Books, Glitter, and Hearts of Foam 11/?
Title: Books, Glitter and Hearts of Foam 11/?
Rating: R
Summary: Adam opens up a little to Kris about his fear of performing.
Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, violence, and hospitalization.
Notes: Next chapter comes the Halloween date, which will probably be in both points of view, if brain cooperates. :)
Adam smiled down at Kris, brushing his hair lightly as the younger man slept. It was only two more days until Halloween, and Adam found himself waking up more and more just thinking of what was coming that day.
He flipped open his phone again and looked through his messages until he got to a certain one. He chewed on his lip as he read over the text from his brother, saying simply that he’d be back Halloween and to meet him at Ryan’s. Ryan’s being the café that he’d invited Kris to Halloween day that also hosted an open mic every Halloween.
He was nervous to get back on stage, it was bad enough just singing alone for Kris. He hated that he couldn’t perform like he used to; he remembered days he’d get lost in the music for hours, an hour long set turning to two or three if his voice cooperated. Now every time he’d sing louder than a whisper, even with no one else in the room, he panicked. All those memories of that night came flooding back in painful detail and-
“Ow… Adam…” Kris groaned, and he looked down to see his hand fisted in brown hair, Kris’ face scrunched up in pain.
“Oh… sorry.” He slowly unclenched his hand, fingers stroking the spot until Kris relaxed back into the pillow.
“Adam?” He focused back on Kris again, his hand still absently petting his head. “What were you thinking about?” He frowned, grabbing Adam’s hand from his hair to lace his fingers through, his thumb stroking along freckled knuckles. “You looked scared.”
Adam shook his head, drawing in a quick breath and smiling. “I’m fine.” He leaned forward to press a kiss to Kris’ temple, then a long, deep kiss to his lips. “Nothing to worry about.” Judging from the looked Kris gave him he knew he wasn’t going to get off that easy. He sighed and settled back in the bed, hand squeezing Kris’ a little too tightly. “It’s about… when I used to sing all the time.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the way Kris would look at him. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if Kris looked at him the same as everyone else did when they found out. “I’m a little nervous about the open mic…”
He opened his eyes as he felt Kris’ hand squeeze his, seeing brown eyes shining in support and love instead of pity. He smiled slightly and moved closer to Kris, sighing contentedly when small arms wrapped around him and he was cocooned as best Kris could manage. “You’re going to be fine.” He shivered under the rain of butterfly kisses along his face, Kris’ breath tickling his skin with each word. “I’ll be there with you, and I’ll have my guitar so if anyone even tries booing you off the stage or something, I’ll beat them up.”
He huffed out a laugh. Kris didn’t really get what was wrong; he wasn’t nervous about the singing part or people not liking it, he didn’t care about that. “Thanks…” He nuzzled into his spot between Kris’ chin and chest, lips brushing against the dip in his collarbone. He considered for a few moments just telling Kris, he knew he’d have to eventually and maybe this would be better to just get it over with. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of Kris mingled with his own shampoo and fabric softener. He closed his eyes then pulled away a bit. “Kris?”
“Hmm?“ He didn’t open his eyes, afraid of the look on Kris’ face, but he could hear the concern in his voice. He swallowed and pulled himself into his Kris cocoon again, stalling until Kris nudged him again.
He sighed and opened his eyes enough to see Kris’ chest through his lashes. “I want to tell you what happened.” He squeeze Kris a bit tighter when he felt him shift. “Stay like this… Please.” He waited until he felt Kris nodding against his hair then closed his eyes again. “I never really came out to anyone in the band, officially, anyway.” He muttered, hoping Kris could hear him well enough. “I figured they all already knew, but apparently one of them didn’t…” The image of the man he considered his friend flashed across his mind; dark brown hair, light eyes filled with disgust and rage, wooden bat in his hand.
He inhaled deeply, squeezing Kris to him and concentrating on him. “I started dating someone, his brother. He was livid, said that I turned his brother gay and stormed out of rehearsal when I told him.” He took another, shuddering breath, relaxing a little when Kris’ hands stroked along his back. “We thought that was the end of it, but he waited until everyone else left, leaving just his brother and myself, and when we left together he jumped us. His brother ran off while he…” He swallowed, shaking his head slightly.
“It’s fine, Adam.” Kris’ voice was small, soothing, liquid calm rushing through his veins. He slumped into Kris’ arms and sighed as calloused hands massaged through his hair. “What happened after that?” He paused for a second. “If you’re alright with telling me.”
He nodded slowly, letting the calm of Kris’ voice and magic hands coax him through the minefield of memories in his head. “I don’t remember much from… that. I remember waking up in a hospital, everything hurt. I had a concussion, needed… I don’t know how many stitches…” He flinched slightly as Kris’ fingers prodded the small scar at the back of his head, feeling Kris’ lips frown against his forehead. “I had a broken arm and one of my ribs was fractured.” He sighed. “Apparently Tommy forgot his picks and when he came back to get them he saw me in the alley.” He felt Kris’ fingers tighten in his hair for a moment, the crooked jaw tensing against his skin. “Silas visited just to break up with me and my brother…” He trailed off, hands relaxing their grip on Kris as he smiled slightly. “Neil was there for me as soon as he heard, he stayed as long as his job would let him, taking care of me when I was released until he had to go back.”
Adam left off on that point, feeling lighter than he did before. Kris listened without seeming to pity him or anything, just acting as a crutch as he talked. He’d only really told two other people, and they just gave him these looks that made him feel like nothing. He sighed and buried himself into Kris, opening himself up to let him in. He huffed out a laugh against his skin. He’d let Kris in, after staying emotionally closed off of everyone around him for six years.
“What’re you laughing about?” Kris muttered, pulling away just enough to look at Adam’s face. Finally, Adam opened his eyes fully and smiled when he saw those wonderful brown eyes, still filled with so much love it made his heart start to ache.
“Just…” He shook his head, laughing a little more. “It feels good to let someone in, you know?”
Kris absolutely beamed at that. He giggled, peppering Adam’s skin with kisses again before he shifted so his face settled into Adam’s neck. That same peaceful quiet settled over them for a few moments before Kris spoke up again. “Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“I really, really love you.” Adam’s heart started beating double time, hammering so hard it was almost difficult to breathe. “Thank you.”
He blinked, the hands just starting to card through fluffy brown hair pausing. “For what?”
Kris chuckled lightly. “For letting me in.”
Adam smiled, twirling a few of the longer strands in his fingers as the quiet crept in again. This time, Adam spoke, pausing his hands for a moment. “Kris?”
“Hmm?”
“I really, really love you, too.”
Kris squeaked happily, and they glanced at each other with ridiculous smiles on their faces before bursting into laughter, destroying any tension that could’ve been lingering between them.
Rating: R
Summary: Adam opens up a little to Kris about his fear of performing.
Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, violence, and hospitalization.
Notes: Next chapter comes the Halloween date, which will probably be in both points of view, if brain cooperates. :)
Adam smiled down at Kris, brushing his hair lightly as the younger man slept. It was only two more days until Halloween, and Adam found himself waking up more and more just thinking of what was coming that day.
He flipped open his phone again and looked through his messages until he got to a certain one. He chewed on his lip as he read over the text from his brother, saying simply that he’d be back Halloween and to meet him at Ryan’s. Ryan’s being the café that he’d invited Kris to Halloween day that also hosted an open mic every Halloween.
He was nervous to get back on stage, it was bad enough just singing alone for Kris. He hated that he couldn’t perform like he used to; he remembered days he’d get lost in the music for hours, an hour long set turning to two or three if his voice cooperated. Now every time he’d sing louder than a whisper, even with no one else in the room, he panicked. All those memories of that night came flooding back in painful detail and-
“Ow… Adam…” Kris groaned, and he looked down to see his hand fisted in brown hair, Kris’ face scrunched up in pain.
“Oh… sorry.” He slowly unclenched his hand, fingers stroking the spot until Kris relaxed back into the pillow.
“Adam?” He focused back on Kris again, his hand still absently petting his head. “What were you thinking about?” He frowned, grabbing Adam’s hand from his hair to lace his fingers through, his thumb stroking along freckled knuckles. “You looked scared.”
Adam shook his head, drawing in a quick breath and smiling. “I’m fine.” He leaned forward to press a kiss to Kris’ temple, then a long, deep kiss to his lips. “Nothing to worry about.” Judging from the looked Kris gave him he knew he wasn’t going to get off that easy. He sighed and settled back in the bed, hand squeezing Kris’ a little too tightly. “It’s about… when I used to sing all the time.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the way Kris would look at him. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if Kris looked at him the same as everyone else did when they found out. “I’m a little nervous about the open mic…”
He opened his eyes as he felt Kris’ hand squeeze his, seeing brown eyes shining in support and love instead of pity. He smiled slightly and moved closer to Kris, sighing contentedly when small arms wrapped around him and he was cocooned as best Kris could manage. “You’re going to be fine.” He shivered under the rain of butterfly kisses along his face, Kris’ breath tickling his skin with each word. “I’ll be there with you, and I’ll have my guitar so if anyone even tries booing you off the stage or something, I’ll beat them up.”
He huffed out a laugh. Kris didn’t really get what was wrong; he wasn’t nervous about the singing part or people not liking it, he didn’t care about that. “Thanks…” He nuzzled into his spot between Kris’ chin and chest, lips brushing against the dip in his collarbone. He considered for a few moments just telling Kris, he knew he’d have to eventually and maybe this would be better to just get it over with. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of Kris mingled with his own shampoo and fabric softener. He closed his eyes then pulled away a bit. “Kris?”
“Hmm?“ He didn’t open his eyes, afraid of the look on Kris’ face, but he could hear the concern in his voice. He swallowed and pulled himself into his Kris cocoon again, stalling until Kris nudged him again.
He sighed and opened his eyes enough to see Kris’ chest through his lashes. “I want to tell you what happened.” He squeeze Kris a bit tighter when he felt him shift. “Stay like this… Please.” He waited until he felt Kris nodding against his hair then closed his eyes again. “I never really came out to anyone in the band, officially, anyway.” He muttered, hoping Kris could hear him well enough. “I figured they all already knew, but apparently one of them didn’t…” The image of the man he considered his friend flashed across his mind; dark brown hair, light eyes filled with disgust and rage, wooden bat in his hand.
He inhaled deeply, squeezing Kris to him and concentrating on him. “I started dating someone, his brother. He was livid, said that I turned his brother gay and stormed out of rehearsal when I told him.” He took another, shuddering breath, relaxing a little when Kris’ hands stroked along his back. “We thought that was the end of it, but he waited until everyone else left, leaving just his brother and myself, and when we left together he jumped us. His brother ran off while he…” He swallowed, shaking his head slightly.
“It’s fine, Adam.” Kris’ voice was small, soothing, liquid calm rushing through his veins. He slumped into Kris’ arms and sighed as calloused hands massaged through his hair. “What happened after that?” He paused for a second. “If you’re alright with telling me.”
He nodded slowly, letting the calm of Kris’ voice and magic hands coax him through the minefield of memories in his head. “I don’t remember much from… that. I remember waking up in a hospital, everything hurt. I had a concussion, needed… I don’t know how many stitches…” He flinched slightly as Kris’ fingers prodded the small scar at the back of his head, feeling Kris’ lips frown against his forehead. “I had a broken arm and one of my ribs was fractured.” He sighed. “Apparently Tommy forgot his picks and when he came back to get them he saw me in the alley.” He felt Kris’ fingers tighten in his hair for a moment, the crooked jaw tensing against his skin. “Silas visited just to break up with me and my brother…” He trailed off, hands relaxing their grip on Kris as he smiled slightly. “Neil was there for me as soon as he heard, he stayed as long as his job would let him, taking care of me when I was released until he had to go back.”
Adam left off on that point, feeling lighter than he did before. Kris listened without seeming to pity him or anything, just acting as a crutch as he talked. He’d only really told two other people, and they just gave him these looks that made him feel like nothing. He sighed and buried himself into Kris, opening himself up to let him in. He huffed out a laugh against his skin. He’d let Kris in, after staying emotionally closed off of everyone around him for six years.
“What’re you laughing about?” Kris muttered, pulling away just enough to look at Adam’s face. Finally, Adam opened his eyes fully and smiled when he saw those wonderful brown eyes, still filled with so much love it made his heart start to ache.
“Just…” He shook his head, laughing a little more. “It feels good to let someone in, you know?”
Kris absolutely beamed at that. He giggled, peppering Adam’s skin with kisses again before he shifted so his face settled into Adam’s neck. That same peaceful quiet settled over them for a few moments before Kris spoke up again. “Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“I really, really love you.” Adam’s heart started beating double time, hammering so hard it was almost difficult to breathe. “Thank you.”
He blinked, the hands just starting to card through fluffy brown hair pausing. “For what?”
Kris chuckled lightly. “For letting me in.”
Adam smiled, twirling a few of the longer strands in his fingers as the quiet crept in again. This time, Adam spoke, pausing his hands for a moment. “Kris?”
“Hmm?”
“I really, really love you, too.”
Kris squeaked happily, and they glanced at each other with ridiculous smiles on their faces before bursting into laughter, destroying any tension that could’ve been lingering between them.