So it goes. I am sorry for your loss. I am sure you have heard that enough times. The words themselves are empty.
She will never go away. Her print on your life will not fade. Nobody will replace her. And I'm sure you want none of those things. Neither will the sadness be erased by joy. But that doesn't mean there can't be joy, can't still be something different that will also add to your life in new ways.
It doesn't have to happen now.
Sometimes, hanging on to the soft part of yourself takes fighting. It takes active effort and mindfulness. Whether because of circumstances like yours, or simply in defense against a society that discourages it. But I am sure it is worth it. I'm SURE it is.
Thank youpointedviewSeptember 7 2014, 04:14:07 UTC
For what it's worth, I'm really grateful for your entries. Thank you for sharing your process with us -- you have done good that you may not have anticipated: my mother died on August 12th (you may already know this from my posts as pointedview on Twitter, but just in case), and your posts may help me better understand what my father is feeling as he begins to come to terms with the empty house where his beloved wife no longer resides.
Re: Thank youredredrageSeptember 7 2014, 05:31:37 UTC
You are more than welcome.
I've considered deleting the entire thing a few times, but I've had enough people actively thank me thatI decided instead to leave these essays up, and to even link them on my website. and if they've helped, than I can only be delighted to see some good come from my ramblings.
You have my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother, and your father has my sympathies. All the very best,
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She will never go away. Her print on your life will not fade. Nobody will replace her. And I'm sure you want none of those things. Neither will the sadness be erased by joy. But that doesn't mean there can't be joy, can't still be something different that will also add to your life in new ways.
It doesn't have to happen now.
Sometimes, hanging on to the soft part of yourself takes fighting. It takes active effort and mindfulness. Whether because of circumstances like yours, or simply in defense against a society that discourages it. But I am sure it is worth it. I'm SURE it is.
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But as I have said before, I was built for comfort and not for speed. When/if it happens, so be it. Until then I take it one day at a time.
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Everyone should learn to live life for themselves, not just for romantic love. Even if tragedy is not involved.
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I've considered deleting the entire thing a few times, but I've had enough people actively thank me thatI decided instead to leave these essays up, and to even link them on my website. and if they've helped, than I can only be delighted to see some good come from my ramblings.
You have my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother, and your father has my sympathies.
All the very best,
Jim
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