Cobblestones & Mountain Dew

[rchevalier]

Today you find your every action slowing

and the speech of others strangely slurring;

a narcoleptic urge is quickly growing,

your vision like a bad picture is blurring.

Pinch yourself to try to stay awake

as each blink becomes a tryst with sleep

forbidden for your teacher’s ego sake,

but on you sly temptation creeps…

…but in the corner of

Comments

[thewhitelily]

*spluttercough* The second one made me laugh out loud! It's awesome. (The line "upon your face..." has a funny rhythm, though, with smile as two syllables - can you replace "is now" with "can now be"?)

I really like the first one too. Tis pretty. *pets it*

[rchevalier]

(I'm writing something similar about cheese, Foodini and Beverage Boy since I realized about ten minutes ago that one of my rl friends has a birthday tomorrow. *headdesk*.)

Anything about teh dew is automatically classified as Awesome. Dew just exudes that on to anything, sorta like social coolness by association.

And... yeah. The more I look at it, the more I cringe at the rhythm... I'll go back and fix it when I have time, i.e. after NaNo. (TWO DAYS!)

[kalai_eljahn]

Was I arguing that? *considers* Code Red was our OM team's trademark, but that's all I can recall. I don't drink enough Dew to really have much of an opinion, those were all yours. ^^

[rchevalier]

You were, a bit. Though admittedly 'heated' is a bit of a hyperbole. Maybe more like 'lukewarm'...