Comments | ramen_addict: (WARNING!!! comments = straight crack)

ramen_addict

(WARNING!!! comments = straight crack)

Nov 17, 2006 11:49

DIZZ THAT TOTALLY WAS THE GUY WHO PLAYS GREEN ARROW YOU HOSER. (I don't know why I'm so attached to the guy when I haven't even been watching Smallville since around the time their version of the Flash appeared, but still ( Read more... )

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dizzycadence November 17 2006, 18:27:09 UTC

PEE ESS: YOU'RE THE HOSER. ...YOU HOSER.

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 20:21:07 UTC

SUPERMAN IS A DICK.

...DID YOU JUST CALL ME OLD? OH IT'S ON NOW BITCH.

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 20:30:09 UTC

YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE OLD IF YOU'RE ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN ME.

HOSER CRONE. *runs*

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 20:34:39 UTC

YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BIGGEST HOSER EVER I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND TAKE THIS ABUSE?

GET BACK HERE, YOU WHIPPERSNAPPER!

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 20:43:14 UTC

ONLY THE GREATEST HOSER IN THE WORLD COULD CATCH ME. BUT SINCE THAT'S YOU ANYWAY I'M STILL RUNNING FOR MY LIFE HERE! DON'T FORGET YOUR WALKER.

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 20:45:10 UTC

*TAKES HER TEETH OUT AND THROWS THEM AT YOU*

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 20:54:00 UTC

OH NO I'VE BEEN ENDENTURED.

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 20:55:48 UTC

SAKJSDFHLSDFJHFDSJHKFSDHKJFSD*DED*

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 20:59:15 UTC

TELL ME STRAIGHT, DOC, HOW LONG'S SHE GOT ME? *SHAKES HER BETOOTHED LEG*

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 21:02:23 UTC

JUDGING BY THE RINGS ON THOSE INCISORS, I'D SAY FIVE YEARS AT LEAST.

OR A JELLY DONUT, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 21:04:23 UTC

KEEP HER DISTRACTED WHILE I GO TO KRISPY KREME, THEN.

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 19:10:59 UTC

AND ALSO THERE WAS LIKE TOTALLY A BABY THAT WAS LIKE THE CHOSEN HOSER REBORN AND HE WAS ALL LIKE "WHERE YOU BEEN AT, YA HOSER?"

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 19:22:11 UTC

(XDDDDD)

I FOUND THIS ANCIENT CHINESE TEXT ON THAT SACRED TEXT ARCHIVE WEBSITE THE OTHER DAY THAT HAD A CREATION MYTH, AND IT SAID THE FOLLOWING (TRANSLATED, DUH):

"In the beginning there was a great and barren desert, and then He Who Is Shifty Like Whoa emerged from the sand, and he said "DAMN, MAN, I COULD REALLY USE SOMETHING TO LOOK AT! I BETTER INVENT PLANTS!" which he couldn't actually do because he was all dry and dusty, so he said some magic words and convinced the water people to send their greatest hoser to fill the clouds up with rain, and she did fill them unto bursting so that a great rain fell on the desert world, and then shit grew up into jungles and stuff, and He Who Is Shifty Like Whoa said "THANKS DIZZ!"

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 19:30:40 UTC

YEAH AND THEN MISTER SHIFTY AND DIZZ TOTALLY GOT DRUNK AND THREW CACTUS FRUIT AT FUNDAMENTALISTS AND MISTER SHIFTY TOLD THE TALE OF HOSER-WHO-COMES-BEFORE-ALL. HOSER-WHO-COMES-BEFORE-ALL IS THE BEGINNING AND THE ENDING, THE HOSER-WHO-COMES-BEFORE-ALL IS THE WAY.

AND DIZZ SAID, "LIKE, HOLY SHIT! WHO BE THIS MIGHTIEST OF ALL HOSERS?"

AND MISTER SHIFTY WAS LIKE, "THE HOSER THAT CAN BE NAMED IS NOT THE TRUE HOSER. SO WE JUST CALL HER 'RAMEN'."

ramen_addict November 17 2006, 19:37:03 UTC

BUT THEN HE WAS LIKE "SEE I'VE EVEN GOT A PICTURE THAT MY BIG BROTHER WHO KNOWS THE WAY AND THE HISTORY AND THE TRUTH OF ALL HOSERDOM DREW FOR ME" AND HE HANDED IT OVER AND DIZZ WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE WOW IT WAS ACTUALLY HER, THEY JUST DIDN'T GIVE IT HER NAME BECAUSE DIZZ WAS IN DISGUISE THE WHOLE TIME.

dizzycadence November 17 2006, 19:42:54 UTC

BUT WHEN DIZZ BROUGHT THE PICTURE TO HER FACE ('OMG, I TOTALLY HAVE A ZIT', SHE THOUGHT) IT WAS LIKE ONE THOSE FUCKING ANNOYING ASS MAGIC EYE PAINTINGS AND THE TRUE MEANING WAS REVEALED.

"HA HA HA I WILL ALWAYS BE THE BIGGER HOSER. KISSES. -RAMEN."

AND DIZZ WAS LIKE, "FUCK THIS SHIT. PASS ME THE TEQUILA."

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