Comments | raising_states: [Fanfic] Thanksgiving Dinner

seraphoftales in raising_states

[Fanfic] Thanksgiving Dinner

Nov 27, 2009 00:22

Title: Thanksgiving Dinner
Author/Artist: seraphoftales
Character(s) or Pairing(s): America, ALL THE STATES, Canada
Warnings: Some violence, accidental innaccurate portrayal of states (if you don't like them, I apologize), the first 13 states are considered his brothers and sisters
Summary: Break out the turkey and dig in! It's that holiday once more!

( Thanksgiving was a disaster )

louisiana, kentucky, wisconsin, colorado, florida, hawaii, alaska, arizona, iowa, alabama, new hampshire, south carolina, georgia, idaho, illinois, !theme, tennessee, missouri, california, utah, north dakota, kansas, maryland, pennsylvania, north carolina, connecticut, nebraska, new mexico, delaware, indiana, america, ohio, mississippi, wyoming, massachusetts, texas, montana, new york, oregon, minnesota, vermont, maine, south dakota, michigan, new jersey, washington, arkansas, nevada, rhode island

Comments 8

materia_indigo November 27 2009, 20:23:19 UTC

America solves his problems with a chainsaw! Hee! Love the ending. :D

seraphoftales December 2 2009, 03:05:49 UTC

Thank you! I'm sorry it took me this long to say something but unfortunately school caught up...

lokichan2004 November 28 2009, 07:40:37 UTC

Hee, the Lumberjack Song! This was cute.

seraphoftales December 2 2009, 03:05:12 UTC

Thank you, sorry about the late reply. I've been really busy... orz

jinsai November 29 2009, 09:43:00 UTC

Very cute! As a note for part two though, you have a LOT of incomplete sentences. Most of the fic in fact is composed of complete sentences. For example:

Tennesee, Alabama, Missouri, West Virginia, and Nebraska were all watching a football game on TV. Cheering rather wildly. With Nevada organizing a betting pool. All or nothing. With stakes as high as $100.

-should read:

Tennessee, Alabama, Missouri, West Virginia, and Nebraska were all watching a football game on TV, cheering wildly. Nevada was organizing a betting pool - all or nothing, with stakes as high as $100.

And:
Massachusetts was arguing with Wisconsin. Nothing too philosophical. But a simple debate over which sport was better. Football or Baseball. Neither were winning.

-should read:

Massachusetts was arguing with Wisconsin. Nothing too philosophical, just a simple debate over which sport was better - football or baseball. Neither were winning.

seraphoftales December 2 2009, 03:04:34 UTC

Ah... sorry bout that...

I really need to watch out for that. I'll be more careful next time.

Thank you so much for editing though. And I will try to watch it.

(The comment has been removed)

seraphoftales December 2 2009, 03:01:33 UTC

Argh... Real life has been coming down on me hard lately. So I haven't been able to update this fic... Does nobody notice the little note at the bottom saying there is a part two coming...?

heart_of_gabija December 7 2009, 21:00:25 UTC

This is cute. Such a warm feeling. Betweeen the state where there just as a family,