A week with the Picasso, DeBateau and Contender households
Hi everyone! The end of uni is almost upon me. I have 1000 words left to write of my final essay, so that's 500 on Monday and 500 on Wednesday. I've already completed today's 500 words, so I'm happy to post this update without any nagging "you should be working" guilt hovering over me. Having completed Strangetown, I thought I'd tackle Desiderata Valley next. Turns out I only had one unplayed household there, but there were five unplayed ones in Belladonna Cove, so I figured I'd two two from there too, which leaves me three for next time. So, onto Desiderata Valley!
And the last family to play here is the Picaso's. They're a military family who came with Freetime, so that's why I put them in Desiderata Valley, but I can't help thinking I should've put them in Strangetown. Ah well, what's done is done.
They missed the carpool and walked to work, but they probably would've been better off skiving for the day.
Priya Ramaswami stops by to welcome them to the neighbourhood.
While Matthew searches for his LTW job.
Julien: Cool, a gnome. It'll look great in my garden.
Matthew: Me? Seriously?
Your mess, you clean it up.
Jessica: You don't think this house is haunted, do you?
Matthew: No.
Jessica: Then what's that weird moaning noise?
Matthew: Why, it's us!
Jessica: Hurry up and clean faster, I've got nowhere to cook and I'm starving.
And no wonder she's starving, she's pregnant!
Jessica: BLARF
John: -and then she had to call the fire department!
Dammit John, you're supposed to be swapping childcare tips, not gossip.
Jessica wanted to make friends with Priya, so she invited her over to hang out.
Jessica: Too slow.
Matthew: Do I have to?
Until you can shower without flooding the bathroom, yes.
Pop one.
After being woken up by her pregnancy pop, she indulged in some late night trash TV.
And late night nibbles.
They both had the day off, so I sent them out for dinner.
Matthew: Classy place this, isn't it? Wonder if they serve mac and cheese?
Sadly for Jessica, I forgot to keep an eye on her bladder motive.
So while Matthew was busy admiring the art...
...Jessica was giving herself a sponge bath in the toilets. Time to go home, I think.
Where apparently nothing interesting happened. So the next day, I sent Jessica back out to make friends.
Francis: I like your shirt. Very green.
Matthew: AGAIN!?
YOU MADE THE DAMN MESS! AGAIN!
Daniel Bell: Fuck you, asshole!
Wow, Daniel. What did Matthew ever do to you? Flood your bathroom too? (No, seriously. I have no idea.)
Daniel's little act of vandalism brings on premature labour. Either that or I just forgot to cap the second pop.
It's twins, a boy and a girl. I thought Jessica and Matthew seemed like the type to choose extremely generic names, so I looked at the most popular children's names in 2013 over on Behind The Name, and named them Oliver and Amelia and let me tell you, when I saw the most popular girl's name, it was a real struggle not to name the boy 'Rory'.
Jessica: It'll be all right on the floor, right?
Oliver: No!
Sanjay: What?
Matthew: Just to warn you, if your husband does actually steal the gnome, we may call the police.
Introducing: Competent Nanny! The myth! The legend! She changes dirty nappies!
She puts the baby in the crib and then leaves it the fuck alone!
She takes out the damn rubbish!
SHE PLAYS NICELY WITH HAPPY BABIES!
JUST LOOK AT HER WASH THAT CHILD! OMG! IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN'T DO???
Jessica: I'll give you $100 if you agree to never retire.
Before long, it's time for Oliver and Amelia to grow up.
Jessica: Toot.
Oliver first, and he's all ready for the beach.
Next up is Amelia, and in a cute twin thing, she has Oliver's hair, flicked to the other side.
And of course, the next move is radioactive toddler training.
Matthew: This is tedious.
Then be thankful you have magic juice that makes it happen faster. We don't have that out here in the real world.
Matthew: You do. It's called 'alcohol'.
OK, yes, there is that, but caring for toddlers while intoxicated is generally frowned upon.
More potty training.
The next day, I sent Matthew out to buy mobile phones because they're always useful.
He then examined a bunch of train posters.
Matthew: These are really nice.
They are, aren't they? I wish they still made posters like that.
Matthew: Bottle? Can you say 'bottle'?
Nanny: Uh, excuse me, that's MY fucking job.
Matthew: You can say 'high chair' though, right?
Amelia: I suppose if I must.
You better not be making any more babies.
I mean, the week's finishing and you haven't even finished training these ones.
Oliver: Bottle.
Matthew: That's right, clever boy, bottle!
Oliver: No, I mean, it was a request.
And it's over to Belladonna Cove now and the DeBateau family.
Tara: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff!
She ran into some of the Tricou teens at the coffee shop.
Alas it seems money can't buy social skills.
Tara: Video games are for LOOOO-SERSSSSSS.
Jeez, thanks a bunch.
Tara: Oh no, not you, everyone knows The Sims isn't a Real Game (TM).
Snooker's a real game though. They show it on TV and everything.
Back home, Armand helps with the homework.
He was then invited Downtown by Luis Aspir.
Armand: I could've sworn you were older.
Armand: Seriously, are you even old enough to be in here?
Armand: Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
I then had him buy a present for Tara.
Tara: Gasp! Is it a pony?
Armand: I know we can fit quite a lot in these little boxes, but a pony is pushing it.
Tara: -I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me...
Tara loves this damn thing. Every time she steps into her room, she goes for the guitar. I wouldn't mind if music was actually her OTH, but it isn't.
I invited Kimberly over and then had to give her a makeover because her hair was conflicting with Bristol Capp's bald head in my genderswapped uberhood. Then, of course, my game crashed.
Back in the game, Tara assures Sofia Baldwin that the apartment is haunted.
Tara: It's true! At night you can totally hear the ghost of the previous tenant banging on the walls.
Sofia: That's probably your neighbours trying to get you to shut the hell up.
Tara: ...Hey you got a hair sticking up, let me just get that for you.
Sofia: Ow!
Meanwhile, Armand and Kimberly get down to the important stuff.
The really important stuff.
Armand: Kimberly, you have done what my first wife failed to do and have borne me a son and heir, will you marry me?
Kimberly: Oh my God, what are you, Henry Tudor?
Kimberly: So long as you promise not to chop my head off, OK?
Post-engagement woohoo.
Photobucket deleted the next picture because they hate me or something. Like that's going to stop me from posting BRAZEN SIM NUDITY all over the internet. Avert thine eyes, children!
Armand: YEE-HAW!
Tara: LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
That would explain how you managed to miss the hobby woman battering the door down.
Armand: I'm hooooome!
He brought Connor Weir home with him, but they didn't seem to get along very well.
Armand: I thought you'd be less annoying out of work but I was wrong.
Landlord: Don't mind me, just trimming the bushes.
Armand: I'd just like to remind you that I am one of the richest sims in this game.
I sent him out to socialise.
Then he went to buy some delicious baked goods from Phoenix Wright, who has apparently given up gambling.
I then sent Tara to the local gaming place because all she did at home was play her damn guitar.
She made friends with Lucy Burb, which amuses me slightly because Lucy's parents are going to struggle to pay the rent when I next go and play them, while Tara's dad just brought a vacation home on Twikki Island.
I figured Armand was the kind of guy who'd own holiday homes all over the globe, so they're off to check out the first one.
Today in Things I Did Not Know About This Game: you can get gifts when you make an offering at the ruins!
You're never too old to build sandcastles on your own private beach.
Tara: When do I get to play with fire?
Fire Dancer: When you stop dropping the damn thing all over my mat.
She does eventually progress to twirly fire stunts though.
You're never too old to destroy sandcastles on your own private beach.
Armand: Look, Tara, I'm Godzilla!
That's enough of that. Back home, I discovered that Tara's OTH is Fitness, so I sent her to the gym to work out.
Tara: Ow. Ow. I don't think my limbs were made to bend this way.
Ginger: Fuck OFF!
There's still mountains of money burning a hole in Armand's pocket, so I had him buy up all the video games because sometimes I get bored of SSX and Sims 3.
Then it's time for the weekend pizza party!
Tara: Free pizza is the best pizza.
I think you'll find Spinoccoli pizza is the best piz-no, you're right, free pizza is the best.
I brought Tara a workout mat of her own and she immediately shamed me with one-handed push-ups. I can't even do a two-handed push-up. Although I can do a backwards spiral, so I guess I'm not totally outclassed here.
And then it's wedding time.
Kimberley: I promise to love you more than your money.
Sofia showed up for the occasion.
And much to my amusement, so did little Adam.
The church didn't have any refreshments available, so I sent the new family out to Londoste to celebrate.
Armand: A toast! To us!
Tara: How about we celebrate with another vacation?
Armand: Maybe next week.
It looks like one of the 'perks' of working at Londoste is the customer's leftovers. Lovely.
Kimberly immediately starts showing Adam around his new home.
Kimberly: And that's what the ceilings look like.
Followed by some training from Armand.
Kimberly: I promise, I'm not trying to steal your inheritance or anything.
Tara: You can't. Daddy put it all in a trust fund already.
And by trust fund, I mean a stack of gold bars in her inventory.
And the week ends with Adam smashing a car into the very child-unfriendly marble floor.
Over to Carlos Contender next! He's a Romance sim, so I intend to have him hook up with some of those sims who want 20 lovers. So I was pretty pleased when Nina Caliente asked him out on an outting.
And she brought Chloe Curious!
AND Chastity Gere!? Romance sim jackpot!
Carlos has a ton of body points, so he's actually quite impressive on the dance sphere. Except nobody's paying any attention.
Carlos: Chastity! Chastity! Over here!
Sorry, Carlos, Chastity's busy rejecting Natasha right now.
Natasha: I thought we had something!
Chastity: We do. Just not in public.
I'm impressed. He only stopped because he needed to pee. The stars are just because he's dizzy.
If I had adult mods in my game, this evening would end with them all eating those desserts off each other.
Gabriel: I can tell when I'm not wanted.
I wonder what his hobby could be? If only there was some sign to let me know.
Well shit.
So, I really wanted him to get to know Chloe better, but she didn't show up on his list on contacts, which is a bummer. So I invited over Nina instead. I have no idea if she wants 20 lovers too, but even if it's not her LTW, another lover will probably give her a nice aspiration boost anyway.
That didn't take long.
Carlos: *likes what he sees*
Anyway. Carlos is getting on in age, and fancied giving up his job as Hall Of Famer to become a Professional Party Guest. But the job wasn't showing up on the computer, so in the end, I sent him to the library to check the noticeboard. It would be some time before I realised he had the crappy elder job though.
Gilbert Jacquet came over and they chilled in the hot tub for a while.
Gilbert: Has this thing been cleaned recently? There's a scummy ring around the edge.
Carlos: ...Did I ever tell you about the time I had to fight a robot?
I sent him out to the Strangetown pool to swim and meet people and by meet people I mean Chloe before I remembered she lives Downtown now, and the hotdog stand has apparently branched out and started selling ramen. Should I worry?
I then sent him to the sports park to play and messed around with the Visitor Controller for a while to see if she'd turn up that way (she didn't).
Then I figured what the hell, I'm already cheating, just teleport her over!
Chloe: Just let me kill these bugs.
Mmm, romantic.
I hoped if I left them alone, she'd hop on his dick, but they just played darts all night long. :(
Goddamn elder jobs.
So because he hasn't got work, and his job STILL hasn't shown up, I make him while away the hours by keeping his boxing skills up-to-date.
Chloe comes over again for some more darts.
I got all excited when they moved to the sofa, but all they did was chat some more. I may actually need to order them to flirt.
Then the computer broke, so I made Carlos fix it so he could find his job before he dies, but it's still a no-show.
Chloe: So what are your thoughts on Captain Hero?
Carlos: Well I hear there's been a sudden increase of criminal activity in SimCity recently, so they might need some additional support from the police force.
You call yourselves Romance sims!?
Oh, that's better. Just a shame it was a kiss goodbye.
Uberhood Index
And the last family to play here is the Picaso's. They're a military family who came with Freetime, so that's why I put them in Desiderata Valley, but I can't help thinking I should've put them in Strangetown. Ah well, what's done is done.
They missed the carpool and walked to work, but they probably would've been better off skiving for the day.
Priya Ramaswami stops by to welcome them to the neighbourhood.
While Matthew searches for his LTW job.
Julien: Cool, a gnome. It'll look great in my garden.
Matthew: Me? Seriously?
Your mess, you clean it up.
Jessica: You don't think this house is haunted, do you?
Matthew: No.
Jessica: Then what's that weird moaning noise?
Matthew: Why, it's us!
Jessica: Hurry up and clean faster, I've got nowhere to cook and I'm starving.
And no wonder she's starving, she's pregnant!
Jessica: BLARF
John: -and then she had to call the fire department!
Dammit John, you're supposed to be swapping childcare tips, not gossip.
Jessica wanted to make friends with Priya, so she invited her over to hang out.
Jessica: Too slow.
Matthew: Do I have to?
Until you can shower without flooding the bathroom, yes.
Pop one.
After being woken up by her pregnancy pop, she indulged in some late night trash TV.
And late night nibbles.
They both had the day off, so I sent them out for dinner.
Matthew: Classy place this, isn't it? Wonder if they serve mac and cheese?
Sadly for Jessica, I forgot to keep an eye on her bladder motive.
So while Matthew was busy admiring the art...
...Jessica was giving herself a sponge bath in the toilets. Time to go home, I think.
Where apparently nothing interesting happened. So the next day, I sent Jessica back out to make friends.
Francis: I like your shirt. Very green.
Matthew: AGAIN!?
YOU MADE THE DAMN MESS! AGAIN!
Daniel Bell: Fuck you, asshole!
Wow, Daniel. What did Matthew ever do to you? Flood your bathroom too? (No, seriously. I have no idea.)
Daniel's little act of vandalism brings on premature labour. Either that or I just forgot to cap the second pop.
It's twins, a boy and a girl. I thought Jessica and Matthew seemed like the type to choose extremely generic names, so I looked at the most popular children's names in 2013 over on Behind The Name, and named them Oliver and Amelia and let me tell you, when I saw the most popular girl's name, it was a real struggle not to name the boy 'Rory'.
Jessica: It'll be all right on the floor, right?
Oliver: No!
Sanjay: What?
Matthew: Just to warn you, if your husband does actually steal the gnome, we may call the police.
Introducing: Competent Nanny! The myth! The legend! She changes dirty nappies!
She puts the baby in the crib and then leaves it the fuck alone!
She takes out the damn rubbish!
SHE PLAYS NICELY WITH HAPPY BABIES!
JUST LOOK AT HER WASH THAT CHILD! OMG! IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN'T DO???
Jessica: I'll give you $100 if you agree to never retire.
Before long, it's time for Oliver and Amelia to grow up.
Jessica: Toot.
Oliver first, and he's all ready for the beach.
Next up is Amelia, and in a cute twin thing, she has Oliver's hair, flicked to the other side.
And of course, the next move is radioactive toddler training.
Matthew: This is tedious.
Then be thankful you have magic juice that makes it happen faster. We don't have that out here in the real world.
Matthew: You do. It's called 'alcohol'.
OK, yes, there is that, but caring for toddlers while intoxicated is generally frowned upon.
More potty training.
The next day, I sent Matthew out to buy mobile phones because they're always useful.
He then examined a bunch of train posters.
Matthew: These are really nice.
They are, aren't they? I wish they still made posters like that.
Matthew: Bottle? Can you say 'bottle'?
Nanny: Uh, excuse me, that's MY fucking job.
Matthew: You can say 'high chair' though, right?
Amelia: I suppose if I must.
You better not be making any more babies.
I mean, the week's finishing and you haven't even finished training these ones.
Oliver: Bottle.
Matthew: That's right, clever boy, bottle!
Oliver: No, I mean, it was a request.
And it's over to Belladonna Cove now and the DeBateau family.
Tara: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff!
She ran into some of the Tricou teens at the coffee shop.
Alas it seems money can't buy social skills.
Tara: Video games are for LOOOO-SERSSSSSS.
Jeez, thanks a bunch.
Tara: Oh no, not you, everyone knows The Sims isn't a Real Game (TM).
Snooker's a real game though. They show it on TV and everything.
Back home, Armand helps with the homework.
He was then invited Downtown by Luis Aspir.
Armand: I could've sworn you were older.
Armand: Seriously, are you even old enough to be in here?
Armand: Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
I then had him buy a present for Tara.
Tara: Gasp! Is it a pony?
Armand: I know we can fit quite a lot in these little boxes, but a pony is pushing it.
Tara: -I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me...
Tara loves this damn thing. Every time she steps into her room, she goes for the guitar. I wouldn't mind if music was actually her OTH, but it isn't.
I invited Kimberly over and then had to give her a makeover because her hair was conflicting with Bristol Capp's bald head in my genderswapped uberhood. Then, of course, my game crashed.
Back in the game, Tara assures Sofia Baldwin that the apartment is haunted.
Tara: It's true! At night you can totally hear the ghost of the previous tenant banging on the walls.
Sofia: That's probably your neighbours trying to get you to shut the hell up.
Tara: ...Hey you got a hair sticking up, let me just get that for you.
Sofia: Ow!
Meanwhile, Armand and Kimberly get down to the important stuff.
The really important stuff.
Armand: Kimberly, you have done what my first wife failed to do and have borne me a son and heir, will you marry me?
Kimberly: Oh my God, what are you, Henry Tudor?
Kimberly: So long as you promise not to chop my head off, OK?
Post-engagement woohoo.
Photobucket deleted the next picture because they hate me or something. Like that's going to stop me from posting BRAZEN SIM NUDITY all over the internet. Avert thine eyes, children!
Armand: YEE-HAW!
Tara: LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING.
That would explain how you managed to miss the hobby woman battering the door down.
Armand: I'm hooooome!
He brought Connor Weir home with him, but they didn't seem to get along very well.
Armand: I thought you'd be less annoying out of work but I was wrong.
Landlord: Don't mind me, just trimming the bushes.
Armand: I'd just like to remind you that I am one of the richest sims in this game.
I sent him out to socialise.
Then he went to buy some delicious baked goods from Phoenix Wright, who has apparently given up gambling.
I then sent Tara to the local gaming place because all she did at home was play her damn guitar.
She made friends with Lucy Burb, which amuses me slightly because Lucy's parents are going to struggle to pay the rent when I next go and play them, while Tara's dad just brought a vacation home on Twikki Island.
I figured Armand was the kind of guy who'd own holiday homes all over the globe, so they're off to check out the first one.
Today in Things I Did Not Know About This Game: you can get gifts when you make an offering at the ruins!
You're never too old to build sandcastles on your own private beach.
Tara: When do I get to play with fire?
Fire Dancer: When you stop dropping the damn thing all over my mat.
She does eventually progress to twirly fire stunts though.
You're never too old to destroy sandcastles on your own private beach.
Armand: Look, Tara, I'm Godzilla!
That's enough of that. Back home, I discovered that Tara's OTH is Fitness, so I sent her to the gym to work out.
Tara: Ow. Ow. I don't think my limbs were made to bend this way.
Ginger: Fuck OFF!
There's still mountains of money burning a hole in Armand's pocket, so I had him buy up all the video games because sometimes I get bored of SSX and Sims 3.
Then it's time for the weekend pizza party!
Tara: Free pizza is the best pizza.
I think you'll find Spinoccoli pizza is the best piz-no, you're right, free pizza is the best.
I brought Tara a workout mat of her own and she immediately shamed me with one-handed push-ups. I can't even do a two-handed push-up. Although I can do a backwards spiral, so I guess I'm not totally outclassed here.
And then it's wedding time.
Kimberley: I promise to love you more than your money.
Sofia showed up for the occasion.
And much to my amusement, so did little Adam.
The church didn't have any refreshments available, so I sent the new family out to Londoste to celebrate.
Armand: A toast! To us!
Tara: How about we celebrate with another vacation?
Armand: Maybe next week.
It looks like one of the 'perks' of working at Londoste is the customer's leftovers. Lovely.
Kimberly immediately starts showing Adam around his new home.
Kimberly: And that's what the ceilings look like.
Followed by some training from Armand.
Kimberly: I promise, I'm not trying to steal your inheritance or anything.
Tara: You can't. Daddy put it all in a trust fund already.
And by trust fund, I mean a stack of gold bars in her inventory.
And the week ends with Adam smashing a car into the very child-unfriendly marble floor.
Over to Carlos Contender next! He's a Romance sim, so I intend to have him hook up with some of those sims who want 20 lovers. So I was pretty pleased when Nina Caliente asked him out on an outting.
And she brought Chloe Curious!
AND Chastity Gere!? Romance sim jackpot!
Carlos has a ton of body points, so he's actually quite impressive on the dance sphere. Except nobody's paying any attention.
Carlos: Chastity! Chastity! Over here!
Sorry, Carlos, Chastity's busy rejecting Natasha right now.
Natasha: I thought we had something!
Chastity: We do. Just not in public.
I'm impressed. He only stopped because he needed to pee. The stars are just because he's dizzy.
If I had adult mods in my game, this evening would end with them all eating those desserts off each other.
Gabriel: I can tell when I'm not wanted.
I wonder what his hobby could be? If only there was some sign to let me know.
Well shit.
So, I really wanted him to get to know Chloe better, but she didn't show up on his list on contacts, which is a bummer. So I invited over Nina instead. I have no idea if she wants 20 lovers too, but even if it's not her LTW, another lover will probably give her a nice aspiration boost anyway.
That didn't take long.
Carlos: *likes what he sees*
Anyway. Carlos is getting on in age, and fancied giving up his job as Hall Of Famer to become a Professional Party Guest. But the job wasn't showing up on the computer, so in the end, I sent him to the library to check the noticeboard. It would be some time before I realised he had the crappy elder job though.
Gilbert Jacquet came over and they chilled in the hot tub for a while.
Gilbert: Has this thing been cleaned recently? There's a scummy ring around the edge.
Carlos: ...Did I ever tell you about the time I had to fight a robot?
I sent him out to the Strangetown pool to swim and meet people and by meet people I mean Chloe before I remembered she lives Downtown now, and the hotdog stand has apparently branched out and started selling ramen. Should I worry?
I then sent him to the sports park to play and messed around with the Visitor Controller for a while to see if she'd turn up that way (she didn't).
Then I figured what the hell, I'm already cheating, just teleport her over!
Chloe: Just let me kill these bugs.
Mmm, romantic.
I hoped if I left them alone, she'd hop on his dick, but they just played darts all night long. :(
Goddamn elder jobs.
So because he hasn't got work, and his job STILL hasn't shown up, I make him while away the hours by keeping his boxing skills up-to-date.
Chloe comes over again for some more darts.
I got all excited when they moved to the sofa, but all they did was chat some more. I may actually need to order them to flirt.
Then the computer broke, so I made Carlos fix it so he could find his job before he dies, but it's still a no-show.
Chloe: So what are your thoughts on Captain Hero?
Carlos: Well I hear there's been a sudden increase of criminal activity in SimCity recently, so they might need some additional support from the police force.
You call yourselves Romance sims!?
Oh, that's better. Just a shame it was a kiss goodbye.
Uberhood Index