The Astonishing Misadventures of River Louise Tam and Jayne Archibald Cobb 1/?
Series Title: The Astonishing Misadventures of River Louise Tam and Jayne Archibald Cobb
Title: Clowning Around
Author: aswiftlytiltingreality
Word Count: 1,061
Pairings: definitely pre-rayne to rayne
Rating: PG for general highlarity and hijinx
Disclaimer: Jayne is my favorite toy. In Joss's absence I like to do things with him. Sometimes it involves licking.
Set: Post BDM
Summary: Jayne and River share their fondness for explosions with the rest of Serenity's crew.
Author's Note: Okay, so I tried-I really did, I promise- to get the next chapter of twenty-four finished before i have to leave tomorrow and it's looking like i won't be able to. This was already finished, so I decided to post it. This is the sequel to "Playtime" and is all about how River and Jayne become friends and more. I hope you enjoy and Merry Christmahanukwanziukkah!
Simon looked from his seat between Kaylee and her elder sister, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible as he snuck worried glances at his young sister and Serenity’s heartless mercenary, who were both hunched over a small table building a house out of cards, buttons collected in a jar by Mrs. Frye and the chess pieces from the board that had been set up to keep River busy. The longer they worked on the house and the more Simone studied it, it looked like a model of Serenity and Simon couldn’t help but be impressed by how they had managed to build such an elaborate model out of such materials.
However, he was quite worried by the amount for giggling they were doing and the looks on both their faces were highly…evil. He scowled at them. They were at it again, he just knew it. Somehow, barely twenty-four hours after covering Simon’s walls in naked women, they’d managed to build a mechanical clown and rigged it to burst forth from the cake Zoe and Inara had baked for Kaylee and Simon to make them feel better about having naked women’s images super glued to his walls permanently.
The clown had exploded out of the top of the cake, spraying cake bits all over the mess and covered in sugary strawberry filling and icing and giggling crazily-though not as crazy as the pranksters themselves who had crumpled to the floor like ragdolls in a pile of quivering limbs as they giggled and gasped for air.
Inara had turned beat red, irate. She had never baked a cake (successfully) and having had it blown to bits had turned her on the pair instantly. River, who had managed to prop herself up on one shaky arm, took one look at the companion’s face and howled with renewed laughter, pointing as she couldn’t formulate words. Her anger only lessened slightly when she noticed that River and Jayne were clutching at one another as they cried out their laughter, trying to get a hold of themselves but finding it impossible.
Zoe hadn’t been mad, but annoyed. All the giggling was more than she could stand. She was more impressed than anything. Their pranks were not only successful, but original it seemed.
Simon was more impressed with Kaylee’s reaction, which had also been the most animated. Kaylee, was not too fond of clowns. She had let out a terrified scream and punched the mechanical terror clear across the mess, breathing heavily and angrily until she saw Jayne and River tangled up on the floor together, faces buried in one another’s necks as they half-cried, half-laughed and then she too had crumpled in laughter. That too had set the pair off further.
And now, they were at it again. The speed at which they schemed, plotted and then managed to rig up their evil little jokes was astounding. “Ain’t it great, Simon,” Kaylee sighed, “somethin’ ‘bout weddin’s that jus’ brings people together an’ makes ‘em friendly. Maybe they’ll stay friends even after.”
“It’s awful nice a the big guy ta play with yer sister,” Kaylee’s sister, Cora said, watching the pair with a small smile on her face. Simon while happy that the two were no longer yelling at one another very five minutes, was more than a little disturbed by the new friendship. After causing the cake to explode, the two had spent the better part of an hour picking cake bits and scooping frosting off one another and eating it. Though it had been innocent fun, it had definitely rattled Simon and Mal had seemed just as uncomfortable until River had shoved Jayne into a crash chair without warning, pegged him in the face with a handful of cake she’d scooped off the table, squealed, “You’re it” and tore out of the mess. Jayne hadn’t missed a beat. He’d wiped the cake from his face, shoveled it into his mouth and then grabbed a handful himself, and stormed out of the mess yelling as he tried not to laugh, “Yer gunna be pickin’ frostin’ outta yer hair fer a month when I get my hands on you, you moonbrained little girl!”
Simon watched his sister as she stood up and came to stand beside Jayne to peer over his shoulder and nodded to him, murmuring something in his ear. His face scrunched up in consternation and he dropped his chin into his hand with a pout on his face. River looked a bit troubled as well, dropping her chin onto his shoulder. She frowned and leaned her head against his. Jayne didn’t seem bothered by the contact, which he would have been less than a week ago. Jayne muttered something out thoughtfully and River nodded her agreement and settled down in the chair beside him.
It took Simon a few minutes to realize they were having an honest to God conversation and he hoped desperately that it was about their next prank. Luckily for him, it was.
“We gotta keep ‘em on their toes,” Jayne said, lookin’ to River as she watched him with serious, wide eyes. Her eyes were always wide. They kinda reminded him of little lost bunnies in them cartoony shows he’d watched when he was a youngin’ ‘cause if he didn’t Mattie would carry on about not bein’ able to watch’er princess movies. “we lose the element a surprise, they might catch on an’ get outta some of ‘em. An’ ya don’t want ‘em callin’ us on ‘em a’fore we get Mal. Then we won’t be doin’ none no more.”
“Our time is coming to an end,” River said, heaving a great sigh of sadness, her eyes got even wider, “no more playdates. Go back to playing with books and guns.”
“Really,” Jayne asked, surprised at how sad he felt about not getting to play with River-despite how loathe he was to admit he still played at all. Feeling very unhappy with the turn of events, Jayne knocked down the model they had built with a growl. River patted his shoulder and peeked up at him. “Want to come climb trees with me?”
‘No’ was on the tip of his tongue until he caught sight of her equally sad expression. He sat back in his chair and blew out a puff of air through his nose. “Lemme get a little drunk firs’.”
Title: Clowning Around
Author: aswiftlytiltingreality
Word Count: 1,061
Pairings: definitely pre-rayne to rayne
Rating: PG for general highlarity and hijinx
Disclaimer: Jayne is my favorite toy. In Joss's absence I like to do things with him. Sometimes it involves licking.
Set: Post BDM
Summary: Jayne and River share their fondness for explosions with the rest of Serenity's crew.
Author's Note: Okay, so I tried-I really did, I promise- to get the next chapter of twenty-four finished before i have to leave tomorrow and it's looking like i won't be able to. This was already finished, so I decided to post it. This is the sequel to "Playtime" and is all about how River and Jayne become friends and more. I hope you enjoy and Merry Christmahanukwanziukkah!
Simon looked from his seat between Kaylee and her elder sister, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible as he snuck worried glances at his young sister and Serenity’s heartless mercenary, who were both hunched over a small table building a house out of cards, buttons collected in a jar by Mrs. Frye and the chess pieces from the board that had been set up to keep River busy. The longer they worked on the house and the more Simone studied it, it looked like a model of Serenity and Simon couldn’t help but be impressed by how they had managed to build such an elaborate model out of such materials.
However, he was quite worried by the amount for giggling they were doing and the looks on both their faces were highly…evil. He scowled at them. They were at it again, he just knew it. Somehow, barely twenty-four hours after covering Simon’s walls in naked women, they’d managed to build a mechanical clown and rigged it to burst forth from the cake Zoe and Inara had baked for Kaylee and Simon to make them feel better about having naked women’s images super glued to his walls permanently.
The clown had exploded out of the top of the cake, spraying cake bits all over the mess and covered in sugary strawberry filling and icing and giggling crazily-though not as crazy as the pranksters themselves who had crumpled to the floor like ragdolls in a pile of quivering limbs as they giggled and gasped for air.
Inara had turned beat red, irate. She had never baked a cake (successfully) and having had it blown to bits had turned her on the pair instantly. River, who had managed to prop herself up on one shaky arm, took one look at the companion’s face and howled with renewed laughter, pointing as she couldn’t formulate words. Her anger only lessened slightly when she noticed that River and Jayne were clutching at one another as they cried out their laughter, trying to get a hold of themselves but finding it impossible.
Zoe hadn’t been mad, but annoyed. All the giggling was more than she could stand. She was more impressed than anything. Their pranks were not only successful, but original it seemed.
Simon was more impressed with Kaylee’s reaction, which had also been the most animated. Kaylee, was not too fond of clowns. She had let out a terrified scream and punched the mechanical terror clear across the mess, breathing heavily and angrily until she saw Jayne and River tangled up on the floor together, faces buried in one another’s necks as they half-cried, half-laughed and then she too had crumpled in laughter. That too had set the pair off further.
And now, they were at it again. The speed at which they schemed, plotted and then managed to rig up their evil little jokes was astounding. “Ain’t it great, Simon,” Kaylee sighed, “somethin’ ‘bout weddin’s that jus’ brings people together an’ makes ‘em friendly. Maybe they’ll stay friends even after.”
“It’s awful nice a the big guy ta play with yer sister,” Kaylee’s sister, Cora said, watching the pair with a small smile on her face. Simon while happy that the two were no longer yelling at one another very five minutes, was more than a little disturbed by the new friendship. After causing the cake to explode, the two had spent the better part of an hour picking cake bits and scooping frosting off one another and eating it. Though it had been innocent fun, it had definitely rattled Simon and Mal had seemed just as uncomfortable until River had shoved Jayne into a crash chair without warning, pegged him in the face with a handful of cake she’d scooped off the table, squealed, “You’re it” and tore out of the mess. Jayne hadn’t missed a beat. He’d wiped the cake from his face, shoveled it into his mouth and then grabbed a handful himself, and stormed out of the mess yelling as he tried not to laugh, “Yer gunna be pickin’ frostin’ outta yer hair fer a month when I get my hands on you, you moonbrained little girl!”
Simon watched his sister as she stood up and came to stand beside Jayne to peer over his shoulder and nodded to him, murmuring something in his ear. His face scrunched up in consternation and he dropped his chin into his hand with a pout on his face. River looked a bit troubled as well, dropping her chin onto his shoulder. She frowned and leaned her head against his. Jayne didn’t seem bothered by the contact, which he would have been less than a week ago. Jayne muttered something out thoughtfully and River nodded her agreement and settled down in the chair beside him.
It took Simon a few minutes to realize they were having an honest to God conversation and he hoped desperately that it was about their next prank. Luckily for him, it was.
“We gotta keep ‘em on their toes,” Jayne said, lookin’ to River as she watched him with serious, wide eyes. Her eyes were always wide. They kinda reminded him of little lost bunnies in them cartoony shows he’d watched when he was a youngin’ ‘cause if he didn’t Mattie would carry on about not bein’ able to watch’er princess movies. “we lose the element a surprise, they might catch on an’ get outta some of ‘em. An’ ya don’t want ‘em callin’ us on ‘em a’fore we get Mal. Then we won’t be doin’ none no more.”
“Our time is coming to an end,” River said, heaving a great sigh of sadness, her eyes got even wider, “no more playdates. Go back to playing with books and guns.”
“Really,” Jayne asked, surprised at how sad he felt about not getting to play with River-despite how loathe he was to admit he still played at all. Feeling very unhappy with the turn of events, Jayne knocked down the model they had built with a growl. River patted his shoulder and peeked up at him. “Want to come climb trees with me?”
‘No’ was on the tip of his tongue until he caught sight of her equally sad expression. He sat back in his chair and blew out a puff of air through his nose. “Lemme get a little drunk firs’.”