Keith needs a life

[rayluxuryacht]

And now since I am yet again temporarily stumped for things to write about, I present yet another meme I dredged off the internet somewhere.

Go to the Google search engine and type in your name and the word 'needs' after it, e.g. "John needs". Write down the description of the first 20 sentences that appear.And here's what I got

Comments

[missnickers]

ROTFL You are so funny! For some reason, "What? I slap around one prostitute, and suddenly I've got an attitude?" and "Yes, I always find defecation to be a good cure for mental anguish" in particular had me rolling on the floor.

I tried to do this one a while back, and I swear every single google hit had to do with Nicole Richie in some way shape or form. Feh. Perhaps I should do it again and see if it yeilds the same results?

PS - Do I want to know what you're doing at Brian Boitano's house? Then again, perhaps that answers the question, "What would Brian Boitano do?" :-O

WHO would Brian Boitano do?

[rayluxuryacht]

This one was weird. I was expecting a bunch of things like, "Keith needs help", etc. but some of them were just bizarre. "Keith needs a Rough Ride tonight"? "Keith needs a dump and get his head on straight"? WTF?

For curiosity, I did a google search on "Nicole needs", and you're right, most of the entries were either for Nicole Richie or Anna Nicole Smith. But you could still do it, cause then we could make fun of them. I'm all about the mockery.

For your information, I went to Brian Boitano's house for the sole purpose of finding out just what he'd do. As it turns out, he answered "eat cereal and read the newspaper" to most of the hypothetical situations I presented him with.

I think the question is who WOULDN'T Brian Boitano do?

[missnickers]

Haha, the Rough Ride one makes me think of our college quote wall, where my roommate Amy was quoted as saying, "I like 'em rough and ready!" Perhaps I should give you Amy's phone number, she might be able to help you out with your rough ride needs.

When you googled "Nicole needs" did you happen to notice how many times "Nicole needs bigger boobs" (or variations thereof) came up? Really, that does not help my self esteem issues.... :(

"Eat cereal and read the newspaper," eh? Is that what they're calling it these days? *smirk*

Your mama

[rayluxuryacht]

Most of the "Nicole needs" were something to the effect of "Nicole needs to eat something" or "Nicole needs to see a doctor". (She has an eating disorder, you see.) I was hoping there would be one like, "Nicole needs to smack Paris Hilton upside the head, but no such luck."

What I'm trying to figure out about Rough Ride was why it was capitalized. I guess they're trying to emphasize that I need a REALLY rough ride. Perhaps I should have asked that prostitute for a Rough Ride instead of smacking her around like I did. But what else could I do? She was salting my game! I can put those handcuffs wherever I like, thank you, it's my name on the credit card.

[thefabone]

Oh, you got a Veronica Mars-reference.

I tried this meme, and the first thing I got was someone else's answers to that same meme.
The second was "Fabian needs 4 more inches". 'Nuff said.

[rayluxuryacht]

I guess that's no worse than "Keith needs a Rough Ride tonight". Still, though, nothing can top "Keith needs a dump and get his head on straight". I can understand why they might be concerned about my mental state, but why they seem to think I suffer from constipation as well I have no idea.