A Gift For Flyingharmony: We cannot thrive in winter (Andromeda/Narcissa, PG-13)
Author: yletylyf
Recipient: flyingharmony
Title: We cannot thrive in winter
Pairing: Andromeda/Narcissa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count/Art Medium: 2200
Summary: All her life, Narcissa only ever wanted one thing. Wealth, marriages, blood purity, wars-nothing else mattered without her sister in her life.
Author's Notes/Warnings: Incest (obviously). There is no underage or explicit sexual content, but do note that the story flirts with such themes.
1.
In a small terraced house in London, there lived a family of five. As the oldest sibling, Bellatrix Black had always had a bedroom to herself, while Andromeda and Narcissa shared one. They never minded that too much; although some fights were inevitable as the girls grew up, they had always been closer with one another than with Bellatrix.
They had been so close for so long, Narcissa could not actually remember when it started. The first time Narcissa crawled into Andromeda's bed to seek refuge from the thunderstorm? Was it when Narcissa had fallen in the mud and ruined her brand-new dress, and Mother refused to repair it or buy her a new one? Or was it that time Bellatrix first got her own wand, and practiced curses from Father's old books on her younger sisters?
However it started, it had always gone the same. Narcissa would cry and cling to Andromeda. Andromeda would wrap an arm around her sister, cradling her on Andromeda's chest, and stroke her hair with her other hand, murmuring soothing nothings. Narcissa would gradually calm down, and then lift her face to Andromeda's.
Who had kissed who first? Narcissa couldn't say anymore. For a long time, it was chaste and sisterly: two girls seeking comfort in each other and modeling behavior they didn't fully understand.
The night before Andromeda had to leave for Hogwarts for the first time, it felt more important than ever for Narcissa to seek comfort from her sister.
"You can't leave me here alone," Narcissa whispered into her sister's chest. Their room was dark and quiet, a refuge from the chaos outside and the future descending upon them.
"Don't be silly," Andromeda answered, stroking her sister's hair. "Bella is off at Hogwarts with me, and you'll have Mother and Father to yourself. Won't that be nice?"
Narcissa lifted a tear-stained face to Andromeda. "It won't be nice at all," she said crossly. "Because I won't have you."
Narcissa leaned forward and put her lips on Andromeda's. Andromeda kissed her back briefly, a quick peck, but when Andromeda broke it off and leaned her head back down on the pillows, Narcissa pressed forward to continue the kiss.
"Stop," Andromeda said gently, shoving her sister away by the cheek. "You're so dramatic. I'll write you every day and see you at Christmas."
Narcissa looked at her sister with wide eyes, like Andromeda had betrayed her in the worst possible fashion. "No one understands me like you," she said.
Andromeda tightened the arm wrapped around Narcissa. "We're sisters," she said. "Of course we understand each other."
Narcissa buried her face back in Andromeda's chest. "Bella doesn't," she muttered, her voice muffled by the nightgown.
"No," Andromeda agreed. "Bella doesn't. It's just us."
2.
It was the worst year of her young life-the year Andromeda was at Hogwarts and Narcissa was not. Andromeda did not write every day, like she'd promised. At first, she wrote every other day; then it became every week; then it was December and Narcissa had only heard from her once.
Narcissa thought herself utterly forsaken. Andromeda and Bellatrix came home with stars in their eyes and full of stories of a world that was, for nine more months, forbidden to Narcissa.
It was not fair. Narcissa punished Andromeda by not crawling in her bed once the entire holiday.
Andromeda didn't seem to notice. She was too full of Hogwarts.
Hogwarts, when it arrived, was not everything Narcissa had ever dreamed of. Andromeda and Narcissa did not share a bedroom, for one. The girls Narcissa did share a dorm with were not the right sort. No purebloods at all. Mother had warned Narcissa Hogwarts would be this way, but she hadn't understood.
Andromeda had time to pat Narcissa on the head when they ran into each other in the common room, but that was it. She informed Narcissa in no uncertain terms that no, Narcissa could not study with her and her friends in the library. No, Narcissa could not sit at the table in the Great Hall with them. And for heaven's sake, child, leave me alone for once in your life.
Narcissa hated Hogwarts.
3.
Andromeda told Narcissa to grow up, and stop being so codependent, and Narcissa did try. She did tolerably well on her exams, made the House Quidditch team as a Chaser, eventually became prefect (probably because Slughorn really liked her last name, more than he knew anything about her as a person), and finished school with a respectable amount of N.E.W.T.s.
Andromeda didn't want to cuddle with Narcissa in her bed anymore, and Narcissa eventually came to understand why. She listened to the girls in her year gossip happily about the cute boys in school, and watched them pair up and sneak off to deserted corridors and hide behind trees on the other side of the lawn and climb to school towers. Narcissa tried to kiss a boy-once-and it went so poorly, she swore it off forever.
At some point, she considered the idea that she liked witches instead of wizards. Narcissa caught the attention of a Ravenclaw with dark hair and brown eyes, widely considered to be the prettiest girl in school, and consented to hide in broom cupboards with her and try out the whole kissing thing again.
It wasn't particularly enthralling. There was no moment of truth, no fluttering of her heart, nothing that particularly explained to Narcissa why everyone wanted to do this with each other.
And if Narcissa would sometimes run into her sister in the corridors or the common room, and think of climbing into her bed and kissing her on the lips, and experience that elusive heart fluttering, well-she kept that to herself.
Narcissa finished school and moved back home. Andromeda lived at home, too, although she'd taken Bellatrix's bedroom. (Bellatrix had moved out and was off doing Merlin-knows-what. No one in her family knew, anyway.) Andromeda had some kind of copy-editing job, while Narcissa took a position as an assistant for a famous wizarding fashion designer. It was the most amount of time Narcissa had spent around Andromeda in a very long while.
Andromeda was secretive and not talkative. Narcissa ached to crawl into her bed and demand to hear everything her sister was thinking and feeling. She knew instinctively that Andromeda would reject her. But it did not stop her from wanting it.
Narcissa received a lot of letters and visits from young men who were more interested in her bloodline than anything else about her. Although she understood it, something about it revolted her in a way she could not name.
About a year after Narcissa finished school, the other shoe dropped.
Narcissa received a marriage proposal from a boy she'd gone to school with. He had been nice enough, and he had money and was from a good family-although not as pure as the Blacks. (Almost none were.)
It was a romantic, kind, earnest offer. But for some reason, it made her want to cry. She told him she would have to think about it, and that night, found Andromeda's bed for the first time since they were little girls.
Andromeda did not send her away. Narcissa cried into Andromeda's chest, and then lifted her head. Still teary, Narcissa kissed Andromeda.
For a moment, Andromeda kissed her back. Only for a moment.
"Please," Narcissa breathed.
"Oh, baby sister," Andromeda sighed, a frown creasing her brow. "We can't."
"We can," Narcissa urged. "I think of you every day, I dream about you, I picture you when I touch myself, the idea of sharing a bed with anyone else makes me ill-"
"I'm getting married," Andromeda cut her off.
Narcissa froze.
"We've been dating for years," Andromeda said. "And I love him."
"No," Narcissa whispered, stricken to her core. "You can't. You can't leave me."
Andromeda said nothing, but ran her fingers through Narcissa's hair as though they were children once again.
4.
Andromeda left.
Narcissa felt like she was living in a haze. Dimly, she understood that Andromeda chose a disgraceful marriage and there were rumors Andromeda was pregnant before she got married, but Narcissa could not process any of it.
All she could process was the abandonment.
Narcissa said "yes" to Lucius Malfoy, and wrote her sister a vicious letter. She poured out her inappropriate love for her sister, described all the ways in which Andromeda ruined her own life and Narcissa's life, discussed how angry their parents and Bellatrix were, and tried to make her jealous by waxing poetic over how handsome and rich Lucius Malfoy was.
Andromeda did not write her back.
Narcissa married Lucius, in the wedding of the year. Lucius's family was enormously wealthy, and Narcissa felt overwhelmed by it all. She didn't choose the wedding location, decorations, or even her own dress: Lucius's mother did all of it.
Narcissa was grateful for the decisions to be taken out of her hands. She went through the motions and said the right things in the right places.
When Lucius kissed her, it was wet and slippery and not soft and sweet like Andromeda's lips.
When Lucius made love to her, Narcissa thought about Andromeda's brown eyes, her dark hair, her stately features and the regal look in her eye, her slender hands and her lovely curves and never, ever breathed a word of it to her husband.
Narcissa did not stop writing her sister. She sent congratulations on Nymphadora's birth and inquired after the family's health. She asked about how the copyediting job was going. She never could, however, bear to speak of Ted Tonks, the person who stole her sister.
Narcissa did not hear back from Andromeda until her son, Draco, was born. Then, and only then, did Andromeda drop her a short, polite, impersonal note of congratulations and joy on the new arrival.
Narcissa burned it in the fireplace.
5.
Nearly two decades later, Ted Tonks would die. Lucius Malfoy would go to Azkaban for a war Narcissa never understood, and never paid enough attention to. Lucius would come back to her a shell of a person, and the Malfoys would host the Dark Lord inside their home.
Once handsome and funny and brilliant, the Dark Lord would become obsessive, cruel, and pitiless. Narcissa and her family would suffer greatly-even Bellatrix, although Bellatrix perhaps enjoyed it.
Narcissa would sit through Death Eater meetings by pretending like it was not really happening.
Narcissa would let everyone mock Andromeda without so much as blinking an eye.
When Bellatrix boasted that she and Narcissa had not spoken to Andromeda since she married Ted Tonks, perhaps Narcissa's traitorous thoughts would flash to all those letters over all those years, and those innocent childhood kisses.
If so, the Dark Lord was not paying attention, and Narcissa survived the moment to live another day.
6.
On the other side of the war, after Narcissa helped Harry Potter survive and live to slay the Dark Lord, Narcissa found herself with a husband again in Azkaban and a son who was not in prison, but completely uninterested in a relationship with the mother who had failed to prevent him from becoming a Death Eater.
Narcissa was alone, and Andromeda was left with only a grandson to keep her company in the long days ahead of them.
There was now no reason not to do it, and so Narcissa retrieved Andromeda's address from an old letter, and Apparated to her house in the countryside. The summer night was warm and the lane smelled of roses.
They never had roses in their childhood home, but Narcissa and Andromeda had loved them on neighbors' properties.
Andromeda let Narcissa into her house without a word. It was a comfortable cottage, superior to the cramped London terrace, but not on the level of Malfoy Manor.
Andromeda served tea, which smelled of rosehips. Narcissa breathed it in deeply. She was in her forties, an accomplished society woman and a mother, and she'd survived Voldemort in her home and two wars and received a medal from the Ministry at the urging of Harry Potter. But being in the presence of Andromeda again reduced her to feeling like a child.
"How are you?" Narcissa asked eventually, her voice strained as she sipped her tea.
"It's good to see you," Andromeda said rather than answering. "I've missed you."
"You have no idea," Narcissa said, feeling like she might cry. "You've never loved me as I loved you."
"Have I not?" Andromeda asked, raising one eyebrow.
"You-you have never chosen me," Narcissa said, her breath hitching.
"I never felt like I could," Andromeda answered, reaching over and laying a hand on top of Narcissa's.
"And now?" Narcissa asked, something like hope fluttering in her breast.
For answer, Andromeda leaned over the table and kissed Narcissa deeply. It was a kiss of a lover-not a sister. Narcissa wrapped her arms around Andromeda and kissed her back, drinking in the heady, intoxicating beauty of this woman.
"Now, I need you more than ever," Andromeda admitted. "Will you stay?"
It was a silly question. For Andromeda, Narcissa would always stay.
Recipient: flyingharmony
Title: We cannot thrive in winter
Pairing: Andromeda/Narcissa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count/Art Medium: 2200
Summary: All her life, Narcissa only ever wanted one thing. Wealth, marriages, blood purity, wars-nothing else mattered without her sister in her life.
Author's Notes/Warnings: Incest (obviously). There is no underage or explicit sexual content, but do note that the story flirts with such themes.
1.
In a small terraced house in London, there lived a family of five. As the oldest sibling, Bellatrix Black had always had a bedroom to herself, while Andromeda and Narcissa shared one. They never minded that too much; although some fights were inevitable as the girls grew up, they had always been closer with one another than with Bellatrix.
They had been so close for so long, Narcissa could not actually remember when it started. The first time Narcissa crawled into Andromeda's bed to seek refuge from the thunderstorm? Was it when Narcissa had fallen in the mud and ruined her brand-new dress, and Mother refused to repair it or buy her a new one? Or was it that time Bellatrix first got her own wand, and practiced curses from Father's old books on her younger sisters?
However it started, it had always gone the same. Narcissa would cry and cling to Andromeda. Andromeda would wrap an arm around her sister, cradling her on Andromeda's chest, and stroke her hair with her other hand, murmuring soothing nothings. Narcissa would gradually calm down, and then lift her face to Andromeda's.
Who had kissed who first? Narcissa couldn't say anymore. For a long time, it was chaste and sisterly: two girls seeking comfort in each other and modeling behavior they didn't fully understand.
The night before Andromeda had to leave for Hogwarts for the first time, it felt more important than ever for Narcissa to seek comfort from her sister.
"You can't leave me here alone," Narcissa whispered into her sister's chest. Their room was dark and quiet, a refuge from the chaos outside and the future descending upon them.
"Don't be silly," Andromeda answered, stroking her sister's hair. "Bella is off at Hogwarts with me, and you'll have Mother and Father to yourself. Won't that be nice?"
Narcissa lifted a tear-stained face to Andromeda. "It won't be nice at all," she said crossly. "Because I won't have you."
Narcissa leaned forward and put her lips on Andromeda's. Andromeda kissed her back briefly, a quick peck, but when Andromeda broke it off and leaned her head back down on the pillows, Narcissa pressed forward to continue the kiss.
"Stop," Andromeda said gently, shoving her sister away by the cheek. "You're so dramatic. I'll write you every day and see you at Christmas."
Narcissa looked at her sister with wide eyes, like Andromeda had betrayed her in the worst possible fashion. "No one understands me like you," she said.
Andromeda tightened the arm wrapped around Narcissa. "We're sisters," she said. "Of course we understand each other."
Narcissa buried her face back in Andromeda's chest. "Bella doesn't," she muttered, her voice muffled by the nightgown.
"No," Andromeda agreed. "Bella doesn't. It's just us."
2.
It was the worst year of her young life-the year Andromeda was at Hogwarts and Narcissa was not. Andromeda did not write every day, like she'd promised. At first, she wrote every other day; then it became every week; then it was December and Narcissa had only heard from her once.
Narcissa thought herself utterly forsaken. Andromeda and Bellatrix came home with stars in their eyes and full of stories of a world that was, for nine more months, forbidden to Narcissa.
It was not fair. Narcissa punished Andromeda by not crawling in her bed once the entire holiday.
Andromeda didn't seem to notice. She was too full of Hogwarts.
Hogwarts, when it arrived, was not everything Narcissa had ever dreamed of. Andromeda and Narcissa did not share a bedroom, for one. The girls Narcissa did share a dorm with were not the right sort. No purebloods at all. Mother had warned Narcissa Hogwarts would be this way, but she hadn't understood.
Andromeda had time to pat Narcissa on the head when they ran into each other in the common room, but that was it. She informed Narcissa in no uncertain terms that no, Narcissa could not study with her and her friends in the library. No, Narcissa could not sit at the table in the Great Hall with them. And for heaven's sake, child, leave me alone for once in your life.
Narcissa hated Hogwarts.
3.
Andromeda told Narcissa to grow up, and stop being so codependent, and Narcissa did try. She did tolerably well on her exams, made the House Quidditch team as a Chaser, eventually became prefect (probably because Slughorn really liked her last name, more than he knew anything about her as a person), and finished school with a respectable amount of N.E.W.T.s.
Andromeda didn't want to cuddle with Narcissa in her bed anymore, and Narcissa eventually came to understand why. She listened to the girls in her year gossip happily about the cute boys in school, and watched them pair up and sneak off to deserted corridors and hide behind trees on the other side of the lawn and climb to school towers. Narcissa tried to kiss a boy-once-and it went so poorly, she swore it off forever.
At some point, she considered the idea that she liked witches instead of wizards. Narcissa caught the attention of a Ravenclaw with dark hair and brown eyes, widely considered to be the prettiest girl in school, and consented to hide in broom cupboards with her and try out the whole kissing thing again.
It wasn't particularly enthralling. There was no moment of truth, no fluttering of her heart, nothing that particularly explained to Narcissa why everyone wanted to do this with each other.
And if Narcissa would sometimes run into her sister in the corridors or the common room, and think of climbing into her bed and kissing her on the lips, and experience that elusive heart fluttering, well-she kept that to herself.
Narcissa finished school and moved back home. Andromeda lived at home, too, although she'd taken Bellatrix's bedroom. (Bellatrix had moved out and was off doing Merlin-knows-what. No one in her family knew, anyway.) Andromeda had some kind of copy-editing job, while Narcissa took a position as an assistant for a famous wizarding fashion designer. It was the most amount of time Narcissa had spent around Andromeda in a very long while.
Andromeda was secretive and not talkative. Narcissa ached to crawl into her bed and demand to hear everything her sister was thinking and feeling. She knew instinctively that Andromeda would reject her. But it did not stop her from wanting it.
Narcissa received a lot of letters and visits from young men who were more interested in her bloodline than anything else about her. Although she understood it, something about it revolted her in a way she could not name.
About a year after Narcissa finished school, the other shoe dropped.
Narcissa received a marriage proposal from a boy she'd gone to school with. He had been nice enough, and he had money and was from a good family-although not as pure as the Blacks. (Almost none were.)
It was a romantic, kind, earnest offer. But for some reason, it made her want to cry. She told him she would have to think about it, and that night, found Andromeda's bed for the first time since they were little girls.
Andromeda did not send her away. Narcissa cried into Andromeda's chest, and then lifted her head. Still teary, Narcissa kissed Andromeda.
For a moment, Andromeda kissed her back. Only for a moment.
"Please," Narcissa breathed.
"Oh, baby sister," Andromeda sighed, a frown creasing her brow. "We can't."
"We can," Narcissa urged. "I think of you every day, I dream about you, I picture you when I touch myself, the idea of sharing a bed with anyone else makes me ill-"
"I'm getting married," Andromeda cut her off.
Narcissa froze.
"We've been dating for years," Andromeda said. "And I love him."
"No," Narcissa whispered, stricken to her core. "You can't. You can't leave me."
Andromeda said nothing, but ran her fingers through Narcissa's hair as though they were children once again.
4.
Andromeda left.
Narcissa felt like she was living in a haze. Dimly, she understood that Andromeda chose a disgraceful marriage and there were rumors Andromeda was pregnant before she got married, but Narcissa could not process any of it.
All she could process was the abandonment.
Narcissa said "yes" to Lucius Malfoy, and wrote her sister a vicious letter. She poured out her inappropriate love for her sister, described all the ways in which Andromeda ruined her own life and Narcissa's life, discussed how angry their parents and Bellatrix were, and tried to make her jealous by waxing poetic over how handsome and rich Lucius Malfoy was.
Andromeda did not write her back.
Narcissa married Lucius, in the wedding of the year. Lucius's family was enormously wealthy, and Narcissa felt overwhelmed by it all. She didn't choose the wedding location, decorations, or even her own dress: Lucius's mother did all of it.
Narcissa was grateful for the decisions to be taken out of her hands. She went through the motions and said the right things in the right places.
When Lucius kissed her, it was wet and slippery and not soft and sweet like Andromeda's lips.
When Lucius made love to her, Narcissa thought about Andromeda's brown eyes, her dark hair, her stately features and the regal look in her eye, her slender hands and her lovely curves and never, ever breathed a word of it to her husband.
Narcissa did not stop writing her sister. She sent congratulations on Nymphadora's birth and inquired after the family's health. She asked about how the copyediting job was going. She never could, however, bear to speak of Ted Tonks, the person who stole her sister.
Narcissa did not hear back from Andromeda until her son, Draco, was born. Then, and only then, did Andromeda drop her a short, polite, impersonal note of congratulations and joy on the new arrival.
Narcissa burned it in the fireplace.
5.
Nearly two decades later, Ted Tonks would die. Lucius Malfoy would go to Azkaban for a war Narcissa never understood, and never paid enough attention to. Lucius would come back to her a shell of a person, and the Malfoys would host the Dark Lord inside their home.
Once handsome and funny and brilliant, the Dark Lord would become obsessive, cruel, and pitiless. Narcissa and her family would suffer greatly-even Bellatrix, although Bellatrix perhaps enjoyed it.
Narcissa would sit through Death Eater meetings by pretending like it was not really happening.
Narcissa would let everyone mock Andromeda without so much as blinking an eye.
When Bellatrix boasted that she and Narcissa had not spoken to Andromeda since she married Ted Tonks, perhaps Narcissa's traitorous thoughts would flash to all those letters over all those years, and those innocent childhood kisses.
If so, the Dark Lord was not paying attention, and Narcissa survived the moment to live another day.
6.
On the other side of the war, after Narcissa helped Harry Potter survive and live to slay the Dark Lord, Narcissa found herself with a husband again in Azkaban and a son who was not in prison, but completely uninterested in a relationship with the mother who had failed to prevent him from becoming a Death Eater.
Narcissa was alone, and Andromeda was left with only a grandson to keep her company in the long days ahead of them.
There was now no reason not to do it, and so Narcissa retrieved Andromeda's address from an old letter, and Apparated to her house in the countryside. The summer night was warm and the lane smelled of roses.
They never had roses in their childhood home, but Narcissa and Andromeda had loved them on neighbors' properties.
Andromeda let Narcissa into her house without a word. It was a comfortable cottage, superior to the cramped London terrace, but not on the level of Malfoy Manor.
Andromeda served tea, which smelled of rosehips. Narcissa breathed it in deeply. She was in her forties, an accomplished society woman and a mother, and she'd survived Voldemort in her home and two wars and received a medal from the Ministry at the urging of Harry Potter. But being in the presence of Andromeda again reduced her to feeling like a child.
"How are you?" Narcissa asked eventually, her voice strained as she sipped her tea.
"It's good to see you," Andromeda said rather than answering. "I've missed you."
"You have no idea," Narcissa said, feeling like she might cry. "You've never loved me as I loved you."
"Have I not?" Andromeda asked, raising one eyebrow.
"You-you have never chosen me," Narcissa said, her breath hitching.
"I never felt like I could," Andromeda answered, reaching over and laying a hand on top of Narcissa's.
"And now?" Narcissa asked, something like hope fluttering in her breast.
For answer, Andromeda leaned over the table and kissed Narcissa deeply. It was a kiss of a lover-not a sister. Narcissa wrapped her arms around Andromeda and kissed her back, drinking in the heady, intoxicating beauty of this woman.
"Now, I need you more than ever," Andromeda admitted. "Will you stay?"
It was a silly question. For Andromeda, Narcissa would always stay.