No Means No: Sometimes There Is No Compromise

[eryn_]

Title: No Means No: Sometimes There Is No Compromise
Author: FlocksOfTurtles / eryn_
Pairing: SS/HG
Genre: the anti-romance
Audience: [the Mature]
Warnings: Non-traditional worldview
Length: 4140 words
Complete?: yes
Beta-ed?: yes
Summary: Severus Snape does not want children, but his wife keeps pressuring him. For once, the happy ending doesn't come

Comments

[driedplums]

Excellent!

And it's so kind of you to warn that this is a "non-traditional" worldview. I think the idea that women try to trick men into having children *is* part of the RL traditional world view, albeit a twisted variant (like "golddiggers"). But I can see that given the SS/HG fanfic "happily ever after" tradition, you're being kindly cautious!

Thanks for the tale.

My favorite bit was:

She didn't even comprehend how appalled everyone would have been if they had the four children she wanted; the magical world could not have that kind of population increase without being discovered by muggles everywhere. That was why almost no high-ranking families had more than two children, and most had only one. The Weasleys, especially Molly, were the kind of people who forced people who wanted children to hold back. Everyone understood this: because witches and wizards lived so much longer than non-magical folk, it was trivial to get a population boom and constant care was required to prevent one.I think that's really brilliant

[eryn_]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it... that paragraph is one of my favorite parts too. (I wrote my own paradigm shift.)

1) I didn't write the early part of their relationship. There are so many of those fics which might as well end with "... and they lived happily ever after." One assumes something akin to one of the myriad choices applies

[driedplums]

(1) Sure... it's just that without you explaining it to me here, I wouldn't realize that you're assuming Hermione suffered a significant change, and assuming she did, then those brilliant!Hermione entrances secretlyRomantic!Snape fics don't work as a supposition

[driedplums]

I've got it!

I think what it was, is that it seems like "gosh I'm sick of mommy!Hermione, and I'm sure Severus would be too!" to the point where maybe it's a bit too rushed to explain how awful it is without really developing how Severus feels as a person, other than fed up.

[rachel_w]

I think this is good, and I see the point you're trying to make of it (I remember the big kerflaffle on WIKTT when it came out, but never read the fic that inspired this, or this one before

[eryn_]

I don't have any clue what Severus sees in Hermione. Within the fanfic world, there are enough "happily ever after" stories that what got them together (even in this context) could be left as an exercise to the reader

[driedplums]

>I don't have any clue what Severus sees in Hermione. Within the fanfic world, there are enough "happily ever after" stories that what got them together (even in this context) could be left as an exercise to the reader.

I think the way out of the preachy sound, or as I put it the rush to convey that Hermione's behavior is appalling, is maybe to do a rewrite where the break-up has already happened and Albus/Minerva (or whoever) are sitting around gossiping about it.

[eryn_]

To be honest, I don't know who the dog is. ;-) My vote's on Neville.

[unsymbolic]

I have to be honest and say that this fic, unfortunately, doesn't really work for me. I've been trying to put my finger on the crucial element that leaves me hanging as a reader, and I think the best way to put it is context. Lets see if I can explain

[eryn_]

Thank you for your comments...

[tesseract_5]

this might cut off mid-review (in middle of making dinner ;) )

First of all, I really like the idea for the story, it's a very realistic view to me that Hermione would think she too would prefer a meeting of the minds adult professional life and then find as she nears a certain age that she has a craving for children (a friend nearing 40 went through this). She's not a mature or as sure of herself as she thought, (thus falling for a froofy dog). The white poodle is also very funny to me as my mother recently got one, (not the dog she was planning on in her defense).

now the con crit, take it as you like ( I haven't read the other comments yet)

I do not see how this could possibly help. And my desire not to have children was well known to you before we married."

quite a Snapish statement, though I would drag this out farther, expressing his bewilderment at her sudden about face on their mutual decision (or so he thought), and disgust, thus forcing her seduction as appology

but who was he to turn down amazing kisses as a bribe?

part II

[tesseract_5]

" He was laughing so hard his face was pinkened and tears were leaking from his eyes. Severus choked out more, "Those herbs must be at least a year old by now, completely ineffective."

Albus had never seen him laugh like that. He never blushed, never showed any sort of emotion without significant embarrassment. This was obviously the stoic man's equivalent of a screaming hysteria.

I'm really impressed with this scene, as I've commented so many times in my journal it is impossible to find a Snape that remains his nasty selfish self in fan fic, but this is a very good example of Snape being true to his nature. In winning his battle with his young headstrong wife he falls into hysterical laughter. Dumbledore just nodding sadly.

overall, very interesting take on this subject, different than I'd expected, I'm sure some of my comments are from my pov on how I like fic, your style is sparser than mine (as you know).

Re: part I and part II

[eryn_]

Thanks for your comments, and especially for the praise

Re: part I and part II

[tesseract_5]

One more thing, if this makes you feel more confident about this story, is that it made me think about it for the next hour after I read it, all through finishing making the southern style black-eyed peas and rice. So much so that I have a Hermione PoV to this that I want to write out.