Ficlet: The Out-of-Towner
Title: The Out-of-Towner
Author: Rebcake
Rating: PG
Word Count: 465
Characters: Spike & Count Dracula (the George Hamilton version)
Summary: On his way to CBGBs in the late '70s, Spike runs into an old acquaintance. Crossover with the 1979 film Love at First Bite.
Spike strode down the street, practicing the proper hitch of his shoulders to get the coat billowing just so. As he passed the mouth of an alley, he did a threatening sideways swirl, center of gravity low. A quick glance showed the alley was empty, so he took a few steps backward while rehearsing his “you lucked out this time, loser” head toss. One shoulder banged solidly into a pedestrian, whom he bounced off unexpectedly. He was sure there hadn’t been anybody there a moment ago. Whirling about, he took in the hoity-toity evening clothes, and smiled.
“Lost your way then, sport?” he asked.
The pedestrian stepped into the light of the flickering streetlamp. “Villiam?”
“Drac?”
“I am Count Vladimir Dracula,” the man corrected automatically, pulling his cape closer about his body. He looked rather down in the dumps. Spike felt his pleasant evening slipping away before it had even started.
“Oh, bloody hell! What are you doing in the Bowery, you tosser?"
“I was looking for the Ritz Hotel, but the taxi let me off just there,” said Dracula, pointing to a seedy bathhouse with a flickering neon sign on the opposite corner. “This trip is not going well. I do not think that New York is the place for men such as us.”
“You’re kidding, right? This place is brilliant. Everything a man of the world could want in this town. There’s music, for one. The nightlife never ends. This coat? Got it off my second Slayer, coupla months back, right here in NYC,” he bragged
“Ah, Villiam. You are so young. So easily amused. I seek something more rare. My bride. The woman I have sought over the centuries. She is here. I must find her and bring her the gift of eternal life.”
Spike tapped out a cigarette. “New York girl, you say? Better be careful what you offer, or she might think you’re selling insurance. They’re canny, these new world chits.” He lit up, and added, “Tasty, though.”
Just then that worm Renfield ran up with his hinky gait.
“Master! I have found her. She likes the nightlife. She likes to “boogie”. We will find her at the Disco-Round.”
Spike rolled his eyes. He’d given up on cokeheads after a few months in town. They made him too twitchy. Still, everybody had to learn in their own time.
“Will you join us, Villiam?” asked Drac, the picture of courtesy.
“Sorry. Got plans of my own tonight.”
“Ah. A pity.” Dracula patted down the pockets of his suit ostentatiously. “I seem to have lost my wallet when I transformed into a bat earlier. I wonder, Villiam, whether I might borrow the cab fare?”
And that, my friends, is how Dracula came to owe William the Bloody twenty bucks eleven pounds.
FIN
Bonus prize: How many '70s movie comedies can you spot?
Author: Rebcake
Rating: PG
Word Count: 465
Characters: Spike & Count Dracula (the George Hamilton version)
Summary: On his way to CBGBs in the late '70s, Spike runs into an old acquaintance. Crossover with the 1979 film Love at First Bite.
Spike strode down the street, practicing the proper hitch of his shoulders to get the coat billowing just so. As he passed the mouth of an alley, he did a threatening sideways swirl, center of gravity low. A quick glance showed the alley was empty, so he took a few steps backward while rehearsing his “you lucked out this time, loser” head toss. One shoulder banged solidly into a pedestrian, whom he bounced off unexpectedly. He was sure there hadn’t been anybody there a moment ago. Whirling about, he took in the hoity-toity evening clothes, and smiled.
“Lost your way then, sport?” he asked.
The pedestrian stepped into the light of the flickering streetlamp. “Villiam?”
“Drac?”
“I am Count Vladimir Dracula,” the man corrected automatically, pulling his cape closer about his body. He looked rather down in the dumps. Spike felt his pleasant evening slipping away before it had even started.
“Oh, bloody hell! What are you doing in the Bowery, you tosser?"
“I was looking for the Ritz Hotel, but the taxi let me off just there,” said Dracula, pointing to a seedy bathhouse with a flickering neon sign on the opposite corner. “This trip is not going well. I do not think that New York is the place for men such as us.”
“You’re kidding, right? This place is brilliant. Everything a man of the world could want in this town. There’s music, for one. The nightlife never ends. This coat? Got it off my second Slayer, coupla months back, right here in NYC,” he bragged
“Ah, Villiam. You are so young. So easily amused. I seek something more rare. My bride. The woman I have sought over the centuries. She is here. I must find her and bring her the gift of eternal life.”
Spike tapped out a cigarette. “New York girl, you say? Better be careful what you offer, or she might think you’re selling insurance. They’re canny, these new world chits.” He lit up, and added, “Tasty, though.”
Just then that worm Renfield ran up with his hinky gait.
“Master! I have found her. She likes the nightlife. She likes to “boogie”. We will find her at the Disco-Round.”
Spike rolled his eyes. He’d given up on cokeheads after a few months in town. They made him too twitchy. Still, everybody had to learn in their own time.
“Will you join us, Villiam?” asked Drac, the picture of courtesy.
“Sorry. Got plans of my own tonight.”
“Ah. A pity.” Dracula patted down the pockets of his suit ostentatiously. “I seem to have lost my wallet when I transformed into a bat earlier. I wonder, Villiam, whether I might borrow the cab fare?”
And that, my friends, is how Dracula came to owe William the Bloody twenty bucks eleven pounds.
FIN
Bonus prize: How many '70s movie comedies can you spot?