Fun Facts 8: Taking Ass and Kicking Names

Feb 28, 2008 09:08

I know you enjoy these, Nicole, so here's a special treat for the final day of your bar ( Read more... )

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vixenfinn February 28 2008, 20:16:08 UTC
Fun Fact: Dr. Ruth actually arranges rock gardens for a living. But because of her thick accent, everyone thinks she's talking about sex.

I thought she was running a cooking show! That’s what it sounds like on the radio. I think Ling-Ling could run her show. Sure it would be in engrish, but you would get what he’s saying!

Fun Fact: Beethoven's name actually IS pronounced "beeth-oven", like it was in the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. He was named after the beeth oven, the most sophisticated device used in 18th century cooking.

And if he were French, then it would be Bouefoven

Fun Fact: Henry VIII, contrary to popular belief, did not get married to the widow next door. She actually lived three houses down. Thanks for changing history to suit your little song, guys.

I got married to the widow three houses down.
She is a whore who *really* got around.

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rayluxuryacht February 28 2008, 20:29:16 UTC
I thought she was running a cooking show! That’s what it sounds like on the radio. I think Ling-Ling could run her show. Sure it would be in engrish, but you would get what he’s saying!

And it would be way, way better than Bukkake Chef, too! Hmm, a show called The Erotic Chef... yeah, LL could host that!

I got married to the widow three houses down.
She is a whore who *really* got around.

ROFL! Maybe they're all dying of VD.

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missnickers February 29 2008, 02:39:33 UTC
"Fun Fact: Squirrels and hamsters are mortal enemies. Give them tiny swords and they'll fight all day."

I guess it's a good thing they don't have weapons when they're in Xandir's colon, huh?

"Fun Fact: Sex was invented by Alexander Graham Bell. No, wait. Not sex. The telephone."

LOL. I'm going to tell my kid that in hopes he actually writes it on a 1st grade test.

"Fun Fact: Approximately 78% of all pregnancies are just bad cases of gas."

I don't know why this one amused me so much. Maybe cuz from now on I'm gong to stand up, grab my stomach, and go, "OMG, I think I just miscarried!!! No... wait... that's right, I had taco bell for lunch, my bad."

"Fun Fact: Mexico is officially over this whole independence thing. They took out an ad in the yellow pages last year asking for someone to come conquer them again. So far, no takers."

Oh yeah. They play like they don't want to get invaded or colonized or whatever, but one look at their natural resources and arable land, and it's clear: they want it bad.

"Fun Fact: The reason that ( ... )

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rayluxuryacht February 29 2008, 02:56:38 UTC
"Fun Fact: Squirrels and hamsters are mortal enemies. Give them tiny swords and they'll fight all day."

I guess it's a good thing they don't have weapons when they're in Xandir's colon, huh?

Wait- does Xandir put squirrels in there? You know what- don't answer that.

"Fun Fact: Sex was invented by Alexander Graham Bell. No, wait. Not sex. The telephone."

LOL. I'm going to tell my kid that in hopes he actually writes it on a 1st grade test.

If he does, that one's going on the refrigerator for life!

"Fun Fact: Approximately 78% of all pregnancies are just bad cases of gas."

I don't know why this one amused me so much. Maybe cuz from now on I'm gong to stand up, grab my stomach, and go, "OMG, I think I just miscarried!!! No... wait... that's right, I had taco bell for lunch, my bad."Funny story- one of my sister's coworkers called in sick, claiming she was pregnant, then showed up to work again a few days later claiming she miscarried. Apparently she couldn't tell the difference between pregnancy and a stomach virus. It's possible ( ... )

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missnickers February 29 2008, 03:06:28 UTC
You should be proud of me 'cuz I made that test my bitch. Turned that mother out. Kicked it's ass. And many other slang metaphors.

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rayluxuryacht February 29 2008, 03:21:42 UTC
Oh, I knew you'd make it your bitch! The test is totally your ho now. Before you know it, it'll be calling you on your cell phone and you'll say "It's a call from my newest bitch". Then they'll be calling you Pimp N.

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