Dark Blue Fic: Waking Dreams [Jaimie/Dean, Jaimie/Scott]

Oct 08, 2012 23:38

Author:
siricerasi
Fandom: Dark Blue
Characters/pairings: Jaimie/Dean
Rating: M
Word count: 1097
Warnings: off-screen violence involving children, sex
Spoilers: none
Summary: He always knows exactly what she needs, even when she doesn’t.
Author's Notes: Written for my hc_bingo wildcard prompt "exhaustion"

Title etc from Possession by Sarah McLachlan


Jaimie has never been a big cuddler. It kind of went with the whole sex for money or drugs thing, and it was a habit she’s never bothered to break. It involves love and connection and trust, and she’s not sure she’s ever felt any of those things. Not really.

But this case had been horrendous, as any case involving children was. Especially when kids ended up dead. She hadn’t slept more than a few hours in the past week, and she’s beyond exhausted. But every time she closes her eyes, all she can see is a little nine-year old girl bleeding out in her arms, and she’s so tired she wants to cry.

So she asks Scott to hold her, hopes that human contact will lull her to sleep. But as he wraps an arm around her it just feels confining, and soon enough he passes out and rolls away from her.

***

She shows up at Dean’s door at 2am, pale and trembling with exhaustion, a guarded look on her face to wards off any questions. He pulls her inside wordlessly, but she can see the concern in his eyes.

As he closes the door she stands motionless in the hallway, completely dead on her feet, and he guides her to his chair. Now that she’s here it’s just too much work to even think, and she’s grateful he doesn’t push her. He sits, settles her on his lap, and as she rests her head on his shoulder she feels her body relax a little for the first time in weeks.

He runs his hand lightly along her arm for a few minutes, rubbing a little warmth into her chilled skin. When she sighs heavily, he murmurs, “You look exhausted, sweetheart.” She nods, feels tears pressing against her eyes.

“I can’t sleep,” she mumbles. “I’m… I’m too tired to sleep.”

He nods, brushes back a strand of hair. “You seeing them?” he asks gently, and she feels her face crumple a little. She can only nod again, afraid her voice will break if she speaks. “Me too,” he tells her. His admission opens something inside her, brings tears to press more urgently against her eyelids.

“I just…” Her voice falters, but then she’s rambling so fast she has no idea what she’s saying. “I just wanted someone to hold me and help me sleep and I asked Scott but he just passed out and I’m just so tired…” She chokes off as he wraps his arms around her, rocking her slowly.

“Hey, hey,” he soothes. “Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’ll hold you, baby, as long as you need, alright?” She nods frantically into his shoulder, feels tears finally starting to leak through her tightly closed lids. “Shh, you’re not alone, Jaimie,” he whispers to her. “We’re not alone.”

As she feels warm drops on her back, she thinks maybe he’s trying to convince himself too. She realizes maybe he needs this as much as she does, and her chest tightens when she thinks of him sitting here drinking alone all night, (not) waiting for her.

She reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck, asking softly, “Were you planning to stay up all night?”

He shrugs. “Seemed like the best thing to do.” She pulls back at the hollow sound of his voice, cups his face gently with a sigh.

“Dean…”

He smiles harshly, turns his head to kiss her palm. “It’s okay, Jaimie. I’m not your responsibility.” I’m not your boyfriend. The unspoken words hang in the air, swirling through her head and flooding guilt into her chest.

“No,” she murmurs. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.” He stares into her eyes for a moment and she doesn’t blink, just stokes his cheek with her thumb.

And then he wraps his arms around her again, whispering, “I know. I’m sorry, I’m just… really on edge.”

She nods, a little desperately. He runs his fingers along her back, tracing random patterns against her skin, and she feels herself relaxing slowly. “Try to get some rest, honey,” he soothes. “You’ve had a lot less than me this week.”

“I can’t,” she chokes.

He’s silent a moment, and then he lifts her up, cradling her to his chest as he walks to his bedroom. When he strips off her jeans she whispers, “Dean…”

“Relax,” he soothes again. “I’ll help you sleep, sweetheart. Close your eyes, let me take care of you.” He presses a gentle kiss to her lips and she moans, laying back against the pillows.

He strips the rest of her clothes tenderly, slowly, admiring every inch of skin he uncovers. She hadn’t even realized, until he looked at her with those eyes full of worship, that she’d been as worked up about Scott as about the case. And somehow Dean had known that, somehow he’d known she needed to be loved, appreciated, seen.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, kissing tears on her cheeks that she hadn’t even realized were falling. “Scott’s an idiot if he doesn’t want to take every chance he has to hold you, touch you.”

The tears just fall faster, but she doesn’t try to stop them. Not here, not the only place she feels safe enough to just be herself. And Dean doesn’t say a thing, just continues stroking her body with loving hands, sending waves of heat coursing through her.

When his tongue starts to flick around her she moans, lifts her hips in anticipation, but he draws back.

“Let me,” he murmurs. “You just relax, love, let me take care of you.” She does, lets the heat build inside her so slowly it’s agonizing, as his fingers and tongue work their horrible magic. He seems to anticipate her every reaction, pulling back anytime she starts to tense, and when the orgasm finally shudders through her it’s paralyzing, mind-numbing.

As he collapses down beside her, tugging her head onto his shoulder, she realizes that Scott’s never done this for her. He’s never done anything purely for her, not even when she asks, and certainly not unasked. He never knows what she needs, doesn’t seem to really care; Dean always knows what she needs, even when she doesn’t.

“Stop thinking,” he whispers, running his fingers lightly along her naked skin. “It’ll all be there tomorrow, Jaimie. Right now you just need to sleep.” She nuzzles deeper into him as he pulls the blankets over them, cradling her to his chest as he wipes gently at her tears.

He always knows exactly what she needs, even when she doesn’t.

and i would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
i'll take your breath away
and after i'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

tv: dark blue, rating: m, ppl: scott mueller, ppl: dean bendis, ppl: jaimie allen, fan fiction, challenge: hc-bingo, one-shot, ship: dean/jaimie, ship: jaimie/scott

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