Just Add Destiny and Stir
A bit of Barbverse silliness inspired by the recent events in the comics, but there are no comics spoilers. As such. Mostly. :shifty look:
*******
"Giles? It's three in the morning!"
"This is rather urgent, Buffy. There's a prophecy - "
"Another one? I would have thought we'd be fresh out by now."
"Er, well, the Council's been aware of this one for quite some time, actually, but I've only recently discovered the most important details. It involves a slayer and a vampire, destined to..."
"But you had to wait until three AM to tell me about it?"
"Ah. Well. The time was not right."
"I'm pretty sure there are plenty of righter times than three AM."
[Irritated throat-clearing from the right coast of the Atlantic] "As I was saying, the prophecy speaks of a slayer and a vampire, destined to come together in an unholy union which unleashes upon the world a chaotic force that - "
"Look, Giles, always glad to hear from you, but Jess is teething and Vicki's all over blue spots from some weird demon flu, and Alex has a science project due tomorrow and Spike exploded half the basement 'helping' him and now there's this freaky glowing hole where the washing machine used to be, and Connie got sent to counseling for staking her gym teacher - he was a vampire, but he had tenure - and Bill's grounded until he gets that stalking his would-be girlfriend wasn't cute when his father did it, either, and - "
[A loud crash, and a bellow of "SLAYER!"]
"Spike, don't let it up here! I just - crap! Giles, I have to go - the washing machine's back, and it's, uh, got teeth."
"But the prophecy - "
"I can pencil it in next month. Oh, wait, no, the Central Pacific Regional Championships are next month, and I've got two students going. And also there's this ceremonial clan duel thing going on with the Fyarl demons, and if Spike and I don't - Connie, put that axe DOWN, it's still in the rinse cycle! - look, call me tomorrow, OK?"
"Buffy, this is immensely important - "
"Love ya, Giles! Bye!"
[Click.]
Giles sat back and polished his glasses, gazing at the dire warnings inscribed upon the pages of the ancient tome before him. At length he replaced his glasses, closed the book and returned it to its place on the shelf. As prophecies went, it seemed Buffy already had this one sorted.
END
*******
"Giles? It's three in the morning!"
"This is rather urgent, Buffy. There's a prophecy - "
"Another one? I would have thought we'd be fresh out by now."
"Er, well, the Council's been aware of this one for quite some time, actually, but I've only recently discovered the most important details. It involves a slayer and a vampire, destined to..."
"But you had to wait until three AM to tell me about it?"
"Ah. Well. The time was not right."
"I'm pretty sure there are plenty of righter times than three AM."
[Irritated throat-clearing from the right coast of the Atlantic] "As I was saying, the prophecy speaks of a slayer and a vampire, destined to come together in an unholy union which unleashes upon the world a chaotic force that - "
"Look, Giles, always glad to hear from you, but Jess is teething and Vicki's all over blue spots from some weird demon flu, and Alex has a science project due tomorrow and Spike exploded half the basement 'helping' him and now there's this freaky glowing hole where the washing machine used to be, and Connie got sent to counseling for staking her gym teacher - he was a vampire, but he had tenure - and Bill's grounded until he gets that stalking his would-be girlfriend wasn't cute when his father did it, either, and - "
[A loud crash, and a bellow of "SLAYER!"]
"Spike, don't let it up here! I just - crap! Giles, I have to go - the washing machine's back, and it's, uh, got teeth."
"But the prophecy - "
"I can pencil it in next month. Oh, wait, no, the Central Pacific Regional Championships are next month, and I've got two students going. And also there's this ceremonial clan duel thing going on with the Fyarl demons, and if Spike and I don't - Connie, put that axe DOWN, it's still in the rinse cycle! - look, call me tomorrow, OK?"
"Buffy, this is immensely important - "
"Love ya, Giles! Bye!"
[Click.]
Giles sat back and polished his glasses, gazing at the dire warnings inscribed upon the pages of the ancient tome before him. At length he replaced his glasses, closed the book and returned it to its place on the shelf. As prophecies went, it seemed Buffy already had this one sorted.
END