A Gift for glittering_git: The Thin Line Between Wanting and Having, James Potter/Teddy Lupin
Author: digthewriter
Recipient: glittering_git
Title: The Thin Line Between Wanting and Having
Pairing: James Potter/Teddy Lupin
Rating: R
Word Count: ~ 2400
Summary: Teddy didn't know James was gay until he sees him at gay club with Blake Zabini.
Author's Notes: Original Character: Blake Zabini. Background: Ginny/Blaise, Harry/Draco, Past: Harry/Ginny. Past: Scorpius/Rose Weasley. Story's set in the year 2024. I've used some liberties with their ages and age differences. Not much, but it might not be truly canon. Thanks to "RuArcher" for the beta.
Teddy's purple hair was something that brought him attention wherever he went. It didn't matter if he was in a Muggle club or amongst wizards. It was also something that almost always helped him when he was on the pull. Wizards loved watching him change his hair colour, and Muggles, well, Muggle boys were ready to go down on their knees for him and he didn't even need do any magic tricks for them.
He'd expected the same tonight. He was at one of his favourite gay clubs, surrounded by beauty, hoping for a bit of stress relief. Christmas time was always overwhelming, exhilarating, and a little bit sad with his family. The time he'd spend with his grandmother was always good but it was the rest of his family - the extended and the adopted - that made him miss his parents.
But he wasn't at Glitter tonight to think about that. He was here to do the exact opposite.
"Hey, Teddy…" Nathan, one of Teddy's past blowjob buddies, crowded his space and gave him a hug. "It's been a while."
"Yeah…" Teddy said, looking away from Nathan when he tried to kiss him. "Who's that?"
Nathan's eyes followed Teddy to the corner where a man was dancing with two of his friends, Parker and Stephen. Parker and Stephen almost did everything and everyone together. The bloke dancing with them had his back to Teddy, but there was something familiar about him.
"Oh, he's new. Stopped by last week. Never saw him before. A bit shy…sweet really." Nathan wrapped his arms around Teddy's waist and tried to get his attention. "Do you wanna-"
"No, thanks," Teddy said as politely as possible. They’d had their fun together but Nathan was starting to get attached and Teddy wasn't having that. He liked Nathan as a friend a lot, but he didn't want to lead the man on.
"Oh. You're still cross about…"
"I'm not still cross," Teddy said quickly. About a month before, Nathan had thrown a jealous fit when he'd walked in on Teddy with someone else in the loo, but when they'd talked, he'd apologised for his reaction. Since then, Nathan tried in not-so-subtle ways to get Teddy alone. "I just want to be friends, okay? I'm not the right bloke for you, Nathan. We just…we had fun, didn't we?"
"I know but…" Nathan was still talking when Teddy stopped listening and released himself from his grip.
"Fuck me," said Teddy.
"What is it?" Nathan asked looking in the direction Teddy was staring at. "Oh, he doesn't do anything with anyone. Just dances with blokes and then turns them down. I told you, sweet."
The man dancing with Parker and Stephen made his way to the bar and ordered himself a drink. He'd turned around surveying the crowd and his eyes landed on Teddy. Teddy immediately made his way to him.
"Jamie?"
James Potter, Teddy's supposed god brother; okay, not really supposed, James was Teddy's god brother, was staring at him with as much surprise as Teddy felt.
"What are you doing here?" they both asked each other at the same time.
"Oh, you two know each other?" Nathan had evidently been right next to Teddy the entire time.
"Nathan, can you give us a minute, mate?"
Nathan looked crushed and Teddy wanted to roll his eyes but he returned his attention to James. He raised an eyebrow and looked at James, "Well, I'm waiting for an answer."
"I came with Blake," James said, looking around.
"Blake Zabini?" Teddy had no idea Blake was even gay.
"Mum said I needed to try and get along with my step-siblings. I mean, Albus and Scorpius are always attached at the hip, so I gave it a go with Blake. Turns out, he was super excited to find out I'm gay and-"
"I didn't know you and Blake are both gay."
"Blake's bi. And he'd never been with a man before so I suggested he experiment. In the Muggle world, no one would know us."
James seemed so nonchalant about everything, Teddy wanted to scream. Did he know Teddy was gay? Did he know Teddy would be here?
"He experiment?" Teddy asked, almost scoffing. "Blake is four years older than you."
"So? He's never been with a man."
"And you have?"
James visibly reddened and Teddy almost hated himself for finding that endearing. Blake was closer to Teddy's age than James's and Teddy was starting to feel overprotective, thinking Blake would be a terrible influence on James.
"Well, it's not like you were going to show me around…"
"Jamie…" Teddy's voice softened but he wasn't sure if James had heard him as the noise coming from the speakers also increased significantly. "Come with me." Teddy grabbed James by the elbow and took him to the lounge on the first floor. There was another bar there and a VIP room. Teddy knew the bouncer and he let them in even without having the VIP wristband.
"I can't believe you can get into the VIP area. Blake and I tried last week…"
"Yeah, I've been coming here for a while," said Teddy, especially since I started noticing you. Teddy tried not to think about how he'd distanced himself from James more and more.
"Right," James said, looking away. "Can you let go of me now?"
Teddy hadn't realised he was still gripping James by the elbow and he let go. "Sorry." James straightened looking around. "I didn't know you knew about me," Teddy said.
They sat on the only empty sofa in the corner, close so Teddy could hear James, and their knees bumped. He wanted to pull away but didn't. James didn't either.
"Of course I knew about you. I've watched you for ages. I knew when you broke up with Victoire and then when there were others." James's voice trailed off and he finally broke their gaze. He waved at the waiter walking around.
"Jamie, no." Teddy brought James's hand down and shooed the bloke away. "He isn't here to take your drink order."
"Why?"
"I'll buy you a drink. Be right back." Teddy stood up and made his way to the bar and ordered them both a whiskey. When he returned, he found James staring at someone far away. Teddy followed his gaze and found Blake sandwiched between Stephen and Parker, snogging.
"Is that why you stopped dancing with them?" Teddy asked handing a drink to James. "Sip slow."
James rolled his eyes. "I've had a drink before, Teddy." He swirled the drink around and took a sip. "And yeah. Dancing with Blake is one thing but those two guys wanted us all to fuck together. I mean…" He didn't finish his thought.
"What is it?" Teddy asked, placing his hand on James's knee and then immediately removing it.
"I'm already fucked up enough with my desire or whatever it is…I mean the last thing I want is to have sex with my step-brother. I mean, it was so weird when Scorpius was dating Rosie. And that was before Dad married Mr Malfoy."
Teddy laughed. It was strange, their little yet not-so-little family. That's why he'd also slightly freaked out to find out James was here with Blake. Ginny married Blaise Zabini when Teddy was thirteen. He remembered meeting and hating Blake then, and even now, he didn't like him.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't come to me. Have you talked to Harry or Draco? Your mum?"
James shrugged. "In passing. They ask me if I'm dating anyone and I started answering in pronouns finally. They're waiting for me. Everyone's always fucking waiting on me. I just wish…" He sighed and slightly sagged into the sofa. Their knees stopped touching then and Teddy missed feeling the warmth of James's body against his. Even at the littlest of touches, it was comforting.
This isn't the right time to start fantasising about him again, Lupin.
"Jamie, you can talk to me anytime you want. I mean, not tonight. You don't have to wait for anything. I want you to Floo me whenever you feel like it. I hate how I've not been there for you."
"And why's that?" James asked, sitting up straight again. "Why did you pull away from me?"
"I…" Teddy hesitated. What was he going to say? I saw you naked in the shower a few years ago and got so hard? Then I immediately felt ashamed. I wanked for days. Every time I close my eyes, I wish it's you on your knees? "Just some personal stuff."
"Right. Personal stuff."
Much to Teddy's surprise James stood up and started to walk away. "Where are you going?"
"I'm not here to have a heart-to-heart, Teddy. It's a fucking club. I'm here to dance until I find the right bloke to fu-take me home-"
"Jamie, don't do that. That's dangerous." He felt like an idiot saying the words. Wasn't it the same thing he did?
James obviously thought the same; he tilted his head and looked at Teddy, assessing him. "Dance with me then. Protect me." He raised an eyebrow as if it were a challenge.
"Let's go," Teddy said, once again grabbing James by the elbow and leading him to the other dance floor behind the VIP lounge. There was something thrilling about how easily James allowed Teddy to pull him away. How he leaned against Teddy once they'd arrived at the dance floor but were still standing on the outskirts of it.
James's hot breath tickled against Teddy's ear. "Are we just going to stand here-"
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Someone came around them, taking James's hand in his, clearly ready to steal him away from Teddy.
"He's with me," Teddy growled, almost slapping the man's hand away.
The man took a step back, his hands going up in mock surrender, and walked away.
"Fuck, that was hot." James turned Teddy around to face him. "Don't do it again. I won't be able to control myself."
"Control yourself?" Teddy asked, confused. "From what?" He waited to get some smart-arse answer but none came. "What is it?"
James closed the distance between them, his knee almost wedging itself in-between Teddy's legs and his cock pressing against Teddy's thigh. His hard cock. Teddy did not move at all. He watched, his heart beating a million miles for second as James raked his fingers through Teddy's hair and leaned in close again.
"It's difficult for me to not imagine myself on my knees for you. Or you on top of me as we're in my bed together. Do you even know how much I love your fucking hair? I dream of tugging on it while you suck my cock, Teddy."
And then, as if he were just the cruellest person in the world-he probably was-James took a step back. All contact between their bodies, gone.
"Control," he said.
"I'm starting to think it might be slightly overrated," replied Teddy.
James looked at him confused.
"Control," he said.
The smile James gave him then lit up the entire fucking room. Teddy felt like he could have died right then and there and it would have been a meaningful life. He'd lusted after James for a few years now, and that's why he'd been avoiding him. In that moment, he was more than certain, he was in love with James.
"Is that so?" James asked and Teddy nodded.
"I've been wasting my time, Jamie," he said. "I've been wasting my time avoiding you. I should have said something before. If I had known… If I'd known you could feel the same-"
"You feel the same?"
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
Teddy shrugged. "You were seventeen, and I was-I am older."
"Teddy, I've been in love with you since before I even knew what the fucking word meant. Why…how do you think I knew I was even gay?"
Before Teddy could reply, James once again erased the distance between them, and pressed his lips against Teddy's. It was tender at first, their first kiss, as if both of them were scared to do more. As if both of them were allowing the other to pull away while there was still time. But, Teddy didn't want that. He had finally got what he'd been craving for ages.
He tightened his grip on James's waist and pulled him closer still. He licked and nibbled on James's lower lip before pushing his tongue in. James moaned, his body vibrating against Teddy's, and he pressed their hips together.
When they pulled apart, Teddy felt like he was being watched. As he looked around, he found Blake, Parker, and Stephen staring at them. Parker and Stephen looked nothing more than simply aroused while Blake seemed to have a knowing grin. He didn't wait before he came over and patted James on the shoulder.
"So, finally!" he said to James who immediately blushed.
"What?" Teddy asked, clearly missing something.
"Ever since we became friends, this boy has not stopped talking about how much he fancies you," Blake said, "It's been exhausting."
James shook his head.
"You have? You're actually friends?"
"Yeah…" James said. "Blake has seen you at Glitter before. He said he'd only been here once. I wanted to see for myself. See you in action. Then maybe I'd get over my crush or whatever."
"Oh," Teddy said, and at the same time he heard Blake scoff.
"Crush," Blake said under his breath.
"Why haven't I seen you?" Teddy looked at Blake and asked.
Blake shrugged. "I use a charm to veil myself from wizards in Muggle places. My father doesn't want to read about me in the Prophet. It was fine before when he wasn't married to Ginny Weasley but…it's different now."
Teddy nodded. "Fame comes with the fam."
"Indeed." Blake looked at James and winked. "So I'm going to go with my friends here. Jamie, I trust you can find your way home tonight? Or wherever else…"
"Yeah," James said confidently. "Don't worry. I'm with him."
Teddy couldn't hide his grin when James leaned into him and kissed his cheek. "Is that okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," replied Teddy. "You're with me."
THE END
Recipient: glittering_git
Title: The Thin Line Between Wanting and Having
Pairing: James Potter/Teddy Lupin
Rating: R
Word Count: ~ 2400
Summary: Teddy didn't know James was gay until he sees him at gay club with Blake Zabini.
Author's Notes: Original Character: Blake Zabini. Background: Ginny/Blaise, Harry/Draco, Past: Harry/Ginny. Past: Scorpius/Rose Weasley. Story's set in the year 2024. I've used some liberties with their ages and age differences. Not much, but it might not be truly canon. Thanks to "RuArcher" for the beta.
Teddy's purple hair was something that brought him attention wherever he went. It didn't matter if he was in a Muggle club or amongst wizards. It was also something that almost always helped him when he was on the pull. Wizards loved watching him change his hair colour, and Muggles, well, Muggle boys were ready to go down on their knees for him and he didn't even need do any magic tricks for them.
He'd expected the same tonight. He was at one of his favourite gay clubs, surrounded by beauty, hoping for a bit of stress relief. Christmas time was always overwhelming, exhilarating, and a little bit sad with his family. The time he'd spend with his grandmother was always good but it was the rest of his family - the extended and the adopted - that made him miss his parents.
But he wasn't at Glitter tonight to think about that. He was here to do the exact opposite.
"Hey, Teddy…" Nathan, one of Teddy's past blowjob buddies, crowded his space and gave him a hug. "It's been a while."
"Yeah…" Teddy said, looking away from Nathan when he tried to kiss him. "Who's that?"
Nathan's eyes followed Teddy to the corner where a man was dancing with two of his friends, Parker and Stephen. Parker and Stephen almost did everything and everyone together. The bloke dancing with them had his back to Teddy, but there was something familiar about him.
"Oh, he's new. Stopped by last week. Never saw him before. A bit shy…sweet really." Nathan wrapped his arms around Teddy's waist and tried to get his attention. "Do you wanna-"
"No, thanks," Teddy said as politely as possible. They’d had their fun together but Nathan was starting to get attached and Teddy wasn't having that. He liked Nathan as a friend a lot, but he didn't want to lead the man on.
"Oh. You're still cross about…"
"I'm not still cross," Teddy said quickly. About a month before, Nathan had thrown a jealous fit when he'd walked in on Teddy with someone else in the loo, but when they'd talked, he'd apologised for his reaction. Since then, Nathan tried in not-so-subtle ways to get Teddy alone. "I just want to be friends, okay? I'm not the right bloke for you, Nathan. We just…we had fun, didn't we?"
"I know but…" Nathan was still talking when Teddy stopped listening and released himself from his grip.
"Fuck me," said Teddy.
"What is it?" Nathan asked looking in the direction Teddy was staring at. "Oh, he doesn't do anything with anyone. Just dances with blokes and then turns them down. I told you, sweet."
The man dancing with Parker and Stephen made his way to the bar and ordered himself a drink. He'd turned around surveying the crowd and his eyes landed on Teddy. Teddy immediately made his way to him.
"Jamie?"
James Potter, Teddy's supposed god brother; okay, not really supposed, James was Teddy's god brother, was staring at him with as much surprise as Teddy felt.
"What are you doing here?" they both asked each other at the same time.
"Oh, you two know each other?" Nathan had evidently been right next to Teddy the entire time.
"Nathan, can you give us a minute, mate?"
Nathan looked crushed and Teddy wanted to roll his eyes but he returned his attention to James. He raised an eyebrow and looked at James, "Well, I'm waiting for an answer."
"I came with Blake," James said, looking around.
"Blake Zabini?" Teddy had no idea Blake was even gay.
"Mum said I needed to try and get along with my step-siblings. I mean, Albus and Scorpius are always attached at the hip, so I gave it a go with Blake. Turns out, he was super excited to find out I'm gay and-"
"I didn't know you and Blake are both gay."
"Blake's bi. And he'd never been with a man before so I suggested he experiment. In the Muggle world, no one would know us."
James seemed so nonchalant about everything, Teddy wanted to scream. Did he know Teddy was gay? Did he know Teddy would be here?
"He experiment?" Teddy asked, almost scoffing. "Blake is four years older than you."
"So? He's never been with a man."
"And you have?"
James visibly reddened and Teddy almost hated himself for finding that endearing. Blake was closer to Teddy's age than James's and Teddy was starting to feel overprotective, thinking Blake would be a terrible influence on James.
"Well, it's not like you were going to show me around…"
"Jamie…" Teddy's voice softened but he wasn't sure if James had heard him as the noise coming from the speakers also increased significantly. "Come with me." Teddy grabbed James by the elbow and took him to the lounge on the first floor. There was another bar there and a VIP room. Teddy knew the bouncer and he let them in even without having the VIP wristband.
"I can't believe you can get into the VIP area. Blake and I tried last week…"
"Yeah, I've been coming here for a while," said Teddy, especially since I started noticing you. Teddy tried not to think about how he'd distanced himself from James more and more.
"Right," James said, looking away. "Can you let go of me now?"
Teddy hadn't realised he was still gripping James by the elbow and he let go. "Sorry." James straightened looking around. "I didn't know you knew about me," Teddy said.
They sat on the only empty sofa in the corner, close so Teddy could hear James, and their knees bumped. He wanted to pull away but didn't. James didn't either.
"Of course I knew about you. I've watched you for ages. I knew when you broke up with Victoire and then when there were others." James's voice trailed off and he finally broke their gaze. He waved at the waiter walking around.
"Jamie, no." Teddy brought James's hand down and shooed the bloke away. "He isn't here to take your drink order."
"Why?"
"I'll buy you a drink. Be right back." Teddy stood up and made his way to the bar and ordered them both a whiskey. When he returned, he found James staring at someone far away. Teddy followed his gaze and found Blake sandwiched between Stephen and Parker, snogging.
"Is that why you stopped dancing with them?" Teddy asked handing a drink to James. "Sip slow."
James rolled his eyes. "I've had a drink before, Teddy." He swirled the drink around and took a sip. "And yeah. Dancing with Blake is one thing but those two guys wanted us all to fuck together. I mean…" He didn't finish his thought.
"What is it?" Teddy asked, placing his hand on James's knee and then immediately removing it.
"I'm already fucked up enough with my desire or whatever it is…I mean the last thing I want is to have sex with my step-brother. I mean, it was so weird when Scorpius was dating Rosie. And that was before Dad married Mr Malfoy."
Teddy laughed. It was strange, their little yet not-so-little family. That's why he'd also slightly freaked out to find out James was here with Blake. Ginny married Blaise Zabini when Teddy was thirteen. He remembered meeting and hating Blake then, and even now, he didn't like him.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't come to me. Have you talked to Harry or Draco? Your mum?"
James shrugged. "In passing. They ask me if I'm dating anyone and I started answering in pronouns finally. They're waiting for me. Everyone's always fucking waiting on me. I just wish…" He sighed and slightly sagged into the sofa. Their knees stopped touching then and Teddy missed feeling the warmth of James's body against his. Even at the littlest of touches, it was comforting.
This isn't the right time to start fantasising about him again, Lupin.
"Jamie, you can talk to me anytime you want. I mean, not tonight. You don't have to wait for anything. I want you to Floo me whenever you feel like it. I hate how I've not been there for you."
"And why's that?" James asked, sitting up straight again. "Why did you pull away from me?"
"I…" Teddy hesitated. What was he going to say? I saw you naked in the shower a few years ago and got so hard? Then I immediately felt ashamed. I wanked for days. Every time I close my eyes, I wish it's you on your knees? "Just some personal stuff."
"Right. Personal stuff."
Much to Teddy's surprise James stood up and started to walk away. "Where are you going?"
"I'm not here to have a heart-to-heart, Teddy. It's a fucking club. I'm here to dance until I find the right bloke to fu-take me home-"
"Jamie, don't do that. That's dangerous." He felt like an idiot saying the words. Wasn't it the same thing he did?
James obviously thought the same; he tilted his head and looked at Teddy, assessing him. "Dance with me then. Protect me." He raised an eyebrow as if it were a challenge.
"Let's go," Teddy said, once again grabbing James by the elbow and leading him to the other dance floor behind the VIP lounge. There was something thrilling about how easily James allowed Teddy to pull him away. How he leaned against Teddy once they'd arrived at the dance floor but were still standing on the outskirts of it.
James's hot breath tickled against Teddy's ear. "Are we just going to stand here-"
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Someone came around them, taking James's hand in his, clearly ready to steal him away from Teddy.
"He's with me," Teddy growled, almost slapping the man's hand away.
The man took a step back, his hands going up in mock surrender, and walked away.
"Fuck, that was hot." James turned Teddy around to face him. "Don't do it again. I won't be able to control myself."
"Control yourself?" Teddy asked, confused. "From what?" He waited to get some smart-arse answer but none came. "What is it?"
James closed the distance between them, his knee almost wedging itself in-between Teddy's legs and his cock pressing against Teddy's thigh. His hard cock. Teddy did not move at all. He watched, his heart beating a million miles for second as James raked his fingers through Teddy's hair and leaned in close again.
"It's difficult for me to not imagine myself on my knees for you. Or you on top of me as we're in my bed together. Do you even know how much I love your fucking hair? I dream of tugging on it while you suck my cock, Teddy."
And then, as if he were just the cruellest person in the world-he probably was-James took a step back. All contact between their bodies, gone.
"Control," he said.
"I'm starting to think it might be slightly overrated," replied Teddy.
James looked at him confused.
"Control," he said.
The smile James gave him then lit up the entire fucking room. Teddy felt like he could have died right then and there and it would have been a meaningful life. He'd lusted after James for a few years now, and that's why he'd been avoiding him. In that moment, he was more than certain, he was in love with James.
"Is that so?" James asked and Teddy nodded.
"I've been wasting my time, Jamie," he said. "I've been wasting my time avoiding you. I should have said something before. If I had known… If I'd known you could feel the same-"
"You feel the same?"
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
Teddy shrugged. "You were seventeen, and I was-I am older."
"Teddy, I've been in love with you since before I even knew what the fucking word meant. Why…how do you think I knew I was even gay?"
Before Teddy could reply, James once again erased the distance between them, and pressed his lips against Teddy's. It was tender at first, their first kiss, as if both of them were scared to do more. As if both of them were allowing the other to pull away while there was still time. But, Teddy didn't want that. He had finally got what he'd been craving for ages.
He tightened his grip on James's waist and pulled him closer still. He licked and nibbled on James's lower lip before pushing his tongue in. James moaned, his body vibrating against Teddy's, and he pressed their hips together.
When they pulled apart, Teddy felt like he was being watched. As he looked around, he found Blake, Parker, and Stephen staring at them. Parker and Stephen looked nothing more than simply aroused while Blake seemed to have a knowing grin. He didn't wait before he came over and patted James on the shoulder.
"So, finally!" he said to James who immediately blushed.
"What?" Teddy asked, clearly missing something.
"Ever since we became friends, this boy has not stopped talking about how much he fancies you," Blake said, "It's been exhausting."
James shook his head.
"You have? You're actually friends?"
"Yeah…" James said. "Blake has seen you at Glitter before. He said he'd only been here once. I wanted to see for myself. See you in action. Then maybe I'd get over my crush or whatever."
"Oh," Teddy said, and at the same time he heard Blake scoff.
"Crush," Blake said under his breath.
"Why haven't I seen you?" Teddy looked at Blake and asked.
Blake shrugged. "I use a charm to veil myself from wizards in Muggle places. My father doesn't want to read about me in the Prophet. It was fine before when he wasn't married to Ginny Weasley but…it's different now."
Teddy nodded. "Fame comes with the fam."
"Indeed." Blake looked at James and winked. "So I'm going to go with my friends here. Jamie, I trust you can find your way home tonight? Or wherever else…"
"Yeah," James said confidently. "Don't worry. I'm with him."
Teddy couldn't hide his grin when James leaned into him and kissed his cheek. "Is that okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," replied Teddy. "You're with me."
THE END