It Only Takes One Word Or Idea
Title: It Only Takes One Word Or Idea
Author: rainbowruse
Rating: PG13
Length: 1,495 (just shy of the 1500 mark!)
Spoilers: Up to and including Season 2, Episode 10
Summary: A sequel to 'Sometimes I Think That Cupid...' from Quinn's P.O.V. There will probably be more to come, but I'm going to see how it goes =]
The next few weeks were like that afternoon in the hallway had never happened. Three days afterwards Puck had made some stupid M.I.L.F comment. She had slapped his arm in outrage, he had sent her a grin and just like that, all was once again right with the world.
Except in the case of Rachel Berry.
The other girl generally tended to avoid her, but now it was becoming much more obvious. Seeing Rachel's hair whip around a corner just as Quinn turned into the hallway would have been comical if it wasn't so hurtful. And that in itself was puzzling. She knew she'd never really noticed, little own cared about the other girl's plight. Now it was all she could think about, practically. What was it that she had seen in Rachel's eyes that day? There was unfounded compassion, which Quinn had trouble comprehending. Fear, that at least she could recognise and understand. And something else, something overwhelming but unidentifiable.
"Hey Q!"
Quinn looked up to see Mercedes striding towards her, a smile on her face and Kurt by her side.
"Hey Mercedes. Hi Kurt." She offered the pair a small smile, her eyes twinkling with recognition.
"Have you heard about Rachel's latest mission?" Kurt asked, looking at Quinn expectantly, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.
Quinn's heart stopped briefly before tripping back into an irregular beat. For some reason the fear that Kurt knew all about what had happened in the hall stole her calm confidence away.
"Ah, no."
She did her best to look disinterested and succeeded, it was the expression she schooled her face into in times of doubt after all, and Quinn felt like she spent her life second guessing.
Kurt matched her look of disinterest, letting out a short laugh
"Oh, you know, trying to convince Finn that they should abstain until 25. You should have seen his face!"
Quinn smirked, she could only imagine. Those boys.
"That girl." Mercedes said, shaking her head, a small, fond smile on her face.
It was true that it was incredibly easy to get exasperated with Rachel, but there was a certain charm to her madness. Her rapid-fire speeches and crazed campaigns organised in the name of some selfish whim had often distracted Quinn when she'd needed it the most. It's like Rachel was the comic relief in her life, and not only when she was being doused in icy flavoured syrup. There was less of that now, though. After being on the receiving end, Quinn had come to appreciate just how horrible the practice was.
She, Mercedes and Kurt walked three abreast toward the cafeteria, chatting casually. There was a time when she wouldn't have been caught dead with any of the members of Glee, but that was all in the past now. When a girl's world falls apart, the people that stick round really become important to her, you know? And when she was with them she really did feel like just a girl. Not a Cheerio, or a statistic or any of the other things people thought she was or expected her to be. Glee just allowed Quinn to be. And that was so essential when she was trying to figure out what was important to her all over again.
The answers she was coming up with would have made her former self (was that ever truly her self?) sneer and roll her eyes. But her new self, the one that was rising from the ashes was really very different to the caustic girl who had ruled the school. She knew the prickliness was a self defence mechanism, she used it still when things got too overbearing and she couldn't sort out what she was really feeling at the time. But she was working on that.
She had conflicting feelings about the definitions of friendships, relationships, families, it was all such a confusing mess. She didn't want to become involved with anyone too deeply again. Friends, family, whatever. It seemed like it would just lead to hurt, bad choices and worse consequences.
That's why when she and Sam had gone to Breadstix that night and she had been charmed by his dorky nature, sweet smile and admittedly hot body, she'd cursed herself as soon as her back hit her bed. There was no harm in it, she knew. He was cute, sweet and he made her feel beautiful again. But the fact remained that someone else wasn't going to be able to help her find herself. As their relationship panned out, she noticed that Sam and her old self had something in common. They were both obsessed with image. She found her new self slipping back into that same, vain pattern. Still, it made her feel as if she had some semblance of control over her life again. This was what she knew, what was safe and sure. There would be time for change later. Right now she had to keep her head above water. So
Quinn smiled at Sam as she approached him, his broad shoulders leaning against the row of lockers outside of their English classroom. Their hands came together, fingers intertwining as they walked between the rows of desks to the back.
From the corner of her eye Quinn’s gaze roved over the rest of the classroom’s occupants. A silky, smooth mass of hair hid Rachel’s face as she leaned over her desk, scribbling furiously in her notebook. Her and Finn had broken up not too long ago, and even though Rachel had been actively avoiding her even Quinn knew she was acting uncharacteristically withdrawn.
She bumped into Sam as he stopped walking, his eyes darting between the two seats. Quinn rolled her eyes with her face pressed into his shirt. If he was deciding which seat would be more advantageous in terms of reputation, she’d.. she didn’t know what she’d do. She didn’t know what she was doing any more. He decided after another moment, and she sat down in the seat to his left dropping his hand in favour of retrieving her books. The class dragged on, their teacher droning on about the murder of the Romanov family like it was wasn’t one of the most infamous imperial assassinations in history.
Christmas crept up on Quinn. Between getting together with Sam, Kurt leaving, Sectionals, Cheerios and school work she barely had time to think. She was reminded of it only when the halls of McKinley were decked. Her own house remained fairly barren, their decorations gathering dust in the attic.
When Artie told them that Brittany still believed in Santa, Quinn had felt a flash of disbelief surge through her, followed almost immediately by an all consuming wave of lighthearted exasperation. Of course she did. As they sang Welcome Christmas to the staff, Quinn was aware of Rachel singing beside her and not so much of aware of Sam, who was half a row away. Her hand itched as it hung beside her, and the ring around her finger burned reminding her of the seriousness of what was supposed to be nothing at all. But it was a brief thing, her discomfort washed away by the swell of their voices around her, combining beautifully.
Walking into the Choir room to see Artie standing, supported by crutches and a weird looking robotic mechanism stopped Quinn. It didn’t take long for her to wander over though, looking at Artie as he explained what it was he was strapped into. When he took a few steps Quinn felt that feeling again, that surge of an amazing combination of feelings she got when they were all together like this, when they had these sweet, powerful moments. She felt the magic that her Christmases had been lacking since she was seven and her father had told her that Santa Claus was nonsense and that Christmas was a celebration of Jesus’ birth and little else. It was amazing, a real Christmas miracle and she said as much, standing by Artie’s side and revelling in everyone’s delight.
Later, when they all stood around Mr. Schuester's Christmas tree, hanging decorations and candy canes on the finely needled branches she saw Rachel and Finn share a look. It struck her, made her throat close up a little and her breath escape from her lungs all at once. Then Sam was laying a hand on her shoulder and passing her a silver bauble to hang, asking if she wanted to come over for sugar cookies and she smiled at him, touched at his thoughtfulness. If she could, she wanted to delay going home to her mother and the house where she had little else to do but think about how her life was still looking like the ruse it always had been. But only Quinn knew that as she took Sam’s hand, feeling Rachel’s presence behind her even as she leaned in to press a kiss to the blonde boy’s cheek.
Author: rainbowruse
Rating: PG13
Length: 1,495 (just shy of the 1500 mark!)
Spoilers: Up to and including Season 2, Episode 10
Summary: A sequel to 'Sometimes I Think That Cupid...' from Quinn's P.O.V. There will probably be more to come, but I'm going to see how it goes =]
The next few weeks were like that afternoon in the hallway had never happened. Three days afterwards Puck had made some stupid M.I.L.F comment. She had slapped his arm in outrage, he had sent her a grin and just like that, all was once again right with the world.
Except in the case of Rachel Berry.
The other girl generally tended to avoid her, but now it was becoming much more obvious. Seeing Rachel's hair whip around a corner just as Quinn turned into the hallway would have been comical if it wasn't so hurtful. And that in itself was puzzling. She knew she'd never really noticed, little own cared about the other girl's plight. Now it was all she could think about, practically. What was it that she had seen in Rachel's eyes that day? There was unfounded compassion, which Quinn had trouble comprehending. Fear, that at least she could recognise and understand. And something else, something overwhelming but unidentifiable.
"Hey Q!"
Quinn looked up to see Mercedes striding towards her, a smile on her face and Kurt by her side.
"Hey Mercedes. Hi Kurt." She offered the pair a small smile, her eyes twinkling with recognition.
"Have you heard about Rachel's latest mission?" Kurt asked, looking at Quinn expectantly, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.
Quinn's heart stopped briefly before tripping back into an irregular beat. For some reason the fear that Kurt knew all about what had happened in the hall stole her calm confidence away.
"Ah, no."
She did her best to look disinterested and succeeded, it was the expression she schooled her face into in times of doubt after all, and Quinn felt like she spent her life second guessing.
Kurt matched her look of disinterest, letting out a short laugh
"Oh, you know, trying to convince Finn that they should abstain until 25. You should have seen his face!"
Quinn smirked, she could only imagine. Those boys.
"That girl." Mercedes said, shaking her head, a small, fond smile on her face.
It was true that it was incredibly easy to get exasperated with Rachel, but there was a certain charm to her madness. Her rapid-fire speeches and crazed campaigns organised in the name of some selfish whim had often distracted Quinn when she'd needed it the most. It's like Rachel was the comic relief in her life, and not only when she was being doused in icy flavoured syrup. There was less of that now, though. After being on the receiving end, Quinn had come to appreciate just how horrible the practice was.
She, Mercedes and Kurt walked three abreast toward the cafeteria, chatting casually. There was a time when she wouldn't have been caught dead with any of the members of Glee, but that was all in the past now. When a girl's world falls apart, the people that stick round really become important to her, you know? And when she was with them she really did feel like just a girl. Not a Cheerio, or a statistic or any of the other things people thought she was or expected her to be. Glee just allowed Quinn to be. And that was so essential when she was trying to figure out what was important to her all over again.
The answers she was coming up with would have made her former self (was that ever truly her self?) sneer and roll her eyes. But her new self, the one that was rising from the ashes was really very different to the caustic girl who had ruled the school. She knew the prickliness was a self defence mechanism, she used it still when things got too overbearing and she couldn't sort out what she was really feeling at the time. But she was working on that.
She had conflicting feelings about the definitions of friendships, relationships, families, it was all such a confusing mess. She didn't want to become involved with anyone too deeply again. Friends, family, whatever. It seemed like it would just lead to hurt, bad choices and worse consequences.
That's why when she and Sam had gone to Breadstix that night and she had been charmed by his dorky nature, sweet smile and admittedly hot body, she'd cursed herself as soon as her back hit her bed. There was no harm in it, she knew. He was cute, sweet and he made her feel beautiful again. But the fact remained that someone else wasn't going to be able to help her find herself. As their relationship panned out, she noticed that Sam and her old self had something in common. They were both obsessed with image. She found her new self slipping back into that same, vain pattern. Still, it made her feel as if she had some semblance of control over her life again. This was what she knew, what was safe and sure. There would be time for change later. Right now she had to keep her head above water. So
Quinn smiled at Sam as she approached him, his broad shoulders leaning against the row of lockers outside of their English classroom. Their hands came together, fingers intertwining as they walked between the rows of desks to the back.
From the corner of her eye Quinn’s gaze roved over the rest of the classroom’s occupants. A silky, smooth mass of hair hid Rachel’s face as she leaned over her desk, scribbling furiously in her notebook. Her and Finn had broken up not too long ago, and even though Rachel had been actively avoiding her even Quinn knew she was acting uncharacteristically withdrawn.
She bumped into Sam as he stopped walking, his eyes darting between the two seats. Quinn rolled her eyes with her face pressed into his shirt. If he was deciding which seat would be more advantageous in terms of reputation, she’d.. she didn’t know what she’d do. She didn’t know what she was doing any more. He decided after another moment, and she sat down in the seat to his left dropping his hand in favour of retrieving her books. The class dragged on, their teacher droning on about the murder of the Romanov family like it was wasn’t one of the most infamous imperial assassinations in history.
Christmas crept up on Quinn. Between getting together with Sam, Kurt leaving, Sectionals, Cheerios and school work she barely had time to think. She was reminded of it only when the halls of McKinley were decked. Her own house remained fairly barren, their decorations gathering dust in the attic.
When Artie told them that Brittany still believed in Santa, Quinn had felt a flash of disbelief surge through her, followed almost immediately by an all consuming wave of lighthearted exasperation. Of course she did. As they sang Welcome Christmas to the staff, Quinn was aware of Rachel singing beside her and not so much of aware of Sam, who was half a row away. Her hand itched as it hung beside her, and the ring around her finger burned reminding her of the seriousness of what was supposed to be nothing at all. But it was a brief thing, her discomfort washed away by the swell of their voices around her, combining beautifully.
Walking into the Choir room to see Artie standing, supported by crutches and a weird looking robotic mechanism stopped Quinn. It didn’t take long for her to wander over though, looking at Artie as he explained what it was he was strapped into. When he took a few steps Quinn felt that feeling again, that surge of an amazing combination of feelings she got when they were all together like this, when they had these sweet, powerful moments. She felt the magic that her Christmases had been lacking since she was seven and her father had told her that Santa Claus was nonsense and that Christmas was a celebration of Jesus’ birth and little else. It was amazing, a real Christmas miracle and she said as much, standing by Artie’s side and revelling in everyone’s delight.
Later, when they all stood around Mr. Schuester's Christmas tree, hanging decorations and candy canes on the finely needled branches she saw Rachel and Finn share a look. It struck her, made her throat close up a little and her breath escape from her lungs all at once. Then Sam was laying a hand on her shoulder and passing her a silver bauble to hang, asking if she wanted to come over for sugar cookies and she smiled at him, touched at his thoughtfulness. If she could, she wanted to delay going home to her mother and the house where she had little else to do but think about how her life was still looking like the ruse it always had been. But only Quinn knew that as she took Sam’s hand, feeling Rachel’s presence behind her even as she leaned in to press a kiss to the blonde boy’s cheek.