channeling again?

[ravenschild9]

I have put my christmas decorations up this year as well cause I am unhappy without it, It is christmas decorations every where outside, and in stores, other peoples homes. It is quite nice. i know, I know as a pagan I am not supposed to have that. But those stuff I have can be for the winter solstice as well like christmas tree/yuletree, christmas

Comments

[ravenschild9]

Thanks for your concern. The winter can make me more depressed. Also I am only taking st johnswort tea, no pills of any kind. Bingin makes me feel worser. I just dont remember that while I am bingin. I will be better on eating healty, and get off some of the sugar. I will see if I can get such full spektrum light bulb.

[emberleo]

Good insight - I suspect the turning of the year is also a factor, since spending time in the sunlight has come up repeatedly in messages for our friend here.

--Ember--

[ravenschild9]

Aww, It is not cause of you guys, yes I miss talking too you. But I understand that you arent feeling well, and you Ember have a lot to do. It is very hard to find counselling these days I am on a waiting list.

The worst with the winterdarkness is that it feels within as it is outside. But the sun will soon grow stronger, it will get warmer after the winter comes the spring. It is hard to not know when I will be working next time. Although my Gods assure me that all will be well, like they usually do. I have trouble believing it though at times.

[emberleo]

The straw Yulebok, honoring the gift-giving yulefather, burning a yule log, honoring the candle-crowned Lucia, and decorating an evergreen Yule tree are all fairly Pagan traditions, all of which I embrace as a modern Heathen.

Still, there's no rule that says a polytheist can't embrace some Christian stuff - the One True God assertion isn't a Pagan one, so there's no limitation against also celebrating Christmas if that's what you really feel called to do.

"The Morrigan asked on friday if I could channel Her again, if I would get unlimited freedom."

That doesn't make sense to me. The existing agreement was a year without channeling as long as you checked in with meditation regularly. That, we established, is healthier for you.

Do you have outside confirmation that She wants to change the plan? Have you been checking in with meditation as agreed? Are you wanting to be free of the obligation to check in, such that She would offer a change of plan in exchange? What's up?

"I will do it tonight as She request it."I would not do that.

[ravenschild9]

The straw Yulebok, honoring the gift-giving yulefather, burning a yule log, honoring the candle-crowned Lucia, and decorating an evergreen Yule tree are all fairly Pagan traditions, all of which I embrace as a modern Heathen

[emberleo]

If what you agreed to was to check in with Her daily and you're refusing to do that, then why would She be bound to keep up Her end of a contract you're not keeping at your end?

It sounds like She's proposing an alternative because you're not up for the daily check-ins as negotiated.

--Ember--

[ravenschild9]

I have spoken to The Morrigan, it wasnt any channeling last night. I have gotten back to my daily practises. I appologized for the neglection. But said that the negottiation was that Should come once a week if wanted too(whi ch I have done often twice or three, four times a week. The daily thing was in the morning devotion. I do meditate every day but dont invoke Her every day anymore. She wanted to know I just stopped without telling Her the reason. So spoke and agree to do some daily greeting during the morning ritual when I greet the other Goddesses. I promised to work on getting stronger better connection to Her, with meditate and walking, chanting.

[emberleo]

We've reached the point in the conversation where I point out that you're dwelling on your fears and anger again, and if you want to pull up out of it, you need to re-focus on the positive.

I'm not saying you needs are not valid needs. I'm just saying dwelling on the dark side of this other stuff isn't going to get those needs met anyway, so why dwell there?

So.

What in the past week has been positive, however small?

What can you do in the coming weekend to bring more light into your life?

--Ember--

[ravenschild9]

I agree. Well the positive in my last week was that I got to work much the whole week. Today I have decorated my mums yuletree/chrístmas tree listening to some christmas carols. Tomorrow I will work again meet a friend afterwards give her, her birthdaygift. Next week I will make my own candy and have a wintersolstice party at next weekend with my mum and sister I will celebrate the wintersolstice at the 21 december.

(I could see my self as free, that I am aloud to do what I want, be with whom I want, not They dont allow me to do some stuff i think would be good for me,, but I am not sure it is a good idea, so I will drop it, it could piss my gods off)

So I will repeat positive affirmations that I havent done much of. Paint, draw and write much more, right away when I get home. Cleansing bath/showers.

[emberleo]

That sounds like some really positive, emotionally supportive activities you've got planned.

And yes! Your affirmations are a great idea! As are the cleanings and artwork.

As I often hear from folks in my community, "Use Your Tools!" :D

--Ember--

[ravenschild9]

yeah, I often remind others of that as well, but forget it myself at times.