fic: multiple choice
Title: Multiple Choice
Fandom: Star Trek:XI
Rating: R
Pairing: Kirk/Pike, Kirk+McCoy, Pike+Number One, Delicious Crack/Unapologetic Schmoop
Declaimer: I do not own these characters and court no profits with this fanwork.
Notes: I'm certain this is someone's fault, I'm just not sure whose. I'm going to go with leftarrow, just to be safe.
Summary: ( Jim's impromptu bachelor party has taken on a distinctly Bacchanalian flavor, casual nudity and brightly colored drinks of suspicious origin everywhere.
Across one of the walls of Jim's lavish guest quarters is a fresco of sparsely attired aliens soberly counting a basket of severed heads, and presumably, the forcibly removed manhoods of said heads. Pinned above that cheerful depiction of judicial cultural heritage is a poorly hung banner, thoughtfully provided by the Xeno-Protocol Department, which says, in bold authoritative fuschia 'THERE IS NO PRE-MARITAL SEX ON PLANET LX-6.'
On a vividly green not-bear skin rug, Officer McKenna and Lieutenant Riley are smugly flaunting their conjugal rights with unexpected stamina and an impressive display of flexibility. )
Fandom: Star Trek:XI
Rating: R
Pairing: Kirk/Pike, Kirk+McCoy, Pike+Number One, Delicious Crack/Unapologetic Schmoop
Declaimer: I do not own these characters and court no profits with this fanwork.
Notes: I'm certain this is someone's fault, I'm just not sure whose. I'm going to go with leftarrow, just to be safe.
Summary: ( Jim's impromptu bachelor party has taken on a distinctly Bacchanalian flavor, casual nudity and brightly colored drinks of suspicious origin everywhere.
Across one of the walls of Jim's lavish guest quarters is a fresco of sparsely attired aliens soberly counting a basket of severed heads, and presumably, the forcibly removed manhoods of said heads. Pinned above that cheerful depiction of judicial cultural heritage is a poorly hung banner, thoughtfully provided by the Xeno-Protocol Department, which says, in bold authoritative fuschia 'THERE IS NO PRE-MARITAL SEX ON PLANET LX-6.'
On a vividly green not-bear skin rug, Officer McKenna and Lieutenant Riley are smugly flaunting their conjugal rights with unexpected stamina and an impressive display of flexibility. )
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Pick One:
A) This is a love story.
B) This is a horror story.
TICKY BOXES!
Jim's manful display of emotional cognizance is briefly interrupted by a cheering thought: introducing himself as Mrs. Pike is going to be a thing of glory and awesomeness forever.
AHAHAHAHAA oh my God I think I swallowed my tongue with the effort of not shrieking with laughter.
DRUNKEN BONES. CLASSILY MOLESTING UHURA. DELIBERATELY DRUNKEN SPOCK. I have taken notes and wept with delight.
His exit from the ceiling varies slightly from the suave entrance originally intended.
*thud*
Pike is not a morning person. Pike is a quietly-set-you-on-fire-if-you-attempt-communication-before-the-ingestion-of-eight-fluid-ounces-of-coffee-person and Jim knows this from personal, dermal regenerator required, experience.
A) This is sexy.
B) This is assault.
Depends: did Pike kiss the regenerated skin afterwards? Did Jim learn to hand him the coffee first the next morning?
Pike was ( ... )
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