(no subject)
title: consistently inconsistent [i won't say i'm in love; susan egan]
author: chartre
rating: pg
pairing: koyashige
summary: this time he have me flowers, tegoshi. white roses.
notes: fictional. completely. please don't use the fictional emails. D: they totally don't exist. at least, je-wise, they don't. i think. :0 i had fun writing this, really. lol~ maybe because i really love the song. it's short, but nice. :D applies to most people, don't you think? if you're not familiar, it's the song meg sang in hercules. yes. 8D
I WON’T SAY (I’M IN LOVE) by Susan Egan
Consistently Inconsistent - koyashige
To: tegonyan@je.jp
From: wagahai_kato@je.jp
Subject: For your eyes only!
Dear Tegoshi,
It’s been awhile, ne? Are you eating well? How are you? And Massu? I really wish both you and I can say we’re fine, because in my case, I’m not completely alright here. You need not worry too much, Tegoshi. Ryo says that I just think way too much… I guess I have to agree.
Just two weeks ago (since emailing this to you) I broke up with my girlfriend. Well, she broke up with me, anyway. I just found out she had been going out with another man besides me. It’s been like that ever since before, right? Any girl I’ve dated in the past always had other men besides me. It sucks, Tego, it. Sucks.
It’s not as confusing as you would think, at least not yet. Remember the previous emails I sent you? Regarding Keii-chan? Well, he found out about the breakup, and he’s done it again, the confessing and giving gifts. This time he have me flowers, Tegoshi. White roses. Did you know that in American term, red roses mean a sign of puppy love, and white roses of true love? He told me they were his sort of condolence for my recent breakup.
Tegoshi, I hate it. No, not the roses… not Keii-chan either. It’s just that I’ve had enough; my heart has been broken too many times, taped up too many times, it’s still falling into pieces again and again. I don’t want to fall in love again. I’ve had enough of it already, but Keii-chan is persistent; he won’t leave me alone, and I can’t seem to stay away either.
It’s not that I hate having him around, it’s just that. That I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s not a nice feeling, let me tell you. It hurts a hell lot more than death. (At least, that’s the way I see it. I mean, yeah. I haven’t died yet, now have I?) I just hate it, being dumped over and over again. I’m afraid of getting heartbroken.
There, I’ve said it. I’m afraid of heartbreaks.
But I can’t help it, falling I mean. I think at first that it’s a good start, but then something bad comes up and-. It’s happened too many times, I can’t trust anyone anymore. Keii-chan is a good person, I know. He’s kind, patient, he takes good care of me… I just can’t risk it. I think he’s not worth it. But then I think twice: he’s everything.
No. I’ve been to that stage. I can’t have myself falling for it again. I know I’ve learned my lesson.
But then again, it just feels so nice… Keii-chan’s just so… there are so many times he’s made me happy, made me look up at the bad and torn days, but. But I know I can’t. Every now and then I think of just giving it one last try, one last, final try. But then I think I’ll just end up broken again; another dumped fool.
Keii-chan tries his best to cook for me, you know? One time he made me breakfast in bed. It was the same time I had my first kiss with him. I’m sure you read that. I’m just really embarrassed, is all.
Tegoshi, I can’t say it. I won’t say it. No!
Ryo tells me that I’m not afraid of getting heartbroken. He says I’m just afraid of admitting the fact that I am falling so much, so hard for Keii-chan just because I’m guilty for all the failed relationships I’ve had in the past. I tell him he is wrong, and that he has no basis (He’s stupid like that, doesn’t think enough). He also tells me that I’m just in denial. I tell him I so am not. He tells me then after that I have this look. Every time I see Keii-chan, I have that look. Ryo says it’s me falling in love. He doesn’t say anything else anymore besides that. It’s all he utters to me nowadays, and it’s driving me crazy. Then he tells me Keii-chan drives me crazy.
Finally Ryo says that I just think too much. At first I don’t believe him, no, I don’t. But then there came a time when we had a private talk, Keii-chan and I. He invited me over to his house, and he cooked for me again… for us. A dinner for two. He talked. Keii-chan kissed me again on the lips. This time I kissed him back. You read that right, too.
For the following days, I’ve been thinking a lot. Maybe Ryo was right… maybe I do think too much (Oh, look-a pun!). Okay, I know it’s already confusing for you, Tego, I apologize. But in a nutshell, I’ll just have to admit that. That I’m in love with Keii-chan. Maybe. I don’t know…
For now I hope to read your thoughts about it. Please mail me back as soon as you can!
Love,
Shige
PS. Please don’t tell anyone of my confession. I’m embarrassed as it already sounds. I admitted it clear, but only to you, and maybe to myself. I don’t know, maybe to Keii-chan too, when he comes home tonight. I’ll tell him.
author: chartre
rating: pg
pairing: koyashige
summary: this time he have me flowers, tegoshi. white roses.
notes: fictional. completely. please don't use the fictional emails. D: they totally don't exist. at least, je-wise, they don't. i think. :0 i had fun writing this, really. lol~ maybe because i really love the song. it's short, but nice. :D applies to most people, don't you think? if you're not familiar, it's the song meg sang in hercules. yes. 8D
I WON’T SAY (I’M IN LOVE) by Susan Egan
Consistently Inconsistent - koyashige
To: tegonyan@je.jp
From: wagahai_kato@je.jp
Subject: For your eyes only!
Dear Tegoshi,
It’s been awhile, ne? Are you eating well? How are you? And Massu? I really wish both you and I can say we’re fine, because in my case, I’m not completely alright here. You need not worry too much, Tegoshi. Ryo says that I just think way too much… I guess I have to agree.
Just two weeks ago (since emailing this to you) I broke up with my girlfriend. Well, she broke up with me, anyway. I just found out she had been going out with another man besides me. It’s been like that ever since before, right? Any girl I’ve dated in the past always had other men besides me. It sucks, Tego, it. Sucks.
It’s not as confusing as you would think, at least not yet. Remember the previous emails I sent you? Regarding Keii-chan? Well, he found out about the breakup, and he’s done it again, the confessing and giving gifts. This time he have me flowers, Tegoshi. White roses. Did you know that in American term, red roses mean a sign of puppy love, and white roses of true love? He told me they were his sort of condolence for my recent breakup.
Tegoshi, I hate it. No, not the roses… not Keii-chan either. It’s just that I’ve had enough; my heart has been broken too many times, taped up too many times, it’s still falling into pieces again and again. I don’t want to fall in love again. I’ve had enough of it already, but Keii-chan is persistent; he won’t leave me alone, and I can’t seem to stay away either.
It’s not that I hate having him around, it’s just that. That I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s not a nice feeling, let me tell you. It hurts a hell lot more than death. (At least, that’s the way I see it. I mean, yeah. I haven’t died yet, now have I?) I just hate it, being dumped over and over again. I’m afraid of getting heartbroken.
There, I’ve said it. I’m afraid of heartbreaks.
But I can’t help it, falling I mean. I think at first that it’s a good start, but then something bad comes up and-. It’s happened too many times, I can’t trust anyone anymore. Keii-chan is a good person, I know. He’s kind, patient, he takes good care of me… I just can’t risk it. I think he’s not worth it. But then I think twice: he’s everything.
No. I’ve been to that stage. I can’t have myself falling for it again. I know I’ve learned my lesson.
But then again, it just feels so nice… Keii-chan’s just so… there are so many times he’s made me happy, made me look up at the bad and torn days, but. But I know I can’t. Every now and then I think of just giving it one last try, one last, final try. But then I think I’ll just end up broken again; another dumped fool.
Keii-chan tries his best to cook for me, you know? One time he made me breakfast in bed. It was the same time I had my first kiss with him. I’m sure you read that. I’m just really embarrassed, is all.
Tegoshi, I can’t say it. I won’t say it. No!
Ryo tells me that I’m not afraid of getting heartbroken. He says I’m just afraid of admitting the fact that I am falling so much, so hard for Keii-chan just because I’m guilty for all the failed relationships I’ve had in the past. I tell him he is wrong, and that he has no basis (He’s stupid like that, doesn’t think enough). He also tells me that I’m just in denial. I tell him I so am not. He tells me then after that I have this look. Every time I see Keii-chan, I have that look. Ryo says it’s me falling in love. He doesn’t say anything else anymore besides that. It’s all he utters to me nowadays, and it’s driving me crazy. Then he tells me Keii-chan drives me crazy.
Finally Ryo says that I just think too much. At first I don’t believe him, no, I don’t. But then there came a time when we had a private talk, Keii-chan and I. He invited me over to his house, and he cooked for me again… for us. A dinner for two. He talked. Keii-chan kissed me again on the lips. This time I kissed him back. You read that right, too.
For the following days, I’ve been thinking a lot. Maybe Ryo was right… maybe I do think too much (Oh, look-a pun!). Okay, I know it’s already confusing for you, Tego, I apologize. But in a nutshell, I’ll just have to admit that. That I’m in love with Keii-chan. Maybe. I don’t know…
For now I hope to read your thoughts about it. Please mail me back as soon as you can!
Love,
Shige
PS. Please don’t tell anyone of my confession. I’m embarrassed as it already sounds. I admitted it clear, but only to you, and maybe to myself. I don’t know, maybe to Keii-chan too, when he comes home tonight. I’ll tell him.