Comments | rayne_shippers: First Date

eneumann in rayne_shippers

First Date

Mar 14, 2011 14:33

Title: First Date
Author: eneumann
Rating: PG because guns and adult concepts are mentioned/referred to
Disclaimer: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Summary: Jayne thinks River needs proper courting.
Author's Note: This would be the first of 100 stories for Lover100. Used the prompt Romance. Hoping to go numerically. Also, here's my fic roundup so you can find future stories here ( Read more... )

2008: genre - romance, 2008: fanfic (1000+ words)

Comments 4

goddessofbirth March 14 2011, 19:25:50 UTC

Awwww....I loved their awkward dinner conversation. I love it when Jayne likes River enough that he tries to be all proper and Core, and River has to smack him in the head and remind him that that isn't her and probably never was. Just excellent!

x_deathstar_x March 14 2011, 20:38:13 UTC

Even if it wasn't what River expected or wanted him to do, it really showed how much he cared for her. Jayne putting on a monkey suit, buying flowers and having a proper core-like date is so much out of character for him that there's just no other explanation than... Jayne is truly and madly in love with River ;) The kiss on the lips sealed it. Great work! I really enjoyed this one!

sunshineali March 14 2011, 23:51:00 UTC

Swweeeet! I love that he'd go to all that trouble for her and that she didn't want it to begin with. The flowers were nice though. A very cute fic and I'm glad they got to go out, away from the ship/crew and just have some alone time. :)

general_iblis March 16 2011, 02:33:00 UTC

I bet Simon's just busting a gut back on Serenity, isn't he? Just having a ball at the mental expense of Jayne trying to woo River though fancy dress and the closest thing to a romantic dinner Jayne can find on a Rim planet, when Simon KNOWS River is totally unimpressed with those trappings...though I hope he doesn't go to far and get Kaylee cheesed off at him for making too much of Jayne's perceived suffering ;D

Still, I loved how you made the First Date of Rayne so awkward the reader felt the tension themselves, until River clued Jayne in. Though I was kinda hoping for River letting Jayne try his damnedest to impress her, have it blow up in his face and then let Jayne know that all she needed was his affirmation of long-term affection to win her heart ;D