A week with the Ramirez and Cordial families
Welcome back to the Uberhood, where today, I'll be visiting a couple of families in Bluewater Village and Belladonna Cove.
First, to the Ramirez household, where Checo and Lisa approve of their makeovers.
Checo: Nice undies.
Lisa: Thanks!
Stephen Tinker walks by and when I send Checo out to greet him, I get my first look at Bluewater's wonky terrain. Wow. That's some road. (Go home, road. You're drunk.)
Neither Lisa or Checo's dream jobs show up that day, so I let them muck about on the piano until Tessa comes home from school.
Tessa; What on Earth is that awful racket?
Lisa: I think it might be Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but to be honest, it could be anything.
And as soon as Tessa's makeover's done, before she can even change back into her everyday clothes, it's down to homework.
I guess Checo and Lisa felt like joining in the underwear party.
Checo: Did she say 'party in our pants?'
Lisa: There's already one in mine.
Devin Patel opted to keep his clothes on.
That evening, Checo was invited Downtown by Consort Capp. He took the whole family - as did Consort, by the look of things.
Tessa: So what's it like being a teen?
Desdemona: It seems to involve an extraordinary amount of childcare.
Lisa: Quads, huh? That sounds rough.
Goneril: I haven't slept in three days and my hair is full of baby vomit.
Checo: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA-
Consort: You know the words are on the screen, right?
Checo: It's "Hey Jude." Those are the words.
Bored?
Lisa: Meh.
Checo: Zzzz.
You two are rubbish company. I'm not inviting you out again.
I mean, look at Tessa, she knows how to have fun.
Tybalt: Wheeee, I can fly!
Desdemona: I think my wings are broken.
The next morning, I sent Checo out to check the paper, only for Malcolm to snatch it out of his hands.
Malcolm: Today, the paper, tomorrow, the world!
Fuck you, Malcolm, they needed those jobs! (It will be some time before I remember they already own a computer.)
Especially as their business has borked and they don't seem to own it any more.
Happily after I sold it and brought it back again, it all worked. They even kept the furniture until Dina brought it. Sadly they only really made enough money to cover bills, so placing a ceiling will have to wait.
Lisa brought Gabe O'Mackey home from work and looks very pleased about it.
Lisa: Friendmaking! :D :D :D
Checo stole him for sports.
While they had guests, Tessa decided she'd like to contribute towards the household funds and sell them lemonade. Wanda Tinker was the first to purchase a cup.
Wanda: Thanks, kid. I'm dying of thirst after trekking up that wonky hill in these heels.
Then Riordan Summerdream and Malcolm tried some too. (Maybe Malcolm feels bad about the newspaper theft?)
And then!
Lisa: We got rid of Tessa's old baby toys, do you know a good place we can get some new ones?
Yeah, Tessa's not sharing her toys.
Tessa: Mine.
Some mother-daughter bonding over video games.
Checo went back to the store the next day and Miranda Capp threw her bags on the floor in a fit of temper.
Miranda: I don't have time for this shit, there's four babies full of it at home.
Go Tessa!
Tessa: But I was so awesome at school today, why do I have to do homework?
To keep the Social Worker away.
I don't know who Checo's talking to here, but it looks like a very intense conversation.
Checo: MAGENTA IS PINK.
Just a family dinner because I'm a sucker for them.
Apparently I'm also a sucker for mother-daughter video game bonding.
Despite the fact that Lisa's due to pop any second, I gave in to Tessa's puppy want and she adopted one of the Crittur puppies. This is Max. I believe he was originally named Whiskey.
And then it's baby time!
Uggggh, I need to turn off the special event camera, this is a shit shot.
SPEAKING OF SHIT. At least they're not as poor as the Capps, but looks like Tessa's going to have to hit Desdemona up for childcare tips after all.
Or maybe not. Baby 1 wound up floating some distance away and when Lisa span to give birth to Baby 2, Baby 1 vanished and couldn't be found anywhere. I saved and reloaded the lot, hoping she'd turn up, but alas, no. In the end, I did some Googling and found someone else who had the same problem and it was solved by moving the family out and back in again.
Don't give me that face, you two. You're the ones who got yourselves knocked up.
And yay, success! They've lost all their furniture, but they've got all four babies, whose names I can't remember right now. There's two girls and two boys.
As it was the weekend, Tessa decided to invite Riordan over and persuaded him to bring his siblings with him.
I just took this picture to show that the kitchen is so messy, Lisa and Tessa have started eating in the dining room instead.
Before too long, it's birthday time! Here's Erica, the one who glitched and vanished. I'm glad we got her back, she's adorable.
This one is Alyson
I believe this one is Jacob.
A break for huggles...
And this one's Terence.
So, four toddlers is a lot of work and unlike the Capps, there's aren't any teenagers to help out.
So I hired a nanny. This may not be one of my better decisions.
Especially when I hear weeping and wailing for hours and eventually find one trapped behind the stairs.
Not that it stops Checo and Lisa trying (and thankfully, failing) to make more.
And then just because, I switched to the Cordial household. Turns out the hair I chose for Kimberly isn't enabled for skin, so despite the fact that she's not actually an evil witch right now, she winds up looking an awful lot like an extra from Roald Dahl's The Witches.
So I exited the game and fixed her hair, and forgot to load FRAPs, so I missed the next bit of gameplay. After a little cursing, I decided to follow raemia's example and illustrate the missing parts. Thankfully there wasn't much:
Samantha and Kimberly both invited their witchy friends over because I was hoping they'd roll some witch wants.
Alas, they didn't. And I forgot the two witches were MORTAL ENEMIES and the moment I turned my back, they started fighting.
And then the twins got invited Downtown by Armand DeBateau... who promptly shagged Kimberly in the photobooth while Tara looked on in horror.
Tara: Ew.
Kimberly: Who needs witches when you have a magic wand like that?
Yeah, I'm with Tara here: Ew.
Samantha: Magic wand, hmm? I wouldn't mind giving that a try.
What? Samantha, no. Bad idea.
Go make friends with your Pleasantview copy instead.
I should send you two downtown with Lisa and Checo some day.
Kimberly: Urp. I think I ate something funny.
I could make a crude joke, but I won't.
Ugh.
Still, at least her day's going better than Kimberly, who looks like she might actually die on the first day of her dream job.
Oh thank God for-
Aw hell no! That's bullshit!
Kimberly: *sadface*
You want me to rage-quit, honey? I'll do it.
Kimberly: Yes please.
And so I did. I'd saved in the middle of the night, so this time round, there was just about enough time for Kimberly to have breakfast before work.
Which she promptly threw back up. Thanks, Kim!
Seconds stayed down.
Somebody brought Benjamin Baldwin home from work, so I let Kimberley talk his ear off all evening while Samantha hogged the phone. She wants 20 BFFs, so her evenings involve a lot of talking.
Samantha: -and then he told me Pluto wasn't a planet, can you believe that? It'll always be a planet in my heart. Not literally, of course...
While Kimberly's evening involves pops.
And apparently nothing at all interesting happened the following day because this was the next picture I took.
So I decided to liven things up a bit and sent Samantha out on the town to find some more friends.
Samantha: Will you be my friend?
Bartender: No, but my acquaintances Jack Daniels and Jim Beam will be happy to oblige. For a small fee.
She had a chat with Gilbert Jacques.
And then tried to nap on a bench just as another bunch of people showed up.
Samantha: Don't you have like, twenty kids? How'd you break out?
The Other Samantha: It's five children, one of which is at college. There's bigger families than mine.
Speaking of bigger families (one day I will sit down and memorise how they're all related), I've gotta change PT's clothes.
I've also got put everyone in Amber's friendzone. You can't have her, Guy!
At least I fixed Alexandra's coat.
Now I just have to fix my witch overlays. D:
Evil: It's not easy being green.
It's really not
Samantha: And that's why recycling-
Trisha: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, WHO GIVES A SHIT.
As revenge, Samantha sent Trisha out to play with Trisha.
For what it's worth, Kimberly did look genuinely shocked by how hard she'd thrown the ball.
Kimberly: I'm sorry! The baby kicked and I lost control!
In fact, the baby kicked so hard, he triggered labour and Kimberly started giving birth.
And thank goodness, it's a single birth after all those quads. A boy named Adam. Congratulations, Armand, you got your heir. Not that it matters that much, it's 2014 and Tara's still going to walk off with everything.
Oh, I'd build the twins a basement in case they did decide to become witches, but as that want still hasn't arisen, I decided to let Samantha put a model railway down there because she's got a tinkering hobby.
Samantha: And here comes the 15:47 from Paddington to Swansea, choo choo!
Kimberly's first day back at work and she loses her job AGAIN. She has the worst luck at jobs, I swear. Aren't the rigged chance cards supposed to be on the Pleasant household? I'm sorry to admit that I rage-quit again. It won't happen again, pinkie promise.
But at least the second try went better.
Oh, here's Adam, by the way. I don't know why he's wearing a nappy instead of my pretty defaults, but never mind.
It's not like his mother cares, anyway. She's busy watching sports on the telly. Sports that appear to involve upturned bins.
Kimberly: YEAH! WOO! KICK THAT BIN! GIVE THAT FUCKER ROACH FLU!
Samantha's friendship with Carlos Contender had started to decay, so I had her invite him over for a while.
Samantha: While you're here, would you mind pulling up a few weeds for me while I go run an errand?
And then she immediately ditched him so she could go out and buy a mobile phone.
At least she kept her job this time.
Dinner with friends.
I had to move Adam's changing table because nobody could use it when it was in the corner and the nanny wasn't smart enough to just throw the damn thing on the floor. He went all floaty and I was terrified I was about to have another vanishing baby, but thankfully that didn't happen.
EXCUSE ME, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
Nanny: I'm not paid enough to deal with floating babies.
You may have noticed Kimberly had a locked party want, so I interpreted that as a desire to throw Adam a birthday party and invited his babydaddy to come and meet him.
Kimberly: Armand! Darling! You won't believe what happened to me this week oh and by the way, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Thanks for the noodles, Tudor deliverywoman!
I pulled out the costume trunk but forgot I'd yanked several outfits when looking for crashy CC, so the animal theme didn't quite go to plan.
On the bright side, it meant Kimberly didn't have to wear a giant gorilla outfit.
Kimberly: Happy birthday son.
Aww, he's cute. Apart from that pink tux. I tend to steer clear of default replacement clothes, but I'm seriously considering it for that horrid thing.
But thanks to the special event camera (which I MUST remember to turn off!) I missed the moment Samantha tried to snog her sister's babydaddy! You're supposed to be the good twin, Sam!
Armand: No thanks, I don't want any.
Samantha: How about now?
Armand: Still no.
Samantha: :(
Anyway, here's a madeover Adam boogieing along to the stereo.
And then suddenly the score tanked at the last second. I blame Samantha. You hear that Sam? Your libido ruined your nephew's birthday party!
Not that he particularly cares.
Adam: :D
How is your OTH not music and dance? How?
Kimerley was at work, so Samantha generously took over potty training.
And then she went back to her trains. I'm jealous. I'd love a train set like that, but I don't have the space.
Carlos came over again.
Adam: Gonna see if I can make it to Pleasantview while her back's turned.
Smart milk.
Trent Traveller came walking by so I had Samantha greet him.
Samantha: Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?
Trent: Because I'm a douchebag.
Samanthat: Fair enough.
Radioactive skilling.
And then a stray kitten walked past and Adam lunged for it.
Adam: Nice kitty.
Moonshine: I hate you.
There seems to be an awful lot of Adam spam here, sorry not sorry.
Perhaps she'll stop trying to make out with him now.
Kimberley: I heard you like potty training faces.
Not ones like that!
Much better.
And we end with Adam learning to poop in a pot.
Uberhood Index
First, to the Ramirez household, where Checo and Lisa approve of their makeovers.
Checo: Nice undies.
Lisa: Thanks!
Stephen Tinker walks by and when I send Checo out to greet him, I get my first look at Bluewater's wonky terrain. Wow. That's some road. (Go home, road. You're drunk.)
Neither Lisa or Checo's dream jobs show up that day, so I let them muck about on the piano until Tessa comes home from school.
Tessa; What on Earth is that awful racket?
Lisa: I think it might be Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but to be honest, it could be anything.
And as soon as Tessa's makeover's done, before she can even change back into her everyday clothes, it's down to homework.
I guess Checo and Lisa felt like joining in the underwear party.
Checo: Did she say 'party in our pants?'
Lisa: There's already one in mine.
Devin Patel opted to keep his clothes on.
That evening, Checo was invited Downtown by Consort Capp. He took the whole family - as did Consort, by the look of things.
Tessa: So what's it like being a teen?
Desdemona: It seems to involve an extraordinary amount of childcare.
Lisa: Quads, huh? That sounds rough.
Goneril: I haven't slept in three days and my hair is full of baby vomit.
Checo: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA-
Consort: You know the words are on the screen, right?
Checo: It's "Hey Jude." Those are the words.
Bored?
Lisa: Meh.
Checo: Zzzz.
You two are rubbish company. I'm not inviting you out again.
I mean, look at Tessa, she knows how to have fun.
Tybalt: Wheeee, I can fly!
Desdemona: I think my wings are broken.
The next morning, I sent Checo out to check the paper, only for Malcolm to snatch it out of his hands.
Malcolm: Today, the paper, tomorrow, the world!
Fuck you, Malcolm, they needed those jobs! (It will be some time before I remember they already own a computer.)
Especially as their business has borked and they don't seem to own it any more.
Happily after I sold it and brought it back again, it all worked. They even kept the furniture until Dina brought it. Sadly they only really made enough money to cover bills, so placing a ceiling will have to wait.
Lisa brought Gabe O'Mackey home from work and looks very pleased about it.
Lisa: Friendmaking! :D :D :D
Checo stole him for sports.
While they had guests, Tessa decided she'd like to contribute towards the household funds and sell them lemonade. Wanda Tinker was the first to purchase a cup.
Wanda: Thanks, kid. I'm dying of thirst after trekking up that wonky hill in these heels.
Then Riordan Summerdream and Malcolm tried some too. (Maybe Malcolm feels bad about the newspaper theft?)
And then!
Lisa: We got rid of Tessa's old baby toys, do you know a good place we can get some new ones?
Yeah, Tessa's not sharing her toys.
Tessa: Mine.
Some mother-daughter bonding over video games.
Checo went back to the store the next day and Miranda Capp threw her bags on the floor in a fit of temper.
Miranda: I don't have time for this shit, there's four babies full of it at home.
Go Tessa!
Tessa: But I was so awesome at school today, why do I have to do homework?
To keep the Social Worker away.
I don't know who Checo's talking to here, but it looks like a very intense conversation.
Checo: MAGENTA IS PINK.
Just a family dinner because I'm a sucker for them.
Apparently I'm also a sucker for mother-daughter video game bonding.
Despite the fact that Lisa's due to pop any second, I gave in to Tessa's puppy want and she adopted one of the Crittur puppies. This is Max. I believe he was originally named Whiskey.
And then it's baby time!
Uggggh, I need to turn off the special event camera, this is a shit shot.
SPEAKING OF SHIT. At least they're not as poor as the Capps, but looks like Tessa's going to have to hit Desdemona up for childcare tips after all.
Or maybe not. Baby 1 wound up floating some distance away and when Lisa span to give birth to Baby 2, Baby 1 vanished and couldn't be found anywhere. I saved and reloaded the lot, hoping she'd turn up, but alas, no. In the end, I did some Googling and found someone else who had the same problem and it was solved by moving the family out and back in again.
Don't give me that face, you two. You're the ones who got yourselves knocked up.
And yay, success! They've lost all their furniture, but they've got all four babies, whose names I can't remember right now. There's two girls and two boys.
As it was the weekend, Tessa decided to invite Riordan over and persuaded him to bring his siblings with him.
I just took this picture to show that the kitchen is so messy, Lisa and Tessa have started eating in the dining room instead.
Before too long, it's birthday time! Here's Erica, the one who glitched and vanished. I'm glad we got her back, she's adorable.
This one is Alyson
I believe this one is Jacob.
A break for huggles...
And this one's Terence.
So, four toddlers is a lot of work and unlike the Capps, there's aren't any teenagers to help out.
So I hired a nanny. This may not be one of my better decisions.
Especially when I hear weeping and wailing for hours and eventually find one trapped behind the stairs.
Not that it stops Checo and Lisa trying (and thankfully, failing) to make more.
And then just because, I switched to the Cordial household. Turns out the hair I chose for Kimberly isn't enabled for skin, so despite the fact that she's not actually an evil witch right now, she winds up looking an awful lot like an extra from Roald Dahl's The Witches.
So I exited the game and fixed her hair, and forgot to load FRAPs, so I missed the next bit of gameplay. After a little cursing, I decided to follow raemia's example and illustrate the missing parts. Thankfully there wasn't much:
Samantha and Kimberly both invited their witchy friends over because I was hoping they'd roll some witch wants.
Alas, they didn't. And I forgot the two witches were MORTAL ENEMIES and the moment I turned my back, they started fighting.
And then the twins got invited Downtown by Armand DeBateau... who promptly shagged Kimberly in the photobooth while Tara looked on in horror.
Tara: Ew.
Kimberly: Who needs witches when you have a magic wand like that?
Yeah, I'm with Tara here: Ew.
Samantha: Magic wand, hmm? I wouldn't mind giving that a try.
What? Samantha, no. Bad idea.
Go make friends with your Pleasantview copy instead.
I should send you two downtown with Lisa and Checo some day.
Kimberly: Urp. I think I ate something funny.
I could make a crude joke, but I won't.
Ugh.
Still, at least her day's going better than Kimberly, who looks like she might actually die on the first day of her dream job.
Oh thank God for-
Aw hell no! That's bullshit!
Kimberly: *sadface*
You want me to rage-quit, honey? I'll do it.
Kimberly: Yes please.
And so I did. I'd saved in the middle of the night, so this time round, there was just about enough time for Kimberly to have breakfast before work.
Which she promptly threw back up. Thanks, Kim!
Seconds stayed down.
Somebody brought Benjamin Baldwin home from work, so I let Kimberley talk his ear off all evening while Samantha hogged the phone. She wants 20 BFFs, so her evenings involve a lot of talking.
Samantha: -and then he told me Pluto wasn't a planet, can you believe that? It'll always be a planet in my heart. Not literally, of course...
While Kimberly's evening involves pops.
And apparently nothing at all interesting happened the following day because this was the next picture I took.
So I decided to liven things up a bit and sent Samantha out on the town to find some more friends.
Samantha: Will you be my friend?
Bartender: No, but my acquaintances Jack Daniels and Jim Beam will be happy to oblige. For a small fee.
She had a chat with Gilbert Jacques.
And then tried to nap on a bench just as another bunch of people showed up.
Samantha: Don't you have like, twenty kids? How'd you break out?
The Other Samantha: It's five children, one of which is at college. There's bigger families than mine.
Speaking of bigger families (one day I will sit down and memorise how they're all related), I've gotta change PT's clothes.
I've also got put everyone in Amber's friendzone. You can't have her, Guy!
At least I fixed Alexandra's coat.
Now I just have to fix my witch overlays. D:
Evil: It's not easy being green.
It's really not
Samantha: And that's why recycling-
Trisha: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, WHO GIVES A SHIT.
As revenge, Samantha sent Trisha out to play with Trisha.
For what it's worth, Kimberly did look genuinely shocked by how hard she'd thrown the ball.
Kimberly: I'm sorry! The baby kicked and I lost control!
In fact, the baby kicked so hard, he triggered labour and Kimberly started giving birth.
And thank goodness, it's a single birth after all those quads. A boy named Adam. Congratulations, Armand, you got your heir. Not that it matters that much, it's 2014 and Tara's still going to walk off with everything.
Oh, I'd build the twins a basement in case they did decide to become witches, but as that want still hasn't arisen, I decided to let Samantha put a model railway down there because she's got a tinkering hobby.
Samantha: And here comes the 15:47 from Paddington to Swansea, choo choo!
Kimberly's first day back at work and she loses her job AGAIN. She has the worst luck at jobs, I swear. Aren't the rigged chance cards supposed to be on the Pleasant household? I'm sorry to admit that I rage-quit again. It won't happen again, pinkie promise.
But at least the second try went better.
Oh, here's Adam, by the way. I don't know why he's wearing a nappy instead of my pretty defaults, but never mind.
It's not like his mother cares, anyway. She's busy watching sports on the telly. Sports that appear to involve upturned bins.
Kimberly: YEAH! WOO! KICK THAT BIN! GIVE THAT FUCKER ROACH FLU!
Samantha's friendship with Carlos Contender had started to decay, so I had her invite him over for a while.
Samantha: While you're here, would you mind pulling up a few weeds for me while I go run an errand?
And then she immediately ditched him so she could go out and buy a mobile phone.
At least she kept her job this time.
Dinner with friends.
I had to move Adam's changing table because nobody could use it when it was in the corner and the nanny wasn't smart enough to just throw the damn thing on the floor. He went all floaty and I was terrified I was about to have another vanishing baby, but thankfully that didn't happen.
EXCUSE ME, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
Nanny: I'm not paid enough to deal with floating babies.
You may have noticed Kimberly had a locked party want, so I interpreted that as a desire to throw Adam a birthday party and invited his babydaddy to come and meet him.
Kimberly: Armand! Darling! You won't believe what happened to me this week oh and by the way, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Thanks for the noodles, Tudor deliverywoman!
I pulled out the costume trunk but forgot I'd yanked several outfits when looking for crashy CC, so the animal theme didn't quite go to plan.
On the bright side, it meant Kimberly didn't have to wear a giant gorilla outfit.
Kimberly: Happy birthday son.
Aww, he's cute. Apart from that pink tux. I tend to steer clear of default replacement clothes, but I'm seriously considering it for that horrid thing.
But thanks to the special event camera (which I MUST remember to turn off!) I missed the moment Samantha tried to snog her sister's babydaddy! You're supposed to be the good twin, Sam!
Armand: No thanks, I don't want any.
Samantha: How about now?
Armand: Still no.
Samantha: :(
Anyway, here's a madeover Adam boogieing along to the stereo.
And then suddenly the score tanked at the last second. I blame Samantha. You hear that Sam? Your libido ruined your nephew's birthday party!
Not that he particularly cares.
Adam: :D
How is your OTH not music and dance? How?
Kimerley was at work, so Samantha generously took over potty training.
And then she went back to her trains. I'm jealous. I'd love a train set like that, but I don't have the space.
Carlos came over again.
Adam: Gonna see if I can make it to Pleasantview while her back's turned.
Smart milk.
Trent Traveller came walking by so I had Samantha greet him.
Samantha: Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?
Trent: Because I'm a douchebag.
Samanthat: Fair enough.
Radioactive skilling.
And then a stray kitten walked past and Adam lunged for it.
Adam: Nice kitty.
Moonshine: I hate you.
There seems to be an awful lot of Adam spam here, sorry not sorry.
Perhaps she'll stop trying to make out with him now.
Kimberley: I heard you like potty training faces.
Not ones like that!
Much better.
And we end with Adam learning to poop in a pot.
Uberhood Index