Global Legacy 2.3
Welcome back to the Global Legacy. Last time, there was a new craze plaguing the hood. Your games may be full of smustles and sea chantys and school cheers, but in my game, it's all about the slap dance. No, not the Three Lakes one. Also Grina and Cheese grew up, the family took a holiday to Twikki Island and China got knocked up again. Also the house got infested with elephants.
China: Look honey, I'm pregnant!
Greece: That's nice dear. Oooh, coupons!
Ah, those might come in useful because this week's challenge is to dine out at least once a day and not pay. I figure if I get sick of trying to dine and dash, coupons can count as not paying.
But before lunch, I make China and Greece work at the store for a while. Greece tends to harass people into buying stuff, while China goes for the more subtle method of voodoo trickery.
Whatever they're doing, it's working! Lookit that gold bag there! That there is the first piece of expensive shit sold! Hurrah!
And while we're on the topic of win, here's Grina celebrating an A+.
China: To us!
Greece: Us! Now please excuse me for a second, there's something I have to do.
Finland: Oops, busted.
Greece: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL.
China: I just screwed my husband in a photobooth, yippee!
Greece: Yeah! How d'you like THAT, eh, Finland?
It's kind of sad just how oblivious she is.
On the other hand GO GO DREAM DATE 34.
Time to work on the first free meal. Doing good!
AWW NO.
Greece: WHAAAAAAT? I thought she couldn't get me if I hid in the men's room, that's so unfair!
Back home, the children enjoy a quick game of Don't Wake The Llama before bedtime.
Whoa, hey, stop that, that's for dead people! You have a perfectly good bed!
Greece: Stop!
HAMMER TIME!
Greece: No, really! Something weird's happening to me!
Good gracious man, your outfit.
So now Greece is an old man. Aww. I really need to hurry up and get him those last 16 dream dates.
Hey kids, your dad just got old. Don't you care?
Grina: YOU CHEATED.
Cheece: I'm just a natural at this game.
I've decided that the best way to get those last few dates is to try and get a wishing well. Wishing wells are super-duper handy and our garden is pretty sweet.
Or at least it was before SOME SODDING STRAY decided to waltz along and roll all over the flowers.
Wait, it's bug-free, well watered and well-groomed but you think it's pathetic just because it's a little sickly? Jeez, these guys are picky.
At least they liked the elephants more than I did.
Success!
Greece: Let's celebrate!
Grina: Mum, Dad, I got another A+!
China: Oooh baby, like a long term savings account, you just get better with age!
Grina: I'll come back later, shall I?
With China at home, I dare not let Greece wish for love, so China gets the first wish.
China: I wish for sacks of cold, hard cash.
And then Grina grew up when I wasn't looking.
HOW.
A little hanky-panky with the wife gets Greece his 35th Dream Date.
Now Grina's a teen, her One True Love is the telescope.
Grina: I wonder what the neighbours look like naked?
Ask your dad, I'll bet he knows.
She's also big enough now to help counterfeit cash.
Grina: Gonna bake me some college funds, mwahaha!
New day, so time for another meal out, complete with inappropriate conversation.
Greece: I'm just saying, I really like your bust.
Aww nutsacks.
Hostess: RABBLE RABBLE HOW VERY DARE YOU ET CETERA ET CETERA.
Happily China didn't mind. 36!
The dream date motive boost gave them enough energy for a second go, which as you can see, pissed off Kiki Bird.
Kiki Bird: It's not like it's my fucking job or anything! I'LL JUST STARVE, SHALL I?
Forget Kiki Bird! Who needs her when you can dream date your wife for free!? 37!
Grina: Well I sure as hell don't need her. Like I'm gonna have trouble finding someone who wants this fine piece of ass.
Greece may not have that much trouble finding dates either, but I'm curious to find out who the well can dredge up for him.
And it's Prussia who's going to be an easy lay today.
38/50 GOD BLESS THE WISHING WELL.
To make up for all the cheating, I made Greece work at the park until he could dazzle customers into handing over their money in exchange for the bingo machine.
Greece: Other boring bingo games may just be for little old ladies, but not here! We've got STRIP BINGO!
Hungary: I want in!
Is strip bingo even a thing? How does it work?
Greece: It's like strip poker, but with more balls.
Ugh, I walked right into that one.
Back home, China goes into labour.
China: Yay, another baby!
Oh please, you don't care about having babies at all. I don't know why you keep having them. On the bright side, at least she doesn't fear having them. Anyway, meet Athens, a little girl with Greece's eyes and hair.
Grina brought home this girl who looks an awful lot like the girl who was in the hot springs at Takemizu Village.
Greece: Um, my well's on fire.
Oh. OH! OH NO OH SHIT THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.
JESUS CHRIST WHAT TWISTED MIND CAME UP WITH THIS HORROR MOVIE BOLLOCKS!?
Mrs C: YOU WANT ROMANCE? KISS MY PURSE!
Greece: Ow! Ow! I'm an old man! Why would you do this to me!?
Mrs C: Because you're a HARLOT.
Greece: I met someone new! +1000 This is a great time to talk about what a wonderful week I'm having!
Cheece: Hey sis, will you play with me?
Grina: Nope. Busy.
Cheece: OK, no problem.
Cheece: I lied! I'm so bored and miserable right now, wah!
Today in Things I Never Knew About This Game - two sims can talk about science when one of them's using the telescope.
Thanks, Grina!
And we sure could do with the cash because Greece stinks at skipping out on bills.
Greece: I only stood up to use the bathroom, honest.
Hostess: Please. I work at every restaurant in town. You'll never get away with it.
Greece: WHY CAN'T YOU DO THE HARLEM SHAKE INSTEAD!?
America: Because FUCK YOU.
Greece: Hey, would you mind corrupting your entire installation files for me? Please?
Lolno.
Dinner's on Grina again.
And Fine China reaches rank ten! Yay! China is now 1/5th of the way towards her LTW.
China: Dear wishing well. Please give me more cash for more businesses.
You know I could just let Fine China drop a star and then gain it back, right?
China: Shut up.
China: I love this well.
I'll remember that.
Greece: But you love me more, right?
China: Eh. I guess so.
Whoa wait up, did I miss a birthday?
Cheece: No. It's my birthday cake from the last update.
Oh ew, nasty. Where are your parents? Why aren't they making you dinner?
China: GERANIMO.
Greece: BANZAII.
Forget I asked.
Greece: Wanna try stealing some food with me?
Spain: Sounds like fun.
This is not fun at all, I hate this challenge. *sob*
Oh well. I can at least try and get a dream date while we're out and about-
Spain: Don't even think about smooching me. I have ~morals~, you know.
You are such a git.
And then to round up the afternoon of complete and total suck, the nanny attacked Greece.
Greece: You call that a punch!? I've fought old ladies who can hit harder than that!
Yeah, until the next time the household needs a babysitter.
Anyway, since she aged up and rolled Family, Grina's been gagging for her first kiss, so I let her have a go with the well.
And this guy, Martin, fell out of the sky to lay one on her.
Grina: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but wanna woohoo in the hot tub?
HEY, STOP THAT.
Grina: Can't hear you over the bubbles!
I made her stop though. At least take him on a date first, Grina.
Sadly poor Martin got hideous sunstroke and had to bail as soon as they reached the lot.
I only realised what the problem was when Grina got it too and had to be ordered to drink three glasses of water.
Grina: This should cool me down too, right?
Oh hey, Seychelles, nice to see you not glitching my lots to bits.
China took the children to the business for a while. Might as well start teaching them the tricks of the trade while they're still young, right? Failing that, there's always cute dancing.
And that evening, it's Athens' birthday.
Cute!
Grina: Wanna dance, little brother?
Cheece: Sure thing, big sister.
Athens: I can't wait until I'm big enough to join in too.
Oh, thanks Spain. You know what would've been better though? You not rejecting all of Greece's romantic advances and tanking the date score.
Athens: This was fun and all, but off. See ya!
/Athens spam.
Greece: I wish for better luck today than yesterday.
Greece: Shit.
Cheece: GO DAD! KNOCK HER BLOCK OFF!
Mrs Crumplebottom: -And I am HIGHLY offended by your state of undress, young man!
/Toddler training spam. For a guy with a terrible work ethic, he's actually a pretty good daddy.
China: Right, think calming thoughts. Money... money... money...money...
Athens: WAAAAAAAH!
Oops. Didn't realise that was an evil clown- wait, what am I saying? All clowns are evil.
Another day, another attempt at skipping on the bills. But today I have a Cunning Plan. Greece has learnt teleportation from China, so I had him teleport to the roof of Bernard's Botanical Dining and meditate. Let's see the hostess get him now.
SUCCESS! At last!
*throws confetti everywhere*
And a quick bonk in the photobooth to celebrate. 39/50
Greece: You sure you won't corrupt your game files for l'il old me? I won't ask for anything else, I promise.
Why don't you go and have sex with your wife in the car instead, hmm?
Greece: Yeehaw!
Lol, borked steamy windows. XD
40/50 ONLY TEN MORE TO GO!
Greece: Let's see if we can get to 41 today.
Can we do it? Yes, we can.
Greece risked the well again and finally lucked out with this cute bartender. :D
Martin came by the house too so Grina happily invited him in.
42/50.
Trying on clothes? Well, I guess there was probably some clothes being removed and put on.
Wait, that's not Greece. Who's in there now?
No, Belarus cannot be outside the photobooth and inside it at once.
Belarus: I can be where the hell I want.
Netherlands: Like "in my pants", right?
Damn, I need to check some townie memories, I think!
Greece: Stealth mode: ACTIVATE.
Aww yiss.
Ugh, Athens. Must you?
And Martin, that's not really an appropriate conversation to have around a child.
Martin: OK, let's go do something about it.
PARTY TIME.
Hello puberty.
Germany: THEY ALL FELL OVER, HAW HAW THAT WAS BRILLIANT!
What are you doing here? Don't you have a home to go to?
Germany: I'm a townie. So no. :(
More businessing. Shut up, Semagic, that's totally a real word.
I gave Cheece a makeover. I think he looks more grownup now.
Huh? He wasn't permaplat anyway!
*checks date counter*
And even if he was, being beaten up by Crumplebottom hardly counts as a tragedy.
Shut up.
I GET THE MESSAGE ALREADY.
Why is Cheece refusing to school, I hear you ask?
Because Greece and China are returning to Takemizu to try and get her the rest of the memories, that's why. This time they're staying in these cute little cottages.
Unsurprisingly, this is the first thing they do.
43/50! I may actually finish this LTW by the end of the update!
44/50.
They do finally stop screwing long enough for Greece to have a cup of tea.
Is it the secret of where I hid my chocolate? Because I forgot where and I really fancy it right about now.
China: I think I prefer when people bow to me, not the other way around.
I admit I took control of the girl because NOBODY would autonomously do Tai Chi, but finally China leaned it.
Greece, what are you doing? You're supposed to be on a date.
Greece: I just suddenly REALLY REALLY wanted a dream date, to be best friends with a couple of people and to learn a skill.
Stupid wants or not, dream date was had. 45/50.
Somewhere along the line I miscounted, because suddenly we're at 50/50 dream dates. Sing it with me!
HALLELUJAH.
I am never attempting this LTW ever again. I AM SO BORED OF DATES.
Greece: I'm not! Can I have another?
NO.
So the last day of the vacation is spent chillaxing in the hot springs before it's time to go home.
Where the wishing well still hates Greece.
Greece: Ow.
RED ALERT RED ALERT ATHENS HAS BEEN SQUISHED BY A TOY BOX.
China rescues her and brings her to the birthday cake.
Oh my gosh, she is so adorable!
And she aged up at just the right time for the next challenge. BRING IT ON! See you then!
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