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randomseoul

(Untitled)

Nov 14, 2008 12:37

Title: Empty promises

Pairing: Jaejoong/Yoochun

Genre: Angst

Warning: Character death. (I can’t help it! I love killing off people.)

Word count: 2,222

Summary: AU. Jaejoong makes promises he can’t keep.

A/N: The opening line started it all. Well, not really, because I thought of the title first before I came up with the idea that this should be JaeChun ( Read more... )

p: jaejoong/yoochun, fic

Comments 2

cruel_disorder November 14 2008, 22:13:45 UTC

Oooh :( I never expected that ending. There's something about your writing - every once in awhile there's a sentence that just slaps the reader in the face, like this one: Sometimes you think that the Jaejoong you knew is still on tour and that the label conned you with an imitation of your friend. Because the one with you surely doesn’t feel like the best friend you’ve known your whole life.I love how there's no happy ending. It's incredibly tragic and I felt for Yoochun having to witness the downward spiral Jaejoong was heading towards. There are about a million things that I can imagine him feeling at the mention of his death. That he actively encouraged Jaejoong towards a self-damaging dream, that he didn't recognize the danger of Jaejoong's destructive behaviour. Something ironic - the last sentence constructs Yoochun as the victim, as the one who suffered from Jaejoong's breaking of his promise. But if Jaejoong promised to always watch his back, shouldn't Yoochun do the same? I totally saw Yoochun blaming himself in the end, ( ... )

randomseoul November 16 2008, 05:33:12 UTC

:)

i guess the ending had something to do with my bias..^^ sorry! i really appreciate the concrits, a lot!! this wasn't really beta-ed and you pointing out such inconsistencies are much appreciated.. (will fix it!)

well yeah, yoochun did love jaejoong a lot..i guess the idea of the last line was yoochun was trying to convince himself that jaejoong's death was for the better, because as much as jaejoong loved him jae did cause him a lot of pain.. it's kinda selfish and some sort of consulation for himself so as not to dwell too much on his death.. i guess i just didn't get that through.. or maybe i'm the only one who understands that kind of logic.. *bricked*

thanks so much for taking the time to read and commenting.. <3