four times over

[rallyingpoint]

Title: four times over
Pairing: Jonghyun/Members by name; Jonghyun/Onew
Rating: PG
Length: ~4.6k words
Genre: (I intended for this to be about) Espionage (, of course it didn't happen the way I wanted it to)/Angst
A/N: I imagine this is a bit confusing. I tried to be mysterious but I hope I got the point across

Comments

[ext_1530577]

so in the end jonghyun's true love is still jinki. and jinki's home was jonghyun. i love ittt!!! could u make a sequel? hihikidding. but im glad if you made it. hehe good job author nim!

[rallyingpoint]

Actually, it has been Jonghyun has loved Jinki all along. Kibum, Minho, and Taemin are just Jinki in disguise while he's on spy missions. > < I'm sorry it was so incoherent. But thank you very much. And I already have an idea on what to write for a sequel actually. :D

[ext_1530577]

ahhhh i got it now. no no u dont need to sorry be sorry for, because im the one who didnt read it clearly. seriously u write a sequel??? yeayyyy im waiting. ^^ thankyousomuch

[rallyingpoint]

Thank you, you're so kind. ^^ I'm still thinking about the sequel. If I write it, I'd let you know. :)

[rallyingpoint]

When I first got into SHINee, I couldn't distinguish Key from Jinki. > < I think it was from that time this idea was born.

Jinki tried at first to resist though, when he was Kibum. But it became harder and harder, he didn't even try in the end. :/ Haha I think Jonghyun's the type of romantic who believes in one true love and Jinki was that for him so he took him every time he's around. lol idk

Thanks for commenting ;_; This is my first venture into kpop fanfiction so it means so much to me.

[fleckled]

Okay wow this is unlike a lot of fic I've read and I was really fascinated by it. I was struck by the rhythm of your sentences and writing style, if that makes sense. For example...

...he tried to work his brain, prod at the gears to process Jinki’s solemn, “I’m leaving for London next week,” into a conclusion that involved Jinki not leaving. For London. Next week.The start-and-stop really really works to add emphasis and I love when it's used like this. I really like your style. I have to say if you hadn't mentioned espionage in the notes at the beginning, I'm not sure I would have gotten it completely on the first read-through. That's tough because I also think leaving only the barest amount of information for the reader encourages them to think about it more intensely and figure out the mystery..and the mystery was so compelling. It's a fine line to walk. But the emotions were so clear and you said a lot in a seemingly effortless fashion which is something I envy soooo much when I see it ;__; I dunno if this is a full proper

[rallyingpoint]

Hi, thanks for the comment. You do not know how happy it made me since it came from a writer I admire. I actually read the entire thing for the first time after you commented and I feel like I have gotten lazy with style and stingy with details from some point.

Hopefully I'd have rewritten it enough to make it more understandable and complete if you reread it. Don't hold your breathe though. ;A;

Thanks again.

[fleckled]

K I finally reread it! This time there were a lot of little phrases I appreciated more, like when Jonghyun 'fiercely' thinks of Jinki being alive when he's afraid something happened to him in London, and when Taemin leaves and you say, "It was as if Taemin never existed. In reality, he didn’t." Little things like that really seemed so poignant. I also found myself wondering what changed Jinki's mind in between being Kibum and Minho -- Questions like: what made him go from turning his back on Jonghyun to approaching him in the bar? Did he get sick of their separation? Why didn't he seek him out before then? So it was still catching my curiosity.

It did feel more easily understood but I couldn't put my finger on why! Maybe it's been too long since I last read it, or maybe it's just cause it was my second time (: But I still really enjoyed it! I hope you keep writing because I do like these ideas of yours a lot. Hope you're having a good week too~

[rallyingpoint]

Aimee-ssi (can I call you that?) You're too kind. ;~; Thank you.

I'd maybe write Jinki's version of the events, but I feel I'll be committing sacrilege with what I have in mind. lol

You too, your drabbles on Tumblr are high quality as always. I'd like to read more please~

[jinkibumiminho]

I enjoyed this! I like your style. Just enough details to make the reader care, while allowing the story to move quickly along.

I wonder if you'll feel inspired to write Jinki's side of the story. I'd love to know what he'd been up to all those years. Was he an assassin?

Btw, welcome to the fandom!

[rallyingpoint]

Actually, I was thinking of a different direction for a possible sequel (after I polish this one off, I think it's incomplete and still a work in progress) but your comment inspired to go another direction which I think is better. So thank you very much. And thank you for taking the time to comment. :D

[jinkibumiminho]

Ooh, goodie! I look forward to more.

[hiloser04]

This was grand. I knew somethin was fishy...
When Jonghyun went to London the first time
And then all the facades :(
Poor Jonghyun. But he got his Jinki in the end
Thank you for sharing~

[rallyingpoint]

*o* sorry im a few (a lot) months late with this reply but i still want to thank you for your comment.

i wish i could write this in jinki's perspective too. maybe i would. c: