(Untitled)

[sheankelor]

Title: A small dilemma - The Quest part XVI
Author: Ree
Theme: AU - Rich and famous
Genre: general
Version: AU - (manga/Anime)
Rating: G

Takeuchi Naoko created them. I'm just following a different branch on their universal tree.

Comments

[raya_light]

*being really bad*

I keep expecting the king to double cross them. Or make a second attempt, or whatever. Watch carefully, oh band of adventurers... He's likely to accuse you of theft. Or the items you've taken are cursed or charmed in a way that you will not like. Perhaps a stop at the Sage's house to give her Usagi's jewels as a reward for her help? ^-^ She'd recognize any curses or charms right off...

Some typos to be pointed out later, but for now, back to work. le sigh.

[sheankelor]

You are being really bad... He kept skating on that border, but wouldn't do it because Kunzite was there watching.

But they might just stop by the Saga's house just to be safe or.. I'll have to think about that.

It's almost done!!!!! YEAH!!!!! I just need to get them home.

[sheankelor]

Made a few adjustment, actually I added in some more action for the four lords. ^-^ They insisted. I also helped to show the King was being not so nice.

[seniumboy]

That king is being an asshole. I would have taken the time to describe him though, and the court of wizards. Showing appearances will give the reader more hints that the king is not so noble as his wizards. And I really like how Usagi handles him giving a good answer to all his questions on why they don't want land or titles or even a celebration to their honor. But again, show the characters. Do Usagi and the rest look like the average band of adventurers? Does Mamoru's armor or weapon have the mark of Usagi's kingdom? Is she in armor of any kind (say leather armor or some form of light armor)? That's the only detail I feel is missing from this part of the story were they try and pass themselves off as average adventurers.