(Untitled)

[sheankelor]

Title: Breaking up
Author: Ree
Theme: If Only Mamoru hadn't gone to America
Genre: general
Version: AU - Dream Castle story line
Rating: G

My imagination is playing with dolls again, but they have created their own script. The originals belong to Takeuchi Naoko .

Comments

[raya_light]

Hmm... Too early to note typos? *teasing smile* I just popped in for a moment. J's not here yet, so I have a few minutes, hahaha. Oh! Speaking of which, did you see Y!R&R? Not sure if you check there regularly, and since I didn't see a response as of noon today, I assume you haven't been in.

Nice workout between the two of them. But Darian not going to America? Darian picking someone other than Usagi, yes, but not going to America? If that's your theme of choice, you'll need to work it in a bit better for me.

[sheankelor]

He is going to Peru... It is in there. really it is. Okay... you have to compare it to the next one that is supposed to be Choose someone else.

And yes I did. I thought I responded... I need to go see if I did. (Y!R&R)

And you made no comment on the new job one. *pouts* I worked hard on that one. I mean I had it shoved into my face as I was trying to wrap up this little ...(looks back at the number themes it has conquered) umm--m-m that is 14 part epic. Of course at that time it was only a 12 or 11 part. A tiny fuss- It is 8/3 can we please have the rest of the themes for July... there are other parts that want told, but I need the themes for inspiration. Like the SilMill Sailor Earth/Princess Serenity distraction.

*sighs* Okay.. back to the epic ending....

[raya_light]

If you did, I don't see it...

Yes, he's going to Peru. But not instead of America. And since you say Galaxia's defeated, he could still have gone as in the canon. So... It can be a pretty easy fix. At least, I think it could be.

*pets little sister* I read it and liked it, but didn't have time to comment. And then I forgot when I commented on this one. Sorry. I promise I will take the time to comment properly on all of them this week. Sometime this week. Around reading for noms and finishing your birthday/anniversary story and exercise and... Yeah, sometime this week. *smile*

I'm off to read the latest (no promise of comments since I'm supposed to be going to bed...). By the way, the concert was fantastic, but J and I are going nuts trying to figure out what the encore song was. Indiana Jones, Superman, a Star Wars theme (not the main one), or something else. We both think it's a TV show theme song, but nothing jumps out at me as being right darn it. I keep thinking Greatest American Hero, but nah. So, it must be

[raya_light]

*shakes head* Um, that first line... You don't have to say anything in return. I didn't mean it that way. Take your time. I just meant that I didn't see anything in case it got lost. ^-^ I know you'll respond when you get the time, I was just letting you know it was there.

Okay! Comment done. Walk done. Lunch done. Time to get back to work. ... Awwwwww.... *sighs reluctantly as she minimizes the window and puts the document that she was reviewing an hour ago back in front of her.* Pout.

[seniumboy]

The setting for this series is in America? LOL how the hell did I miss that even with you writing the English names...

Very good piece here. Fair tension, good notice of little details like how Serena wasn't her bouncy self and Rini's pink hair finally being noticed as a DNA hint that the father isn't Darien. That always bugged me in the anime. I suppose the red eyes must have meant that Chibiusa is a albino child o_o;

This just leaves one important thing that I don't know gets covered in your AU, but it registered when Darien mentioned Galiaxa - did Serena give him back the engagement ring?

By the way, this line seemed awfully cold to come from Serena. Maybe that's my take and I'm not reading something correctly in the tone, but it struck me as an oh shit thing to say: But I have someone that I love more than I love you.

Like I said, it might just be me. Breaking up is harder than I think is shown here.

So will Serena ever know she was dating her dad? XP

[sheankelor]

That line was cold, and it was the only way she could say it... straight out. Oops... the engagement ring... hum.. she didn't get one.. yeah I like that Idea. *giggles* I will just have to try and figure out what to do about that.

And breaking up is a lot harder than this... this was a mutual ending. They both knew that it was over and they accepted it. That is my only defense. *ducks head* I guess it is my inexperience showing... I've never broke up with anyone before.