Comments | ranuel: Fanfic: Leap of Faith

ranuel

Fanfic: Leap of Faith

Feb 29, 2008 23:44

EDIT 4/11/08

I saw today that this story has been nominated for an IYFG award. Thanks Robert! The link given was to this early version which contains a number of uncorrected punctuation errors and lacks additions and subtractions that were done after I had a chance to get more than a quick look over by a beta. Please click on the Leap of Faith ( Read more... )

leap of faith, writing, fanfic

Comments 11

takadai_no_tora March 1 2008, 05:20:46 UTC

Yeah, I can see Miroku sitting there going "Oh shit, I got what I always thought I wanted, so now what do I do with it."

ranuel March 1 2008, 05:32:10 UTC

*snort*

Once he got to that level of coherent thought.

fenikkusuken March 1 2008, 05:52:37 UTC

Verra nice, and so very true of someone who's been living with a deadly illness; their whole existence is geared towards enjoying life like an ancient Egyptian while they can. When they abruptly get to 'pass Go and collect $200', their entire world tilts sideways and often they can't cope.

Excellent characterizations! You should encourage that demanding bunny to hang around for a while!

ranuel March 1 2008, 06:12:54 UTC

Thank you. I was nervous about how well that particular theme would come out and if I was getting their voices right.

Now to ask my English Professor friend to tell me how to fix the comma issues people are mentioning in chat.

fenikkusuken March 1 2008, 06:19:03 UTC

Comma issues? What comma issues? I didn't notice anything, so it must have been quite subtle.

(The comment has been removed)

anonymous March 1 2008, 15:31:14 UTC

Oh, and you're welcome. I didn't see that until right now.

Good Stuff iniondia March 2 2008, 04:14:43 UTC

Very.

There are a couple of very minor grammatical errors, I will proofread and email you. There are one or two turns of phrase that could use a little polish, but overall, I'm quite impressed.

Re: Good Stuff ranuel March 2 2008, 05:11:46 UTC

Thanks, I'm happy that my non-fan friends were able to follow it with just what they know from me blathering on. There is a paragraph I'm not happy with and it may be the one you mean. I haven't had a chance to look at your suggestions yet.

Oh, Trevor is eating my brain and I finally found a reference pic for Lomion. I plan on posting some meta stuff about the process I'm going through to build the backstory for Trevor in particular soon. I haven't decided if I'll do that here, at WASIF or both.

Re: Good Stuff iniondia March 2 2008, 17:04:33 UTC

Both. Do both. I'm greedy like that.

Query on word choice in "Leap..." anonymous March 2 2008, 17:57:02 UTC

I have a question: Why in this line: "Putting his trust in his comrades after he was given a second chance to get things right in the bowels of his enemy" do you use the word "bowels?" Because I don't know the back story, I don't know if he was literally in the bowels/entrails of his enemy or was he just in the midst of his enemy? The sentence seems awkard to me if it is only that he is in the midst of the enemy.

Otherwise, I like it. The hero has doubts. Way to show them, and how his beloved helps him overcome them.

-Spelunker

Re: Query on word choice in "Leap..." ranuel March 2 2008, 19:52:50 UTC

I'm afraid it really IS bowels much to the dismay and bad jokes of fandom. in the most recent chapters they are fighting it out INSIDE the guts of Naraku.