed.

“Will you tell me already?” Shige glares at Jin behind the school gym.

“Tackey is cool and owns several guitars. Tsubasa just has this huge Pilates machine. Oh and their lawyer is this chick with a German sounding name, Gertha something.” Jin grins. Shige offers him a Tic-Tac.

“I’m on a diet, need my legs to look good for Koichi.”

“I practically gave you a video library,” Shige says a little annoyed.

“Their bathroom is too clean, they have pretty pictures of themselves and they really, really want this baby,” Jin counts down on his fingers. “Apparently Tsubasa said he was born to be a mother. Ryo is a cheesy idiot so he likes that.” Jin rolls his eyes, and Shige knows Ryo probably did too when he heard that phrase even if it made him happy.

“Oh and that Tackey guy played guitar with Ryo and told him to ‘keep it in the oven.’”

In fact, Jin knows so many details that it is clear to Shige how excited Ryo must have been about meeting them. He is probably content and happier this way, now that he has found his own solution. While he let Shige hang in the middle of nowhere, in the dark. Shige who by now would probably think Ryo is not even pregnant anymore.

The way things are now, Shige tries really hard not to stalk up to Ryo and ask about it every time he sees him. He looks him into the eyes and tries to read him instead-tries to show him that Ryo can tell him. Shige lets Ryo copy his work as usual and follows him with his eyes when he sees him carrying too many books, but he never looks at his stomach, never goes to help and wills himself not to think about this baby that already has perfect parents elsewhere. Every time Shige sinks into his armchair, he is reminded of how he assumed he and Ryo may have had something. Something that never got anywhere and has been frozen because of this baby who Shige is pretending so hard doesn’t even exist to begin with.

“Merry Christmas,” Shige says and hands over a CD he hunted down somewhere on the internet.

“Oh cool,” Ryo notes, but his eyes are shining when he looks up, and for a moment Shige sees nothing else.

“Here, this one is for you,” Ryo says. This one is a compilation. Random things Shige can’t make anything of.

“Thank you,” he mutters, and Kamenashi bumps into them, then Jin comes and sweeps Ryo away.

Most of these, I heard and thought you might like them. Don’t get too wasted on that spring music fest. I don’t think I’m coming with you this time.

Shige reads the message and somehow manages to not care about how Ryo’s shirts are getting wider by the day.

“Hey man, did you hear that Nishikido Ryo is pregnant?” Tegoshi asks catching up to Shige during the first track practice after winter break.

“Yeah,” Shige slows down to accommodate Tegoshi’s pace.

“Did you hear it’s yours?”

“Yup.” Maybe Tegoshi will go away.

“What a trip man,” Tegoshi sounds almost sympathetic.

“I don’t really know that much about it,” Shige says. It’s true; it feels good to get that out of the system, and maybe Tegoshi will get the hint.

“You should grow a mustache,” Tegoshi instructs.

“I can’t.” Shige just has to keep on running.

“Me neither,” Tegoshi admits, “but I’m going to stop wearing underpants to erase my sperm count,” Shige looks sharply at Tegoshi-a freshman. “See you,” the guy says and easily breezes past Shige. Shige stops running. He is kind of tired.

Shige purposefully waits behind the office space while Ryo is getting a note signed. He totally looks smooth when he steps into Ryo’s path though. Like he just happens to be there.

“Hey Ryo,”

“Hey Shige,” Ryo smiles. He is wearing a tight shirt, having switched back to them some time ago, his belly round and prominent. Shige focuses on the freckle on Ryo’s lip instead.

“Some guys and I are going to the movies after school, and I got us some doughnuts to go with. Do you want to come?”

“Oh, it sounds awesome,” Ryo sighs, eyeing the box in Shige’s hands. Maybe he would like a doughnut now. “But I got my ultrasound,” he explains.

Right. “Oh really?” Shige gets out. “Can I,” he looks down, biting his lip. “Should I come with you?”

“Oh no,” Ryo rolls his eyes, but it only makes Shige flinch. “You can’t waste those doughnut holes there. But maybe I could, you know, drop by later.”

“Okay,” Shige smiles. Ryo coming over when no guys are around is fine with him. More than fine. “See you later then.”

*

Ryo leaves most of the cooing over the body parts of his unborn baby to Jin, who is vocal enough for both of them. But when he sees that little feet and a small hand curled into a fist, he can’t help the big grin that turns into an awed mouth wide open himself. His step mom is crying. That is kind of surprising.

“Whoa, check out the Baby Big Head,” Jin can’t hold it in anymore. “Dude, that thing is freaky looking,” he adds, and Ryo can’t slap him over the head right now.

“Would you like to know the sex,” the technician asks.

“YES!” Jin shouts.

“No.”

“Yes, yes,”

“NO . . . no sex,” Ryo admonishes Jin.

“Planning to be surprised when you deliver?” the technician wonders aloud.

“Well, I want Tackey and Tsubasa to be surprised. And if you tell me, I’ll just like ruin everything,” Ryo says and grins at the monitor.

“Are Tackey and Tsubasa your friends at school?” The technician is really talkative, Ryo thinks.

“No, they’re the adoptive parents,”

“Well, thank goodness for that,” the technician concludes.

Ryo grips his t-shirt where it is rolled up, his knuckles aching from how strong he holds on, but it is his step mom who asks what the hell that’s supposed to mean.

Apparently Ryo is poisonous because he is a teenager. Even if the adoptive parents can end up being much worse. Though Ryo knows that won’t happen. He chose them, damn it. He did what was good for the baby. Is he still poisonous? His step mother is on fire, and when she sends the technician to “learn the real trade,” Ryo’s hand finally uncurls from his shirt.

“I love it,” Ryo tells her. Sometimes she can be cool too. She just laughs, and Ryo snatches the ultrasound picture from the stand next to his head.

The baby is so tiny, so black and white on the ultrasound photo. Ryo remembers that Tsubasa wanted Ryo to keep them updated. He is in front of their door before he knows it, pulling at his shirt and fixing his hair because Tsubasa said he was pretty and Ryo wants to look good so that they know the kid will be drop-dead gorgeous too. It’s Tackey who answers the door, Tsubasa supposedly working late to get as much hours in as possible before the baby comes. Ryo gets inside before he is even invited.

“Yeah, I hear these are quite the time suck,” he says. “Why aren’t you at work?” Ryo asks Tackey, already cradling that fancy juice with bubbles he only had once when he made his little sister go and give their father the best puppy eyes ever.

“I work mostly from home. I’m a composer,” Tackey answers a bit smugly.

“No shit? Like Johannes Brahms?” Ryo asks

“No, more commercial stuff,” Tackey explains.

“Like what?”

“Commercials.”

“Oh.” Ryo snickers, but he is still impressed. The guy does play a cool guitar and he makes music for living. That is kind of awesome. Kind of like a dream parent, Ryo is sure.

“Right. Did you say you had something to show me?” Tackey asks, catching the vibe.
Ryo sits him down on the sofa and pulls out the ultrasound picture.

“Behold good sir, your future child,” he sticks the picture in front of Tackey’s face, really close so that he can have a look at that beauty. He contributes the knitted eyebrows to Tackey going almost cross-eyed from looking at the picture.

“I think it looks like my friend Shige,” Ryo says and sits next to Tackey so that he can see the picture as well.

“Is he also bald and amorphous?” Tackey asks, studying the picture.

“No, he’s the dad.”

“Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?” Tackey flips the picture in his hand.

“I can’t. The doctor can, but I kind of want it to be a surprise,” Ryo grins.

“Well it can only go one of two ways.”

“That’s what you think,” Ryo sniggers. “I mean, I drink tons of booze so you might end up with one of those neuter-babies with no junk.”

“Junk, huh,” Tackey laughs a little. Oh yeah, Ryo can be funny.

“You know, its parts.”

“I know what junk is. We definitely want it to have some junk, please,” Tackey says in all seriousness. Ryo kind of really likes that he is playing along.

“Yeah don’t worry. My parents make me eat supper healthy. I can’t stand in front of a microwave and no red M&Ms. I hope you’re ready.”

“Oh,” Tackey suddenly jumps up. “This is my favorite song!” He changes the topic and sits by the stereo turning the volume up. The song isn’t that bad, but really Tackey should know better. Still he is making Ryo CDs because that is his kid in Ryo’s stomach. True. Maybe Ryo could actually listen to them sometimes.

Between music and awful horror movie they end up watching, Ryo wants to know if they picked up a name yet.

“Tsubasa likes Shuuji for a boy,” Tackey says distractedly.

“Wait isn’t that . . . like super gay?” Ryo asks.

“Whoa, pretentious much?” Tackey laughs, and Ryo gets red behind his ears. “It’s not like Ryo is any special.”

“Well my dad named me after this cool guy who used to live in his neighborhood when he was a kid. He was supposed to be like really mean but really handsome. Like Hikaru Genji.” Ryo explains.

“Well, that suits you,” Tackey says, eyes on Ryo.

“Thanks?” Ryo asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You are something else,” Tackey mumbles.

They can hear the garage opening then. “There’s Tsubasa. We’d better stop.” Tackey says, hurriedly reaching for the remote control.

“What? Why?”

“He hates when I sit around doing nothing and don’t contribute.”

“Oh, please, let me handle this. I’m really good at diffusing mom-type rage. Or you know what I mean,” and Ryo is running towards Tsubasa.

“Ryo! Why are you here? Is something wrong? What’s wrong?” Tsusbasa drops the groceries, suddenly much paler.

“Nothing, I just went to the doctor today,” Ryo searches his pockets for the picture.

“Is something wrong with the baby?”

“The baby is great; it’s the right size and everything. Here,” he shows the picture at Tsubasa, who breathes a sigh of relief.

Ryo feels a little bad for scaring him. “Look. It’s the baby. Your baby. Doesn’t it look like it’s waving, saying ‘Hi, Tsubasa, will you be my mommy?’” Ryo coos.

“Oh, it kind of does,” Tsubasa coos back.

Then Ryo gets to see tons of things Tsubasa already got for the baby and learns that they think their deal is not set in stone. Tsubasa clearly wants this so much, yet he doubts him.

“I’m not going to flake on you,” Ryo says sternly.

“We just went through a similar situation once, and it did not work out,” Tsubasa says, his face not only pale but with wrinkle from the sudden worry now.

“Cold feet,” Tackey adds.

“You should have gone to China,” Ryo says a little angry. “I hear they give away children like free iPods.” On second thought, maybe he should have held his breath this time, seeing the thin line of Tsubasa’s mouth.

“Your parents are probably wondering where you are,” Tsubasa says finally.

“Nah, I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?” There’s silence. “But, I should probably bounce,” Ryo adds to dissolve it.

The lecture Ryo gets from his step mother about the boundaries he should keep and about dynamics of married couples just makes him mad. It’s not her who has to go through this whole pregnancy thing. Ryo is doing nothing wrong. And Tackey was totally cool with it. His step mother knows nothing about him.

“I know enough,” she says and accidentally cuts off the head of a dog she was cutting out of a magazine.

“We don’t even have a dog,” Ryo says out of spite.

“Yes because you are allergic to their saliva. But when you move out, I am going to get Weimaraners.”

“Whoa, dream big,” Ryo shouts.

“Oh, go fly a kite!” his stepmother shouts after him. Ryo turns on his heel, and on his way out the door, he spills the rest of his blue slushie into the big urn in the hall. When he drives to Shige’s, he realizes it’s been a long time since he took that road.

*

“Hey man, don’t concentrate so hard. Your hair is going to look even worse all burned, you know,” Ryo says storming into Shige’s room just as Shige finishes his AP Algebra homework. Shige sees him steal a glance at the armchair in the corner of the room, but at the end Ryo opts for coming around the bed where Shige sits on the floor.

“Hey Ryo, what’s up,” Shige shuts the book and holds it tightly while Ryo slowly lowers himself onto a duffle chair, holding onto his back in a very pregnant way.

“Not much, you know. We just haven’t hung out on school nights in some time now.” Shige grabs his Tic-Tacs. Maybe Ryo misses him too. Just a little.

“You seem to be getting pregnant-er these days,” Shige blurts out when Ryo finally lands safely in the chair.

Ryo smiles a little. “You know, I set up this whole private adoption and found this gay couple who will be the parents.” he says nonchalantly.

Shige tries hard not to stare. “Really,” he says. Coolly. Even though this should be the first time he’s hearing about it. Ryo would still want him to take it calmly, like talking about the new kid in class or something.

“What are they like?” Shige asks. He wants to hear this from Ryo.

“Well, Tackey, he’s awesome. He plays guitar and likes old awful horror movies. We actually hung out this afternoon.” Ryo looks at his belly.

“Is that normal?” is all Shige can ask. Because it’s not, and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like Ryo watching movies and playing guitar with people who Shige doesn’t know, adult people he knows only a name of.

“Probably not, but . . .” Ryo trails off. Shige is supposed to understand yet again. “Listen, I talked to my parents and they won’t tell on you to your parents, so I think we should be cool . . .”

Shige is not going to tell his mother. He would if Ryo wanted him to. But Ryo doesn’t want to, and Shige gave up on thinking this whole thing is normal. It stopped being normal the moment the guy he loved got pregnant.

“That’s a relief,” he mutters.

“You know I’m going to start looking like a huge balloon soon. Are you still going to think I’m cute when I’m huge?” Ryo asks, slowly, and Shige’s heart starts racing.

“I always think you’re cute,” Shige says; he doesn’t even have to think about this one. For once it is so easy to answer. “I think you’re beautiful.” Well that might have been too much.

But Ryo actually looks flustered and maybe a bit pleased. “Jeez Shige.”

“I do,” Shige breathes out quickly. When Ryo stays silent, Shige has no clue how to proceed, but he feels like taking chances all of the sudden. “Ryo, when this is all over, we should get the band back together,” he proposes.

“Yeah, that’d be awesome,” Ryo recovers quickly. “I mean once Ohkura actually manages to buys some drums, we’re just like ready to rock.”

Shige always wondered why Ryo believes Ohkura would be also capable of playing those drums. Drums and trash cans are miles apart. But then he has different things on his mind now.

“And I mean, we could always get back together too. That’s an option.” Shige wishes his voice wouldn’t give in on him like that. He also wishes for Ryo to close his mouth that is kind of hanging wide open.

“Were we together?” Ryo asks, but he is barely whispering.

“Yeah, we were once . . . you know, that time,” Shige stumbles over his words, clutching to the book yet again.

“What about Massu?” Ryo suddenly just about shouts into the stretching silence. “You could totally go out with Massu.”

“I don’t like Massu. He smells like soup. Have you ever smelled him? And his whole house smells like soup,” Shige says frantically. Last thing he wants is Ryo match-making him. The silence didn’t use to be so heavy between them.

[“Okay, so we have custard and cheesecake,” Tsubasa says pointing at the wall.

“They’re yellow.” Tackey corrects him.

“Why does everyone think that yellow is gender neutral? I don’t know any guy with a yellow bedroom.” Tackey wonders out loud when Tsubasa presses him.

Tsubasa wants to paint a larger swatch.

“Or we could wait a few more months. It’s not like the baby is going to come storming in here demanding dessert-colored walls.”

“It’s called ‘nesting’,” Tsubasa eventually explains.

“What, are you going to build a crib out of sticks and spit?” Tackey asks, staying unfazed.

“You should read the book too. At least the daddy chapters.”

“I think it’s too early to paint,” Tackey admits.

“This wall is going to need something. Our first family picture right in the middle.” Tsubasa turns around in the empty room.

“Can you see it?” ]

Shige sees him at the mall. He is just a bit behind Ryo. He didn’t mean to follow him and Jin but when he saw Jin giving Ryo a head lock he almost went to break them apart. At the end, he settled for at least watching.

“That’s Tsubasa” he hears Ryo say as he crouches. He is spying on Ryo, who is spying on a parent of his baby. The irony is not lost on Shige.

“Dude, he’s like really pretty,” Jin says loudly. Shige wants to see, so he creeps around the gallery, hat pulled into his face, hoodie zipped up. Tsubasa is playing with a small girl, radiating joy more and more as the child laughs at him. On the other side of the gallery, Jin has stopped watching, but Ryo stares, eyes serious yet soft.

Tsubasa walks out of the elevator right into Ryo, and Shige can only watch as they both stumble over their words a little, and then Ryo shamelessly pulls his shirt up and shows Tsubasa his stomach. His belly is starting to look funky. Ryo’s face scrunches, and he holds his back again. Shige comes closer. Is it possible that the baby’s . . .

“. . . kicking. Kicking away,” Ryo says to Tsubasa, and Shige’s knees go weak.

“Could I feel it?” Tsubasa asks. Shige watches as Ryo pulls at his hand the next second.

“Are you kidding? Everyone’s grabbing my belly all the time. I’m a legend; they call me Willy the Whale,” Ryo says.

Shige watches in discomfort as Tsubasa touches Ryo’s stomach. Then Ryo suggests he starts talking. Tsubasa crouches down, and Shige’s ears may have grown a little just now with the way he tries to hear every word.

“Hi baby. It’s me. It’s Tsubasa . . . I can’t wait to meet you. Can you hear me baby? My sweetheart?”

Ryo has never looked so beautiful, so gentle, as when looking down at Tsubasa, whose face lights up suddenly.

“That was magical,” Tsubasa says, and Ryo too smiles.

“Thank you,” Shige hears as he turns around and quickly walks out of the mall.

Shige starts to look back at the mall incident with certain fondness, especially when he overhears Ryo calling Tackey from school one day. They talk about music, and Ryo is calling just to say hi, and this is what they should be doing together. This Tackey guy smells like trouble, and Shige does not like it. He is also scared.

Soon after, Shige notices big elastic sewn onto Ryo’s jeans when he drops his books at school. When Ryo walks down the hall, people stare and let him pass. At least no one is shoving him without care anymore. Ryo likes to wear a t-shirt with an arrow pointing to his stomach on it, and a sign the best button ever. His belly button is kind of visible underneath it. Shige supposes it is homemade.

“So I see you are going for a trip to China today. Or Mexico? Italy? All of them it is then.” Jin laughs at Ryo who has a tray packed with food for about three people. Ryo only glares. School cafeteria food has never tasted so good like in the past few months. Just another positive of being pregnant.

“How many months has it been now? You’re getting huge!” Jin says as they make their way to sit in the school prizes showcase. Way to try not to be on display.

“Closing on the eight,” Ryo mutters, thinking he should have taken the Greek salad as well. “You should see how weird I look naked,” he adds.

“I bet. Will you have to like wear a bra now?” Jin asks.

Ryo wants to throw his tray at him. “Idiot, do you see any boobs?” Jin giggles. “Plus I have to rub this nasty coco butter stuff on myself so my skin like won’t explode or something.” Too much details, but that’s what Jin gets for asking stupid questions.

“Hot,” Jin laughs and sticks his tongue out at a girl making a disgusted face behind them.

“Why does everyone keep staring at me?” Ryo glares a passerby down as he goes through his tortilla.

“Well, you are kind of convex, you know,” Jin laughs, his hand shaping a curve of Ryo’s body through air.

“Whoa, have you actually been doing your geometry homework?”

“Well I have no choice. Koichi’s been grading me so hard lately!” Jin pouts.

“Do not call Mr. Domoto ‘Koichi’ in front of me, please!

“Why not?”

“Because my barf reflex is really awaken these days.

“But Koichi is so hot.”

Ryo doesn’t think the same as he watches Domoto Koichi brush the remains of his coffee of his moustache.

“Hey, did you hear that Shige is going to prom with Massu?” Jin asks suddenly, much more serious.

“Massu?” Ryo doesn’t believe Jin this time. “No, he doesn’t like Massu. It must be like a pity date or something.” Must be.

“I heard that Shige asked Massu. And they are going to Benihana, then prom and then Yamapi’s parents’ cabin.”

“No,” Ryo says; it just can’t be truth. “He told me that Massu smells like soup.”

“Oh my god, he totally does. Like a big bowl of miso soup. It’s actually not that awful though. And you know, I would endure much worse things in order to grab some ass,” Jin states the obvious. “Massu has a nice ass.”

“Oh please. There’s no way they’re having sex. They won’t even hold hands,” Ryo nods to himself and finishes the Chinese fried noodles.

“Why not? Shige did it with you.” This annoying way Jin has of stating the facts with no care in the world.

“Yeah, because Shige trusts me. We’re like the best friends.” Ryo stuffs his face with jello.

“You are jealous!” And again. “I thought you didn’t care what he did.” Jin says nonchalantly.

“I’m not jealous. I don’t care. I just know Shige doesn’t like Massu, and he shouldn’t toy with Massu’s emotions like that. He seems pretty nice.”

“I’m really convinced,” Jin says and steals an abandoned fry from Ryo’s tray.

“Whatever, as soon as you are old enough to go, the prom is so not cool anymore,” Ryo says and doesn’t want to hear more about it.

*

“Are you honestly and truly going to the prom with Masuda Takahisa?” Ryo asks.

Shige jumps a little, Tic-Tac getting stuck in his throat. “Hi . . .” he stutters.

Ryo drops his back to the floor and it makes noise as it hits the bottom row locker. “Jin just said you are taking him.”

Shige then remembers to not be so damn sorry. “Yeah I asked him if he wanted to go. Me and a bunch of guys from the team are getting a stretch limo and going to Yamapi’s cabin afterwards.”

“Your mother must be stoked that you are not taking me,” Ryo says, throwing his fringe out of his face sharply.

“You’re mad. Why are you mad?” Shige asks. Well, he hoped Ryo would be. Just a little. But Ryo is truly angry.

“I’m not mad. Despite the fact I’m in a fat suit I can’t take off and everyone’s making fun of me behind my back . . .” Shige shakes his head and reaches for Ryo’s elbow.

Ryo sees him though and takes a step back. “You know what? You just take the soup boy to the prom. I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like I might try and see if I can reach and cut my toe nails, I might make voodoo dolls of people I don’t like or get hit by a track full of diapers, and all those things would be exponentially cooler than going to the prom with you.”

Shige snaps his head up. Ryo’s shouting is making his head hurt, and it has never been so hard to stay calm.

“You’re being really immature,” he blurts out at the end. Ryo looks at him like he just said pigs can fly. “You have no reason to be mad at me. You broke my heart,” Shige says at the end, his voice breaking a little as he looks into Ryo’s eyes. “I should be royally pissed off at you; I shouldn’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Why? Because I got bored and had sex with you? And I didn’t want to like marry you?” Ryo mocks him.

“You know we can’t even get married. Plus I wouldn’t want to; you’d b the meanest wife ever!” Shige raises his voice too. “And I know you weren’t bored that day. Because there was a lots of stuff on TV, and your favorite comic book just updated, and you were so excited but then you were all, ‘but we should make out instead,’ la la la.” Shige has no strength to continue. People are staring and someone wants to get to the locker next to them.

Ryo rolls his eyes, face cold and unmoved. “Well, you just take Massu the great-ass to the prom. I’m sure you’ll have time of your life,” he snarls.

“Well, I still have your underwear.” Shige says. That should serve Ryo right.

“Well, I still have your virginity.” Or not.

“Ryo. Just shut up,” Shige pleads, eyes wide.

“What? Are you ashamed that we did it?” Ryo’s face falls for a moment.

“No,” Shige wants to shake his head until it falls off. No.

“Because at least you don’t have the evidence under your shirt. I’m a planet.”

Shige drops his head. This is not what he wanted. He would switch any time. Ryo is picking up his bag really slowly.

“Wait, let me get your bag,” Shige reaches down on instinct. “You shouldn’t be carrying-”

“What’s another ten pounds?” Ryo says over his shoulder.

Shige flinches. Ryo leaves.

“Well that was interesting,” Jin comments, leaning on the wall around the corner.

Shige stares at him. Why did he ever think it would be a good idea to listen to Jin’s advice?

“Ryo will cool off. He just needs to realize what it all means.” Jin pats Shige on the shoulder. Shige starts walking again.

“But man, ‘I have your underwear,’ now really?”

Shige looks to the side, ready to tell Jin off, but Jin is already hopping down the hallway, calling for Mr. Domoto.

*

It’s starting to be too much, so Ryo drives where he thinks everything is perfect. He has some CDs to make Tackey listen to anyway.

“Tsubasa isn’t home; we’re safe.” Tackey grins and leads Ryo to his comic room.

“Most fruitful Yuki,” Ryo reads from the first page of a comic Tackey shows him. Because apparently Tackey likes comics too. “Is this a pregnant super hero?” Ryo suddenly feels less like a balloon and more like someone . . . heroic. Yuki seems like real bad ass.

It all feels natural, soothing. Tackey puts in one of Ryo’s CDs. It’s a slow song, but so what, it is still totally hard core and all, and Tackey starts talking about his own prom and how his date was great back then because he let him grope his ass. Then they are slow-dancing, like they did it in early nineties or something, and Tackey smiles at him and jokes, and Ryo just slumps against his shoulder. He needs a break, just for a moment. It’s then, when Tackey puts his cheek on top of Ryo’s head, that everything goes wrong.

“I’m leaving Tsubasa,” Tackey whispers. Ryo’s frozen for a moment.

“What?” Ryo manages to pull back.

“I’ve found a place to stay in a city and have plans-something I wanted to do for a long time.”

“No!” Ryo says sternly.

“No?” Tackey sounds confused.

Ryo pleads and begs. Tackey and Tsubasa love each other, right? They were supposed to be the perfect parents. Tackey just needs to stay with Tsubasa. Why does Tackey think he would be cool with this?

“I don’t want things to be shitty and broken for this baby like everyone else’s family!” Ryo shouts. The baby will make Tsubasa happy; things will be good again.

“I don’t even know if I am ready to be a father. The baby won’t fix everything,” Tackey says angrily.

“But you’re old!” Ryo’s legs are shaking.

He just can’t wrap his mind around it. Why is Tackey asking him how he sees him, what he thinks of him? Why is he leaving? This seems like it is all Ryo’s fault. Oh god. Tackey can’t just stop loving Tsubasa. Or he can love him again. Jin always comes back to Nakamaru too, so it’s possible. This can’t be happening. It’s all wrong.

“You’re just not trying hard enough,” Ryo says to Tackey. If this is his fault, he can fix it.

“You’re so young,” Tackey mutters.

“Just please, do not leave Tsubasa. Stay with the person you have chosen to be with for the rest of your life.” Ryo would beg on his knees, but it is so damn hard to kneel when one is over eight months pregnant.

“You don’t understand,” Tackey keeps going on.

“I’m not that young. I’m sixteen. I’m old enough to know when someone is acting like a complete asshole,” Ryo replies angrily. He picks up his jacket. “Oh, and you know what? I bought another SMAP album because you like them so much and it sucks! It’s just noise.”

Ryo storms out of the room, wants to get out of there. So of course he runs right into Tsubasa.

“What is wrong? Why are you crying?” Tsubasa seems to notice way too fast.

“I’m not crying. I’m just allergic to bright white kitchen furniture,” Ryo says and starts to leave again, but Tsubasa stops him.

“What is the matter?” he booms and looks sharply at Tackey coming to the kitchen.

“He’s just a little hormonal. You know, it’s a part of the process,” Tackey says calmly.

“What did you do?” Tsubasa crosses his arms on his chest.

Ryo stands there while Tackey says they’re not ready and Tsubasa lists all the things they’ve done. They’re prepared. But Tackey is not ready. Ryo really needs to get out of there.

“He’s just got cold feet,” Tsubasa continues to explain. But it doesn’t matter what books say because Ryo knows Tackey wants to leave Tsubasa, and he calls Ryo a ticking clock, and Tsubasa tells Tackey to grow up.

“There are just things I still want to do.”

“Like what? Be a rock star?”

“Don’t mock me!”

“If I have to wait for you to become the next Gackt, I am never going to be a parent.” Tsubasa says it so quietly that Ryo almost doesn’t catch it over the sound coming from outside as he opens the door.

“I never said I’d be a good father.”

Ryo shuts the door behind himself loudly. He is shaking so much that he has to stop the car on his way home. He won’t cry. There’s no use crying. But he needs to calm down; he needs to just breathe. Nothing is perfect. Of course something was going to go wrong.

After staring into the window of a fast-food place by which Ryo stopped to buy something delicious and unhealthy until it gets dark outside, Ryo finally manages to think again. Nothing has changed for him. He’s still sixteen and can’t raise a child. He also still remembers how much Tsubasa already seemed to have loved this baby. He wonders how much has changed for Tsubasa. For the person who petted and talked to his stomach, who has everything ready and who represents the picture perfect of a parent that won’t ever abandon his child and send it a cactus every Valentine’s day like Ryo’s mother have done. Ryo figures things might have been too perfect until now. Now this is more like reality.

All Ryo can find in the back of the car is an old receipt from cleaning and his little sister’s blue crayon.

[Did you find a place to stay yet? Tsubasa asks.

“Yeah, downtown. It’s a loft,” Tackey leans in a doorway to the dining room.

“Aren’t you the cool guy,” Tsubasa says back, doing his best to sound ironic.

Then:

“I wanted a baby so bad.”

They hear someone knocking on their front door.]

Ryo knocks on the door, drops the paper down and gets out of there as soon as he can. Hopefully Tsubasa will figure it out.

Ryo has never appreciated being home as much as he does now, when it feels like he had spent a long time in a completely different place.

His dad is sitting in the kitchen. “Where have you been?” he asks Ryo.

“Just out, dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.” Ryo takes a water bottle out of the fridge and wonders how much his pride can take; if he can have the unmanly talk with his father about life, feelings and forevers.

But his father seems to know him well. “What’s eating you?” he questions.

“Just losing my faith in humanity.” Ryo slides down to a chair.

“Can you narrow that down for me a bit?” His dad cracks up.

This is embarrassing. “I just want to know if two people can . . . stay together.” Ryo gets out. The screwdriver in his dad’s hand slips a little. At least Ryo is not the only one founding this awkward. “Two people in love I mean,” he specifies, swearing this is the first and the last time he is asking his father about something like this.

“Ryo, I got to be honest with you, I don’t think I approve of you dating in your condition. That’s kind of messed up.” His dad says, eyebrows raising high.

“No, just . . .” Oh hell no, he can’t do this. “Forget it, never happened. I did not just ask my father for love advice,” Ryo says and wants to get up. His father is laughing a little.

“Look at you being all manly,” he says, then puts the screwdriver down. “It’s not easy, and I know I don’t have the best track record, but . . .” he starts.

Ryo nods. He just needs to know. If it is possible, if people can do it, stick together because they fell in love with each other.

“Look, in my opinion, the best you can do is find a person who will love you for exactly who you are. Pretty or ugly, mood swings, crazy shit like teenage pregnancies and eccentric ideas, the right person is still going to think that the sun shines out of your ass. Now that is the person worth holding on to.”

Ryo laughs a little then has no idea what to say. He pulls soft threads out of the table cloth in the silence that settles over them. His dad goes back to fixing things. Ryo realizes that, just maybe, he has found that person.

“I’m going to go out for a bit. I promise I’ll be back soon,” he says suddenly.

His dad smiles. “If anyone asks, you didn’t hear a thing from me,” he shouts after Ryo. “It wouldn’t do for me to be called mushy because my son got pregnant and hormonal!”

Ryo calls Jin. “I need your help with something. Get your lazy ass in the gear and meet me in front of my house.”

“I am not moving any more chairs,” Jin warns him.

“It’s not like you could pick anything up. I did all the work.”

*

Shige has an early Track & Field practice. He quickly pulls his yellow shorts on and runs out the door. When he looks down to check if his socks are pulled up properly, he notices someone wrote on the door step.

Check out the mailbox.

It’s full of orange Tic-Tac boxes that spill all over his feet. He quickly turns inside to get something to hide them in before anyone could steal any. This is much better thing to wake up to than a living room set on his lawn.

When Shige sees Ryo walking across the track field, he doesn’t stop running, only changes direction to meet him half way.

“So, were Tic-Tacs on sale last night?” he asks, smiling at Ryo, hoping this means he is not angry anymore.

“Yeah, they were giving them away for free, so I figured I could do a good deed.” Ryo smiles back.

“Why?” Shige breathes out.

“Well,” Ryo fidgets. “You know, they’re your favorite, and you can never have enough of breath mints with just one calorie,”

“Thanks,” Shige laugh. “I think I’m pretty much set until college now.”

“Shige,” Ryo says and stands on his toes for a moment. It feels like he is gathering all of his courage. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch-”

“It’s okay,” Shige interrupts him. It is okay, and the Tic-Tacs were enough of an apology really. So, “It’s okay.”

“And also,” Ryo says loudly then stops. He is looking at his shoes, and Shige has no clue what he is going to say. He wants to hug him though because he is looking small again. But then people would stare, and Ryo seems to mind these days.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Ryo looks up into Shige’s eyes.

Shige’s brain freezes for a moment. “You mean as friends?” That was probably one of the stupidest reactions he could have had.

“No,” Ryo punches him in the shoulder. “I mean for real.”

Shige stares. Ryo apparently takes it as a sign that he needs to explain. Maybe he thinks Shige doesn’t understand. Frankly, Shige just doesn’t know what just happened.

“You are like naturally smart, and you can be cool without trying, you know sometimes-”

“I try really hard actually,” Shige admits. But Ryo doesn’t stop talking.

“You’re not like everyone else; you look at my face instead of my stomach, and every time I see you, my baby starts kicking super hard,” Ryo finishes.

Shige remembers the moment at the mall, how Tsubasa got to feel it. “Really?” he asks.

“Yeah,” and Ryo pulls at his hand, and now Shige can feel it, through all of his clothes. Ryo’s hand is still over his on his stomach, and that is complete crazy.

“I think,” Ryo blushes. Shige thinks it’s cute and maybe he could tell Ryo this time, “I think it’s because my heart starts beating really fast every time I see you,” Ryo whispers, looking at their hands on his stomach.

Shige is blushing too, so he opts for not talking about people being cute. “Mine too,” he rushes to say.

Ryo gives him a smug smile. “You’re golden, man.”

Shige figures their moment is over. Though Ryo keeps looking at him, and the baby keeps kicking underneath his fingers.

“Can we make out now?” Shige blurts out.

“Yeah,” Ryo grins at him and leans closer.

Shige has to bend down to kiss him, and Ryo’s stomach is in the way, so hugging him is completely awkward, but Ryo totally runs his tongue across Shige’s lips, and it makes Shige try harder. Before he closes his eyes, he sees Kamenashi kicking the nonexistent stone and scowling at them from afar, and he would like to laugh in his face, but he is busy sucking at Ryo’s tongue, and that is so much better.

“Hey, you know you could go into early labor sucking face like that!” Shige hears Jin shouting from over where cheerleaders are trying to build their first human pyramid of the season. He is pretty sure Ryo flips him off. Shige just pulls Ryo closer.

Ryo doesn’t tell him when his C-section is scheduled. But he is not there for Shige’s next meet despite knowing how important it was, so Shige never stops and runs from the finish line straight to the hospital.

“That was so cool,” Jin announces when he sees Shige. He is reading magazines in the waiting room. “Though we might have broken a wheel chair,” he giggles. “I was cheering Ryo on instead of you too,” he says smugly.

“How’s Ryo?” Shige asks; he can’t be surprised by the fact Jin actually watched the whole C-section happen.

“He is fine; a bit sore since the Spinal Tab already wore off,” Jin says.

“It’s called spinal block,” Shige notes and heads where Jin’s pointing.

Ryo is lying on the bed, pale and looking tired, and his dad is sitting next to him, patting his shoulder a bit awkwardly.

“Nice legs,” Ryo says when he sees Shige. Shige looks at Ryo’s father. They’ve never talked about this all-Ryo doing things on his own, and he tries to look at him so that it is clear he is sorry for causing all this trouble.

Ryo’s father only stands up and leaves, squeezing Shige’s shoulder on the way. Shige comes close to Ryo but has nothing to say, doesn’t think he could say anything to make it better. He walks around the bed and folds himself onto it, wrapping his arms around Ryo from behind. The nurse might kill him for not even taking his shoes off, but he makes sure they are sticking out of the bed. Ryo trembles, and he might be crying. Shige just runs his hand through his hair, holding onto him until it all goes away. It is all over, and all Ryo needs now is a good rest and hopefully a bit of Shige too.

Shige could go and see the baby but he decides not to. Ryo doesn’t go either. They both somehow feel he isn’t really theirs, theirs to see. He’s always been his . . .

[Would you like to meet your son?” the nurse asks Tsubasa, who is watching the babies through the glass of the nursery window.

“I have a son,” Tsubasa says, dazed, and walks in, taking the baby from the nurse carefully. It’s small, has a perfect nose and tiny fingernails and looks at Tsubasa with big eyes. Then he yawns, and Tsubasa can’t stop staring.

“How do I look?” Tsubasa asks when he notices Ryo’s step mother in the nursery doorway.

“Like a new parent. Scared shitless.”

Tsubasa nods and goes back to looking at his baby.]

Ryo’s allergy to dogs’ saliva disappeared. Apparently that too is one of the things pregnancies may lead to. His step mother got her Weimaraners, three of them. Shige keeps on trying hard to be the most perfect boyfriend out there. He must be doing something right because he totally heard Ryo telling Jin that he is the cheese to Ryo’s macaroni. Shige wonders if Ryo’s hormones never really got back to normal because of how cheesy he can be sometimes when he forgets himself. But then Ryo comes by, and they play guitars and kiss, and Ryo even forgets to ogle the other track team members as they run in their golden yellow shorts.

It ended with a chair. It was a new one, wooden, stylish, rocking one. Ryo saw it ready in Tsubasa’s house when he went there while pregnant. Now it must be standing near the window, a blanket thrown over the hand rest, ready to rock the baby’s world.

[The wall where their family picture was supposed to be didn’t stay empty. Tsubasa did his best to straighten out the receipt that Ryo had written on over a month ago. He bought a nice frame and put it up. It was meant to be that way.

‘Tsubasa,

If you are still in,
I’m still in.

Ryo.’]