Fic: "Borne." Rated PG.

[an_ardent_rain]

Title: Borne
Author: an_ardent_rain
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1377
Disclaimer: Not mine.
-Author Note: Well, I didn't get to the October Challenge, but the fic I'd planned to do for that is still in the works. In the meantime... This! It's... I don't know. I probably need to go back and look through it. Constructive criticism would be appreciated. Hope you

Comments

[elaine451]

I love your work and this is no exception. A little snippit of Jayne and River, interacting. You're prose so vivid, 'something saltier than guilt around him', great! More would be nice, but more Rayne is always a preference ;D

[an_ardent_rain]

Oh, thank you so much! *beam* I'm very glad you liked it! And yes - it seems that the main point of it is their interaction. I do try to be vivid, so I'm glad this succeeded; I wanted to try to make the reader very aware of all the physical things going on without going into any sexual undercurrent really. I don't think I'll continue this, but there's always more Rayne on the way! :)

Thanks again - I always appreciate comments! Hee.

[sunshineali]

This was sad and sweet at the same time. I can see this would be how they would truly start to fall for each other. He'd see her when she was vulnerable and they'd reach an understanding and let things go from there. I hope this is the start of things for them. :)Ali

[an_ardent_rain]

Oh, thanks so much! :) Yes, I agree - I think that something like that would have to happen to change Jayne's perception of her; and seeing her vulnerable definitely would go a long way. I think that they'd have a sort of secret understanding - which of course would lead to a relationship. Heh.

Thanks again! Always appreciate comments. ^^

My two cents.

[helgatwb]

I would call it a deleted scene. Just a little character development that didn't fit in anywhere else, so it has to be all by itself. I liked it.

Re: My two cents.

[an_ardent_rain]

Ahh! Yes, I think that describes it well. Hee. You're right, it wouldn't really fit anywhere else. Glad you liked it - I had fun writing it. :) And thanks for the comment!