Hey Man Nice Shot. (fic)

May 04, 2007 20:26



Title: Hey Man Nice Shot.
Author: Razycrandomgirl
Disclaimer: It's all Joss' fault. :-(
Characters: Mal, Zoe.
Rating: PG I guess. :\
Promtp: Shot for Read more... )

writing, fic, zoe, mal, drabbles, firefly

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Comments 27

xx_squish_xx May 5 2007, 04:25:24 UTC
I liked it! A nice little moment early on in their friendship, I'd venture.

Although, I'm not real sure about the "un-understanding." Maybe you mean "misunderstanding" or better yet, "confusion"? ;)

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razycrandomgirl May 5 2007, 04:36:47 UTC
huh. yeah that part kind bugged me (though not enough to change it, apparently) I thought it could be justified as 'Mal thought' though I didn't establish it. :-\ So I guess I could change it? I saw that I could use "Misunderstanding" but it didn't fit for me. Confusion is much better. Thank you.

PS thank you for being my first review. I was bugging out a bit. It's sad that I'm such a review whore. -pouts-

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xx_squish_xx May 5 2007, 04:41:23 UTC
It can be so hard to find the right word sometimes. Odd that.

I'm always freaking out about comments too, I think we all do that. We want people to read our stuff, and then we must know what they think! :)

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razycrandomgirl May 5 2007, 04:52:23 UTC
I know sometimes I'm like "PLEASE! EVEN IF IT SUCKED JUST TELL ME WHY!"

PS thanks for catching that for me. The dangers of beta free fic! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh! Maybe next time if I'm not feeling to impatient I'll post it at http://community.livejournal.com/ff_workshop/ first. :-D

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fullmetaljackie May 5 2007, 05:18:02 UTC
i liked it but why didnt they have sex?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hey_Man,_Nice_Shot

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Don't think I wasn't tempted. razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 03:13:29 UTC
i liked it but why didnt they have sex?
Cause I think you would be the only one to understand that situation. And dirty War sex? EW
Next time though ... maybe.

Mostly because I suck at writing smut. But I'm great at reading it! :-D

also, Thanks for the link on the song. I know about the gruesome origins of the some and it stuck for that reason. Fist time I heard it was when I was watching Demon Knight. I love that movie and every time I hear the song I get that image of the previous Knight running for his life. I gotta get that movie! What brought it back was that I recently got it the Supernatural soundtrack. Filter Rocks! And now I can't get the image of Jensen Ackles ripping at his pretty wet skin. -drools-

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Re: Don't think I wasn't tempted. fullmetaljackie May 6 2007, 04:19:49 UTC
i just looked up jada pinkett and i was trying to figure out where else i knew her from but demon knight must have been it. which is weird cuz i thought i remember remembering her from somewhere else when i saw that movie.

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Re: Don't think I wasn't tempted. razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 04:31:45 UTC
snicker- a Different World? She had braids then. I love that movie.

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ceslas May 5 2007, 07:44:32 UTC
I like that Zoe is saying nothing and Mal is finishing by babbling. So Mal >;0)

Good imagery created by visceral descriptions of what is there...

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Yay! Serenity thumbs up! razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 03:24:59 UTC
Yeah I noticed that Zoe wasn't saying anything. You'd thing she'd come back with some kind of snark but ... h'm. I think there's a reason. She might be too quiet.
And Mal does try to fill up the air with some kind of noise ... awww I think that's cute and kinda comforting.
Thanks for saying. I like to know what things look like behind the story and I like it when they're shown. :-D

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Re: Yay! Serenity thumbs up! ceslas May 6 2007, 03:32:40 UTC
I like that she was quiet- she is a stoic woman, and injured, bloodied, and exhausted. She would 'do the job' I believe.

I very much like the development fics, the way they become who we know...

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Re: Yay! Serenity thumbs up! razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 03:52:08 UTC
I agree. I like that she's still being stealthy even though her Sargent has a bad case of the raps. lol

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bookaddict43 May 5 2007, 12:18:46 UTC
She squirmed beneath the pressure and weakly pointed a gnarled finger at something beyond his line of site. The words used in this sentence are great, they really set the scene.

I like this look at early Zoe and Mal. Well done! :)

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-Beams- razycrandomgirl May 6 2007, 02:25:59 UTC
Thanks for saying. It's really all just a matter of trying to make the words fit. Thank God for word count. :-D

I feel the need to explain this tiny bit, so I think another needs to be written. It wants to be. All day I was fretting about how much of it I messed up. This is why it is shunned after it is posted. :-\ But I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-D

Ps I'm a fan of your stuff. ceslas says you're all the rage

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cmk418 May 7 2007, 19:48:45 UTC
Nicely done. Ah, the uncertainty of wartime. Great job with the chemistry between the two.

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razycrandomgirl May 8 2007, 03:47:58 UTC
Well, thank you very much! I really like your Mal/Zoe stories. :-D

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