Essay: In Defense of Lily Evans
In Defense of Lily Evans
I've been a Harry Potter fan since 2005 (right before HBP came out), and have been from forums dedicated to all topics of HP discussion to small niche communities dedicated to-my favorite pairing at the time-Harry/Hermione. I've gotten around the fandom a lot over the years, have befriended people from all walks of Potterdom from people who have influenced my love of the Marauder era to OBHWF shippers to Slashers. Of course, I have my preferences: After H/Hr crashed and burned in canon I became more invested in the MWPP era, particularly Snape and Lily. I was already convinced that Snape loved Lily and HBP only deepened my belief in that theory. Along the way I grew to love that pairing (on a more unrequited level) as well as Lily/James (shock and awe, I know). Fast foward to DH: the theory was proved right, with the added perk of Lily and Snape being childhood best friends. This brought an entirely new perspective on how I viewed the pairing, for the better and for the worse.
This essay (if you want to call it that, it really turned out as more of a long rant) is literally over two years or so in the making. After DH, there seemed to be two or more camps when it came to reaction to The Prince's Tale: Of course, there were those fans who were very supportive of the notion that there was a friendship between Lily and Snape, and many who thought Snape's love for Lily diminished his character's motivations. However, above all else, I saw a tremendous backlash from the really hardcore Snape fans (you know the type), even former supporters of the "Snape Loves Lily" theory retaliate against one person in particular: that bitch Lily Evans.
The criticism towards Lily by Snapefen in particular has very seldom been reasonable and usually results in blatant disregard of canon and ridiculous displays of misogyny. The following is really just me venting about the ridiculousness I encounter much too often around fandom. This is of course all my opinion and interpretation of Lily and anyone reading this is free to comment and discuss. Pretend I'm super eloquent.
---
All we need to do is get a few things straight:
1) LILY EVANS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SNAPE'S BAD DECISIONS/LILY REACTION TO THE "MUDBLOOD" COMMENT IS RATIONAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE
I find it absolutely amazing how many people criticize Lily for "not trying hard enough" to keep her relationship with Snape afloat: "Why did she give up on him? Why did she let one word ruin years of friendship?"
What people need to remember is that Lily didn't just break off the relationship because Snape called her a Mudblood. It is clear from the text that not only was their friendship especially rocky at the time, but that the Mudblood incident was simply the last straw. I often wonder if people who simply write off Lily's reaction as an overreaction have ever had the experience or encountered racial slurs. Let's remember: Lily best friend called her a racial slur as she tried to protect him. Look, I get that Snape was angry, embarrassed, and upset, but slurs like that don't just slip that easily. His use of that single word solidified her worries and suspicions of what she feared he was becoming and what sort of influences were creeping into his system. Lily must have not only been angry, but also horrified. In fact, I'd criticize Lily if she didn't respond the way she did or if she accepted his apology right off. I know that if any best friend of mine called me a racial slur, regardless of how long we've been friends or how much they taught me, our friendship would never be the same again; it would never return to normalcy. Add that perspective to a friendship that was already, slowly crumbling and you've got the perfect recipe for the justification for the end of a friendship. We learned a lot of plot points from Snape's Worse Memory but we also learned a lot about Lily, including the fact that she is far from a doormat.
Snape was simply in too deep and that was hardly Lily's fault. If any of you know how hard it is to maintain a healthy friendship with someone who has a group of friends who are a terrible influence, has an addiction, or anything of the sort, you understand that it's definitely not as easy as clinging on to someone for dear life to cure them, or help them see reason. Snape loved Lily, but he also loved dark arts and justified the unsavory actions of his "friends". In The Prince's Tale, when Snape is trying to apologize and Lily accuses him and his mates of wanting to be Death Eaters he doesn't deny it. He is silent. If we've learned anything in this series, especially when it comes to Snape, it is that silence can be so damn important. So why do people insist that Lily didn't give him a chance? She gave him a chance outside the portrait hole and he ruined it. She gave him more than enough chances in the past, and she finally had it. How much could Lily do besides try to remain friends for as long as she could before everything just snapped?
Time and time again I've seen people argue that Lily didn't do enough to help Snape. But why isn't anyone asking why Snape didn't do enough to help HER. Look, I'm not here to diminish the Marauders' behavior towards Snape: I may be fans of them but I'm not deluded enough not to realize that they were horribly awful bullies to him. Nevertheless, I can't help but look at everything in the grand scheme of things. War is raging, people of Lily's blood/heritage are being killed and attacked due to psuedo-political borderline genocidal ideology, and yet...we're asking why Lily didn't help Snape enough? In many ways, Lily was MUCH more vulnerable.
Reality check: who was in more danger here? Snape by a bunch of--for lack of a better word--douche bag sixteen year olds; or Lily by a political movement aimed at dehumanizing and devaluing her as a human being? Sorry, I realize that Snape was unfairly treated, but I'm going to go for the latter. I'd also argue that Snape should have been more considerate as well, not just Lily. He likely had a better idea just how much danger Lily would be in more than she did.
2) SO, WHY DO WE LIKE MAKING SNAPE LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS?
As a fan of Snape this amuses me and pisses me off at the same time. We all know Snape made some really stupid decisions. Especially the whole, you know, Death Eater thing. But why do people, mainly the ones who are constantly singing praises of his epic brilliance, think he's too dense to know that Lily wanted him to choose between her and an awful path of sketchy future Death Eaters? Snape may have made some really dumb choices in life, but I'd hesitate to assume he's THAT dense not to realize that his friendship with lily was at stake, especially after the Mudblood incident. Therefore, when I see people arguing that Lily wasn't clear enough...HOW MUCH CLEARER CAN SHE GET?
3) DISLIKE LILY ALL YOU WANT, BUT WHY JUSTIFY YOUR DISLIKE OF HER CHARACTER WITH MISOGYNY
Of course, I think JKR could have afforded to show one more scene of Lily and James content with each other, especially since I'm a fan of the pairing. However, I'm going to have to take what we're told in the text (and aren't shown anything that directly contradicts it) as truth: James, like most people who don't stay sixteen forever, grew up and wasn't as much of an arrogant toerag. I trust Lily's judgment not to marry and have a child at the age of twenty with someone who never changed from the immature boy we saw her so irate with during SWM. JKR has even implied that Lily may have harbored feelings for James during/prior to Snape's Worst Memory. Maybe she did, deep down, but if that's true it's obvious that she knew she couldn't have much to do with the ass who was cursing her best friend for show. Also, how she, as some have claimed, was blatantly flirting with James during SWM I'll never know. It's one thing for her to somehow harbor feelings for him in the scene, but I don't know if I'd call anyone screaming, "YOU MAKE ME SICK" flirting.
Regardless, the fact that Lily fell in love with and married James also means the following:
Lily isn't a slut. Lily isn't a gold digging whore. Lily isn't married to James to show Snape a lesson. And most of all, there is no, ZERO proof, that Lily is abused by James simply because he was an asshole to Snape when he was a teenager. What I find so disturbing is that many people have these vivid fantasies of Lily being abused by James as if to prove a point of how stupid Lily is for deciding to be with James, or find some sort of satisfaction that Lily got what she asked for for "dumping" Snape. I've even read the following statement some time ago (yes this is a direct quote): "We also know why Lily, for such a 'brave Gryffindor', ended up huddling pathetically, pleading for her child's life without so much as trying to accio her wand; abused women will cower, not fight." Disregarding the fact that Lily can't accio her wand unless she did so wandlessly, where does this sort of mindset stem from? So now she's pathetic? Hell, if I were Lily I would have peed in my pants ten times already. She already wins.
Lily didn't "ditch Snape" because of some popularity contest. The Marauder Era was not a 90s Romantic Comedy. If she was really the cold hearted bitch so many people in fandom love to make her out to be, she would have kicked him to the curb years ago. I doubt she would have waited until the end of 5th year when he finally went too far. She "ditched" him because of his appalling behavior, period. Hell, Lily can't make a decision without being criticized for it. Breaks up with Snape? She's a skank who was more concerned about popularity than her friendship with an unpopular boy. Married? Oh you know how those Evans sisters are, only think about money, social climbing, and keeping up with appearances (which I also find so perplexing, since Lily is pretty dissimilar to her sister. This was established for a reason, so I'd assume that if Petunia was obsessed with social climbing and keeping up with appearances, Lily probably wouldn't). Misogyny is a problem in fandom in general, so I won't get too deep into this, but it is certainly something to pay attention to. If some folks in fandom can't be critical about Lily's character without reducing her to a young woman who was more concerned about status and looking good on James Potter's arm we have a long way, as a majority female community, to go.
4) IN CONCLUSION:
I don't think Lily is perfect. I'm a fan of Lily and often come to her defense, but I'm not blind enough to believe she was flawless. One can argue that she may have been judgmental, naive, even brash and quick to retaliate against something she finds disagreeable. There is one thing, I'll admit, that I don't know if I have a very good explanation for: that brief hint of a smile she had when Snape was hung upside down during SWM. Honestly, I always thought it was an involuntary reaction to seeing her best friend nearly starkers but that's just me.
Nevertheless, I hardly think that that's enough to deem her bitch of the century and scarlet whore extraordinare who didn't try hard enough to "save" Snape. How some find no fault in going out of their way to blame Lily for Snape' mistakes is beyond me. I put more responsibility on Snape for his dumb decisions because that's part of his character. Disregarding his fatal flaws, whitewashing him, and blaming Lily, the Marauders, his father, the pope, etc for his poor decisions is a tremendous disservice to his character.
I'd love to know more about Lily, but for now I can only work with everything we've got in canon. Lily was a brave, strong willed woman and I appreciate that aspect of her personality, despite only seeing very little of it throughout the series. Unfortunately, women of that nature often a threat to members of fandom, especially, in this case, if she didn't kiss the ground Snape walked on. Everybody's interpretation of how Lily would have acted when she was alive is different but despite disagreements we may have I'd rather they be based on what we see in canon, not what we make up.
--
Comments are welcome! And feel free to pimp!
ETA: Also, I'd like to add that the way many have such lofty expectations for Lily to have acted in her relationship with Snape while completely disregarding Snape's behavior is certainly something of note and discussion.
ETA 2: A Brief Follow Up
I've been a Harry Potter fan since 2005 (right before HBP came out), and have been from forums dedicated to all topics of HP discussion to small niche communities dedicated to-my favorite pairing at the time-Harry/Hermione. I've gotten around the fandom a lot over the years, have befriended people from all walks of Potterdom from people who have influenced my love of the Marauder era to OBHWF shippers to Slashers. Of course, I have my preferences: After H/Hr crashed and burned in canon I became more invested in the MWPP era, particularly Snape and Lily. I was already convinced that Snape loved Lily and HBP only deepened my belief in that theory. Along the way I grew to love that pairing (on a more unrequited level) as well as Lily/James (shock and awe, I know). Fast foward to DH: the theory was proved right, with the added perk of Lily and Snape being childhood best friends. This brought an entirely new perspective on how I viewed the pairing, for the better and for the worse.
This essay (if you want to call it that, it really turned out as more of a long rant) is literally over two years or so in the making. After DH, there seemed to be two or more camps when it came to reaction to The Prince's Tale: Of course, there were those fans who were very supportive of the notion that there was a friendship between Lily and Snape, and many who thought Snape's love for Lily diminished his character's motivations. However, above all else, I saw a tremendous backlash from the really hardcore Snape fans (you know the type), even former supporters of the "Snape Loves Lily" theory retaliate against one person in particular: that bitch Lily Evans.
The criticism towards Lily by Snapefen in particular has very seldom been reasonable and usually results in blatant disregard of canon and ridiculous displays of misogyny. The following is really just me venting about the ridiculousness I encounter much too often around fandom. This is of course all my opinion and interpretation of Lily and anyone reading this is free to comment and discuss. Pretend I'm super eloquent.
---
All we need to do is get a few things straight:
1) LILY EVANS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SNAPE'S BAD DECISIONS/LILY REACTION TO THE "MUDBLOOD" COMMENT IS RATIONAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE
I find it absolutely amazing how many people criticize Lily for "not trying hard enough" to keep her relationship with Snape afloat: "Why did she give up on him? Why did she let one word ruin years of friendship?"
What people need to remember is that Lily didn't just break off the relationship because Snape called her a Mudblood. It is clear from the text that not only was their friendship especially rocky at the time, but that the Mudblood incident was simply the last straw. I often wonder if people who simply write off Lily's reaction as an overreaction have ever had the experience or encountered racial slurs. Let's remember: Lily best friend called her a racial slur as she tried to protect him. Look, I get that Snape was angry, embarrassed, and upset, but slurs like that don't just slip that easily. His use of that single word solidified her worries and suspicions of what she feared he was becoming and what sort of influences were creeping into his system. Lily must have not only been angry, but also horrified. In fact, I'd criticize Lily if she didn't respond the way she did or if she accepted his apology right off. I know that if any best friend of mine called me a racial slur, regardless of how long we've been friends or how much they taught me, our friendship would never be the same again; it would never return to normalcy. Add that perspective to a friendship that was already, slowly crumbling and you've got the perfect recipe for the justification for the end of a friendship. We learned a lot of plot points from Snape's Worse Memory but we also learned a lot about Lily, including the fact that she is far from a doormat.
Snape was simply in too deep and that was hardly Lily's fault. If any of you know how hard it is to maintain a healthy friendship with someone who has a group of friends who are a terrible influence, has an addiction, or anything of the sort, you understand that it's definitely not as easy as clinging on to someone for dear life to cure them, or help them see reason. Snape loved Lily, but he also loved dark arts and justified the unsavory actions of his "friends". In The Prince's Tale, when Snape is trying to apologize and Lily accuses him and his mates of wanting to be Death Eaters he doesn't deny it. He is silent. If we've learned anything in this series, especially when it comes to Snape, it is that silence can be so damn important. So why do people insist that Lily didn't give him a chance? She gave him a chance outside the portrait hole and he ruined it. She gave him more than enough chances in the past, and she finally had it. How much could Lily do besides try to remain friends for as long as she could before everything just snapped?
Time and time again I've seen people argue that Lily didn't do enough to help Snape. But why isn't anyone asking why Snape didn't do enough to help HER. Look, I'm not here to diminish the Marauders' behavior towards Snape: I may be fans of them but I'm not deluded enough not to realize that they were horribly awful bullies to him. Nevertheless, I can't help but look at everything in the grand scheme of things. War is raging, people of Lily's blood/heritage are being killed and attacked due to psuedo-political borderline genocidal ideology, and yet...we're asking why Lily didn't help Snape enough? In many ways, Lily was MUCH more vulnerable.
Reality check: who was in more danger here? Snape by a bunch of--for lack of a better word--douche bag sixteen year olds; or Lily by a political movement aimed at dehumanizing and devaluing her as a human being? Sorry, I realize that Snape was unfairly treated, but I'm going to go for the latter. I'd also argue that Snape should have been more considerate as well, not just Lily. He likely had a better idea just how much danger Lily would be in more than she did.
2) SO, WHY DO WE LIKE MAKING SNAPE LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS?
As a fan of Snape this amuses me and pisses me off at the same time. We all know Snape made some really stupid decisions. Especially the whole, you know, Death Eater thing. But why do people, mainly the ones who are constantly singing praises of his epic brilliance, think he's too dense to know that Lily wanted him to choose between her and an awful path of sketchy future Death Eaters? Snape may have made some really dumb choices in life, but I'd hesitate to assume he's THAT dense not to realize that his friendship with lily was at stake, especially after the Mudblood incident. Therefore, when I see people arguing that Lily wasn't clear enough...HOW MUCH CLEARER CAN SHE GET?
3) DISLIKE LILY ALL YOU WANT, BUT WHY JUSTIFY YOUR DISLIKE OF HER CHARACTER WITH MISOGYNY
Of course, I think JKR could have afforded to show one more scene of Lily and James content with each other, especially since I'm a fan of the pairing. However, I'm going to have to take what we're told in the text (and aren't shown anything that directly contradicts it) as truth: James, like most people who don't stay sixteen forever, grew up and wasn't as much of an arrogant toerag. I trust Lily's judgment not to marry and have a child at the age of twenty with someone who never changed from the immature boy we saw her so irate with during SWM. JKR has even implied that Lily may have harbored feelings for James during/prior to Snape's Worst Memory. Maybe she did, deep down, but if that's true it's obvious that she knew she couldn't have much to do with the ass who was cursing her best friend for show. Also, how she, as some have claimed, was blatantly flirting with James during SWM I'll never know. It's one thing for her to somehow harbor feelings for him in the scene, but I don't know if I'd call anyone screaming, "YOU MAKE ME SICK" flirting.
Regardless, the fact that Lily fell in love with and married James also means the following:
Lily isn't a slut. Lily isn't a gold digging whore. Lily isn't married to James to show Snape a lesson. And most of all, there is no, ZERO proof, that Lily is abused by James simply because he was an asshole to Snape when he was a teenager. What I find so disturbing is that many people have these vivid fantasies of Lily being abused by James as if to prove a point of how stupid Lily is for deciding to be with James, or find some sort of satisfaction that Lily got what she asked for for "dumping" Snape. I've even read the following statement some time ago (yes this is a direct quote): "We also know why Lily, for such a 'brave Gryffindor', ended up huddling pathetically, pleading for her child's life without so much as trying to accio her wand; abused women will cower, not fight." Disregarding the fact that Lily can't accio her wand unless she did so wandlessly, where does this sort of mindset stem from? So now she's pathetic? Hell, if I were Lily I would have peed in my pants ten times already. She already wins.
Lily didn't "ditch Snape" because of some popularity contest. The Marauder Era was not a 90s Romantic Comedy. If she was really the cold hearted bitch so many people in fandom love to make her out to be, she would have kicked him to the curb years ago. I doubt she would have waited until the end of 5th year when he finally went too far. She "ditched" him because of his appalling behavior, period. Hell, Lily can't make a decision without being criticized for it. Breaks up with Snape? She's a skank who was more concerned about popularity than her friendship with an unpopular boy. Married? Oh you know how those Evans sisters are, only think about money, social climbing, and keeping up with appearances (which I also find so perplexing, since Lily is pretty dissimilar to her sister. This was established for a reason, so I'd assume that if Petunia was obsessed with social climbing and keeping up with appearances, Lily probably wouldn't). Misogyny is a problem in fandom in general, so I won't get too deep into this, but it is certainly something to pay attention to. If some folks in fandom can't be critical about Lily's character without reducing her to a young woman who was more concerned about status and looking good on James Potter's arm we have a long way, as a majority female community, to go.
4) IN CONCLUSION:
I don't think Lily is perfect. I'm a fan of Lily and often come to her defense, but I'm not blind enough to believe she was flawless. One can argue that she may have been judgmental, naive, even brash and quick to retaliate against something she finds disagreeable. There is one thing, I'll admit, that I don't know if I have a very good explanation for: that brief hint of a smile she had when Snape was hung upside down during SWM. Honestly, I always thought it was an involuntary reaction to seeing her best friend nearly starkers but that's just me.
Nevertheless, I hardly think that that's enough to deem her bitch of the century and scarlet whore extraordinare who didn't try hard enough to "save" Snape. How some find no fault in going out of their way to blame Lily for Snape' mistakes is beyond me. I put more responsibility on Snape for his dumb decisions because that's part of his character. Disregarding his fatal flaws, whitewashing him, and blaming Lily, the Marauders, his father, the pope, etc for his poor decisions is a tremendous disservice to his character.
I'd love to know more about Lily, but for now I can only work with everything we've got in canon. Lily was a brave, strong willed woman and I appreciate that aspect of her personality, despite only seeing very little of it throughout the series. Unfortunately, women of that nature often a threat to members of fandom, especially, in this case, if she didn't kiss the ground Snape walked on. Everybody's interpretation of how Lily would have acted when she was alive is different but despite disagreements we may have I'd rather they be based on what we see in canon, not what we make up.
--
Comments are welcome! And feel free to pimp!
ETA: Also, I'd like to add that the way many have such lofty expectations for Lily to have acted in her relationship with Snape while completely disregarding Snape's behavior is certainly something of note and discussion.
ETA 2: A Brief Follow Up