Lessons In Distraction - Heroes/Torchwood crossover [Peter/Hiro]
Title: Lessons in Distraction, or The Difficulties Encountered During Sex With a Teleporter, and Captains Who Can't Keep Their Hands To Themselves.
Fandom: Heroes/Torchwood
Pairing: Peter/Hiro, one-sided Peter/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Written on a whim. Dedicated to darkenglishrose, who also came up with the titles.
Summary: Hiro had a horrible habit of teleporting in the most inopportune moments.
Okay, so suddenly being in the middle of an expanse of some kind of strange public square with his hand down Hiro's pants had not been part of Peter Petrelli's scheduled fun. These things were to be expected once in a while, however, and it certainly wasn't the first time they had ended up a long way from home in the middle of sex.
Only they hadn't even got to the middle, yet.
"Hiro, seriously, couldn't you have waited 'til at least once of us had come?" he whined playfully and pulled out his hand. He hadn't even got his own fly unzipped.
"I am sorry," said Hiro earnestly as he tucked himself back in. "Sometimes it just happens."
Peter took a moment to survey the area. It wasn't as unusual as the time they had catapulted back into seventeenth century France; it had taken Hiro two full days to get them out of there, that time. There was a river a few feet away, and a large tower with water cascading down it. Behind them, there was a large building with words both in English and some other vaguely familiar language across it. He studied them for a minute, a frown deepening beneath his floppy fringe. "Where are we?"
"Cardiff," came the reply to the left of them. Hiro squeaked like a little child and stood in front of Peter, waving his arms protectively. It was a tall, dark-haired man with striking features and a definite American accent. He grinned at them with a mouth full of perfect teeth. "Are you lost?"
"No," said Peter quickly, stepping around to Hiro's side. He flashed the stranger a casual smile. "We've just got a bit confused, that's all."
"Is Cardiff in America?" asked Hiro, looking earnestly at Peter and sliding his glasses back up his nose from where they'd started to slip. "That man is American, yes?"
"Cardiff is in Wales," replied the stranger. He had stepped a little bit closer, but not in a menacing way; his hands were stuffed in the pockets of his greatcoat and he still hadn't lost that smile. "Funny how you wouldn't know that, what with being here and all."
"Like I say, we're just confused," said Peter defensively. "You haven't exactly got the Welsh accent. And sorry, but we've got to get back. Thanks for your help."
He took Hiro's hand and tugged on it, guiding them away, but the man followed, speaking as casually as before. "Do you happen to know what year it is?"
"Of course we do," said Peter. "What sort of question is that?"
Hiro's eyes had widened just a touch at the question, and Peter started to walk a little quicker. The man didn't give up, though. "So what year is it?"
"Look, we really do have to go."
"Tell me the year and I'll leave you alone," promised the stranger.
"Peter," whispered Hiro. "I think he knows something!"
"You're right," said the man. "I do. Now are you going to come quietly with me or do I have to get back-up?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Peter, but there was a panicked look in his eyes. He was nudging Hiro repeatedly in the ribs. The shorter man didn't seem to be getting the message to get them the hell out of there, choosing instead to bounce a step away and glare angrily. Peter tried again, speaking every word slowly and clearly. "Hiro. I think it's time we left."
"Oh! I get it!" said Hiro. A second later and he was grabbing Peter's hand again, a tight grip as he screwed up his face in that adorable way that always made Peter want to push him down and...
No. That was the sort of thinking that had got them into this mess. He quickly stopped those thoughts and glanced at the strange man, who was now talking into his wrist.
Peter began to look concerned after a moment when Hiro still looked utterly constipated. "Hiro? Are you..."
"It is not working."
"Why not?"
"I cannot control it fully yet," he explained. "Sometimes it works and sometimes..."
"We get stuck. Right," said Peter, his voice quiet. There was a small group of people heading towards them from the tower, as though they had appeared from nowhere. Jack was watching them. He tried to teleport them himself.
He just ended twenty feet to the left and two seconds in the past. He looked up just in time to see the other him teleport away.
"That was weird," he said, but he didn't really have the chance to say much more because he had teleported them right in front of the advancing group of people. One of them had a gun held up.
The last thing he heard was Hiro's high-pitched scream.
---
"What the hell was that?" asked Peter drowsily.
"Tranq gun," said the thin-lipped man above him, who was unceremoniously tugging the dart out of his shoulder. "Bit low-tech but we weren't really sure what to expect. Odd, though..."
"What is?"
"You've only been out twenty minutes. I shot you full of enough to keep a Weevil down for an hour," he said. He checked a screen to his side. "Really fucking odd because there's not a trace of it left in you. And... the puncture wound..."
"I have an unusually short recovery time," said Peter. Already, his mind was clearing up. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, alarmed. "Where's Hiro? Where am I?"
"Torchwood three. I'm Dr. Owen Harper," he said. "I'd shake your hand but I'm pretty sure you'd just try to punch me. Your boyfriend is with Toshiko, geeking out in Japanese over some gadget he found."
"Toshiko? Torchwood?" parroted Peter. He pressed a hand to his head. There should have been a headache. He was sure he could feel the big gap where the pain would be if he wasn't so good at not hurting. "What the hell is going on and why did you shoot me with a tranq gun?"
"Because we thought you two had come through the rift," explained Owen, with the cocky air of someone who really didn't give a toss if he was confusing anyone. "Thought you could be aliens after that duplication stunt you pulled."
"It wasn't duplication. I can't do that," he replied. "I mean, it'd be cool, but I don't think I've met anyone who can clone."
Owen looked a bit confused himself, there. "What exactly are you?"
"Me?" asked Peter. He looked up at the man with a shark-like grin. "Oh, I'm just special."
And then he disappeared.
---
Unfortunately, he didn't really get very far. The moment he had found his way into what he assumed was the main base, someone to his side grabbed his arm with such precision that it startled Peter out of his concentration.
A woman nearby yelped as he reappeared.
"In a place with as much security as this, do you really think we wouldn't be able to detect an invisible guy?" asked the guy beside him. It was the man who had stopped them. He tried to tug away, but he was pretty strong. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."
He didn't seem to want to let go, though. Peter scowled. "Where's Hiro?"
"Over there," said the man. "But aren't you going to introduce yourself to me? I'm Captain Jack Harkness."
"Just let me go," Peter said. "I need to talk to Hiro."
"Okay," he said. Peter was fairly sure this Harkness' hand had brushed over his ass on it's way down, but he let it pass and began to trot towards Hiro. "Though that boyfriend of yours has already explained pretty much your whole life story to me. And Toshiko there."
"What? In twenty minutes?" asked Peter, incredulously pausing for a moment. "Is that even possible?"
"He speaks really, really fast in Japanese," said a feminine voice. He turned and the woman who had been keeping Hiro entertained with geekery was there, Hiro just a step behind. She held out her hand, and as Peter shook it confoundedly, she smiled. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Petrelli. My name is Toshiko Sato. Knowing my co-workers, you're probably a bit confused, but you're safe here."
"Peter! They fight aliens!" said Hiro, bouncing up to his side. "Toshiko says that she will take me downstairs to show me her weevil!"
"Actually, Tosh," said Dr. Harper from the doorway, "I've got to run a few more tests on Mr. Nakamura."
"Why?" asked Tosh, an innocent little frown on her face. "They aren't alien, clearly."
"Yeah, well, the boss asked me to," said Owen with a nonchalant shrug.
Jack nodded. "We've got to be careful," he said with his best 'I-know-best' tone and stalked off, pausing momentarily to look over his shoulder. "Mr. Petrelli, can I have a word with you in my office?"
Peter glanced at Hiro and, after a short consideration, decided it was best to play along for now. He followed along with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched just a touch, glancing back every couple of steps to Hiro, who just grinned and waved enthusiastically.
"There is no way Jack isn't going to try it on with that guy," commented Owen offhandedly.
Hiro's face dropped in an instant.
---
Peter emerged from the office pretty soon afterwards and headed straight back for where he himself had awoken. He ignored the people trying to grab his attention, including one handsome man with a suit to whom he had not been introduced. Peter was fairly sure the man was trying to offer him something, but he'd already been offered quite enough in the last while.
"Peter!" cried Hiro, sitting up on the lab table as soon as he caught sight of his significant other. "You are back!"
"I've been trying to convince him that Jack wouldn't molest you," explained Owen, a vial of Hiro's freshly-drawn blood in his hand. "It was pretty hard, seeing as the good Captain isn't exactly an expert at keeping his bits to himself."
"He didn't touch me," Peter said quickly. He looked a little red.
Owen laughed. "He got in a quick grope, didn't he?"
"No," he insisted quickly. He cleared his throat and stepped down the steps to stand at Hiro's side. "Now are you done?"
"Well I've got a few tests to run but he doesn't have to be here for that," said Owen. "Honestly, this is all just for the paperwork anyway. You'll be free to go soon."
"Peter. Why don't we teleport?" asked Hiro, pushing himself off the table with a hand clasped over the little needle wound on the crook of his elbow. "We can go home!"
"If they can sense me when I'm invisible, who knows what else they can do? Besides, look what happened last time they did that. I got shot."
"Why did you not shoot me?" asked Hiro, looking around at Dr. Harper.
"You passed out," laughed Owen. "The moment I shot the bloody gun, you were on the floor. Thought I'd missed for a moment, there, or killed two birds with one stone."
"You passed out?" asked Peter, his voice full of concern. Hiro shrugged, not looking all too bothered about it; Toshiko had appeared in the doorway.
"I'm supposed to keep you two entertained whilst Owen runs the tests," she said. "I though perhaps I could show you the weevil. Like you wanted, Mr. Nakamura."
"Please, call me Hiro," he insisted. "And I would enjoy that. Peter? Do you want to see an alien?"
"Not particularly," he admitted. "But I'll tag along. Just to make sure you don't get eaten or something."
Toshiko looked pleased. "Great. Just follow me."
---
After an uneventful visit to a very lairy, ugly creature in a tiny cell, a wander around some of the more accessible facilities and a long time listening to Hiro and Toshiko talk excitedly in Japanese, Peter was feeling a bit fed up. He was, therefore, rather grateful when the man with the suit approached him, hands in his pockets and a polite smile on his face.
"I was just wondering if you'd like a cup of coffee?"
Peter smiled up from where he sat on the low seat, a few feet away from where the other two were chatting and as far away from Captain Jack Harkness as he could manage without openly running away. "That would be wonderful," he replied. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name...?"
"Ianto Jones, at your service," he replied with a slight incline of his head. "Milk and sugar?"
"Just milk, please," said Peter. He was amused to watch the lithe man practically bounce off to get the hot drinks. "Everyone here is insane," he mumbled to himself.
"Right!" came a cry from the other side of the room. Tosh stopped speaking mid-sentence, looking up as Owen Harper came back into the room brandishing a clipboard. Captain Jack returned to the room with a glass of water in his hand, and Peter barely perceptibly straightened his back and looked away. The doctor strode over to Jack. "Here are the results. To simplify it down to the level of the common idiot, they're human. Actually that's about as complicated as it gets. Fairly conclusive results, these."
Jack frowned, his eyes on the couple across the room. "So they're definitely not aliens."
"Definitely not extra-terrestrial, no," said Owen. "No scrap of E.T. among either of them."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Well, I thought I saw a bit of Klingon in the little one, but..." he paused at the death glare he was receiving from the Captain. "Right. Not the time for sarcasm. Yes, Captain, I am one-hundred percent sure. They're human."
Jack nodded and folded his arms across his chest. After a moment of thoughtful frowning, he moved over to where Ianto was proudly handing Peter a cup of his best coffee while Hiro stood grinning at his side, jabbing at the buttons of a little gadget. "Peter and Hiro. We're keeping you in for observation. You can stay in one of the holding cells until morning."
"What? This isn't a fucking hospital," said Owen. "They don't need observation. Couple of mutated genes. Very exciting for the world at large and all that but not really Torchwood's problem, is it?"
"There could be more to it."
"There isn't," replied the doctor with a shrug. "They're like X-Men or something. You just want to ogle the pretty one."
"You can't just keep us here!" cried Peter. Ianto took the coffee back, fearing an angry flailing of arms. "We're not prisoners!"
"You're staying. And that's final," said Jack.
Owen wandered off grumbling about something that sounded suspiciously like it included 'bloody pervert'.
---
"Peter."
"What?"
"Peter!"
The sleepy man raised his head from the floor, where he was curled up and trying to rest. "What, Hiro? I'm kind of busy trying not to remember exactly how much that make-out session went wrong."
"I am cold," he replied from across the cell. He was sat with his knees bunched up against his chest and his arms tight around them. He looked utterly miserable. Despite all the trouble he had caused, Peter wasn't really very good at holding a grudge. He pushed himself up and scooted over, wrapping Hiro up tightly in his arms.
"We'll get out of here soon," promised Peter. "Maybe we should start groping each other again."
Hiro raised his eyebrows. "But there are cameras."
"And you think that's not what that pervert was hoping for when he put us in here?" he pointed out. "Come on. It worked last time."
"Okay!" said Hiro.
"You're surprisingly easy to convince."
"You are offering sex. It would be rude to turn it down."
Peter tilted his head to kiss softly along Hiro's neck. The man closed his eyes, his breath hitching when soft lips met his earlobe.
And then, abruptly, their surroundings shifted. There was a long pause where Hiro mourned the loss of those lovely warm lips on his skin before Peter stood up and looked around his dark apartment. Somewhere in the future in a far away country, Captain Jack Harkness swore in frustration.
"That... was easier than expected," said Peter, looking a bit bemused. "Check the newspaper."
"It says it is tomorrow," said Hiro, holding it up. He still looked a little flustered, and Peter couldn't help but notice his hand was shaking just slightly. "Thursday the second."
Peter glanced at it. "Closer than we usually get. Now how about we pick up where we left off?" Peter said, the moment he was surrounded by the comfort of his own apartment. "'Cause all that excitement has left me kind of horny."
Hiro grinned sheepishly, but he had no time to reply; Peter was already pushing him onto the bed.
"Oh, and by the way," added Peter offhandedly, "if you teleport us this time, no sex for you for a month."
With a threat like that, Hiro didn't lose concentration for a second.
Fandom: Heroes/Torchwood
Pairing: Peter/Hiro, one-sided Peter/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Written on a whim. Dedicated to darkenglishrose, who also came up with the titles.
Summary: Hiro had a horrible habit of teleporting in the most inopportune moments.
Okay, so suddenly being in the middle of an expanse of some kind of strange public square with his hand down Hiro's pants had not been part of Peter Petrelli's scheduled fun. These things were to be expected once in a while, however, and it certainly wasn't the first time they had ended up a long way from home in the middle of sex.
Only they hadn't even got to the middle, yet.
"Hiro, seriously, couldn't you have waited 'til at least once of us had come?" he whined playfully and pulled out his hand. He hadn't even got his own fly unzipped.
"I am sorry," said Hiro earnestly as he tucked himself back in. "Sometimes it just happens."
Peter took a moment to survey the area. It wasn't as unusual as the time they had catapulted back into seventeenth century France; it had taken Hiro two full days to get them out of there, that time. There was a river a few feet away, and a large tower with water cascading down it. Behind them, there was a large building with words both in English and some other vaguely familiar language across it. He studied them for a minute, a frown deepening beneath his floppy fringe. "Where are we?"
"Cardiff," came the reply to the left of them. Hiro squeaked like a little child and stood in front of Peter, waving his arms protectively. It was a tall, dark-haired man with striking features and a definite American accent. He grinned at them with a mouth full of perfect teeth. "Are you lost?"
"No," said Peter quickly, stepping around to Hiro's side. He flashed the stranger a casual smile. "We've just got a bit confused, that's all."
"Is Cardiff in America?" asked Hiro, looking earnestly at Peter and sliding his glasses back up his nose from where they'd started to slip. "That man is American, yes?"
"Cardiff is in Wales," replied the stranger. He had stepped a little bit closer, but not in a menacing way; his hands were stuffed in the pockets of his greatcoat and he still hadn't lost that smile. "Funny how you wouldn't know that, what with being here and all."
"Like I say, we're just confused," said Peter defensively. "You haven't exactly got the Welsh accent. And sorry, but we've got to get back. Thanks for your help."
He took Hiro's hand and tugged on it, guiding them away, but the man followed, speaking as casually as before. "Do you happen to know what year it is?"
"Of course we do," said Peter. "What sort of question is that?"
Hiro's eyes had widened just a touch at the question, and Peter started to walk a little quicker. The man didn't give up, though. "So what year is it?"
"Look, we really do have to go."
"Tell me the year and I'll leave you alone," promised the stranger.
"Peter," whispered Hiro. "I think he knows something!"
"You're right," said the man. "I do. Now are you going to come quietly with me or do I have to get back-up?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Peter, but there was a panicked look in his eyes. He was nudging Hiro repeatedly in the ribs. The shorter man didn't seem to be getting the message to get them the hell out of there, choosing instead to bounce a step away and glare angrily. Peter tried again, speaking every word slowly and clearly. "Hiro. I think it's time we left."
"Oh! I get it!" said Hiro. A second later and he was grabbing Peter's hand again, a tight grip as he screwed up his face in that adorable way that always made Peter want to push him down and...
No. That was the sort of thinking that had got them into this mess. He quickly stopped those thoughts and glanced at the strange man, who was now talking into his wrist.
Peter began to look concerned after a moment when Hiro still looked utterly constipated. "Hiro? Are you..."
"It is not working."
"Why not?"
"I cannot control it fully yet," he explained. "Sometimes it works and sometimes..."
"We get stuck. Right," said Peter, his voice quiet. There was a small group of people heading towards them from the tower, as though they had appeared from nowhere. Jack was watching them. He tried to teleport them himself.
He just ended twenty feet to the left and two seconds in the past. He looked up just in time to see the other him teleport away.
"That was weird," he said, but he didn't really have the chance to say much more because he had teleported them right in front of the advancing group of people. One of them had a gun held up.
The last thing he heard was Hiro's high-pitched scream.
---
"What the hell was that?" asked Peter drowsily.
"Tranq gun," said the thin-lipped man above him, who was unceremoniously tugging the dart out of his shoulder. "Bit low-tech but we weren't really sure what to expect. Odd, though..."
"What is?"
"You've only been out twenty minutes. I shot you full of enough to keep a Weevil down for an hour," he said. He checked a screen to his side. "Really fucking odd because there's not a trace of it left in you. And... the puncture wound..."
"I have an unusually short recovery time," said Peter. Already, his mind was clearing up. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, alarmed. "Where's Hiro? Where am I?"
"Torchwood three. I'm Dr. Owen Harper," he said. "I'd shake your hand but I'm pretty sure you'd just try to punch me. Your boyfriend is with Toshiko, geeking out in Japanese over some gadget he found."
"Toshiko? Torchwood?" parroted Peter. He pressed a hand to his head. There should have been a headache. He was sure he could feel the big gap where the pain would be if he wasn't so good at not hurting. "What the hell is going on and why did you shoot me with a tranq gun?"
"Because we thought you two had come through the rift," explained Owen, with the cocky air of someone who really didn't give a toss if he was confusing anyone. "Thought you could be aliens after that duplication stunt you pulled."
"It wasn't duplication. I can't do that," he replied. "I mean, it'd be cool, but I don't think I've met anyone who can clone."
Owen looked a bit confused himself, there. "What exactly are you?"
"Me?" asked Peter. He looked up at the man with a shark-like grin. "Oh, I'm just special."
And then he disappeared.
---
Unfortunately, he didn't really get very far. The moment he had found his way into what he assumed was the main base, someone to his side grabbed his arm with such precision that it startled Peter out of his concentration.
A woman nearby yelped as he reappeared.
"In a place with as much security as this, do you really think we wouldn't be able to detect an invisible guy?" asked the guy beside him. It was the man who had stopped them. He tried to tug away, but he was pretty strong. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."
He didn't seem to want to let go, though. Peter scowled. "Where's Hiro?"
"Over there," said the man. "But aren't you going to introduce yourself to me? I'm Captain Jack Harkness."
"Just let me go," Peter said. "I need to talk to Hiro."
"Okay," he said. Peter was fairly sure this Harkness' hand had brushed over his ass on it's way down, but he let it pass and began to trot towards Hiro. "Though that boyfriend of yours has already explained pretty much your whole life story to me. And Toshiko there."
"What? In twenty minutes?" asked Peter, incredulously pausing for a moment. "Is that even possible?"
"He speaks really, really fast in Japanese," said a feminine voice. He turned and the woman who had been keeping Hiro entertained with geekery was there, Hiro just a step behind. She held out her hand, and as Peter shook it confoundedly, she smiled. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Petrelli. My name is Toshiko Sato. Knowing my co-workers, you're probably a bit confused, but you're safe here."
"Peter! They fight aliens!" said Hiro, bouncing up to his side. "Toshiko says that she will take me downstairs to show me her weevil!"
"Actually, Tosh," said Dr. Harper from the doorway, "I've got to run a few more tests on Mr. Nakamura."
"Why?" asked Tosh, an innocent little frown on her face. "They aren't alien, clearly."
"Yeah, well, the boss asked me to," said Owen with a nonchalant shrug.
Jack nodded. "We've got to be careful," he said with his best 'I-know-best' tone and stalked off, pausing momentarily to look over his shoulder. "Mr. Petrelli, can I have a word with you in my office?"
Peter glanced at Hiro and, after a short consideration, decided it was best to play along for now. He followed along with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched just a touch, glancing back every couple of steps to Hiro, who just grinned and waved enthusiastically.
"There is no way Jack isn't going to try it on with that guy," commented Owen offhandedly.
Hiro's face dropped in an instant.
---
Peter emerged from the office pretty soon afterwards and headed straight back for where he himself had awoken. He ignored the people trying to grab his attention, including one handsome man with a suit to whom he had not been introduced. Peter was fairly sure the man was trying to offer him something, but he'd already been offered quite enough in the last while.
"Peter!" cried Hiro, sitting up on the lab table as soon as he caught sight of his significant other. "You are back!"
"I've been trying to convince him that Jack wouldn't molest you," explained Owen, a vial of Hiro's freshly-drawn blood in his hand. "It was pretty hard, seeing as the good Captain isn't exactly an expert at keeping his bits to himself."
"He didn't touch me," Peter said quickly. He looked a little red.
Owen laughed. "He got in a quick grope, didn't he?"
"No," he insisted quickly. He cleared his throat and stepped down the steps to stand at Hiro's side. "Now are you done?"
"Well I've got a few tests to run but he doesn't have to be here for that," said Owen. "Honestly, this is all just for the paperwork anyway. You'll be free to go soon."
"Peter. Why don't we teleport?" asked Hiro, pushing himself off the table with a hand clasped over the little needle wound on the crook of his elbow. "We can go home!"
"If they can sense me when I'm invisible, who knows what else they can do? Besides, look what happened last time they did that. I got shot."
"Why did you not shoot me?" asked Hiro, looking around at Dr. Harper.
"You passed out," laughed Owen. "The moment I shot the bloody gun, you were on the floor. Thought I'd missed for a moment, there, or killed two birds with one stone."
"You passed out?" asked Peter, his voice full of concern. Hiro shrugged, not looking all too bothered about it; Toshiko had appeared in the doorway.
"I'm supposed to keep you two entertained whilst Owen runs the tests," she said. "I though perhaps I could show you the weevil. Like you wanted, Mr. Nakamura."
"Please, call me Hiro," he insisted. "And I would enjoy that. Peter? Do you want to see an alien?"
"Not particularly," he admitted. "But I'll tag along. Just to make sure you don't get eaten or something."
Toshiko looked pleased. "Great. Just follow me."
---
After an uneventful visit to a very lairy, ugly creature in a tiny cell, a wander around some of the more accessible facilities and a long time listening to Hiro and Toshiko talk excitedly in Japanese, Peter was feeling a bit fed up. He was, therefore, rather grateful when the man with the suit approached him, hands in his pockets and a polite smile on his face.
"I was just wondering if you'd like a cup of coffee?"
Peter smiled up from where he sat on the low seat, a few feet away from where the other two were chatting and as far away from Captain Jack Harkness as he could manage without openly running away. "That would be wonderful," he replied. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name...?"
"Ianto Jones, at your service," he replied with a slight incline of his head. "Milk and sugar?"
"Just milk, please," said Peter. He was amused to watch the lithe man practically bounce off to get the hot drinks. "Everyone here is insane," he mumbled to himself.
"Right!" came a cry from the other side of the room. Tosh stopped speaking mid-sentence, looking up as Owen Harper came back into the room brandishing a clipboard. Captain Jack returned to the room with a glass of water in his hand, and Peter barely perceptibly straightened his back and looked away. The doctor strode over to Jack. "Here are the results. To simplify it down to the level of the common idiot, they're human. Actually that's about as complicated as it gets. Fairly conclusive results, these."
Jack frowned, his eyes on the couple across the room. "So they're definitely not aliens."
"Definitely not extra-terrestrial, no," said Owen. "No scrap of E.T. among either of them."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Well, I thought I saw a bit of Klingon in the little one, but..." he paused at the death glare he was receiving from the Captain. "Right. Not the time for sarcasm. Yes, Captain, I am one-hundred percent sure. They're human."
Jack nodded and folded his arms across his chest. After a moment of thoughtful frowning, he moved over to where Ianto was proudly handing Peter a cup of his best coffee while Hiro stood grinning at his side, jabbing at the buttons of a little gadget. "Peter and Hiro. We're keeping you in for observation. You can stay in one of the holding cells until morning."
"What? This isn't a fucking hospital," said Owen. "They don't need observation. Couple of mutated genes. Very exciting for the world at large and all that but not really Torchwood's problem, is it?"
"There could be more to it."
"There isn't," replied the doctor with a shrug. "They're like X-Men or something. You just want to ogle the pretty one."
"You can't just keep us here!" cried Peter. Ianto took the coffee back, fearing an angry flailing of arms. "We're not prisoners!"
"You're staying. And that's final," said Jack.
Owen wandered off grumbling about something that sounded suspiciously like it included 'bloody pervert'.
---
"Peter."
"What?"
"Peter!"
The sleepy man raised his head from the floor, where he was curled up and trying to rest. "What, Hiro? I'm kind of busy trying not to remember exactly how much that make-out session went wrong."
"I am cold," he replied from across the cell. He was sat with his knees bunched up against his chest and his arms tight around them. He looked utterly miserable. Despite all the trouble he had caused, Peter wasn't really very good at holding a grudge. He pushed himself up and scooted over, wrapping Hiro up tightly in his arms.
"We'll get out of here soon," promised Peter. "Maybe we should start groping each other again."
Hiro raised his eyebrows. "But there are cameras."
"And you think that's not what that pervert was hoping for when he put us in here?" he pointed out. "Come on. It worked last time."
"Okay!" said Hiro.
"You're surprisingly easy to convince."
"You are offering sex. It would be rude to turn it down."
Peter tilted his head to kiss softly along Hiro's neck. The man closed his eyes, his breath hitching when soft lips met his earlobe.
And then, abruptly, their surroundings shifted. There was a long pause where Hiro mourned the loss of those lovely warm lips on his skin before Peter stood up and looked around his dark apartment. Somewhere in the future in a far away country, Captain Jack Harkness swore in frustration.
"That... was easier than expected," said Peter, looking a bit bemused. "Check the newspaper."
"It says it is tomorrow," said Hiro, holding it up. He still looked a little flustered, and Peter couldn't help but notice his hand was shaking just slightly. "Thursday the second."
Peter glanced at it. "Closer than we usually get. Now how about we pick up where we left off?" Peter said, the moment he was surrounded by the comfort of his own apartment. "'Cause all that excitement has left me kind of horny."
Hiro grinned sheepishly, but he had no time to reply; Peter was already pushing him onto the bed.
"Oh, and by the way," added Peter offhandedly, "if you teleport us this time, no sex for you for a month."
With a threat like that, Hiro didn't lose concentration for a second.