(Untitled)

[sheankelor]

Title: A question of loyalties
Author: Ree
Theme: Makoto-loyalty
Genre: General
Version: Anime/Manga silver millennium (Fates storyline)
Rating: G

Makoto and her friends don't belong to me, but I'm sure you all know that. *Holds up the dolls and the paper dolls* But these... these belong to my daughter, so I can use them.

Comments

[seniumboy]

Very nice. I wouldn't have thought Venus would be the one to give Ersa her wand, but its a bit of a struggle right now to keep Sailor Diamonds out of my head while I read this. Only thing that might stand more polish is the henshin itself. It's a little brief and slightly unrealistic because of the thunder roll. I would mention the change, physically and maybe mentally, enhanced senses, things like that.

[sheankelor]

Raya's Sailor Diamonds? If that is the one your mixing it with I'm thrilled. ^-^ Thanks for the compliment.

And I'll see what I can do about her transformation. Probably tomorrow night.

[raya_light]

In the manga, they were young children when they swore to defend the baby princess. Ersa sounds much older, so this would be more Anime...

that Sailor Venus had handed her.

following the guide that the king? had provided them.

with emeralds.'I wonder what is in it.' <-- Note spacing error.

The emeralds glowed slightly.'She said it was mine.' <-- And again.

a green light shone briefly.

and the Moon Princess in particular. ' <-- Extra space

^-^ It's Ersa. Need I say more?

[sheankelor]

Thanks yet again... It is going to stay Manga/Anime just because it ts in Fates, and they are all Anime/Manga.