Original PostRating: G
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur, Gaius, Leon
Summary: There's a mouse problem in Camelot, and a cat problem in Arthur's mind.
Word Count: 1454
Prompt: Arthur may be afraid of cats, but it's Morgana's fault.
A/N: For
ag_fics Team Fic Battle.
Merlin rubbed his forehead. He was getting that headache again, that one that so often came from Arthur being... well, Arthur. "Sire, we need to do something about the mouse problem. They've nested in half the wardrobes in the castle and are making a complete mess in the kitchens. Cook is threatening to quit, and you really don't want to know what some of the ladies of the court are saying, with their clothing all ruined."
Arthur crossed his arms and stuck his chin out even more stubbornly. "As I've already said, find a way to deal with it."
"Right," Merlin nodded. "And as I've already said, getting cats would take care of it--"
"NO. No cats. We've already discussed that."
The headache was growing. "We didn't 'discuss' it. You said, 'No cats,' and that was that."
Dropping his arms, Arthur stalked across his chambers toward his desk. "That counts as a discussion, when it's the king saying it."
"But, how do you expect me to do anything about all these mice, if you won't allow cats in the castle?" Merlin exclaimed, exasperated.
Arthur plopped into his chair. "I have complete faith that you will find a way."
The first few replies that came to Merlin's mind were not ones he could readily say. Finally, he demanded, "At least, tell me why you are so averse to having cats."
Arthur seemed as though he would refuse, but ended up gesturing for Merlin to come over. Once there was no way they could be overheard, even if someone was listening at the door, Arthur said quietly, "Morgana can communicate with them. Not magically, just... they understand one another."
Merlin met Arthur's eyes, expecting to see a sarcastic glint in them. But Arthur's expression was entirely in earnest.
Merlin blinked. "They 'understand' one another," he repeated slowly.
Arthur nodded. "I know it sounds like magic-- well, maybe it is," he mused. "When I found out about it, I was unaware that she was a sorceress."
"Um." Merlin pondered where best to go with this conversation, and decided to back it up a bit. "How did you find out?"
Arthur sighed and began fiddling with the quill that had been on his desk. "She showed me, years ago-- not long after she came to live at Camelot."
Still uncertain what to say, since Merlin could not imagine how so many years had passed without his knowing that Morgana possessed such an ability, he settled on, "How did she show you?"
Arthur snorted. "How do you think? She looked at one of the castle cats and it told her what I had been doing earlier that day. It even told her things I'd said."
"I see." That was a lie. While Merlin was well aware of familiars and how they worked, he had never once seen a cat anywhere near Morgana, which suggested to him that there was something else going on here. "Arthur... is it possible she was winding you up? Maybe she saw you that day without you knowing it, and overheard you talking?"
"No." Arthur shook his head emphatically. "All of that happened when I was watching Father train with the knights, and she was nowhere around."
That was odd, indeed, though Merlin remained unconvinced. "Just because she did that once, does not mean she still can."
"Of course, it does not." Arthur gave Merlin an indignant look. "She kept doing it until I got Father to ban all cats from the living areas of the castle."
Strange as it all sounded, Merlin seized onto what he could. "The living areas of the castle, right. So, I'll just go get a few cats for the kitchens--"
Arthur grabbed his wrist tightly. "You do so on penalty of death."
"But--"
"There has never been a greater threat to Camelot than Morgana now poses. To bring a cat anywhere near the citadel would be an act of treason."
That headache was taking hold again. "Fine. I'll find another way to deal with the mice."
Releasing Merlin's wrist, Arthur muttered, "See that you do."
Merlin was still puzzling the whole thing over when he got back to the physician's chambers. "Gaius, have you heard anything about Morgana communicating with cats?"
Gaius's eyebrow crept up. "Are you saying she has found a familiar?"
"No, from childhood." Merlin was even more sure of his suspicion that the whole thing was a load of rubbish when Gaius shook his head, though that still left the question as to why Arthur was so very convinced. "Apparently, she seemed to communicate with them shortly after her arrival."
"Where did you hear such a thing?" Gaius asked.
Merlin briefly related the conversation with Arthur.
Gaius hummed thoughtfully. "You may wish to ask Sir Leon; he used to keep company with Arthur whilst his father was a knight. And, Arthur had a serving boy called Peter at the time, who might remember something that could help. I believe he works in the royal armory now-- though, you should be careful what you say. I doubt Arthur would like to hear that you've been asking about him behind his back."
That sounded like a good place to start, and as the armory was close by, Merlin decided to start with Peter. Walking in, he was pleasantly surprised to find Leon there, surveying the rack of spears.
"Sir Leon, may I ask you a question?"
Turning, Leon nodded, both in greeting and acquiescence. "Merlin. What is it?"
How to phrase this carefully...? "If I were to say, 'Morgana and cats,' would that mean anything to you?"
"'Morgana and cats'?" Leon repeated, seemingly confused at first. Suddenly, his expression went completely neutral. "No, that means nothing to me."
That struck Merlin as strange and, studying the knight, Merlin gave it one more try. "'Morgana and cats,' are you certain?"
A young man had been passing behind them as Merlin spoke and dropped the armful of sheaths he had been carrying. "So sorry," he mumbled, bending to pick them up.
Merlin automatically began to help him, when he noticed that Leon was merely staring at the servant. "Are you, by any chance, Peter?" Merlin queried. Leon cleared his throat, and did not quite finish shaking his head at the servant when Merlin glanced at him.
"Uhh... no?"
"Peter!" the chief armorer called from across the room. "Where are those sheaths?"
The servant, who apparently was Peter, groaned. "Coming!"
Merlin looked back and forth between him and Sir Leon. "What's going on?" When neither of them seemed inclined to reply, he snapped, "Then, I hope you don't mind mouse droppings as seasoning in all your food-- because without any cats in Camelot, that's soon to be the case."
Leon sighed. "Fine. But--" He leaned in and stuck a finger in Merlin's face. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone, it will be the last thing you ever do."
Unperturbed after all the threats Arthur had made against him, Merlin merely nodded.
"It was Morgana's idea," Leon said, keeping his voice low. "She convinced us to go along with it. You see, Arthur was being an insufferable prat back then. So, she came up with this idea for keeping him in line. Peter, here, and I told her about things Arthur had said and done over the course of a day, and she acted as though she could talk to the castle cats-- that they were reporting everything to her."
"Seems a dangerous game, in a kingdom where witchcraft is outlawed," Merlin commented.
Leon grinned. "No, that was the beauty of the plan. Arthur had been acting out so much since Morgana arrived that If he had tried to tell his father that she was talking to cats, he would have been laughed out of the throne room."
It only took Merlin a moment to ponder that situation before he laughed. "And it worked?"
"It did, until King Uther got so tired of Arthur yelling and running away whenever a cat came near him, that he all but banished them from the castle. I do think he was starting to worry about Arthur."
That was even funnier... but, the current rodent population in the castle was not. "I think it might be worthwhile to mention this to Arthur," Merlin suggested.
Peter had finished collecting the sheaths and had been laughing along with them, but promptly dropped them all again at that. "What? No!"
"It's not a good idea," Leon agreed.
Merlin shrugged and began to walk backwards away from them. "Mouse-dropping stew..."
* * *
The next day, Arthur ordered Merlin to go find cats for the castle.
Neither of them acknowledged that they had ever discussed cats before.
*