Chapter: 1/1
Word Count: 1,018
Summary: She means to tell him right away. She swears it.
A/N: This was really difficult to write. It's like--I have a pretty good idea in my head of what's going to actually happen on the show but then I have what I want to happen and then what the writers should have happen...it's a mess and I'm anxiously waiting to see how the writers will dig themselves out of this one.
She means to tell him right away. She swears it. There’s no point in keeping it a secret from him-he’s going to find eventually. It’s a small town and people talk. Even though only she and George know why he called off the wedding that doesn’t mean Wade won’t hear about it too. Lemon will probably point a finger at her the first chance she gets. It would be so much worse for him to find out from some town gossip than it would be to hear it from her, straight out. If this is going to hurt him she wants it to be and glancing blow instead of a fatal shot.
She hesitates at the bedroom door trying to figure out exactly what to say to him. It’s important that it’s worded properly because just spilling ‘George is single now and just kissed me’ would be too abrasive and probably result in him storming out on her. That’s the last thing she wants. If he’s going to leave here tonight she doesn’t want him to be angry.
She’ll explain it to him in a way that he’ll have to understand.
It wasn’t her fault this time. She didn’t go running to him, she wasn’t pining for him-George is responsible this time. He was the one that called off the wedding and came to her and kissed her. She didn’t even say anything to him. She barely even kissed him back. That has to count for something.
She’ll tell him that she has to at least hear George out. He just ended a fifteen year relationship because of her and that deserves some acknowledgment.
He’ll understand and it’ll be okay. This isn’t going to ruin everything. He’ll be okay.
She takes a deep breath and leans against the bedroom door trying to build up the last bits of courage. Quick like a band-aid she tells herself. The sooner she opens the door and says what she needs to say that soon they can deal with it and move on.
He’s moved to the bed with the blankets lying against his hips. His eyes are closed and she would think that he’s asleep if it wasn’t for the smile playing on his lips. He opens his eyes when he hears the sound of the door closing behind her and he sits up and shifts on the bed so he can look at her.
“Hey.”
It’s such a simple word, one she’s heard him say a thousand times before, but it changes everything. There’s something about the way that he says it-he sounds so calm and sleepy and happy-that makes the perfectly prepared speech that she had in her mind dissolve. She can’t do this to him. She can’t hurt him. Not tonight. She can’t be the reason why the smile falls from her face.
“You gonna stand there staring at me or are you gonna do something about it?” He teases and she ducks her head. “Everything okay? Did Lavon--.”
“It’s fine.” She says, shaking her head and walking towards him; maintaining eye contact the best she can while trying not to trip over their clothing that’s been carelessly discarded on the floor. It’s not like she’s lying to him if he doesn’t get a chance to ask anything. “Everything’s fine.” She says softly and if she focuses hard enough on the light in his eyes she can almost believe it.
When she gets to the bed he moves over to make enough room for her to lie down. She lets the robe fall off her shoulders and blushes under the heat of his gaze.
She lies down and relaxes next to him. It’s surprisingly easy to do when he puts one arm around her shoulders and pulls her close so their legs tangle together. She sighs as he kisses the side of her head.
It hurts because she knows that gesture has nothing to do with sexual frustration. What he’s feeling for her is more than just physical. He’s not going to understand, he’s not going to be okay.
She exhales a deep, shuddering, breath. This is so much more than she expected. If George deserves a shot then so does Wade and how the hell is she supposed to manage that? Someone is going to get hurt-maybe both of them will and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to fix it.
George is what she has always wanted. He’s dependable and honorable and successful. Her parents would love him and accept him and they could be great. She could spend the rest of her life with him without ever questioning her choice. It would be simple and story book.
But Wade is an adventure. They would split their time between arguing and teasing and kissing and loving. Her parents would look at her like she’s crazy for being with him but eventually he’d ware them down and charm his way into their lives just like he did with their daughter. He takes time to get to know and understand and she could spend the rest of her life with him learning every little thing about him and being reminded why she’s there with him with every bit of information he gives up. They would be a different kind of story book. A whole new plot but with the same ending. Happily ever after.
He’s completely unaware of her inner turmoil and falling asleep on her shoulder.
“Wade.” She whispers. That’s all she has, no follow up if he responds.
He hums and picks his head up so she’s tucked beneath his chin. His hand cups her hip as she turns to her side to face him so her face is buried in his neck. She kisses his skin and hears him make that humming sound again in appreciation.
She doesn’t need to talk to him tonight. They can fall asleep like this and he can be happy and she can pretend for a little while that this is the way that it’ll always be.
She’s giving them the night.