Things That Are Not Cool

[redstapler]

In my previous post, I linked to the Dragon*Con shenanigans.

The thing that I kept seeing in a lot of the comments were sentence fragments like, "I wasn't even showing much skin" or "I was totally covered" or "I had been wearing a far skimpier costume earlier..."

WHAT YOU WEAR DOES NOT EXCUSE SHITBAGGERY DIRECTED AT YOU BY OTHER HUMANS.It's

Comments

[stacyinthecity]

I had that natural reaction after I was sexually harassed/assaulted/who knows on the subway. I kept thinking to myself, "I wasn't wearing THAT short a skirt... my neckline wasn't THAT low..." and each time I had to correct myself and say, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what I wore. It is never an excuse to be sexually harassed. It is not my fault!

[firynze]

WOW. The fact that the victims themselves are saying this...talk about internalizing negative messages. This makes me so, so sad.

[sidewinder]

I feel physically ill after reading about what happened at D*C. Ugh. I did see an awful lot of football people around and wondered what the hell was going on with that.

[redstapler]

It's a big SEC football weekend. I've seen a lot of football fans around the two times I've been to D*C, but I heard it was especially bad this year.

[brewsternorth]

Someone at your second link pointed out that PBS had filmed a documentary about D*C, so it was more likely that Joe Public would pay attention to/point and laugh at the fannish weirdos this year rather than previous years.

[sidewinder]

It definitely was way worse than past years with the footballers

[iolarah]

Thank you. I was just reading those posts and cringing every time one of the posters mentioned what they were wearing. It doesn't matter what you're wearing. Nobody has the right to treat someone like that.

[rm]

Yes, about the clothing

[redstapler]

For many of us, there isn't time if we haven't been irrevocably damaged, and it allows predators and assholes to keep being predators and assholes.Agreed. I confess, I have a silly hope that as more people come forward with these complaints, the convention will address it. Even a token acknowledgment like a clearer anti-harassment policy, in writing, in the con book would be a good start. There's too many people to control this shit easily, but I refuse to accept that it can't be done

[rm]

Yeah. I mean my experience was with con-goers, and I do have to say I actively saw hotel security trying to keep people out of hotels who did not have room keys or badges. Of course, with two events that attract wildly different demographics happening over the same weekend, there's a problem.

A clear sexual-harassment policy would help people know that if they complained they would be listened to (i.e., I wouldn't worry about being a diva guest, someone else would be less likely worry about their clothing impacting whether their complaint was accepted). And I definitely support people's independent measures, i.e., the "back-up" ribbons to say "if you're in trouble, I will do what I can to help.

[sidewinder]

Also, I get the sense that there are a lot of D*C attendees who aren't in fandom, but came to it through other channels. Those people would have no idea what the climate of the culture would be.

Oh, indeed. Even Dr. D is an example of this. I keep having to school him on What Is and What Isn't Okay To Do At Dragon*Con as Mr. Typical Mundane Ultra-HeteroMan.