The lie of American.

[red_child]

___I'd encountered him in the early morning during those hours that feed me well; where the lights that offer twists I would otherwise have to fight are down or dimmed, where the air is cool and fresh and the populace is off for the hours to leave the world free of their unnecessary activity. I encountered him over a wall while I was articulating

Comments

[dreadsmile]

It's alright to want to have other people wake up, but pray tell how do I wake up my own self? How?..
Every new day I live I feel - I *know* - I'm one step farther away from home. How do I wake myself up?

[red_child]

That's part of the hassle with it, is I can't quite tell you what to do. I can't even tell myself what to do, because it's something that's just done; though it may be more accurate to say that it's something where you stop doing. I think that letting go and letting less be more may be the hardest part, especially having been raised where there's this constant spoiling with too much as though all of these things that give nothing are so important, though. I know I still falter, I know there's both frequency and quite a bit of intensity with which I'll hit periods of being unable to 'stay awake'. The best thing I've been able to do is watch and be aware. The worst thing I've been able to do is latch onto what I see and hold it in thought, as though it's something to adhere to. The primary problem is... thinking is not seeing; if I think too much about something it becomes easy to lose sight of what it actually is, which completely negates the benefits and consistently results in pain

[red_child]

Oh, and because I neglected to mention... I started with me and relied on myself, but as I'm trying to branch out I'm finding I need to rely more and more on the friends I have. I couldn't hold together for shit if I didn't have them to remind me of the things I neglect

[dreadsmile]

Yes, yes it does. Although unlike the Buddhists, who I suppose at least try to employ these strategies, all we the fat and spoiled westerners do is talk about it.

Friends are good and very important, no doubt. But are they really there to help us, remind us, offer us hand? What if they only serve to reflect our indulgence, project back onto ourselves the images of us the way our ego desires it, rather than what we "believe" we should be like? It's a mutually beneficial affair, on a subconscious level.

[a_muse_d]

we truly find the value in life by discovering how precious it is in the risk of losing it.

[red_child]

For me, it wasn't even then. It's as I'm learning what it means to live it.